The Darkest Pleasure (9 page)

"I'll never let you go, Ashliyn. No one will ever have you but me."

I was secretly thrilled at his confession, and smiled up at him as I brought my head up and returned his kiss. His words brought warmth to my chest and a feeling I couldn't quite decipher. My mother had always told me if something were meant to happen, I'd feel it down to my soul. I was feeling something I couldn't begin to understand, but I knew I felt it in my very being. Giving Kerian this part of me wasn't a mistake.

I felt him slide slightly out of me, all the while keeping his eyes locked with mine. I gripped his biceps as he pushed forward, breaking through my innocence, and seating himself fully inside me. I felt his balls slap against my bottom with the force of his thrust, and I couldn't help but moan and gasp.

"Are you all right? Did I hurt you?"

He looked down at me with worry in his eyes. His thrust had hurt, I can't deny that, but with the pain came an exquisite pleasure. “I'm fine.” I smiled and ran my hand over his cheek as he pulled out before thrusting back in. He kept his movements short and shallow at first, and by the time he picked up speed, I was panting and moaning. “Oh...Oh it feels wonderful.” I threw my head back against the pillow as his thrusts became deeper and quicker. He leant back and I opened my eyes to look at what he was doing. His movements never stopped as he gripped my inner thighs and spread them wider. His gaze was on his cock buried in my pussy, his eyes glazed over as a look of pure desire covered his features. He groaned, breathing heavily above me. He then wrapped my legs around his waist and moved over me again. I loved how our sweat-soaked bodies slid against each other in the most delicious way. His pelvis hit my clit with every thrust, and I quickly felt my orgasm climbing towards release. His hips pumped harder and faster into me and I gripped the sheets tighter. His fingers moved to my breasts, where he tweaked my nipples until they stood hard and long. I heard our skin slapping together, and that noise paired with the delicious things he was doing to my body finally sent me over the edge. My vaginal muscles clamped hard around his shaft and I cried out my release. My legs locked tight around his narrow hips as I felt him thrust inside of me one last time. He tensed all over and groaned into my neck as I felt his hot semen shoot out of him, coating my insides. I felt something sharp at my neck, the sensation sending me off into another climax, harder then the one before. I turned my head away, giving him better access to my throat to continue doing whatever wonderful thing he was doing. His orgasm pumped into me for several moments before his big body slumped over mine. It was a welcome feeling, his strong muscled limbs hanging over me, though his weight gave me a hard time breathing. I didn't have to say anything; he seemed to sense it and rolled off me.

We lay side by side, our breath coming out in hurried pants, saying nothing. He rolled towards me and scooped me up so I was lying half on him and half on the bed. I felt sleepy and drugged with euphoria. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt his hand making lazy circles on my side, causing my flesh to tingle and pucker with goosebumps. I felt myself drifting off to sleep, but before I succumbed to it, I thought I had heard Kerian whisper, “I'm sorry."

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I woke feeling deliciously sore in all the right places, and slowly opened my eyes. I was in the same position I had fallen asleep in, my body half-draped over Kerian. He was wide awake, staring at me. I wondered how long he had been doing that. It was still dark out, and I didn't feel I'd slept very long. We stared into each other's eyes before he dipped his head down and kissed me. I could feel his hand run down my ribs and over my hip to my thigh. We continued to kiss softly, and I felt him lift my leg and drape it over his thigh. The act caused my vagina to come in direct contact with his already engorged cock. He felt hot and hard, immediately making me wet. He kissed me more feverishly and ran his hand up and down my thigh. I shifted closer, spearing my fingers through his hair as our heads tilted for a deeper angle that made our kiss more intimate. I moaned into his mouth and felt his hand slip between our bodies to run along my cleft. My clit throbbed at his touch, and I felt hot wetness coat my vaginal lips. It was a heady sensation, and I was surprised I could become so aroused so quickly after we had just spent ourselves hours before. But my body insisted on what it desired most—Kerian. I undulated against him and he rolled himself onto his back, bringing me over his body. I straddled his hips, not breaking the kiss that was becoming desperate. He had a firm grip on my hips and thrust gently into my crevice. His penis slid soundlessly through my wet folds until he managed to wedge the head of his cock in the opening of my pussy.

I broke our kiss and took his shaft in my hand. He hissed at the contact, closing his eyes and moaning when I stroked him. His penis head was still lodged in my opening when I braced my hands on his chest. My hands fit perfectly on his well-defined pecs, and I couldn't help but run my fingertips across his small, copper-coloured nipples. He gripped my hips tighter, lifting his hips at the same time. I closed my eyes and gave in to the feeling of his cock sliding into my clenching passageway. It was still a tight fit, and he occasionally stopped to give my body time to adjust to him. My pussy walls stretched around him, burning deliciously. I was panting as he pushed into me. I let my head fall back and clenched around his now-fully embedded cock. We both moaned. He lifted me up and brought me back down on his erection. I wasn't surprised at how strong he was. I could feel every inch of his shaft inside me, the feeling of being completely filled almost too much to handle. I grabbed his hands and placed them over my breasts, so that he cupped them fully. He massaged them and tweaked the nipples until they were standing tight and erect. Then I moved on top of him, keeping the pace slow. This position allowed him more deeply inside me, and I liked controlling the movements. I picked up a faster rhythm until I was lifting myself off his body so far, he almost came out of me. I slammed back down on him and groaned. He closed his eyes and threw his head back on the pillow. With every rise I felt his big length slide along my inner walls, and my muscles clenched around him.

"You feel so fucking good. You're so tight and hot."

My mouth fell open in a soundless cry at what he had said. His words had ignited the already intense pleasure I was feeling, cumulating in an explosion. My vagina clenched him tightly as my climax washed through me. Kerian took over the thrusting, pounding into me so my clit hit his body just right. That set off another orgasm, one pleasure rolling into the next. I heard screaming and realised it was coming from me. Our bodies smacked together in the most erotic way. I felt his semen spurt out of him, my muscles clenching around him, sucking it right out of his body.

"That's it, baby. Milk it out of me."

I collapsed on top of him, trying to catch my breath. His fingertips ran over my back, and when I made a move to get off him, he locked his arms around me. I fell asleep on top of him with his penis still inside me. It was a wonderful way to fall asleep.

I woke up again some time later to the feel of Kerian stroking my hair.

"Are you awake?"

His voice was soft and low as he continued to stroke my hair.

"Mmm hmm.” I ran my hand over his chest, pleased when he captured it and twined his fingers with mine.

"Tell me about yourself, Ashliyn."

I didn't say anything for a long time, and he didn't press me. I debated whether or not I should tell him about my past. I cared deeply for Kerian, so deeply I wondered if it were love. I wanted him to know everything about me and vice versa. I didn't know if it were the right thing to do, telling him about my past, but I knew he needed to know. I didn't beat around the bush, just went straight to it.

"I killed my mother when I was sixteen.” I gave him credit, he didn't flinch or recoil, so I took that as I good sign and continued. “I mean, I didn't physically kill her, but I feel like I did. My mother divorced my father when I was five and remarried when I was ten. The guy she remarried, Henry, was great at first. He was nice to us, always doing things out of the blue that made my mom so happy. That eventually changed. He became verbally abusive to my mom—not to me, because I made sure not to be home much. His temper flared at the drop of a hat, and it soon escalated to pushing my mom, then slapping her, then beating her. She went to the hospital more times than I can count. Of course, she invented stories to tell the nurses and doctors as to how she broke her arm in three places, along with her leg and hand. Once, I saw him hitting her and tried to stop it. He pushed me against the wall so hard, he dislocated my shoulder.” I felt Kerian tense at my last confession and press me closer to his body. “I went to the hospital and told them I fell down the stairs. I don't know whether they believed me or not, but they didn't question me.

"All of this took place over the course of a couple of years, and I wanted to go to the police. My mother didn't want that, though. She told me that would only make things worse, and if she could do things right, then Henry wouldn't get mad. It made me angry that my mom was so weak. My father wasn't in the picture anymore, or I would have gone to him. It was as if he had washed his hands of me when he married his new, young wife. One day, I came home and found my mom at the bottom of the stairs. I knew she was dead by the odd angle of her neck. Henry wasn't home, but I knew he had done it. My mother's face was so bruised, if I hadn't known she was my mother, I wouldn't have recognised her."

I felt tears come to my eyes and I stopped talking. I sniffed a little and tried to stem off my tears. I had talked about this with the college psychologist, but I had spoken to him in a clinical, detached way. With Kerian, I was telling him the story with my full feelings involved.

"It's okay, baby,” he murmured gently. “If you don't want to finish, you don't have to."

I wanted to cry at the sincerity in his voice, but knew I needed to tell him the rest.

"They ruled it an accidental death, that the bruises were caused by falling down the stairs. I knew if I'd gone to the police when he first started hurting her, she'd still be alive."

"You can't think that. It wasn't your fault."

Everyone had told me the same thing, but coming from Kerian, I felt he actually meant it, he wasn't just saying it to placate me. “So, one day after school I finally did go to the police. Of course, that got me nowhere. They sent me away, saying there was no case and nothing they could do about it. When I got home, Henry was sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of whisky in front of him. He had looked at me with bloodshot eyes and a look of triumph in his features. He gave me a black eye and a split lip before he was finished with me, though that was pretty tame compared to what he had done to my mother. I found out later he had a buddy at the police station who'd called him and told him what I did. To make a long story short, I went to the media, and some of his old girlfriends and an ex-wife surfaced to confess he'd abused them, too. They testified in court against him and he ended up getting life in prison for murder, with assault charges added later."

I had felt like I'd been rambling, but I felt so much better—freer—now that I'd gotten everything off my chest and had involved my feelings.

"You see, it was my fault in a way. My mother is dead because I wasn't strong enough to go to the authorities sooner."

"Shh, it's not your fault, Ashliyn. If he weren't in prison, I'd kill him with my bare hands for you."

I sat up and looked at him, tears streaming down my face. He brought his hand up and wiped a tear away with his thumb before bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. We made love again after that. Nothing was hurried, and I loosed all my feelings for Kerian as our bodies came together. He touched me like he'd never touched me before. It was an unhurried coupling that had brought tears of happiness to my eyes when we were done. I knew from that moment I was truly in love with him.

I stood in total darkness, only the sounds of my breathing letting me know I still lived. I knew this was a dream again, but even so, it didn't make my fear any less tangible. A light above me shone down, illuminating everything so I was able to see where I was. I stood in my childhood house, poised at the bottom of the stairs. I swallowed in fear because I knew this scene all too well. My mother materialised at the top of the stairs, a bright blue gown wrapped around her body. Her dark hair was pinned up, the same style I had seen her wear so many times before. She took that first step off the landing and I braced myself, sure this would indeed be a nightmare. But she took each step with graceful purpose, never once faltering until she stood on the last one, her warm and caring eyes looking down at me. She smiled and cupped my cheek, and I felt warmth encompass me. Her lips moved, but I couldn't hear her. That was all right. This wasn't a nightmare, I soon realised, but a wonderful, glorious dream.

Bright light started to surround her and I knew my time with my mother was up. She leant in and brought her lips to my forehead. She was gone in the next instant, but I didn't weep. I sat on the stairs, touching my forehead that still tingled from her kiss. I knew this was the last goodbye, that from now on, my life could move forward. I smiled and closed my eyes, willing myself to wake and start my new life.

I woke up in total darkness. My dream played over again in my mind and I clutched my hands to my chest. My heart beat a slow, steady rhythm, and despite everything that had happened, opening up to Kerian had let the demons from my past escape. I was now free. As the previous events with Kerian flashed in my mind, my smile broadened. I stretched and felt sore muscles I didn't even know I had. I looked around, trying to see a clock, and finally spotted one a short distance away. It read 7:45, but I wasn't sure if that was night or day. I assumed after my sleep-fogged mind cleared that it had to be a.m. I moved towards the clock and felt around for a lamp. My fingers skimmed along a smooth surface before feeling the distinct base of a lamp and a pull cord. I pulled on it, pleased when warm light filled the room. I knew Kerian wasn't in the bed even before I turned the light on. The bed was cold except for the spot I'd been lying in. I looked around to see if there was any indication he was still in the room. Nothing looked out of place; everything was in perfect order. I got off of the bed and used the connecting bathroom. I wanted to take a shower badly, but felt a little uneasy doing it when I didn't know where Kerian was, or who else was in the house. I quickly slipped on my dress, but left off the underwear. It had been more for looks then actual comfort. I walked over to the window and pushed aside the ridiculously heavy drapes. I was stunned when the drapes parted and thick steel shutters came into view. I knocked on them and was greeted with a loud thump. I was confused why Kerian would have something so odd on his windows. Still completely confused, I happened to glance at the bed and saw a folded piece of white paper. I picked it up and sat on the bed as I opened it.