Fear and revulsion made composure impossible for Udele. She looked up several times at Edwina’s face, where a look of horror was etched, her wide-open eyes staring straight to the heavens and her mouth still open in a silent scream. Gently, with trembling fingers, Udele brought the lids of her eyes down and pressed the gaping mouth closed. Edwina’s look turned almost peaceful.
I never meant for her to be dead,
her mind tried to convince a jury that might descend on her and smite her as suddenly and thoughtlessly as Edwina had been smitten.
Servants crowded around the weeping Udele, but she did not notice their presence. Neither was she conscious of their slow and quiet withdrawal from the room as a taller and much
m
ore commanding figure entered. As she felt Conan’s pres
ence behind her, she turned red, swollen eyes up to him. He stared straight at the form that was his wife.
His back was straight, his arms stiff at his sides. The blue of his eyes seemed sheathed in ice, anger and horror fixed his mouth into a straight line, and his temples pulsed with the rapid beat of his heart.
“
Conan,” she began, rising to him.
“
Leave me,” he said in a hoarse whisper, his eyes never moving from his wife’s face.
“
Conan, let me comfort you
--
”
“
Leave me!”
Udele rose shakily to her feet, a slight and trembling form beside him. She looked into the cold harshness of his eyes and thought she saw a tear beginning to form.
“
Conan, she fainted on the
--
”
With a sharp snap, his head jolted in her direction and stilled her attempted explanations. He stared at her with nothing less than hatred, and the guilt in her turned to fear that he would know what had happened. Cautiously she turned and made her way out of the chamber, pausing to lean against the closed door to collect herself.
The guilt and terror began to ease as a sense of order returned to her befuddled mind. No one had seen what happened. She had not pushed Edwina with enough force to leave marks on her back. Indeed, she was swooning on the stair. She might have fallen in any case. And Conan would need her now
--
he would need the support and comfort she could give. Only she knew how to give that support! He would suffer grave disappointment, for he certainly wanted the child. For a time he would feel lost and need
--
A wail, loud and ringing with agony, came from the chamber within, stopping her thoughts and causing her to jump in surprise. Udele’s eyes became round and she almost panicked from the sheer passion and anguish of the cry.
Finally she moved down the hall toward her own room, a dazed look on her face.
Does he grieve?
she asked herself.
Did he truly cherish her so much? Did he learn to love her and finally forget the other woman? Giselle had said a lovely blond woman with strength and passion
--
Edwina had cer
tainly never been that! Never! But, had she begun to fulfill that destined role? Was she the one after all?
Stoddard Keep was kept quiet and dark through the evening. No one spoke above a whisper, and while food was put on the table in the hall, few felt the desire for it and Conan ignored the tray placed outside the chamber door. Murmurings spread through the hall that Sir Conan had closeted himself with his dead wife. Some feared for his well-being, others questioned his sanity. Not one person within the keep slept easily.
Morning brought Conan from his private hold looking haggard and worn, but his eyes were of that clear and determined blue that his opponents saw in a contest of arms or battles. Udele found her son in the dining hall moments after he had arrived. Clearly her task at hand was to show Conan she would never fail him.
“
Prepare Lady Edwina’s body,” he told a serving woman.
“
I will take her home to lie near her mother.”
“
Then I will prepare to ride with you
--
” Udele started.
“
Madam! For the love of Christ! You are not needed at Phalen Castle! Take yourself and your train of servants to my father and bring this sad news to him!”
He turned on his heel and left the hall, the brisk morning air rushing in as he opened the heavy door, catching the soft, light fabric of Udele’s gown and causing it to billow.
I must hasten,
she thought.
I must take myself to Anselm quickly. He will come to me when Edwina is buried and have need of my comfort. He will soon see there is no other more able.
Before the sun was very high in the sky, Udele and Edythe, with horsed men and many servants, were on the road to Anselm.
***
In the cold of January, when the ground was more like rock than soil and the wind threatened to rip a man’s skin from his face, a place was rent in the merciless earth for the body of Lady Edwina de Corbney of Phalen, Stoddard and Anselm. A slow tear touched Medwin’s cheek, but that was all the pain he allowed to show. On one side of him stood Sir Conan, and on the other side was Lady Chandra, her husband next to her.
Later, in the quiet of the hall, those same four sat around the lord’s table, and with a saddened and quiet mien they partook of an evening meal. Tedric, while cautiously quiet, was the only one who could find his appetite.
“
You have delivered the tithe now without beggaring this estate,” Conan said to Medwin.
“
Thanks to Tedric.”
“
You need not fear for Phalen now, son,” Medwin said wearily.
“
I do not fear. I know that the money was necessary for you to exist. Should other problems with money arise, I would have you approach my father. I have allowed a substantial sum for emergencies.”
Tedric looked up from his food and glared at Conan. Conan returned the stare.
“
I am to inherit this land, this keep,” Conan continued.
“
It is not necessary to rely on any other for the help you need.”
“
You do not trust me even now,” Tedric said.
“
You are advising Medwin to take nothing from me!”
Conan looked at Tedric closely.
“
Nay, Tedric, I do not trust you. And I do not want you to help Medwin with any matter concerning my estate.”
Tedric’s jaw twitched in muted anger and Chandra seemed to withdraw slightly in apprehension. Even Medwin was uneasy with the fact that these two men were forced to share a table after the event of Edwina’s death.
“
My lord,” Conan went on.
“
I ask only one thing of you. In times of trouble, seek out my father or Galen. Either would work hard and honestly to preserve this estate for me.”
Chandra sat a bit straighter in her chair and a look of surprise came over her face.
“
And why would I call on them when you are heir to all this?”
“
Because I leave shortly to join Richard. I will go to war.”
“
Now?” Medwin choked.
“
Now, when so much rests on your management?”
“
Aye, now. My father grows old, but he commands a strong army still. And Stoddard has benefited from my labors and is a fit place for Galen to learn his duties. As for Phalen, your army is not weak and you can hold this hall. Should that prove difficult, my father and brother will support you.”
“
But ‘tis your presence in England that gives me peace of mind!”
“
My presence?” Conan asked with a raised brow.
“
Nobles who once praised my skills call me coward now. And my strong arm here is abused. While I am anxious to serve, I have found myself used as an errand boy for two aging lords,
a
nd a lame bird to be mocked before my fellow knights. I could not leave England while Edwina was heavy with child; but she is gone, God rest her soul. And I have a matter to settle with myself
--
lest I come to doubt my own worth.”
Medwin raised his tired eyes to Conan and nodded.
“
There is nothing here for you now, is there, son?”
Conan looked at Chandra, then Tedric. He returned his gaze to Medwin.
“
I do not take the concerns of my inheri
tance lightly, my lord, but wealth has never been of supreme importance to me. There is much I cherish here, I cannot deny that. But what is worth holding will keep faithful until my return.”
Chandra raised crystalline blue eyes to meet his. A faint and almost imperceptible smile touched her lips. Conan felt the comfort of her support. Any love that was true would not vanish with his leaving. Love would wait faithfully
--
as would battles to be fought.
Medwin sighed and rose.
“
My youth is not so long past that I cannot remember the stirrings of a young man. I hope you find what you seek.”
“
I would take your blessings into battle, my lord, rather than your reluctance to see me go.”
The old man moved to Conan’s side of the table and dropped an arm about his shoulders.
“
I cannot give you men, but there are some things you might take with you. Come and look at the leather goods kept with the horses. Those who will pledge to ride with you will have need of sturdy stuff.”
The two walked together to the rear of the keep. Chandra looked down at her hands and felt the tears collect in her eyes, but she did not dare let Tedric see. She longed to wish Conan well, to promise her prayers.
Tedric gave a short laugh and looked at her.
“
Your hero is leaving you.”
Chandra stiffened.
“
Does this not finally convince you that he has no great longing for me?”
Tedric laughed outright.
“
Do not let your p
ain at his parting show, ma che
r
i
e. He goes now because there is nothing he can do to have you. But Conan is never long without a plan. Perhaps he thinks that riches and fame won in war will allow him a better chance at wresting you away from me when he returns
--
if he returns.”
“
Your jealousy and greed eat at you, Tedric. He does not
n
eed to return to battle you: you will meet your own end through all this evil
--
”
He grasped her arm tightly, and she was stilled and forced to look into his steely gray eyes.
“
There is
no one here to protect you, che
rie,” he said slowly.
“
Have a care with your words.”
***
Galen rode swiftly to meet his brother at an inn in Canterbury, following the message from his brother allowing for his rather premature release from the service of Sir Boswell. He walked with a proud gait, his head held high. He was certainly a de Corbney. Conan saw him enter the common room and look about. As Conan approached him, Galen gave a sign of greeting and then fell to one knee before his brother. Conan’s hand on his shoulder and a gentle but firm command bade him rise.
“
You are young, Galen. Not yet five and ten. But you are strong. Sir Boswell speaks well of your talents.”
Galen smiled in embarrassed pride.
“
You are too young to be knighted,” Conan said.
“
If I work hard I will gain that honor by eighteen.” And then more quietly he added,
“
As you did.”
Conan laughed lightly.
“
But we have not the time. Are you prepared to pledge your fealty to Richard our king, myself and our father?”
His mouth slightly agape, Galen could do nothing but nod the affirmative.
“
You will shortly take my place at Stoddard Keep until such a time as a proper castellan can be installed there. As for Lord Alaric, you must serve Anselm at his whim. In good time, Sir Medwin may have need of you: I have asked him to seek out you or our father in times of crisis, for that land is mine. You see, Galen, you must continue to learn as you rule. It will not be an easy task, but one I believe you capable of.”
“
Conan, who will follow me?”
“
Any man who loves or fears me. The first you will find easily. The latter will find you.”
“
Is the need so great that I am called home to give you aid?”
“
You will be my aid, Galen, to be sure, but I will not be near enough to counsel you. When you are installed on our
h
ome ground as our father’s strong arm, I will leave for France. From there I will go with King Richard to the Holy Land.” He smiled proudly.
“
When I am returned, you will have to share your empire with me.”