The Boy from Aleppo Who Painted the War (25 page)

‘Let's go Adam, I'm scared!'

‘Where are you going to put those?' I point at the clothes in his hands.

‘I don't know!' He puts them down by the white shoe and we run to my tent.

‘What happened Ali?'

‘There was a bomb in the morning at the school, but it wasn't a normal bomb, the people have burn marks all over their bodies.'

‘What bomb could it be then?'

‘I don't know, we all tried to help.'

‘Nobody woke me up!'

‘We all woke up at the same time and rushed to help.'

‘Why is this happening wherever we go?'

‘I don't know, I'm scared, I can't wait to get to Damascus!'

‘Neither can I, I hate the war!'

Ali lies down on his side and closes his eyes. He is purple. I turn the page around and start painting him. If anything happens I hope someone finds these pictures and sees everything we went through.

Ali suddenly wakes up.

‘Let's run away?'

‘Huh?'

‘Let's run away, find a bus and let it take us to Damascus. I don't want to stay here. I am having nightmares. I don't want to die, I miss my family and I dream about them every day, I'm scared.'

I don't know what to say. I'm not good with telling people what they should do or dealing with emotions.

‘Can I paint you?'

‘Okay.'

‘Go back to sleep.'

‘I'm scared.'

‘Just close your eyes.'

I paint Ali but I make one eye very big and sketch the white shoe and bloody white clothes in his eye. The other eye is closed. I think this is my best painting.

‘You can open your eyes.'

‘I'm fine now, I'm thinking of something good…'

‘What are you thinking about?'

‘Damascus, I heard they have a lot of swings and slides.'

‘I heard they have water parks like we see on TV.'

‘Let's go together!'

We both smile and I tell him he's my best friend now.

Yasmine comes into the tent with blood on her face and her clothes.

‘Do any of you have water?'

‘I do Yasmine.'

‘Can I have some?'

‘You can have all of it, it's your turn to drink today.'

She drinks it all quickly like she has a sea monster in her throat who is thirsty for the water.

‘Don't move boys, we'll be back and we'll move. We are close to Damascus. Just another few days.'

‘Really Yasmine?'

‘Really Adam.'

‘I want to eat a lot of food there.'

‘I will make sure you do Habibi, now I have to go nurse the injured people.'

She runs out and I lie down opposite Ali and take the ear out. It is now clean, I think the blood rubbed off in my pocket. There is still dry blood where the ear was cut off but it isn't a lot. I pull it up to my mouth and start whispering about what I dream of doing in Damascus.

*

We leave the city by evening; the sun is starting to set. Everybody looks like they are going to drop on the ground. They are walking like the zombies I saw this morning. I can't wait to get out of this city. I didn't like it the moment I saw the man chasing after the cat. I am glad I have Liquorice with me so nobody can eat her. I have slept all day so I don't want to sleep yet. I am just hungry and thirsty. I start painting in my mind while walking so I don't have to see the war around me. I think of the Nutella-eyed girl and wonder if she is still alive. I hope she is, I want to see her again one day. I paint her eyes in my mind but I can't continue because mama's eyes keep coming into my mind too. Why do mama's eyes always come up when I think of the Nutella-eyed girl?

I have so much to ask and say but Yasmine is holding my hand so tight that it scares me. I don't know where we are going, but I know it's not good. When Yasmine is with me I can smile even when I'm scared. I smile even though I don't have a reason to. Smiling is charity, so I keep smiling till I can't keep hold of my questions.

‘Where… are we going Yasmine?'

I look up at Yasmine but can only see the sun shining in my face. I cough and try to get rid of the dirt in my throat. I see Yasmine's eyes look down at me through the sun. It looks like the sun has eyes. It's looking down at us.

‘Far away from here Habibi.'

We pass by a river and find boats tied to a dock. I have always wanted to ride a boat.

‘Wait here,' Khalid says and runs towards the boats. Tariq runs after him. I wonder what they're thinking.

‘Are you okay Yasmine?'

‘I can't wait to sleep!'

‘I don't want to sleep yet.'

‘You haven't been working all day.'

‘I know I haven't Yasmine.'

She doesn't say anything and turns back around. I don't know why she is upset. I didn't do anything.

Tariq and Khalid come back with huge smiles on their faces and tell us to follow them.

‘Where are we going Khalid?'

‘Just follow…'

We go to the biggest boat on the dock and they tell us to get on. Yasmine laughs and asks if we are actually doing this. She is happy again. She is happy and sad and angry at the same time.

Tariq pushes the door open with his back and it opens quickly and we all go in. The boat has beds in it and a kitchen and a bathroom. I can't believe what I am seeing. My heart is filled with rainbows. I jump up and down and clap my hands and look at Yasmine and give her a huge smile. I am so happy.

‘Thank you Tariq!'

‘No Habibi, thank God!'

‘Thank you God!'

I jump on a bed and roll around on it.

‘We have beds!'

‘I'm sleeping here!' Tariq says pointing at one quickly.

‘I am sleeping here!' Khalid points at the other one and laughs.

‘I already rolled on this bed, it's mine!' I jump in.

Everybody laughs and I get up and run to the bathroom. I actually have a bathroom to go to! I don't need bushes and leaves, I don't need to hide and be scared of insects! Thank you God. ‘There's a shower!' I say loudly and everybody turns and has the same colour pink.

After everybody showers we sit in the middle with the lights on and play I spy. There is actual light. I am so happy. I don't want to leave this place.

‘Are we going to leave tomorrow or are we going to stay Yasmine?'

‘We will leave.'

‘Why? It's perfect!' Tariq jumps in.

‘Damascus is safer, we are in the middle of nowhere and this isn't our boat.'

Nobody says anything to Yasmine. We all have to listen to her.

‘We are close to Damascus right?'

‘Yes, very…'

‘Where's the map Yasmine?'

‘In my box, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.'

‘Do you have to?'

‘Yes I do Habibi, I'll see you in the morning.'

I look at Amira lying down on the ground and notice something wrong with her. Her face looks scrunched up like a piece of paper. Is she in pain?

‘What's wrong Amira?'

She looks at me and her eyes look yellow.

‘Nothing.'

She is holding her stomach really tight. Does she still think she is pregnant?

I notice dry blood on her fingers.

I walk towards her and sit by her. She doesn't look my way.

‘Amira, you're bleeding!'

She looks at me and lifts one of her hands up and pushes me away.

Everybody looks at us now and Ali jumps up and comes to us.

‘Amira, did you get hurt?' Ali asks.

‘My baby is begging me to take him out.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘I need to take my baby out!'

‘Amira you don't have a baby!' I shout. I don't know what else to say. I can see more blood coming out of her stomach. I think she stabbed herself.

‘Did you stab yourself?'

‘I wanted to take my baby out!' she shouts and tries to get up. She pushes herself up but her body won't let her move.

‘Stay down Amira!' I run to the bathroom to get some tissues and notice scissors on the sink with blood on them. Everything makes sense now. I run to Amira and put the tissue on her stomach and see it soak up in seconds. I think it's very deep. I can't see under her shirt but the bleeding is a lot. There is a door in the middle of the boat and Yasmine is on the other side sleeping. I open the door quickly and wake Yasmine up. Her eyes are half closed and she looks upset.

‘Amira is bleeding!'

‘Not again!'

‘She stabbed herself.'

‘What?' Now she jumps up.

Yasmine never gets to rest, I feel sorry for her but none of us know what to do. Khalid and Tariq are sitting outside the boat. I don't know what they're doing.

‘Amira what did you do?'

Amira looks up at Yasmine and doesn't say anything. Her face is green and purple. The colours together make me feel like snakes are slithering inside of me. I shiver from how disgusting it is.

‘Boys get me water and tissues.'

We get up and get them and Amira starts screaming. What is Yasmine doing to her? Is Amira going to be okay?

‘Here you go Yasmine.'

Yasmine now starts cleaning the wound under Amira's shirt and I can see how deep it is. Why doesn't Amira understand that she's not pregnant?

‘I don't know, I don't know! I have no equipment!'

‘Who are you talking to Yasmine?' I ask.

‘Myself! Myself! All of you drive me crazy! Problem after problem!'

I didn't do anything to upset Yasmine, why am I everyone?

‘She's bleeding a lot,' Ali says. Khalid and Tariq walk in and ask what's wrong. Nobody answers so I tell them what happened.

‘Oh Lord!'

‘Is Amira going to be okay?'

‘I don't know Adam, what she did isn't simple.'

‘But she is going to be okay right?'

‘Adam, you're always asking the same questions!' Khalid gets annoyed and I start spitting on the floor.

‘No Adam!'

I continue spitting because I don't like people shouting.

‘Adam, calm down Habibi.' Khalid leans down to me.

I don't want him to shout at me so I spit to show him I am angry.

‘Adam we discussed spitting a long time ago and you stopped, don't get back into it.'

‘I want to go home!'

‘Shut up both of you! The girl is dying. What do I do?'

‘I can't deal with blood,' Khalid and Tariq both say at the same time. Yasmine gives them a dirty look like she wants to swallow them with her eyes.

Amira shouts God's name and starts crying.

‘Take my baby out, I don't mind dying,' she sobs.

‘Habibi, I am doing my best, you are bleeding too much and I have nothing and we are in the middle of nowhere.'

‘Can you save my baby?'

‘I will, you just rest!'

Amira closes her eyes and she is smiling. I know that Yasmine is lying to her but I don't know why. My head starts hurting me like someone is knocking inside. I close my eyes and bite on my tongue so hard it hurts. I go to the bathroom and take out the ear in my pocket and speak to it about Amira. Is she going away from us too? I find soap on the sink and pick it up and smear it on the wall and play around with it. It smells nice, like flowers are growing inside. I hum a song that Baba used to sing in the morning over breakfast. I still think about him leaving us all the time. I wonder if he is still with us or went to mama? I don't know who he loves more. He has been calling out mama's name a lot lately so it scares me that he wants to go to her. I smear the soap harder on the walls.

‘Adam get out of there, I need to use the bathroom!' Tariq knocks on the door.

‘One second.'

I put the ear back in my pocket and get out of the bathroom. Tariq goes in and as I walk away he comes out again and shouts my name. Pigeons come out of his mouth. I don't like pigeons, which means I won't like what he is going to say.

‘Did you do this Adam?'

‘Do what?'

‘Put the soap on the wall!'

I did it because it was fun. I don't want to get into trouble for it. I put my head down and don't say anything.

‘Go in and clean it up.'

‘How?'

‘You figure it out!'

I start banging my feet on the floor and shouting.

‘Adam stop! Don't try that with me!'

I don't say anything and continue to bang my feet. I don't like this.

‘STOP IT!' Yasmine shouts and I freeze in place. My heart stops. I am scared of Yasmine.

‘She's dying and you're crying! How many things can I deal with at once?'

‘I'm dying?' Amira whispers.

‘Close your eyes Habibi, you're not feeling well.'

‘I feel like my baby is slowly coming out! I am having cramps.'

Yasmine's face looks hopeless. If Yasmine loses hope we won't stand together. She is our glue.

‘Shall I push harder?' Amira breathes heavily. This is all confusing. The colour in her face is fading away like a shaved lemon.

‘Just relax, your baby will come out on its own.'

I get up and walk off of the boat. Everyone is shouting, upset and angry with me. I want to jump into the water. I just showered and smell nice and I think the water is dirty but I want to feel free. I want to feel free. I jump into the water with my clothes on and feel my body shrink from the cold. I laugh and jump up and down in the water. The boat moves up and down slowly because there is movement inside. I lie on my back in the water and watch the boat go up and down. I wish I could live here. After the war I want to come back and live here. I flap my hands up and down in the water and start putting it in my mouth and spitting it out. I love being in the water.

‘Adam come back in! It's dark,' Ali calls out for me.

‘I don't want to!'

‘Yasmine told me to tell you!'

I quickly climb the ladder, get dressed and follow Ali.