As Kim and Cate arrived home, Kim asked if they could talk. They sat on the couch and Kim began, “Cate, I wanted to talk to you about–”
“About what?”
“Cate, I’m sorry, but sometimes I’m jealous of you and David and…Sarah.
“Jealous of me?”
“Yes, jealous of you.”
The look on Kim’s face revealed the extent of her jealousy, and Cate wondered if she
had
noticed something. “But, you don’t have to be.”
“I know. It’s crazy. I know you have Matthew, but sometimes I…”
“Kim–”
“Cate, I know you and David have been friends for years. And, and, if you had wanted to be with him, you would be. Right?”
Before Cate could answer, Kim answered for her, “Of course, that’s right, so you must not want him.” Kim seemed comforted by answering her own question.
Cate breathed a sigh of relief that she was not going to have to answer, but it didn’t last.
With a puzzled look, Kim looked her straight in the eye, “Why don’t you want him? He’s a great guy.”
“Yes, he is, but Matthew’s a great guy too.” Cate hoped her answer would cause Kim to drop the interrogation, but it didn’t.
“Cate, when you first arrived, I sensed there was something more than friendship between you and David. Was I wrong?”
Her tone revealed that she wanted Cate to tell her that she was. She needed reassurance so Cate decided to tell her about her divorce. “Kim, I’m going to tell you something because I think you need to know.”
“Okay...”
“I’m divorced. Even if I was interested in David, it couldn’t go anywhere.”
Shocked and relieved, Kim asked, “I’m sure David knows, but does Matthew?”
“Yes, he does.”
Kim narrowed her eyes, “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“It’s not something I’m proud of. My husband left me for another woman.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
Cate shrugged, “Me too, but you see now why you shouldn’t be worried about me and David.”
“Yeah, but I still have a problem. I don’t know what to do about Sarah.”
“What do you mean?”
“While you were away, visiting your parents, I stayed with her while David was on a trip.”
“And…”
“And,” Kim sighed, “all she did was talk about you.”
“Did you read with her and do the things she likes?”
“Sure, I did, but evidently I didn’t do it like you do.”
“I’m sorry. I—”
“Cate, I don’t know what to do. That little girl loves you like she loved Jenny.”
Cate heard Kim’s frustration, “Kim, I’m sorry that my relationship with Sarah is causing you problems, but I’m not sorry that she and I have a close relationship.”
“I know, I sound awful don’t I, but I don’t mean too. I love David and I want Sarah to love
me
.”
Even though she knew Kim expected to marry David and become Sarah’s mother, Cate was startled by actually hearing her say it. She worked hard to hide her true feelings.
“Cate, how did you get so close to Sarah after Jenny died?”
“I was just kind to her, and loved her.”
“I can do that,” Kim said.
Cate reached out and patted Kim’s knee, “Sure, you can.”
As those words filled the air, Cate was tangled up inside.
I can’t believe I’m helping Kim marry David and become Sarah’s mother.
“Thanks, I feel better now,” Kim said.
Cate masked her feelings, “You’re welcome.”
The phone rang and Kim answered. “Hello–Oh hi, David–Do I want to go with you to the village?–Matthew said that I could?–Dr. and Mrs. Patterson?–Of course, I want to go–When will we leave?–How long?–Sure, I’ll let her know–Bye, darling.”
Kim hung up the phone, her body radiating excitement, “I get to go to the village with David, and Dr. and Mrs. Patterson.”
“That’s wonderful,” Cate said, “what about Matthew? Isn’t he going?”
“He told David that because I led the
Jivaro
man to Christ, he thought that I deserved to go. He would cover my classes if I wanted to go.”
“That’s great,” Cate was envious.
“Oh, one more thing, David wanted to know if you’d stay with Sarah.”
“Of course, I’d be glad to.”
At this point, for Cate, the trouble in paradise was that Kim was about to leave for several days on a mission trip with David,
While I stay home with the baby.
Even though she did not want to be, Cate was jealous.
Oh God
, Cate prayed.
Please help me with this
.
Twenty
During the preparations for the trip, Cate and Kim saw very little of David. However, he did call Kim to make sure that she understood what she should take on the trip.
Once more, Cate had to deal with her feelings of jealousy and envy. She kept talking to God about it, and admitting to Him that she wished that she could be in Kim’s place concerning David. She envied the fact that Kim could have a future with David while she could not, and she was jealous of the fact that Kim could say she loved David, while she could not.
Oh, Lord
, Cate prayed.
This is the same old battle. Please help me. Please dear God take my feelings for David away.
God didn’t take her feelings away, but He did provide the grace for her to deal with the envy and jealousy. She was able to watch Kim flit around the house singing and preparing for the trip, while she prepared to stay with Sarah.
The day came for the departure to the
Jivaro
village, and after prayer and appropriate goodbyes, David, and the others loaded their Land Rover and drove away. Matthew, Cate, Sarah, Miss Janet, and Mrs. Garcia waved until they were out of sight.
“I hope they find a lot of open hearts when they get to the village,” Miss Janet said.
“Yeah, me too,” Matthew agreed.
Knowing the power of prayer, Cate added, “Well, we can help by praying.”
Matthew put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her, “You’re exactly right.”
Sarah slid her hand in Cate’s and said, “I can pray too.”
Miss Janet patted Sarah’s head, “You sure can.”
“
Si
, little one, you can pray,” Mrs. Garcia added. “Would you like a snack,
mi bambina
?”
“
Si, Señora Garcia, gracias
” Sarah pulled her hand from Cate’s and followed Mrs. Garcia into the house.
As she watched them enter the house, Miss Janet observed, “She’s such a wonderful little girl.”
“Yes, she is,” Matthew and Cate agreed.
Miss Janet wiped at her eye, “Jenny would be so proud of her.”
Cate turned to look back into the house, “Yes, she would.”
Miss Janet asked, “Did you know Jenny well?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Jenny was a great person,” Matthew said.
Cate thought back to those earlier times, “Yes, she was. I liked her very much.”
“I still miss her. I’m sure David does too,” Miss Janet replied.
“Yes, he does, but unfortunately that’s the past, and now, he’s trying to look forward, to the future,” Matthew said.
Miss Janet knew what he was implying, “Yes, he is. Maybe he and Kim will have a future together.”
A moment of silence fell over the small group. Matthew was the first to speak, “Well, ladies, I hate to leave such good company, but I need to go to the school and take care of some correspondence. Unfortunately, it will not wait until tomorrow.”
Miss Janet looked at Cate, “I need to get home too. I have to finish lesson plans for school tomorrow.”
Cate knew that Miss Janet was beginning to teach from a new literature book, and commiserated with her. “I guess it
is
difficult to teach from a new literature book.”
Miss Janet smiled at Matthew as she answered, “Well, it’s not
too
bad. It’s that boss of mine that’s the problem.”
Cate made an appropriate face at Matthew. “I know what you mean.”
“Well, I
could
look for two new teachers,” Matthew said.
Miss Janet winked at Cate, “Yes, we know, but you couldn’t get two as good as us.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Matthew teased.
“
I’m
sure, and even if you could replace me, I know you couldn’t replace Cate. Matthew, I think it’s time I told you something.”
“And, what might that be?”
Miss Janet nodded toward Cate, “You were very wise when you hired her. She’s a wonderful teacher and a fine young woman. Our school is lucky to have her,”
“I know it,” Matthew responded, “I’m glad someone besides me recognizes it.”
Red-faced with embarrassment, Cate offered a, “Thank you.”
Miss Janet saw Cate’s embarrassment, “Cate, I meant what I said. And, Kim and I are lucky to have you as a roommate.”
“Thank you, Miss Janet. You’re very kind.
“She is very kind,” Matthew said, as he winked at Miss Janet. “But, she’s also right.”
Cate gave a mock curtsey, “Thank you, kind sir.”
“You don’t take compliments well. Do you?” Matthew asked.
“I guess you could say that.”
“You need to work on that,” Matthew winked, “I’m sure you’re going to hear a lot more as long as I’m around.”
“Sweet boy, isn’t he?” Miss Janet said.
“Yes, he is,” Cate answered, with a smile and a blush.
Matthew accepted the compliment, “I’m sorry, but this sweet boy really does need to go, correspondence will not take care of itself.”
“Nor, will my lesson plans,” Miss Janet agreed.
“Well, I am sorry to lose such good company, but I understand,” Cate said.
“Miss Janet, could this sweet boy walk you home?”
“That would be lovely.”
“Well, I guess it really is goodbye, then,” Matthew hugged Cate and gave her a little peck on the check.
Miss Janet waved to Cate, “Goodbye dear. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Miss Janet took Matthew’s arm and they began their walk down the street.
Cate went in the house to see what Mrs. Garcia and Sarah were doing. Sarah was still having her snack, and Mrs. Garcia was busy preparing dinner. Cate reminded Sarah of her nap time. “Well, Baby Girl, isn’t it about time for your
siesta
?”
“
Si, Señorita
,” Sarah answered.
“Are you finished with your snack?”
“
Si
.”
“Well, let’s go take a nap then.”
“Are you going to take a nap too?” Sarah asked.
“I just might. Mrs. Garcia, do you need me to help you do anything?”
“No, Miss Cate. I am fine. Why don’t you take a
siesta
too?”
Cate and Sarah went to the guest room, which was Cate’s room when she was there. They lay down for a nap, and Sarah went to sleep while twirling Cate’s hair. Sleep did not come as quickly for Cate. She lay there looking at Sarah,
Jenny would be proud of you
.
Maybe Jenny would even be proud of me, for the way I’ve taken care of Sarah.
She wondered if Jenny would approve of David and Kim, and concluded that she would. Kim looked a bit like Jenny, blonde like Jenny, but she had blue eyes while Jenny’s were green.
Sarah was such a loveable, adorable little girl, and she looked so much like her father, but had ways and mannerisms like Jenny. Cate saw them often, as Sarah went about the business of being a five year old. She wondered if Jenny’s ways and mannerisms would be lost as Sarah’s memories of her mother grew fainter and fainter, and dropped into her subconscious.
Cate also found herself dealing again with feelings of impending loss. She loved Sarah; loved taking care of her. She loved Sarah needing her, and wanting her to be the one to take care of her, and the fact that David needed her for Sarah as well. But if things continued to go well with David and Kim, neither one would need her. Cate realized she needed to bow out, and give Kim a chance to take her place. That was the right thing to do, the mature thing to do,
but it’s so hard.
Cate hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep until Sarah woke her about two o’clock. They went to the kitchen for some juice and afterwards, watched a Veggie Tales video, and spent the remainder of the day in the backyard.
Spying the Hernandez children who lived next door, Sarah asked, “Can they come and play?”
“If their mother says yes,” Cate said
“Will you ask?”
“Why don’t you?
“Okay,” Sarah hurried next door. She stopped to ask the children, after which she knocked on the door. Mrs. Hernandez came to the door and Sarah asked, “Can Suzi, and Diana come play with me?”
“Yes, they may,” Mrs. Hernandez answered, as she waved to Cate.
Cate spent the rest of the afternoon watching the children play. Mrs. Garcia brought lemonade and snacks for the children.
As Mrs. Garcia poured her a glass of lemonade, Cate said, “Thank you for the refreshments.”
“You are most welcome.”
“I would have thought you would be ready to go home by now. I’m sure that you have a special project you want to complete while David is away.”
“Yes, I do, but there was a special project here I wanted to complete first.”
“Really, what project?”
“Dinner is ready whenever you want to eat.”
“Thank you. That’s very thoughtful.”
“You are welcome, and there are extra meals in the freezer that can be re-heated.”
“Mrs. Garcia, I appreciate that, but you didn’t have too.”
“I know
mi
amiga
, but I wanted to. You can come home after school and relax.”
“I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”
“Thank you,” Mrs. Garcia paused, as an expression of gravity took over her face. She lowered her voice, “And, there is another matter, I would like to speak with you about.”
Cate clearly noted Mrs. Garcia’s somber tone and mood, “Okay...”
“Maybe, it is none of my business, but I speak from my heart. You are a wonderful woman.”
Cate smiled, “Thank you.”
“Mr. David, he is a wonderful man of God.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Miss Kim and Mr. Matthew are fine people,” Mrs. Garcia said.
Cate responded with puzzlement, “Yes, they are.”
Where is she going with this?
Mrs, Garcia looked to see that Sarah was out of earshot, “But, I see the way you look at Mr. David.”