The Castle Cross the Magnet Carter (34 page)

 

16

Lyin in bed starin at the ceilin 1 a.m. I get up an strike the match, put it to the curtains. Take a few seconds but it catch, then flash the whole bedroom, dresser, chest, bed. The closed door hot, flames cracklin, kissin it. Then the blaze splits, some of it take the guestroom, bathroom, some creep on down the steps. There it firs consume that rottin front door, then take its good ole time in the livin room, ease on through to the dinin, the kitchen: explode.

From the outside the whole place is lit. Occasionally I hear sirens in the distance but no fire truck ever shows up. I was in the house, but now I mus be outside cuz I'm seein it all, there go my toolshed, there the big ole oak Marky fell outa, the hedges
whoosh.
Sometimes the conflagration continue down the street, sometimes the whole neighborhood combust.

Lyin in bed starin at the ceilin 2 a.m. Tired a pyromania fantasizin in the insomnia, sleepin alone I have trouble with, an Erma in the guestroom, third night in the guestroom since the blood in the toilet. Four an a half months I stayed my side a the bed, she afraid
anything
close to her rattle that fetus, but now it all gone she on't seem any more interested than she was before in the tender touch. Nothin but sobs that firs evenin with her mother, sobs the second day. This mornin she skip church, come out to see me sippin coffee which'll be the whole a my Sunday breakfast an seven words she say: I know it ain't your fault, but. Who said it
was?
That all she utter in days, both us right in the same house. Every so often I peek through the keyhole, make sure she ain't dead. Guess she eat while I'm at work
if
she eat. Today my day off, damn if she didn't stay in that room all day, waited till I gone to bed to come out. Held her pee all day! Went to get my hedge clippers outa the toolshed yesterday an there they be—two cans a mint green paint. Imagine they stay there, unopened till eternity.

Earlier I tried stretchin out the whole bed, may as well take advantage a the sorry situation. But what if she come back all the sudden? Her place gotta be ready for her, I keep to my half, her side crisp clean fresh.
Ring.
Who the hell callin blacka the night mornin?

Randall, this is Sugar Schaeffer, Benja's neighbor. He's killin her!

At her place in a flash but by then he's gone, nothin but a house a screamin kids an her bloody an barely there. I call the ambulance. Sugar take the kids over to her house while I ride beside her on the gurney.

No surgery. Knocked her out but besides that guess she ain't bad as she looks. I sit in a chair by the wall gazin at my sister, the other bed for the moment empty. Nurses an doctors in an out, checkin her bags an tubes. Starin at her an suddenly it all burst into flames, the hospital
bed,
curtain,
Benja

Randall.

My eyes pop awake.

It's after eight.

I squint at her. She say that like years ago, like we at home late for school.

Don't chu gotta be gettin to the voter registration before it open at nine?

I wipe the sleep slobbers.

What?
My sister had holy crap kicked outa her lass night an now speakin clear as a bell, I'm the one with the slurry words.

You tole Mr. Martin you hit the voter registration.

My sleep-deprived eyes try to focus. How the hell she know about that?

I ain't doin it now.

Why not?

Why
not?
She stare at me.
Why not?

If you mean cuza this. If there weren't the voter registration you'd have to leave me anyway, you got a wife in mournin at home. An you
got
ta get to the voter registration, it's the nex thing comin. They got the schools, they can't have this.

I thought you said you an the other parents gonna make up some kinda private school.

That's provin harder n we figured. She sighs. Believe me, the rich
are
gettin their kids into the private.

She look at the IV stuck in her arm, sigh again.

I ain't gonna try to kill myself no more.

She say it like it some casual but determined decision, like I ain't gonna break my diet no more.

If he want me dead so bad, me stayin alive, that'll serve him right.

Well good mornin! How ya feelin. Nurse all cheerful.

My back hurts. My ribs hurt. My mouth hurts.

I bet. Here, you take these little pills.

Then the nurse pull that cord. Venetian blinds go up, daylight blindin.

They'll be bringin your breakfast in soon. She gone.

Randall—

I ain't budgin. What if your bastard helpmate happen by?

That's what the cop's for.

Cop?

She frown an tip her head toward the door. Sure enough, the man in blue standin guard.

I still ain't leavin my sister practically kilt to go to some damn demonstration or whatever you call it.

You
wan
na get fired?

Who said anything about gettin fired?

Benja roll her eyes, turn to the winda.

Who said anything
—

You know Brenda Jean an me on the communion committee. They had communion yesterday mornin, so Saturday while we cuttin up the bread, pourin the little grape juice glasses, Brenda Jean an I talked.

Benja stop there like the rest self-explanatory.

So?

So?
Her eyes narrowin, the imprint a his fists all over em.

Dr. Weiss, please come to emergency, requests the public-address system. Dr. Weiss.

Brenda Jean don't know nothin. Any firin goin on, or
not,
that between Mr. Martin an me.

Brenda Jean said you ain't no salesman! She didn't mean it mean, she likes ya, tryin to help, but anybody know people ain't salesmen ain't gonna last in no shoe sales!

I stare at her. How my sister in a hospital bruises head to toe manage to make
me
look the pathetic?

Mr. Martin likes ya too. You're young, you got spirit. That's what he says to Brenda Jean. He was inspired by the thing at the school.

You know what? If one more person bring up the goddamn thing at the school, like it the only accomplishment I ever accomplished my whole damn life.

Dr. Weiss, please come to emergency
immediately.
Dr. Weiss.

Well you gotta be makin a paycheck, that's all.

No kiddin.

It bears sayin since I don't think you particularly like sellin shoes, I think you might
wan
na get fired.

I ain't arguin with you about this, Benja. I ain't gettin into no fights while you look like somebody threw you in a wood chipper.

We ain't carryin ya, Randall!

What did you
—

We got our own things! Aaron an me can't support nobody else.

Who asked you to? What, cuz you give us the damn fish? I'da known that I'd thrown the damn fish back in Aaron's face!

Good, cuz we been savin. Hopin to repeat our honeymoon. Savannah.

I bout fall off my chair laughin.

Too bad they ain't brung out my breakfast tray so I could throw it atcha!

I'm practically rollin on the floor then in fly Ma. All she got to see is Benja's face to bust out bawlin.

Aw little girl, what he do to you?

Ma, it ain't that bad. An now
she
cryin. Stop cryin, Ma. Stop.

Why i'n't you call?
Turnin on me. I'm phonin over to Benja's, wonderin why nobody answerin, then I get scared, call over to Sugar Schaeffer's.

Now there's B.J. standin in the doorway, musta drove Ma here. I know he see me but don't look my direction. We ain't talked since that day at my store but this ain't about mad now. He jus can't take his eyes off Benja, his chest risin fallin risin fallin. Then he turn an gone.

I get up, go to the cop.

You found him yet?

Who?

The husband. Her husband.

I wa'n't lookin for him.

Ain't he at large?

She ain't pressed no charges.

You seen what he done to her.

That's why he come by I ain't lettin him in. Not till he cool off.

Till he
cool off?

Look. I don't like domestic. I feel like some Peepin Tom, intrudin between a man an woman, their business. But till he calm down, my job's to keep em apart.

So you ain't arrestin him?

For
what?

I take a walk down the hallway keep movin keep movin or I'm a goddamn punch this cop's lights out. Come back to the room.

Where's B.J.?

I shrug.

I thought you went after B.J.

I was talkin to the damn public servant at the door.

You gotta find B.J. You gotta find him! I don't want no trouble!

You seen your face? Little late for that.

Randall!
If I was close enough, Ma'd prolly hit me.

Find him! Find him!
Like some nutty women's chorus.

O
kay!
I think he jus went to the bathroom!

You gotta find him!
Why Benja pourin all these tears now Ma's in the room? An they ain't fake. Ma got that effect.

I'll
find
him!

Take me a breath.

I'll find him. Don't worry, I'll find him.

What, she think B.J.'s out searchin for Aaron, beat him up? Big as he is, B.J. never won arm wrasslin with me comin up, pretend like he lose for fear a hurtin me. Which is to say, he ain't the aggressive type. Where B.J. went is to the bathroom to cry after he seen Benja. Or throw up, an meanwhile them women whipped up in some wild frenzy, God! What a family!

He ain't in nunna the bathrooms. I go back to the room. Her breakfast tray in fronta her but she ain't touched it, look up when I walk in, worry face. An tired, the pills gettin to her but she fightin it.

He was in the bathroom. But he tole me he had to go to work.

Ma an her jus stare, mouths half open.

An I gotta go to that voter registration. I locate a tiny spot on my sister's cheek ain't bruised an gentle kiss it. I'll be back this evenin.

Walk past the dumb cop to the stairs, fly down em, out the door. Half runnin, fury sure is an accelerator, I'd ever had this kinda fury in school I'da been the track star. All roads leadin to Benja's, don't ask me why I'm headed there. Her idiot husband surely ain't nowhere in sight, always vanish after his little episodes, the bar or some friend's.

When I get to her place, all quiet. Eerie, I'm s'use to the commotion a all them kids. I step through the yard, through the kitchen door.

Thud!
backa my head, the room spinnin an I'm lookin up from the floor. Aaron poundin my face.

You an your fuckin brother! Kill you
both,
this is
my
property!
My
house!

I think I'm about to go out, then Aaron suddenly pulled up, away, suspended in air like God come down yanked him offa me. A struggle, but I manage second try to lean up on my elbows, adjuss my eyes.

Aaron white as a sheet. Close to his face is B.J. B.J. behine Aaron an towerin over Aaron, BJ.'s right arm aroun Aaron's torso tight, his leff hand on Aaron's jaw, one twist an all over for Aaron. B.J.'s right fingers move.

He wants to know if you want your neck broke.

Uh-
uh,
uh-
uh,
uh-
uh bess Aaron can say, his jaw in that position. B.J.'s fingers move. I reach into Aaron's hip pocket, pull out his wallet. Aaron's eyes try to follow.

He tole me get your wallet. You
always
walk aroun this much cash, boy?

Pay day pay day.

That's right, Pay day Friday out at the see-ment mixers.

The tears rollin slow down Aaron's cheeks. B.J.'s fingers move.

He says he checked your car, you got plenty enough gas to get to your mother's. You go there an cool the hell off. The money'll stay here with Benja. An ever touch my sister again, I'll kill you.

Aaron look at me. My face red warm.

I mean
he'll
kill you.

B.J. releases Aaron an Aaron falls to the floor. His neck an arms is all shades a purple. He stares at us both, specially at B.J. Then stumbles out the door.

I sign: Where did you come from?

I was here before, I knew he was hiding. I knew he saw me so
I
hid. Till he showed his face.

B.J. goes to the sink, washin his face an hans with the bar soap. I stare at my brother, my
big
brother. Aaron was scared a
him,
not me. Aaron look at B.J. he see somethin. What's the word?
Formidable.
But Aaron come outa hidin for me, Aaron look at me, see nothin
.

Just as I'm thinkin I ain't heard no car engine start up, I turn to the door an here come Aaron approachin fass with his pistol aimed straight at B.J.'s back.

B.J.!

But course my brother ain't heard me, wipin his face with the towel.

Aaron, no!

B.J. sense somethin an swerve aroun, facin Aaron, who got the revolver close range, close to B.J.'s heart.

You dummy, says Aaron. You goddamn deaf an dummy.

Aaron. Aaron, you don't wanna—

When you checked my car for gas, it mighta benefitted you to check the glove compartment cuz guess what I had stored there.

AARON
—

Click
.

Aaron jump like me, like he didn't quite mean to pull the trigger, jus him all hot n crazy he slipped. But now his face confused: why come nothin happened?

Click.

Click
.

Aaron lookin all mystified, peerin down the barrel, shake the gun like it's a flashlight gone weak, need a jiggle.

An all calm B.J. slip his hand in his front pocket, pull em out. Bullets.