“It’s parents’ weekend,” I said.
Noelle laughed. “Thomas rubbing off on you?”
I flushed, thinking of Thomas’s room. Of his body. Of his skin against mine.
“No. It’s not that.” I looked up the hill at our teammates who were a good ten yards ahead, chatting and laughing. “I’m not looking forward to it either. It has nothing to do with him.”
“Oh. Trouble at home?” she asked facetiously, sticking out her bottom lip.
“Thanks a lot,” I said, with a little more venom than I intended.
Noelle’s eyes lit with surprise. “Look. If you don’t want your parents here, you don’t have to have them here. It’s your life. You don’t owe them anything.”
She was wrong. I owed my father everything. But I knew he wasn’t coming here without my mother. He clung to the idea that we could be a normal, happy family. Besides, she would grumble about the expense and inconvenience of taking the trip, but the fit she would throw if he tried to come without her would be level five all the way—even though she didn’t actually want to be here. The depth of my mother’s psychosis was staggering.
“I just don’t know how I would tell him . . .,” I said, thinking
aloud, then flushing. Noelle looked at me expectantly. “Never mind.”
Another thing I wasn’t ready to do with Noelle was trust her with my secrets.
We reached the top of the hill and already most of our teammates were running drills on the field. Noelle dropped her bag at her feet. She swung her thick hair behind her shoulders and reached back to gather it up into a ponytail.
“If you want me to be there when you make the call, I will,” Noelle offered. “I’m usually good at bringing out the ass-kicker in people.”
My incredulousness must have shown, because she smirked.
“Don’t give me that,” she said. “I mean, if we daughters of fucked-up families can’t stick together, than where the hell will we be?”
I smiled. I had no idea what was screwed up about her family, but it made me feel better. If she was going to start telling me little bits about herself, maybe I could start to do the same. Maybe. Sometime.
“Oh. I almost forgot.” She crouched and reached into the side pocket on her bag. She pulled out a small, blue cell phone and held it up in the palm of her hand. “For you.”
“What?” I said, picking up the phone. On the screen were the words “Glass-licker’s Phone.”
No one had ever given me anything this expensive. Or this extravagant. Even if it did say “Glass-licker” instead of “Reed.”
“You’re kidding me,” I said.
“Do I
look
like I’m kidding?” she replied.
My mouth was hanging open. “There’s no way I can accept this.”
“You already have,” she said with a shrug.
“But what about the . . .uh . . .”
“The bill? Taken care of. I don’t give people presents they have to pay for.”
“Noelle—”
She stood and hoisted her bag. “Look, we can’t have you being unavailable, can we?” she said, walking backward toward the field.
I blinked. The foreboding was back. Was this part of whatever plan Noelle had in store for me? The plan Taylor almost mistakenly divulged? “What do you mean?”
“Who knows? There may be some kind of glass-licking emergency,” she said teasingly.
“Lange! Brennan! Get your butts out here!” Coach shouted, waving her arm at us.
Noelle grinned at me, then turned and strolled at her own leisurely pace toward the field.
When Noelle arrived at my room that night, she spent ten minutes blatantly looking around, picking up books, studying posters, squinting at pictures. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had started opening drawers. And I probably would have let her. Privacy was not an issue. All I could think about as she conducted her search was whether or not everything would meet with her approval. Finally she sat down on Constance’s bed and regarded me with an open expression.
“Let’s do this,” she said.
I nodded and sat across from her. The cell phone was slippery from my palm sweat. Just dialing on the tiny buttons was difficult. My father answered on the second ring, sounding alert and paranoid. He always sounded this way when he answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Dad. It’s me.”
“Reed! Hi, kiddo!” His voice completely changed and the rush of guilt was overwhelming. He sounded excited. Happy even. I glanced helplessly at Noelle. She gave me a stern look.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.
“Actually, it’s about parents’ weekend,” I said.
I was going to die from this pain. I really was. I squirmed and clutched at my bedspread.
“Your mother and I are so looking forward to it,” he said.
Oh, God. Come on!
“Tell him!”
Noelle whispered, kicking my foot.
I shot her a look of death. If I hadn’t been so overwrought already, that never would have happened. She simply stared back, urging me on.
“Well, that’s the thing,” I said. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t think you should come.”
A laugh. Then a pause. “What? Why?”
Even in my guilt, I rolled my eyes. “You
know
why, Dad.”
“Reed, your mother
wants
to come,” he said. “She even bought a new outfit.”
I swallowed hard. The outfit was not for me. I knew the way her mind worked. She was all about appearances. She wanted the other parents to think she belonged. But her nature would win out over her facade. There was no way she would get through the weekend without showing her true colors—without spewing them all over me. Just the mental picture was all I needed to go on.
“It doesn’t matter, Dad. I don’t want her here,” I said.
“Now, Reed—”
“I’m not going to change my mind,” I told him, earning a resolute nod from Noelle. “She’ll ruin everything. We both know it. Besides, think of all the money you’ll save—”
I glanced at Noelle. Saw her register this. I had just shown her my cards. No going back now.
“Oh, Reed. It’s not about the money,” my father said. “Don’t do this—”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said, ready to burst into tears for any number of reasons. “I don’t want you to come and I’m not gonna change my mind.”
There was a long pause. I imagined him in the kitchen, lowering his heavy frame onto one of the wooden chairs around the table. His slumped shoulders. His hand on his face. I was going to cry at any second.
“What am I going to tell your mother?” he said finally. “She’s been in so much pain lately. . . .”
And there it was. What it was all about. Her. How she would feel. How she would react. The terror and guilt she would rain down on all of us when she was disappointed. I was so sick of it. So sick of living in fear of her. The woman even had my father quaking in his boots.
“Tell her to call
me
,” I said sharply. “If that’s what she wants.”
“Reed. I was so looking forward to it,” he said. “To seeing you.”
My heart clenched. Not for the first time, I wished it were just my dad. That would make life so much easier. Maybe if I could just have
him
come. Maybe if there was a way . . .
I felt myself start to crumble and I glanced at Noelle. She must have seen the weakness in my eyes because hers grew dark.
“Don’t you cave,” she said through her teeth. “Do not cave.”
And that was all I needed. I couldn’t crumble in front of her.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said honestly. “I can’t do it.”
“I wish you didn’t have so much anger,” he said, sounding sad and resigned.
You try growing up in that household and coming out all rainbows and unicorns.
“Yeah. Me too,” I said.
Noelle looked confused. I took a deep breath. This had gone on long enough. I needed to get off the phone. I needed to get off and hit something. “I have to go now, Dad. We have to go to dinner.”
“Okay. Reed, if you change your mind . . .,” he said hopefully. So hopefully it killed.
“Yeah, Dad. I know. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I hung up before he could even say good-bye.
“Nice work, glass-licker,” Noelle said, slapping me on the shoulder.
“Would you
please
stop calling me that?” I blurted.
Surprised anger flashed across her face and for a split second I thought she was going to explode. But then she smiled.
“All you had to do was ask.”
I split off from Noelle on the way to dinner, hoping to find Thomas before everyone got to the table. After my phone call with my father I was a jumble of warring emotions. At turns I was proud of myself, then guilty, then free, then miserable. I wanted to both laugh and burst into tears. I needed to talk to Thomas. I needed to talk to someone who would understand.
The weather had changed as if to match my mood. A light drizzle had started to fall just before we left Bradwell, matched with a chilly wind. I pulled my denim jacket tighter around me as I approached the cafeteria. Fall was definitely here. Students rushed by me, hustling to get inside before the sky opened up. When I saw Thomas standing outside the double doors I felt instantly relieved. He was, as always, surrounded by random students, some of whom I now knew and some of whom I had only seen around. Easton was small enough that by this time I had seen everyone around. Thomas caught my eye, said a few words to his entourage, and they all dispersed quickly. Sometimes I thought I was dating not only the
most popular guy in school, but also the most powerful. People always seemed to listen and act on every word he said.
“Hey,” he said, wrapping his warm arms around me.
I sunk into him, breathing in his clean scent. So much better.
“Hey,” I replied. “So, I did it.”
“Did what?” he asked. He leaned back slightly to look into my eyes.
“I told my parents not to come.” Even as I said it, my heart clenched.
Thomas’s face lit up in a way I had never seen before. For the first time, I could clearly see what he had looked like as a little boy. A little boy who had just been given a shiny new bike. Or in Thomas’s case, perhaps a helicopter.
“This is perfect!” he said. “Now you can come to lunch with me and my parents.”
I looked at him, confused. “Since when are you so psyched about lunch with your parents?” Part of me had thought that since I had stood up to my dad, maybe he would be able to do the same. Apparently he wasn’t so inclined or inspired.
“Since you became available,” he replied, settling back into his cool demeanor. “They’re dying to meet you. And when they’re dying to meet someone, they’re usually on their best behavior.”
A bunch of girls from my floor walked by us in a clump, chatting loudly as they slipped into the cafeteria.
“Why are they dying to meet me?” I asked.
“I told them about you and they love that I have an actual
girlfriend,” he said with a small smile. “Any sign of stability in my life sends them into ecstatic convulsions.”
“Wow. So, have you never had a girlfriend before?” I asked.
“Not one worth telling them about,” he replied. I flushed with pleasure as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. “So come. Please? It’ll make everything
so
much easier.”
I was flattered. Flattered and honored and just happy. Thomas wanted me to meet his parents. He practically needed me to. All the guilt I had been feeling over my own family was pushed aside. Noelle was right. This was my life now.
“Okay,” I said finally.
“Really?”
“Are you kidding?” I said with a playful smile. “Count me in. I can not
wait
to meet Lawrence and Trina.”
I was just dozing off when my cell phone beeped. I jumped up, heart in my throat. I glanced at the digital clock on Constance’s desk: 12:01 a.m. Who the hell was texting me at 12:01? It beeped again and I scrambled through my bag for it, glancing over at Constance as I blindly searched. Her chest rose and fell in its normal rhythm without so much as a flinch. A sleep that deep could not be safe. But at least it was good for me.
The screen of my cell was alight with a text message. I lost all breath when I saw the words.
MEET BEHIND BILLINGS. U HAVE 3 MINS.
What the?
Okay. Apparently the slave portion of my relationship with the Billings Girls was
not
over.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to think. I jumped up, threw a sweatshirt on over my pajama pants, and jammed my bare feet into sneakers. I felt loud and awkward and clumsy as I tiptoed out of the
room and closed the door behind me. I bypassed the elevator—which had a
ping!
that could wake the dead and was right next to Miss Ling’s room on the first floor—and headed for the stairs. My heart was in my throat all the way down the five flights and into the lobby. I held on to the heavy back door to Bradwell until it finally clicked closed, expecting at every second for Miss Ling to appear, fearing that I’d tripped some silent alarm. But nothing happened.
Thank God.
Outside, the air chilled my bones and the sky was as black as death. No moon. No stars. I tripped myself twice on the short run across to Billings and prayed the girls weren’t watching me fumbling and stumbling. About ten seconds later I found myself standing near the back wall of Billings, facing Noelle, Ariana, Kiran, and Taylor. I gasped for breath.
“You were almost late,” Kiran said, her glossy lips pursed.
“Sorry,” I replied, trying to stand up straight.
“We need you to do something for us,” Noelle said.
Shocker. I didn’t actually think I was here for an appreciation party.
“What?” I asked.
“Ariana has a physics test tomorrow,” Taylor said. “We need you to get it for her.”
The ground dropped out from underneath me.
“What?”
“I didn’t have time to study,” Ariana said blithely.
“And I didn’t have time to tutor her,” Taylor said.
I stared at her. Was this really the same girl who helped me so
selflessly with my work? I had thought she was kind. Normal even. Now she was staring me down with the rest of them asking me to, what? Break into a teacher’s office?