The Broken Hearts Book Club (24 page)

My blood froze in my veins and time seemed to stand still for a moment. I willed my brain to cobble together an answer, but it didn’t.

‘Yes… no… let me explain…’

Denise straightened up to her full height, which was all of five feet, and stared hard at me, waiting for an answer.

‘Well?’

‘No, I promise it was never about that! Nana Lily’s will might’ve made me come to that first meeting, but it’s not the reason I wanted to become chairwoman. When I heard your stories, I realised this wasn’t just about keeping a cottage. It was about helping an amazing bunch of people to get past their grief and be happy again. Because you guys deserve so much more than what you have, you really do. As much as I love Rose Cottage, it doesn’t matter any more. I care about you guys and about helping you get the lives you deserve to be living.’

The members walked out in a chorus of murmurs, probably calling for me to be removed from the club as soon as possible.

When I got home that night, I flicked through the pile of mail on the hall table to see if there was anything interesting. I found an ivory envelope addressed to me and tore it open to find an invitation to Rachel and Jake’s going away party.

‘Great,’ I said to nobody in particular. ‘What a lovely kick in the teeth that is!’

I was about to throw it away when I saw something scribbled on the back in Jake’s recognisable scrawl. It said
Meet me on the back deck, 7pm.

Chapter Twenty-Two

As per Jake’s instructions, I snuck round to the back of The Purple Partridge and waited for him on the deck. I kept as out of sight as I possibly could; I guessed Rachel probably wouldn’t be happy to see me.

Just then, I heard footsteps on the deck. Jake stepped out, hands dug deep into his dark jeans pockets and his light blue shirt buttoned up slightly skew-whiff.

‘Hey.’

‘All right?’

I’d decided, before coming over, to adopt an icy persona. After all, here was the man who’d told me he definitely wouldn’t get back with his ex then kissed her in front of a pub full of people.

‘Thanks for coming. I wasn’t sure you would.’

‘I almost didn’t,’ I admitted. ‘But I thought I’d better at least hear you out.’

We stood in silence for a moment, unsaid things whispering around us. It was a competition to see which of us would break the silence first.

‘How’s the book club going? Sorry I didn’t come to another meeting. It was a bit difficult after… Well after everything.’

‘It was going well until they found out I hadn’t been entirely honest about Nana Lily’s will. I left out the part where she said I had to run the club for three months to inherit Rose Cottage and now they’re not speaking to me. Apart from that, it’s going OK. I’ve managed to help everyone except Diane. Cath and Frank are dating, Jean’s got a dog and Denise is doing a skydive with her husband in memory of her daughter. I’m going to try and find a way to help Diane too, but she’s a tough one to crack. That’s assuming she lets me into another meeting again!’

He nodded and smiled. ‘That’s pretty good going. I’m sure once they calm down, they’ll see that you weren’t just using them to get the cottage. Anyone can tell you really care about them. What book are you going to choose for the next meeting?’

‘Jake, I know you didn’t bring me out here to ask about the book club, so why don’t you tell me what you really want?’

Oh God please don’t burst out into Wannabe!

Too late. My mouth opened, my lips parted and out came the lyrics to
Wannabe
, including Mel B’s rap.
There goes my icy persona
, I thought.

Jake watched, looking begrudgingly impressed. When I finished, I discovered he’d been trying to hide a fit of the giggles so powerful it made him bend in half.

‘That was some bloody performance Luce! Is this what you were like at your nana’s funeral?’

I nodded as my cheeks turned crimson. ‘Yup, pretty much! Except I sang Joni Mitchell there, not Spice Girls.’

‘Well I’ve got to say that was every bit as special as I imagined it would be! Thanks for that Lucy.’

‘Glad to be of service! I reckon that cements my status as the worst singer in Yorkshire.’

Our laughter subsided and the tone immediately changed. We both knew we weren’t here to indulge in some light-hearted banter. We were here to pick over the ruins of our relationship, though I didn’t exactly know why. I wasn’t sure what else there was left to say, but Jake clearly felt differently. A look up into his eyes didn’t reveal anything. He was keeping his reason for asking me here close to his chest.

‘So you’re really leaving then?’ I said with a sigh. I leaned on the deck and stared down at the beach below us. Saying the words out loud made everything seem real, instead of some bad dream I could shake myself out of. The first man I’d ever really cared about was moving away and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt my heart wrench and as I wondered whether to leave, I caught sight of the pleading look on his face. There was no way I could leave until this conversation was over.

‘Yup, Rachel starts her new job in less than a week, so we’re going to go over a couple of days beforehand to get settled. The hotel Rachel’s going to be working at needs bar staff, so I’ve at least got a chance of a job. Pub’s going on the market soon too; I spoke to an estate agent and he said despite the state the books are in, we should be able to sell quite quickly. That’ll be the money problems solved anyway.’ He looked out at the sea and began chewing on his bottom lip. ‘I’ll really miss it around here.’

Then, as though he realised he’d let his cheerful bravado slip, he stuck a fake smile onto his face and said ‘Oh well, onwards and upwards eh?’

I joined him at the railing and leaned on it, watching the sea gently lap in and out. It was such a peaceful sight to see. No matter what happened or how bad things seemed, the sea just carried on regardless.

‘So how
are
things with you and Rachel?’ I instantly regretted asking.

‘Yeah good.’ Jake didn’t sound convincing at all. ‘We’re still trying to figure things out and there’s been a few bumps along the way, but we’re getting there. She’s really looking forward to the move to Spain.’

‘You must be happy to be back with her.’ Although I tried to hide the bitterness in my voice, it came shining through anyway. ‘It came as a bit of a shock since, you know, you told me you’d fallen for me and wouldn’t get back with Rachel. Then the next minute, you’re kissing her in front of the whole pub. That was lovely.’

He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed, ‘You should never have had to see it. That was a dickish thing to do. I don’t love her, not like I love you Lucy. But what can I do? We can’t be together if I’m in Spain and you’re here; you said so yourself. I want you to know, I’m not going for Rachel; I’m going for Maya. She’s had so much upheaval with Rachel and me splitting up and this is the only way I can stay in her life.’

I nodded, trying to keep my emotions at bay. It felt like I was being split right down the middle: half of me applauded him for sacrificing what he wanted to build a stable family unit for Maya, but the other half wanted him to abandon all his plans and stay with me. Catch-22 situation indeed. I knew the right thing was to let him go, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

‘Are you happy?’

His head turned sharply in my direction. ‘What are you asking that for? Of course I am!’

‘You don’t look it, Jake. If I’m being honest, you look fucking miserable.’

‘Yeah well I’m fine OK? In fact, I’m better than fine.’

He turned to walk back inside, his fists clenched and sadness seeping from every inch of him. The thought of him not being around any more tore me apart, but he was leaving to be in his daughter’s life. There was no way I could get in the way of that.

‘Why did you ask me here?’ I asked for the second time that day.

His body twisted round to face mine. ‘What?’

‘Before I burst into song again, you were going to tell me what you’d really asked me out here for. What was it?’

Jake shook his head. ‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter now.’

‘You’ve got nothing to lose,’ I said, ‘so you may as well tell me.’

His hands disappeared inside his pockets and the lip chewing started. For a moment, he paced around the deck before coming to a stop right in front of me.

‘I wanted to see you one more time. Despite all the shit that’s happened between us, I still care about you.’

His hand reached out but he stopped just short of lacing his fingers with mine. All my instincts told me this was a bad idea and would only lead to trouble, but I didn’t let go.

‘I’ll miss you,’ he whispered, tenderly caressing my hand. ‘I hope you find someone who makes you happy. You deserve it.’

My heart was making a dramatic bid for freedom by trying to burst through my ribcage.

‘Yeah maybe. I-I hope you’re happy with Rachel too. I bet Maya will love the sun! Remember when we took her to the beach?’

He nodded. ‘Yeah and you helped her make the princess castle.’

I blinked back some tears. ‘That was some princess castle.’

I badly wanted to reach out for him, wrap my arms around him and never let him go. But what good would it do? I’d let him go and now I was getting what I deserved.

***

The goodbye party was in full swing as I snuck through the pub on my way home. There was laughter, food and music and plenty of people to congratulate the happy couple on their exciting new plans.

Before I could reach the door, Elle grabbed me and pulled me over to the table she was at with George.

‘Where have you been?! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.’

‘Oh nowhere. Listen, I’m not feeling well, I’m going home.’

I hadn’t told my best friends about meeting Jake. They’d only insist on coming with me for moral support and end up adding their two pence worth into the discussion.

Elle’s mouth dropped open. ‘You can’t leave yet, we’ve got loads of fun to have! Come on, I’ll get you a drink and George will go to the buffet and get you a plate.’

With that, they made their way into the pub to get me what they thought I needed. I looked around myself. Jake was back behind the bar and doing what he did best: showing off his arm muscles and charming the punters. Moments later, Rachel joined him and snaked her arms around his waist, letting the whole world know he was hers.

As I stared at what had once been mine for the taking, I felt a weight drop into my stomach. It killed me to see him with someone who wasn’t me. I’d had a beautiful taste of what true love could be like, but thrown it away when things got a little bit tough.

Typical Lucy Harper.

I’d kidded myself into thinking Luna Bay had changed me. That, all of a sudden, my propensity to run away when things looked like they might get rough had just disappeared. My handling of the situation with Jake proved that I was the same girl from eight years ago. I’d just gained a stone and lost my love for Shayne Ward.

Nobody could’ve seen it coming.

She wasn’t that remarkable-looking, so she didn’t stand out in the crowd. Plus the pub was so busy with revellers wanting to join in the cocktail party celebrations.

Who’d have noticed her in amongst the melee? Not me anyway.

Maggie Cunningham managed to take the inside stage and grab the microphone without anybody batting an eyelid. Out on the deck, the bands were just switching over, so there was no background noise apart from general chatter.

‘Good evening everyone. Hope you’re all having a jolly good time.’ Her voice had a noticeable slur in it and the whiff of vodka hit those nearest to her like a sucker punch.

‘Some of you might know the
delightful
Lucy Harper, who moved back here recently after a few years in London. Since she’s come back, she’s spent her time sprinkling her very own brand of fairy dust over Luna Bay and just generally being an all-round Little Miss Perfect. I’m here tonight to tell you a few things you might not know about this village’s answer to Pollyanna.’

I stared wildly around myself, dreading what would happen if my secrets came pouring out. The Broken Hearts Book Club and some other residents already knew about the Vicky thing, but I couldn’t bear the thought of the whole village knowing. Knowing Maggie, she’d probably twist the true events beyond recognition to make me look even worse.

‘The wonderful Princess Lucy is a Luna Bay girl through and through, you see. She was born here, raised here
and
she’s ruined lives here too!’ Maggie laughed manically and bent forward. ‘Whose lives have been ruined by her, I hear you ask? Well, how about we start with my daughter Vicky?’

Murmurs circulated the room and I could feel a heat working its way through my body, tingeing my skin a lurid crimson.

‘Maggie, don’t do this!’ I pleaded. ‘It won’t change things or make them any better.’

‘Ah, see, that’s where you’re wrong! If I expose you for the rancid little bitch you are, I’ll feel
a million
times better. If it drives you away from Luna Bay, all the better.’

Maggie reached into her bag and pulled out a photo of Vicky and me, taken on the night of the accident.

‘My Vicky was an amazing, talented girl who was going to study to be a nurse after her gap year. She had dreams and hopes and plans for the future. What does she have now? Nothing. She had everything in front of her and now she has sod all. Her life is now in tatters and it’s all Lucy Harper’s fault!’

She pointed at me, just in case anybody had any doubts as to who had ruined her daughter’s life.

‘She plied Vicky with alcohol and this led to her going up on the roof of their school. She fell and in an instant, her dreams and plans were wiped out. Thanks to Miss Harper’s actions, my daughter won’t have a life. It was cruelly taken away from her.’

My worst nightmare unfolded in front of me: people were staring at me and whispers were flying around the room. I could tell what they were all thinking, regardless of whether they’d known about the Vicky thing before: why is she here, we don’t want her here. All I could see when I looked around me were open mouths, wide eyes, suspicious stares. They’d only heard Maggie’s heavily distorted version of events.