The Boy from Aleppo Who Painted the War (23 page)

I hear them say a word in Arabic that means ‘in God's will'. But it sounds different when they say it. Do they know Arabic?

We are at the front of the line now and the man gives Yasmine a box and then gives a box to me. Then he starts smiling and saying things to me that I don't understand. I look to the side to see if Yasmine knows what to do. She just says ‘thank you' in Arabic and walks away. I really wish I knew what he was saying.

Yasmine holds onto my arm really tightly. She isn't looking at me though, she's looking at a guy walking towards us. Is he going to hurt her? I won't let anyone hurt Yasmine any more.

‘What's wrong Yasmine?'

Yasmine doesn't reply and holds me tighter. The guy is next to us now and says ‘hi' to her. Yasmine doesn't reply, she just stares at him. What's going on?

‘Wisam…'

He laughs and puts his hand on her shoulder.

‘How have you been?'

Yasmine lets go of my arm and her face goes so red like she is going to pour strawberry juice. The guy is looking at her the way Baba used to look at mama. There's something familiar about him. Is he the guy I read about in the diary?

‘I… I'm good…'

‘I never stopped thinking about you…'

‘Neither did I!' Yasmine jumps and speaks fast. I have never seen her act this way. I think she realises she spoke too fast because she moves back a little and looks down.

‘I hope you come to Turkey with me…'

‘Are you…'

‘I work with them. I'm in and out of Syria constantly nowadays.'

‘We are going to Damascus God willing.'

‘You are?'

‘Yes…' Both them are fiddling with their hands in the same way.

‘Yasmine is he the man you love?' I ask her.

Yasmine turns to me shocked.

‘How… How do you…?'

Wisam laughs and I tell her I read her diary. She goes really red again and pinches my arm but it's not like the way she always does. I don't mind her pinching it like this; it doesn't hurt and it feels playful.

‘Can I… Can I come look for you when I come back?'

‘Yes!' Yasmine jumps in again.

I think she is too excited.

Wisam leans in and whispers something into her ear and Yasmine giggles. I want to know what he said.

‘What did he say Yasmine?'

Yasmine doesn't answer and she stares at him as he walks away. He turns around and waves at her and she waves back. She doesn't say anything for a long time. Her eyes look far away.

Yasmine and I wait for the others to get their boxes and queue in another line where they have forms for us to fill in. I don't know what it is about but we queue so we can ask. I really want to open the boxes but Yasmine tells me to wait. We get to the front and ask a Syrian man what the forms are for and he tells us they have spaces for people to go to Turkey but they are only going to take the people in need so everyone has to fill in a form with their age and information. Yasmine fills it out for everybody and we wait at the side and open our boxes.

‘Yasmine, is Turkey nice?'

‘It's just like Syria Habibi, just a different language.'

‘Is it safe Yasmine?'

‘Very safe.'

‘What if they don't pick us?'

‘Aunt Suha invited us over anyway, we will head to Damascus, it's safe there.'

‘I want to go to Damascus too.'

Yasmine smiles and tells me to open my box. I slowly open it because I don't want to ruin the excitement. On the top there is a plastic bag with a tent with instructions inside. I have always wanted to go camping. At least now I have a tent and we don't have to sleep in the open air. Under it there are thin blankets made from a weird material I have never felt before. We have bottles of water and food and bread and shampoo. I am so happy now. This is the best present ever! I want to start fixing my tent.

The Syrian man calls for everyone's attention and starts calling out names for people to walk in front and get into the van. The family in front of us starts crying because only two of them got in. The mother is screaming and crying and her daughter is pulling her into the van.

‘I'll see you soon,' she calls out to her children. The vans start filling up quickly and none of us have been called. I don't think there is any more space for all of us. I don't want us to be separated. The man starts apologising for the lack of seats and a woman comes running up to him, begging him to let her and her family through. She is on her knees kissing his feet. The guy tries to move her away gently and asks for her name. She tells him her name and he says she is not on the list. She falls to the ground again and begs him. He calls for the Turkish people to help and they slowly carry her away. I feel sorry for her.

The man suddenly calls Baba's name and I wait for him to call all of us but he doesn't. Only Baba gets to go through. Tariq puts Baba down now for the first time and stretches.

‘Baba did you hear that?' Yasmine leans down and asks him. Her voice sounds like vanilla ice cream. Yasmine is not sad any more.

‘What?'

‘You're going to be safe again and we will follow you later.'

‘Okay.'

I expected Baba to say more but it must be because he isn't feeling well.

‘Yasmine, are we going to leave Baba alone?'

‘It breaks my heart but we can't carry him the whole way.'

‘But he's Baba.'

‘I know Habibi, but we have to, they didn't call our names.'

I blow Baba a kiss on the forehead and hand and smile at him. I also blow him a kiss on the bags under his eyes and make a small prayer. I pray that I see him again soon so he will remember who I am.

‘Excuse me, is he coming?' the Syrian man comes up to us and asks. Yasmine says ‘yes' and the two Turkish guys behind come with a wheelchair and pick Baba up. They start pushing him away. No, I don't want them to take Baba. My heart becomes black the moment he turns around and they push him away. He is my father, he is meant to stay with me.

‘No Baba, come back!' I run to him and try to stop them. Yasmine and Tariq run after me and try to stop me. Tariq carries me and tells them to take Baba away.

I kick and hit Tariq to let me go but he doesn't. Upside down on Tariq's back, I watch the vans drive away with Baba. The moment they leave I stop doing everything and just give up. My heart hurts me. Baba didn't even say goodbye because he doesn't know what is happening. I wish he had waved. Liquorice squirms in Ali's arms and runs to me.

W
E'VE BEEN WALKING
for 11 sunsets and dawns. My feet have split and bled so many times. The blood is dry now because we slept for the night inside another ruined building. I found it this time. I want to be happy about that but I can't. All colour is gone in my life. I see nothing but grey. Even when I paint my surroundings the only colour I ever need to use is grey. We all sleep inside our tents whenever we find a place that isn't too exposed. I don't close my tent when I sleep. I feel too suffocated. When I am isolated I start to imagine bad things coming out to hurt me. Like snakes and spiders and monsters. The only way I go to sleep every night is by reciting the Quran in my heart. If I don't my mind starts wandering off to far away places and I can't sleep from fear and nostalgia. I told Yasmine what I think about and she said I was nostalgic. That's how I learnt the word. I like the way it sounds. It has three syllables and I like all words with three syllables, like fortunate and lunatic and subsequent. I used to search the Internet for words with three syllables. They always sound the best. I get out of my tent once I notice some light outside and go to my box and take a sip of my water. I have been taking a sip every day just to wet my throat but not finish it any time soon. I don't know when I will be able to drink water next if I finish it all. I have been tempted so many times to just drink it all, my throat itches for it, but I put it in the box and close it before I do something I regret. Every day we walk till we can't any more and most of us vomit and cry from the pain. Yesterday it was Amira and I who vomited and I was crying for us to stop walking and just rest somewhere. Before yesterday it was Ali and Amira. Amira talks to herself most of the way. She laughs and cries and shouts to herself. I don't know who she thinks she is speaking to. But sometimes she turns to us and asks us if we heard what the other person said because she didn't hear it. When she cries it's usually about losing her baby and she sits on the ground and doesn't move. We have to wait until she is calm again for us to walk. Yasmine just wants to get to Damascus as soon as possible. She says we will be safe there. I can't wait. I wish there was an easier way to get there. Yasmine gets up and starts waking everybody up now.

‘Come on, we need to get to Damascus!'

‘How long do we have left Yasmine?'

‘I don't know Adam, long…'

‘I just want to be there.'

‘We all do Habibi. God willing we'll get there soon.'

We all get up and pack our things and start walking while pushing our boxes in front of us. The sun isn't too strong today. I look up at the sky and don't have to squint my eyes too much. We have just entered a new town. It looks really small because I can see the end of the houses, after that the street is empty just like the street we just came from. We walk in and I pray someone from this town will give us some food. I think this is more a village than a town. We walk past three kids running around and throwing stones at each other. It looks like they're having fun but I have never heard of this game before. This makes me think of my friend Nabil and the games we used to play together. Those were really fun.

The kids are laughing while playing so it must be fun. I want to join them now.

‘Can I play with the kids Yasmine?'

‘Don't be silly Adam! You're not a kid!'

I don't say anything and walk on. I am bored of walking. Yasmine knocks on the first house we reach and an old woman answers the door.

‘Yes sister?' Everyone calls each other sister and brother here.

‘We have been walking all the way from Aleppo and we are hungry and tired, do you think we can rest here for a bit?'

The woman looks at all of us and counts us.

‘With pleasure sister but I don't have enough food for all of you, I have children to feed.'

‘I understand, anything will do, we aren't asking for much.'

For the first time since Baba left us I see colour in a person. She is pink. I feel happy that there is still colour in Syria.

‘Come in sister.'

We all go in and sit in the sitting room. The TV is on and they are watching an old Syrian drama that mama used to watch. The woman comes back from the kitchen and gives us all water. She looks at Amira and asks if she is okay.

‘Your face is green.'

‘I lost my baby.'

The woman's face turns green too and she doesn't say anything. She sits next to Yasmine on the sofa and starts telling her about her husband who died in Aleppo. She talks for 20 minutes. Tariq and Khalid are asleep and Amira is playing with Ali's hair with him on her lap. Liquorice is being a good girl and is just lying on my lap. She must be tired. The woman gets up and goes to the kitchen again. Yasmine and I look at each other and laugh quietly. My heart feels like honey is melting inside it. We are safe in a house and Yasmine is laughing.

‘How much can someone talk?' Yasmine whispers.

‘Did you listen to everything?'

‘No, I lost her at her son wanting to be a doctor and he is only five years old!'

‘I didn't even hear that bit!'

Both of us laugh again and the woman comes back in and I go back to being silent. I can't speak to people I meet for the first time. The two little girls that were playing outside are now bringing in two plates of food. The smell fills my mouth with water. I try to remember the last time I ate fresh food but I can't remember. My mind makes a map and I try to trace everything back but all I can think about is that there is food in front of me. I am happy that everyone has their own plate of food otherwise I wouldn't be able to eat. Yasmine wakes Khalid and Tariq up and we all start eating. As I start to get full I look around and can see colour again in everybody's faces. I want to thank this woman for bringing colour back into our lives. I finish eating quickly and take my painting kit out of the bag.

The woman is sitting down watching TV. The moment I start painting she stares at me.

‘He paints all the time,' Yasmine explains to her. The woman doesn't stop staring though. I can't paint with someone staring at me. I want to paint this scene because it looks like a broken rainbow but the woman is disturbing me. I don't know what to do. I turn to the side and start painting again. I paint quickly before everyone finishes their food. I get them all in the painting! I look at it and smile, it looks perfect. I want to show it to Baba.

We leave the house and Yasmine and Amira kiss the woman six times on each cheek and pray for her safety and for God to protect her children. I don't know why women do that. They are not kissing each other's cheeks with their mouths yet they make the kissing sound. It's annoying to watch.

We walk on now and I have so much energy I put my box down and start running.

‘Don't waste your energy Adam! We have a long way!' Yasmine shouts.

‘Do you know the way Yasmine?' I shout back.

‘Yes I do.'

I get back to my box and start walking with all of them now. I am panting from running up and down but it feels good. I have a lot of energy. I have colours buzzing inside me.

A bus drives up and passes us and the people inside are all staring at us. Tariq runs after it and bangs on the side of it. The bus stops and Tariq gets on to speak to the driver. We run to catch up. Tariq then pops his head out of the door and gestures for us to come. We all run. I pick Liquorice up and hide her in the box so they don't take her away from me. Today is starting off very good. I am excited about sitting down on a bus and not having to walk. The driver lets us get on without having to pay. I don't know what Tariq told him but I am glad the guy is kind enough to let us on. There are four spaces at the back where Yasmine, Amira, Ali and I sit and Khalid and Tariq sit in the middle, where they find a seat each. I am so excited. I take Liquorice out of the box and put her on my lap. She is very quiet so it's easy to take her to places. I start jumping up and down on my seat and singing. Yasmine laughs and starts singing with me. This is the best day ever.