The Clue of the Linoleum Lederhosen (6 page)

The forest smelled sweetly of pine needles. The trees sparkled in the sun. Lily, Mrs. Mandrake, Eddie Wax, and Rick walked down a steep slope toward a stream. In the woods Lily could see little benches on little side paths. There were places where people had tied Chinese lanterns to branches. In the evening guests could stroll out from the hotel veranda and walk through the woods. The forest would look soft and haunted. People could talk about the things that were important to them, like hope or sadness or their families.

Lily wished that she were with her friends. She wished they were all doing this together. When you are with your friends, even chores
can seem like fun. Once, for example, some friends of mine and I tried to lift up the sinking city of Venice on concrete pilings. Dave nearly dropped the cathedral of San Marco on Chloe's leg. Man, we laughed so hard, we almost spat out our snorkels. We still tease him about that occasionally. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

Lily felt uncomfortable about how things were turning out. Katie was sitting by herself somewhere. Jasper—poor Jasper—was off with the Manley Boys, who were probably being mean to him.

Sometimes Lily worried about Jasper. He was a little too good for this world. Even though he usually was the one protecting her with his ray guns and his atomic cannon, sometimes he was the one who needed protecting. She wanted to put her arm around his shoulders and tell him that everything was fine, that he was a good person and it didn't matter what people said about his belief that the world was hollow or about the antennae on his bike.

Instead, she was walking along beside Eddie Wax, who was nice but who wouldn't stop talking.

“Yep, Stumpy and me won the Portertown Derby. Mayor of Portertown turned bright red as a roadhouse borscht and threwed his hat right on the ground. Guess you know that, if you read the book. The wind was blowing up through my hair. It was blowing it back kind of heroic. Like this.” He held up some of his hair. “Hey. Lookee here. Like this. Wind. And Stumpy, Stumpy was …”

Lily had imagined the vacation working out very differently. She wanted Jasper, Katie, and her to be walking together through these woods, talking about school and movies, with the lights sparkling in the trees, and people whispering secrets to each other, and the fountains lacing the evening air with water.

“They said I couldn't do it, but I showed them I could,” said Eddie Wax. “I gentled Stumpy, I took her in the race, and I won first place, fair and square. They said I couldn't, but I
did. The prize was a pie so big, I swum in it for a week.”

Rick called back, “Hey, you two getting to know each other? That's cute.”

He and Mrs. Mandrake waited by a turn in the path for Lily and Eddie Wax to catch up. Lily was relieved. Rick had never appeared in a book. He was just staying at the hotel. He seemed a little boastful, but Lily thought he might be less peculiar than some of the other guests, a little more straightforward. She gladly joined him, and the four of them walked together down the path.

Rick was busy trying to impress Mrs. Mandrake. “You psychic?” he asked. “I'm psychic. I can move things with my mind. I just don't do it. I choose not to use my powers.”

“How delightful,” said Mrs. Mandrake. “One could just stand on the diving board and have the water jump to
you.
It would save a lot of unnecessary flexing. Do you know, Rick, I am a little anxious about this resort.”

“Because of the kidnapping?” asked Rick.

“Yes. Of course because of the kidnapping. Just before we left, Sid, the hotel manager, told me that they had received a ransom call from the kidnapper asking for forty thousand dollars apiece for the Quints.”

“Wow,” exclaimed Rick. “Forty thousand smackers. Times five.”

“Wow, indeed,” said Mrs. Mandrake. “If this were a hotel of quality, they would be asking for twenty times that, at least.”

“Wait!” said Lily. “They called asking for a ransom?”

“If you can call that a ransom. I pay more than that to have my fridge cleaned.”

Rick stopped in his tracks. “What?” he said. “Geez.”

“My fridge,” said Mrs. Mandrake, “is the size of a city block. I am serious about my Klondikes.”

Lily wanted to hear more about the ransom. “Who was it who called? A man or a woman?”

“I haven't the faintest idea.”

“When did they call?”

“No idea.”

“Where did they say to leave the money?”

“Haven't the foggiest.”

“They must have said something! When does someone have to give them the money by?”

“Darling moppet, hush—cease your charming prattle. Really—no idea whatsoever. Sid just mentioned it in passing.”

Rick jumped in. “Did I, uh, did I overhear that you have a priceless necklace?”

“I do have a priceless necklace. Whether you were eavesdropping when I spoke of it, you would know better than me.”

“Where does someone hide a necklace like that?” asked Rick, plucking at his knuckles. “You know, priceless. Really … priceless.”

Mrs. Mandrake simply answered, “I have taken certain
precautions
to make sure the necklace is in no danger.” She smiled.

“What would, eh, what would those be?” asked Rick.

“Why do you ask, Rick?”

“I just have the kind of inquisitive mind that loves to know … about necklaces … and, you know, precautions.”

“Do you ever sit at home in the evenings, Rick, and ask yourself why you're alone?” asked Mrs. Mandrake. “I'll tell you. You don't really inspire confidence in a woman. I know the hearts of girls from six to sixty-six. When a man asks for floor plans of a woman's house and says things like ‘Do you ever leave the secret door ajar?' a lady's thoughts, I'm afraid, turn from a milky-white steed and a merry wedding at the chapel in the woods to deadbolts and laser-operated motion detectors.”

“Speaking of steeds, you heard of my steed?” interrupted Eddie Wax. “Her name was Stumpy and she was sired on the outer banks of Kansas and she was the bestest horse ever to gallop her way to victory and free pie.”

Suddenly Lily froze. Then she pointed, a look of terror on her face.

Rick kept talking to Mrs. Mandrake. “How'd you, eh, make your big money?”

“My husband.”

“How'd he make his big money?”

“He invented raisin pants.”

“Raisin pants.” Rick slapped himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. “Raisin pants! All it takes is one brilliant idea, and you—”

“A BEAR!” yelled Eddie Wax, pointing where Lily pointed.

Indeed, there in the shrubs was a bear— fangs glinting, eyes yellow—ready to tear them to pieces.

Jasper and the Manley Boys had been wandering up the slope for an— Oh, are you interested in the bear?

All right. Okay. You win. We can do that.

Four humans cowered before the snarling bear.

“It's a grizzly,” whispered Lily.

“Happily,” said Mrs. Mandrake, “the soft parts of my neck are completely protected by pearls. Always remember, little girl, that it pays to pamper your jugular.” She whooped defiantly, “Slash away, Bruno! There are two inches of flawless South Sea nacre between you and my lifeblood!”

Rick had gotten down on the ground and
rolled himself into a ball. He was trying to roll away but found himself lumpy.

Meanwhile, Lily tried to remember whether you were supposed to run at a bear making loud sounds. That might be what you do for a jackal. She
definitely
thought you were supposed to run at jackals. At the moment she couldn't keep anything straight. Wilderness advice kept pouring into her panicked brain. Deer are frightened off by soap. Tarantulas can jump. And bears … bears…

Suddenly she remembered. She said carefully, “Whatever you do, don't—look—in—its— eyes. And don't—turn—your—back—on it, or it will think you're prey. And speak—slowly— in a monotone—kind—of—voice.”

“Speak in a monotone?!?”
exclaimed Rick, his head between his knees.

“Goodness gracious, child, we're doomed,” said Mrs. Mandrake, fanning herself. “My speaking voice is relentlessly fascinating.”

With all this noise, Lily was sure the bear was going to pounce. She tensed herself.

The bear glared.

She took a step back.

The bear, however, didn't move an inch.

Lily squinted. Mrs. Mandrake had closed her eyes and held her arms out in front of her.

Lily took a step closer to the bear.

Nothing happened.

She walked right up to the bear. She reached out and touched it. “Hey,” she said, “this is a stuffed bear's head.”

Mrs. Mandrake opened her eyes. “How brave of you,” she said.

Lily said shyly, “I was prepared for this kind of thing by my best friend's parents.”

“Lily, run!” cried Eddie. “It still has its teeth!”

“It's just a head,” said Lily. “It's mounted on a board.”

“That means you can't shoot it through the heart!” screamed Eddie. “It's immortal!”

Everyone else looked at Eddie like he was loopy.

Meanwhile, Lily reached up and dislodged
the mounted bear's head from the branches. She examined it closely.

“That's weird,” she said. “I wonder what it's doing out here?”

It was the head of a real bear that had been hunted long ago. The jaws were open in a snarl. There was a little silver plaque below the head that had the name of the hunter who had shot it, Jarris Tuttle, and the year, 1923.

Eddie was standing right next to Lily, smelling like peanut butter and whispering, “Shouldn't we leave it there?”

Lily said, “It belongs to the hotel.”

“I reckon,” said Eddie, “it belongs to the bear.”

Something about this thought struck Lily. Slowly, she put the head down in the leaves.

“That was very startling,” said Mrs. Mandrake.

“Sure was,” said Rick.

Mrs. Mandrake frowned. “I didn't see much evidence of your ability to control things with your mind.”

“I told you!” said Rick. “I choose not to use my powers, because it would upset the balance of”—he shrugged—“good and evil. And left and right.”

“Let's keep going,” said Lily. “The Quints are still out there.”

They continued down the path.

Sagging in the dried leaves, the bear's head seemed to watch them as they went, peering through the shadows of the forest with its dusty glass eyes.

Jasper and the Manley Boys had been wandering up the slope for an hour or so without finding anything.

It was not much fun to be in a search party with the Manley Boys. First of all, Jasper was allergic to the mountain laurel, so his nose was running. Second, the Manley Boys wanted a lot of attention for their powers of detection.

“Look!” exclaimed Jank, pointing. “That shrub is caught up a tree! We got to save it immediately!”

Jasper said, “I believe that's ivy.”