The Call of the Desert (17 page)

“I want you to know that I’m not saying this now because of the crash, or because of the after effects of adrenalin and shock. I had arranged for us to go to the summer palace this evening, for a belated honeymoon. You can ask Sara. She was organising it.”

“Kaden …” Julia said weakly. She couldn’t look away from the dark intensity of his eyes.

He took a deep, audibly shaky breath. “I love you, Julia. Mind, body, heart and soul. And I always have. From the moment we met in the middle of that dig. I did a wonderful job of convincing myself twelve years ago that I hadn’t ever loved you, but as soon as I saw you again the game was up … and eventually I had to stop lying to myself.”

Julia looked at Kaden in shock. She could hear her heart thumping. Her mouth opened.

Kaden shook his head and said, “Don’t say anything—not yet. Let me finish.”

Julia couldn’t have spoken, even if she’d wanted to. Her mouth closed. She could feel the babies moving in her belly, but that was secondary to what was happening right now.

“The day you left twelve years ago was possibly the
worst day of my life.” He winced. “Barring today’s events. I felt as if I was being torn in two—like Jekyll and Hyde. For a long time I blamed the grief I felt on my father’s death—and that was there, yes. But a larger part of my grief was for you. There’s something I have to explain. When we returned from that last trip to the desert I went to my father. I told him that I was going to ask you to marry me. All I could think about was you—you filled up my heart and soul like nothing I’d ever imagined, and I couldn’t imagine not being with you for ever.”

Julia could feel herself go pale as she remembered that heady time. And then her confusion when Kaden had abandoned her. She shook her head. “But why did you not come to see me? Tell me this …?”

Kaden’s jaw clenched. “Because that night my father had his first heart attack. Only those closest to him knew how serious it was. We sent out the news that he wasn’t well, but we hid the gravity of the situation for fear of panicking the people. I became acting ruler overnight. I was constantly surrounded by aides. I couldn’t move two steps without being questioned or followed. And I suspect that after what I’d told my father he instructed his aides to keep an eye on me and not let me near you.

“I think he saw history repeating itself. His second wife had been a bad choice, unpopular with the people. He knew how important it would be for me to marry well and create a stable base, and here I was declaring my intention to ask
you
to marry me and to hell with the consequences.”

Kaden sighed. “I stuck to my guns. I was still determined to ask you to marry me. I decided that while you
were finishing your studies I’d give you the time to think about whether or not you really wanted this life …”

Julia felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes. She knew how she would have answered that.

Kaden’s voice was gruff. “The first chance I had I got away on my own and went to find you. One of your tutors told me you were all out that night in a bar …”

Julia squeezed Kaden’s hand, willing him to believe her. “You have to know what you saw meant nothing … it was just a stupid kiss. It was over the moment it started. I was feeling insecure because I hadn’t heard from you, and I think I wanted to assure myself that you couldn’t be the only man who could make me feel. I was afraid we were over and I’d never see you again.”

To Julia’s intense relief Kaden picked up her hand and kissed her palm. “I know that now … and I can see how vulnerable you must have felt—especially so soon after that blow from your birth mother …” He grimaced. “I, however, was blindingly jealous and hot-headed. It felt like the ultimate betrayal. Especially when I’d been pining for you for what felt like endless nights, dreaming of proposing to you even if it meant going against my father’s wishes. And then to see you in another man’s arms … it was too much. The jealousy was overwhelming. I’d been brought up to view romantic love suspiciously. My father became a shadow of himself after my mother died, and he never stopped telling me that my duty was first and foremost to my country. He was most likely trying to protect me … but when I felt so betrayed by you it only seemed to confirm his words. I convinced myself that it wasn’t love I felt. It was lust. Because then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Kaden shook his head. “I returned to the palace and
that night my father had his final heart attack. I got to him just before he slipped away, and his last words to me were pleas to remember that I was responsible for a country now, and had to look beyond my own personal fulfilment. By then I was more than ready to listen to him.”

“Oh, Kaden … I had no idea.” Pain cut through Julia as she saw how the sequence of events had played out with a kind of sickening synchronicity.

Kaden let her hands go and stood up, pacing away from Julia, self-disgust evident in every jerky movement. He turned round and looked haunted. “When you came to me before you left and tried to explain you got the full lash of my guilt and jealousy. I couldn’t be rational. All I could see was you and that man. It haunted me even when we met again. The depth of the feelings I had for you always scared me a little, and I never resolved them years ago. I buried them, and that’s why it took me so long to come to my senses …”

Julia felt incredibly sad. “We were so young, Kaden. Maybe we were just too young to cope with those feelings.”

Kaden raked a hand through his hair. “That’s why Samia looked at you with such hostility at her wedding. She was protecting me because she was the only one who saw the dark place I went to after you left. I never explained anything to her, so she assumed you’d broken my heart. When in fact I did a pretty good job of breaking yours.”

“And your own …” Julia bit her lip to try and keep a lid on the overwhelming feelings within her. Tears blurred her vision, and despite her best efforts a sob broke free.

Kaden was standing apart, hands clenched at his sides, looking tortured.

She shook her head. “I just … I can’t believe you’re saying all this …” Another sob came out and she put a hand to her mouth. Tears were flowing freely down her face now.

Kaden clearly wanted to comfort her, but was holding back because he didn’t know if she wanted him. “God, Julia … I’m so sorry. What I’ve done is—”

“Kaden, don’t say anything else. Just hold me, please.”

Julia wasn’t even sure if her words had been entirely coherent, but Kaden moved forward jerkily, and after a moment he was sitting on the bed and enveloping her in his strong embrace.

Julia’s hands were clenched against his chest. She couldn’t stop crying, and kept thinking of all those wasted years and pain. Ineffectually she hit at his chest, and he tensed and pulled her even closer, as if to absorb her turmoil. Eventually he drew back and looked down, his face in agony. Seeing that made something dissolve inside Julia.

“Don’t let me go, Kaden …”

He shook his head and said fiercely, “Never. I’ll never let you go ever again.”

When the paroxysm of emotion had abated Julia pulled back in the circle of his arms and said shakily, “I’ve always loved you. I never stopped. You and no one else. From the moment I saw you again in London all the feelings rushed back as if we’d never even been separated.”

Kaden shook his head, clearly incredulous. “How can you? After everything … You don’t have to say this …

You don’t want to be here. You’ve been forced into this life.”

Julia touched his face and smiled tremulously. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. I was resigned to my fate, loving you while knowing you’d never love me back.”

Kaden’s eyes shone suspiciously. “Oh, my love … that’s what
I
expected. I love you so much that if anything had happened to you today …”

He went pale again, and the full enormity of what Kaden had gone through hit Julia when she thought of how
she
would have felt if their places had been switched.

Fervently she said, “Let’s go home, Kaden. I want to go home with you and start living the rest of our lives together. I don’t want to waste another moment.”

Seven months later

J
ULIA
and Kaden were hosting a christening for their twins and for Samia and Sadiq’s baby son, who was just a few weeks younger than the twins. The ceremony had finished in the ancient chapel in the grounds of the archaeological dig site. Julia was standing with Samia now, and they were watching Kaden cradle his dark-haired baby daughter Rihana with all the dexterity of a natural. His brother-in-law Sadiq was holding his son Zaki with similar proficiency.

Samia and Julia’s first proper meeting had been awkward, but as soon as Kaden had set Samia straight she’d rounded on him and castigated him for letting her think the worst of Julia for years. Now they were fast becoming good friends.

“No doubt they’re discussing the merits of ecofriendly nappies,” Samia said dryly.

Julia snorted. “Kaden nearly fainted earlier when he smelt Tariq’s morning deposit.”

Samia giggled and linked arms with Julia. They’d just been made godmothers to each other’s babies. “Come on—let me introduce you properly to Iseult and Jamilah. You’ll love them. Jamilah, the dark-haired one, is Salman’s wife. She’s got an inner beauty to match her outer beauty, which makes it annoyingly hard to hate her.”

Julia chuckled. She’d only been briefly introduced to Sheikh Nadim of Merkazad and his stunningly pretty red-haired wife, and his brother Salman and
his
wife Jamilah. Both couples also had babies, who were crawling or toddling around, being chased by one or other of their parents.

Just as they approached the other women, though, Kaden cut in and handed Rihana to Samia. “Here you go, Auntie. I’m stealing my wife for a minute.”

Samia took her baby niece eagerly. “Be careful—you might not get her back. And I think Tariq has already been stolen by Dr Assan.”

They’d made Dr Assan their son’s godfather, and he was showing him off like a proud grandfather.

Kaden took Julia’s hand and led her out through a side door. He was dressed in gold and cream ceremonial robes, and Julia wore a cream silk dress. She let herself be led by Kaden through the shade of the old trees to the other side of the dig, feeling absurdly happy and content.

Kaden glanced back and smiled. “What are you looking so smug about?”

Julia smiled mysteriously, her heart full. “Oh, nothing much.”

Kaden growled. “I’ll make you tell me later, but first …”

They’d reached the corner, and Julia recognised the spot where they’d first met. Kaden brought her over to the ancient wall, and it took a moment before she could see what he was directing her attention to. A new stone had been placed amongst the older ones, and it held within it a fossil and an inscription.

She gasped and looked at him. “That’s not the same fossil—?”

He smiled. “Read the writing.”

She did. The inscription simply read:
For my wife and only love, Julia. You hold my heart and soul, as I will hold yours, for ever. Kaden

It also had the date of the day they’d met. She looked at Kaden, feeling suspiciously teary, and saw that he was holding out his palm. She looked down and saw a familiar chain of gold. Her necklace. She picked it up reverently.

He sounded gruff. “I got it mended after that night.”

Julia’s eyes had filled with proper tears now, and Kaden said mock sternly, with his hands cupping her face and jaw, “I won’t have tears marking this spot.”

Julia smiled through the tears. “Kiss me, then, and make me happy.”

“That,” Kaden said, with love in his eyes and on his face, “I can most definitely do.”

And so they kissed, for a long time, on the exact spot where they’d first met almost thirteen years before.

All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

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First published in Great Britain 2011
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited.
Harlequin (UK) Limited, Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road,
Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

© Abby Green 2011

ISBN: 978-1-408-92637-6