The Crescendo (6 page)

Fresh tears and sobs started again. Lenore hugged her daughter fiercely but her green eyes shot to Jaz. Probing for answers no one wanted to give.

Jaz, yet again, could only shake her head.

‘Oh my God. Oh my God,' said Lenore.

While Lenore and Anna wept fresh noisy tears, Jaz went back to rocking on her seat and studied the poo chart again. That was until her mum and Paul came in. Tash still in her office clothes, blonde hair in a high bun and blue eyes bright. Paul was in his work clothes too; he hated suits and much preferred a knitted jumper with his shirt and tie.

They rushed to her and sat either side. Cody went back to pacing to give them some space and Jaz was relieved when Lenore broke the news to them.

‘He didn't make it this time, Tash. They couldn't save him. Pax is gone.' Lenore's green eyes were half red, bloodshot and glossy.

‘No. I can't believe it.' Tasha shot up from the chair.

‘Love, what are you doing,' said Paul, who Jaz realised was holding her hand and rubbing gentle circles against her skin. When had he started that?

‘I need to see him. I need to see him for myself.'

Jaz's mum stood strong, and for the first time Jaz could see the agent she used to be. The strength that radiated through her was unlike anything she'd ever seen from her before. Even if she was in a grey pants suit and black high heels. Spinning on said heels, she strutted out on a mission.

Everyone gaped at each other. Did they too feel as if there was some hope that Pax was really alive? If Tasha didn't believe it, then maybe it wasn't true.

They hadn't seen his body. What if there was a mix-up.

Jaz heard raised voices down the corridor and Paul stood up. ‘Oh no.'

‘I demand to see him.'

Yes, it was her mother's voice.

‘We better go get her,' said Paul, pulling her up off the chair.

Jaz followed him along the corridor towards where they'd heard Tasha's demands.

They found her in Pax's room, her body flung over his. Jaz found herself studying Pax's face. It was as if he was simply sleeping. She itched to go and shake him awake. Except if her mum's body weight and crying didn't wake him, nothing would.

Tasha got up and kissed Pax's forehead. ‘Thank you, Pax. Thank you for everything. I owe you my life,' she whispered as she wiped back tears.

But Jaz heard her mother's words and she knew exactly what Tasha meant, even if Paul didn't. Jaz stepped closer as her mum joined Paul. Jaz studied Pax's face, so at ease even his wrinkles seemed less. Jaz wanted to go and hold him but she was scared. Scared of how he'd feel without a heartbeat, without the flow of blood in his veins. Would he be cold?

She couldn't do it. Instead she backed out of the room after her parents.

‘I'm so sorry, Pax. I'm really sorry.'

***

They had all gone back to Jaz's place for a strong coffee. Anna and her family only lived a few houses down so it was going to be one house or the other. Seeing as Anna's dad was still stuck at work for another hour, they came to Tasha's.

Paul was working their coffee machine, Simon was home and topping the coffee with lots of chocolate, Tasha was pulling out chocolate biscuits, slices, and whatever else she had in the fridge until the table was full. Everyone sat around the long jarrah table, staring at the food, but no one reached out. Instead they sat there, eyes glazed over in silence.

Jaz stood between the table and the kitchen bench in limbo land.

‘Jaz, I'm gonna go check the gym is locked up properly and then I'm off home. But call if you need anything at all, hey?' said Cody. His mop of blond saltwater rinsed hair was knotted at the top of his head; it contrasted against his deep tan and black singlet. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest tightly.

Jaz hadn't had this much contact with Cody ever, and the last time he tried to hit on her she'd dropped him to the ground. But now she found his hug okay and realised that Cody had become a great friend to them all and had managed to join their little circle or, more to the point, they had joined his. The agency had brought them all together.

‘You're not alone, okay,' he whispered.

Her body sagged against him, her arms went around his strong back as her head rested on his shoulder. In her mind, it wasn't Cody who was comforting her; it was Ryan. Ryan's strong body holding her up. Ryan whispering comforting words. But would Ryan even know? Could someone get a message to him? Would he even be able to come to the funeral? She knew that seeing Ryan would be less likely the more and more he went undercover with his mission. He'd be under more scrutiny and attending Pax's funeral would be too risky, even trying to see Jaz would be risky, but in her mind she was dreaming of that moment when he'd come for her. But for now, Cody was as good as it got.

‘You call me anytime, Jaz.' His lips were by her ear and his voice was soft and tender.

‘Thanks Cody. Thanks for checking out the gym. I can't …' Her words fell away as she let him go.

‘I know. I'll be around,' he said squeezing her shoulder, before heading out the door with a last goodbye to everyone else.

‘Lenore, your coffee,' said Paul, as he placed her mug down in front of her while Simon brought Anna's and Tay's.

‘Thanks Paul. I rang Jeffery, I forgot what time it was in America but this news couldn't wait,' said Lenore. ‘He's going to book a flight home the moment we know the date for the funeral. It will be nice to have both my babies by my side again.' Lenore smiled at Anna.

Everyone nodded around the table. Jaz felt as if a bomb had just exploded and everyone was still shell-shocked and numb with pain and ears ringing. Well, that's how she felt. She didn't want to sit around the table and tell stories of Pax, and cry and laugh. Instead she turned and walked off to the stairs, up to her bedroom.

She grabbed the small photo album from the bottom drawer in her desk and went to her window, drawing back the dark curtains and unlatching the glass. Jaz climbed outside and sat just outside her window on the roof. It was night, most of the street was tucked up in bed, only the streetlights left up. Making herself comfortable, Jaz opened the album; the light from her bedroom was plenty to see with.

Two photos in and she found what she was looking for, a photo of herself in a white singlet, and resting around her neck was the medallion. Her father's medallion. She rang her finger over the picture. She knew every line, scratch and curve of that metal circle. It was all she had of her biological father and she'd clung to it like a queen to her crown. It would have killed her back then if she'd lost it.

Except now she had lost it but her gut twisted at the thought of getting it back. Did she want it back? Was it too tarnished? How could it hold the same value now?

Jaz flicked through a few more photos until she found one of Pax at the gym. He was down on all fours scrubbing the mats. A job Jaz had taken on because she didn't like seeing him working so hard, especially at his age. This photo proved that Pax was a man who worked hard, had no airs or graces even though he came from a very wealthy family and had an inheritance that could see him living in a mansion, not a rundown house attached to a rundown gym. He'd been her grandfather figure, her inspiration, and her centre.

Jaz pressed her lips together as hot tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them now, even as she tried hard to control her breathing, but the more she looked at the photos of Pax at the gym the more she realised what she'd lost. She felt the big hole well up inside her, like an abyss threatening to suck all the life from her.

If she hadn't have asked him about Salvatore and the medallion, would he still be alive? Pax hadn't had time to say anything, to answer her burning questions, and now he'd never would. Jaz was still no closer to knowing the full truth.

Deep down everything was too much of a coincidence. Yet it was like a war raging inside her mind; until she knew the truth, part of her still refused to believe it was possible. It wasn't something she could go to her mum about without spilling the beans on the agency. When her mum had fought so hard to give Jaz a safe normal life, she couldn't ruin that by telling her she'd joined the same agency. Maybe when she was older, but not now. Until then, Jaz would have to keep this secret. Maybe the only person she could talk to about it was Salvatore himself? Jaz shivered and drew her knees up. Was she mad?

The night was settling around her and the air was feeling crisper. How long had she been sitting out here?

Her album was closed but she could see Pax clearly in her mind. His smile, those soft eyes, and she could even hear his laugh, which was a deep throaty chuckle. How long until those memories faded? How long until she'd be grasping at wispy threads of images? How long until life moved on without him?

Chapter 7

Ryan left his flat, TV going and lights on, and went down to the secured parking below. They'd picked this flat as the private parking meant only those with a card could get in. This way he could leave a beat-up hatchback inside to drive out and hopefully not be followed or noticed if he was being watched. Now was one of those times he needed to escape the flat.

With his hat and sunglasses on, he sunk low into the driver's seat to give the illusion he was a very short person, and drove the yellow hatchback outside once the roller door opened. He drove around for a bit, doubled back, and checked he hadn't been followed, before making his way into the city to meet up with James.

He parked under the building then made his way to the office where Janice buzzed him in. Ryan went straight to James's office door and knocked.

‘Come in.'

Ryan entered, found James sitting at his desk, his shirt rolled up to his elbows as he waded through paperwork. One lone chair sat opposite the large desk. The room was pretty simple, with just one cheap print on the wall. If you found yourself in this office it would look like any normal office, except the paperwork James was looking through was collection information on suspects, drug shipments, trafficking of young girls and more. Not many people got to lay eyes on what James saw, not even the Commissioner of Police, unless it was necessary.

‘Ryan, grab a seat.' James sat back in his chair and stretched. ‘Tilly said he told you about Pax?'

He nodded and all hope that the news had been wrong vanished like a popped balloon. ‘What happened, have you heard?' Ryan needed to know the full story.

‘Jaz was with him when he had another heart attack,' said James.

Ryan drew in a shaky breath. Poor Jaz.

‘He flatlined at the gym and the ambos brought him back, but by the time they got to the hospital he'd gone again and couldn't be revived.' James sighed heavily and rubbed his face slowly. ‘I feel for those kids. They were all there, they all loved him, had grown up with him. It's devastating. Pax was here from nearly the beginning, he's been the glue that held this agency together. He'll be bloody missed.' James swallowed hard. ‘I hate to say it, but it's lucky we brought Anna in when we did. Pax's expertise and knowledge is something that would have been hard to replace.'

Ryan nodded, trying to stay focused when his heart was racing. His mind was taken up with images of Jaz watching Pax having a heart attack.

‘Looks like the funeral will be next week. I know you'd like to go but it's not going to be possible,' said James, holding up a hand as if he knew Ryan was about to protest. ‘We're already taking a big risk to get you to your sister's wedding this weekend. Besides, we can't have all our people linked. Those of us who will go will be undercover.'

‘I know.' Ryan knew only too well but it didn't make it any easier. And James had pulled lots of strings to get him out for Steph's wedding. He only had one sibling and if he didn't go to her wedding he'd regret it for the rest of his life, that and Steph would probably kill him.

‘So it's all go with Jamison?' asked James.

He leant forward, his blue eyes bright, and Ryan found himself lost in their resemblance to Jaz's for a moment. God he missed her. He was so used to working with her, running into her at the gym, seeing her smile and the strength she radiated. She was a breath of fresh air in a musty stale room. She'd become someone special; he knew that, he'd been fighting it, but that night in the Wicked van had just about been his undoing. Jaz was even more delectable than he could imagine. Even now he could still feel the soft mounds in his hands, the dip of her back down to the gentle curve of her backside, and that G-string! She'd surprised him.

James cleared his throat, waiting for an answer. Ryan shook the sweet memories from his mind.

He knew he had to distance himself from her. It had been hard but jumping into this mission had helped. ‘Um, yes. I've got my foot in the door thanks to Tilly's help. Now I've just got to do a good job and wait for my next chance to step up.' Or the next opportunity they could work to his favour. Ryan was aiming to get to bodyguard status. Driving Jamison around was one thing, but being a guard and going inside buildings with Jamison would put him closer to the action and information. He had to be patient, as it could take years and he had to be loyal, which meant doing anything that was asked. Even kill an innocent. He hoped he didn't have to, but they were all prepared to do what was necessary to infiltrate Jamison's business and network.

‘Um, James?' Ryan cleared his throat. ‘While I'm here, I have a few questions about Salvatore.' Ryan didn't need to mention his last name, Sal was a well-known target.

‘Sure, shoot.'

‘What info do you have on him, like before he came to WA? Who was working the De Luca case back then?'

James glanced at the photo on his desk. ‘My sister, actually.' He kept looking at it as he spoke. ‘Natasha was to get into the family home and she did that by getting Salvatore's attention. He was young then, and from what Natty told me she believed him to be innocent. Tried telling me on many occasions, actually, that Sal didn't want to be like his father, nor did he want to join his business, and even then I could tell that Natty cared for Sal. They say not to get involved, but when you are with someone for a long time during an op things can get a little blurry.'