The Destroyer Book 4 (81 page)

“Yes.” She nodded.

“It will take me a few weeks to get there. I don’t know exactly how to do the magic either. Can you risk leaving it open for a month or more?”

“No.” Jessmei shook her head. “The empress was correct when she said that the O’Baarni would try to come here. I can feel them pushing against the Radicles like bees flying into a window. They know I am keeping them at bay and I believe they will be able to tell when I release the paths.”

“We fear they might be able to push past Jessmei’s magic. She is still in the process of learning, and even the empress does not fully understand the power, so she is limited in what she can teach Jessmei,” Nadea explained.

“Telaxthe needs you, I see why you have so much leverage.” I nodded and sighed.

“At least until I slip and the O’Baarni pour into this world.” Jessmei smiled and let out a little laugh. “The empress and I are on friendly terms. She has taught me more than I ever thought possible, but the woman has the safety of her race in the forefront of her mind. I am useful to her only as long as I continue to keep her people safe.”

“Then let us hope you can continue to do so for the rest of your life.” They nodded and I leaned back into the cushion of the chair. I had more questions, but I knew I would not like their answers. What choice did I have but to cooperate with the queen? I had already sacrificed so much to find the girl I did not even know but loved beyond measure. I could endure anything for her.

“And you have a plan for my daughter?” They smiled and I noticed a mischievous glint in their eyes.

“I will leave under the guise of heading home,” Nadea began.

“Then I will sneak out of the castle and follow her. Sound familiar?” Jessmei giggled and Nadea smiled. The tension seemed to ease a bit for both of them, but I still felt nervous. I would not be able to relax until my daughter was safe with me. Even then I would spend every minute worrying about her.

“It sounds like you are going to anger a man I know who possesses a bear-like stature.” I risked a smile and they both laughed.

“He needs a good adventure.” Jessmei smirked. “Besides, it will be like old times now that you are here. I could not imagine a safer place than sleeping next to you by a campfire again.” Nadea’s smile faded at her cousin’s words, but I don’t believe that Jessmei noticed.

“We will tell Greykin a few days before we leave. He won’t like it, but I’m the queen.” She smiled. “You will return to the castle with her then?”

“If I refuse? It seems I am at your mercy as I need both of you to bring her back.” Their faces paled slightly. They exchanged a glance.

“I will still tell you her name and if you want, show you how to bring her into the world,” Nadea said finally. Then she looked to the beautiful blonde woman.

“And I will still journey with you and unlock the Radicles so that you can bring her here,” Jessmei said. “I love you, Kaiyer. I know you love me as well. Please return to the castle with me. Become my husband and help me rule this country. I need your support. I need your trust. I need you.” Her eyes betrayed her vulnerability and the look reminded me of when I saved her from the Elvens. To me it had just happened a year ago, but for her it had been over four years. So much had changed, yet she still felt she needed me.

I looked at Nadea and our eyes met. I thought about the life she dreamt of: overseeing the East, working with her people by day, spending her evenings in the keep with her father and me, reading and discussing the events of the day. My heart flipped and squeezed in my chest. I loved both of these women, as I had loved Iolarathe and Shlara, and now that I knew everything that had happened in my past, I felt like I might finally be ready to move forward and start a new life with someone else.

But my child waited for me in the Radicle. She needed me more than Jessmei or Nadea, and my loyalty was to her over any other. She needed my attention and devotion, she needed me to focus on her, not worry about the political situation of a fractured human kingdom. She did not need me to love anyone besides her.

“Do you want me to marry Jessmei?” I asked Nadea.

“Yes. It is for the best.” Her voice came out as a whisper and she looked away. Her heart did not flutter. She spoke the truth.

“You do not love me?” I whispered the question and Jessmei sat up in her chair to stare at her cousin. I wished we were alone. I did not want to have this conversation in front of Jessmei, but the two women were united.

“No, Kaiyer.” Her eyes were glassy and my heart broke in my chest. “You do not love me either. Search your heart. You know that Jessmei will make you happier than I ever could.” Nadea turned her face to Jessmei.

I looked to the queen and her blue eyes met mine from across the small table. Her face was filled with adoration and I remembered the many weeks we spent together in the cave and later in the small dairy town of Merrium. I had once thought that it would be wonderful to spend my life with her.

When I believed Nadea was dead.

My eyes turned back to the woman who woke me from my endless slumber. I wanted to believe that she was lying, it hurt too much to think she did not care anymore, but it would make things easier. I had loved both of these women. Jessmei would make the perfect wife. She was warm and caring and devoted. With her I knew there would be little conflict, there would be warmth and affection. We would have children, and we would be happy. I should have wanted the life she was offering. Just as I should have wanted Shlara.

Now that I was being forced to choose, I knew I loved Nadea.

But she did not love me.

Her eyes betrayed sadness when she told me she did not love me, but perhaps it was simply because she knew her words would hurt me.

I realized I was staring into Nadea’s soft brown eyes and I blinked back the tears forming in my own. I would never know the truth of her feelings. In so many ways, she reminded me of Shlara. Nadea was strong, but she still wrestled with her own demons. I knew she was torn between her sense of duty to her kingdom, her father and the developing relationship she was forming with her estranged mother. I did not fit into her life now and neither would my daughter.

Logic could not ease the pain in my heart. I would never stop loving Nadea. I could hide my feelings from Jessmei. I would have to.

“I will need time to get to know my daughter,” I said to Jessmei. “But I am willing to return here. I love you, and I will do my best to serve you as a husband, but please give me some time to be with her before we marry.”

“Yes, of course!” Jessmei’s dimpled smile shone on her face and I heard her breath leave her lungs with relief. “How much time will you need?”

“I am not sure.” I smiled and almost shook my head. The princess I knew would have let me wiggle out of the question, but the queen before me understood that she needed exact commitments from her people. “I will know more when I meet her.”

I turned to Nadea and wondered what the brief flicker in her eyes meant.

“What is her name?” I finally asked after I regained control of my emotions.

“Vaiarathe,” Nadea said with a smile. The name struck me in the stomach and the room seemed to glow brighter for a few seconds. It felt wonderful to repeat it in my head. Iolarathe had chosen this name for her. It was beautiful and fitting.

“I will have a room prepared for you next to my suites,” Jessmei said to me as she rose from the table. Her ivory dress cascaded down with her hair and she turned to her cousin. “I will inform the empress of my intention to join with Kaiyer. I am excited to see the surprise on her face.”

“She will be horrified, I am sure. How will you play her lie about Kaiyer’s exile?” Nadea asked.

“I shall have to ponder that for some time. We do not need to plan a midnight escape now that I know of her deception. I will tell her I intend to accompany my fiancé; she will be unable to argue.” Jess smiled, Nadea mirrored her grin.

Three knocks sounded evenly on the door. The women did not look alarmed as the door opened. I recognized Greykin’s heavy footfalls.

“The empress and Alatorict are heading this way,” the big man announced.

“Thanks, Greykin. Can you summon Herin for me?” Jessmei asked.

“Yes, Jess.” The big man turned to go but the beautiful queen spoke again.

“Greykin, wait.” He turned back around with a raised gray eyebrow. “Stay here for a few more minutes. Kaiyer and I have some important news for the empress and I believe that you will want to hear it as well.”

“Is that right? Is it good news?” He glanced from Jessmei to me and then to Nadea.

“It is great news,” Nadea said. Our eyes met again and my heart cried.

Her voice sounded sincere.

“Tell him her name!” I screamed at the useless girl, but she and Kaiyer just ran past me without heeding my words.

“You know that tactic won’t work.” Entas lounged on a rock on the edge of the thick jungle. Kaiyer and Nadea had reached a plateau in the canyon. I assumed she wanted to be alone with him so she could tell him about the dreams I had sent her, but she had not mentioned them yet and I was growing impatient with the human.

“She has two weeks to tell him. Why doesn’t she do it?” Frustration clawed at my stomach as if I had swallowed a live rat.

“If only these mortals would just do as we say. The universe would be much easier to manage, don’t you think?” Entas said with his usual playful mockery. I turned to glare at the man but his eyes were closed against the late day sun. One of his bony legs was crossed over the other and the odd man looked like a lounging grasshopper.

I growled at Entas and decided it was best to ignore him again. When we lived amongst the islands and he infuriated me like this, I would leap away to another island and avoid him for a few years. When loneliness overcame me, or I had an idea to discuss with him, I simply summoned the strange little man by shouting his name.

Malek and Nyarathe’s descendent had left my sight by turning past a curve on the top of this plateau. The jungle trees and light gray limestone blurred at my thought and I instantly appeared behind the two of them. I didn’t feel the heat of the high sun, but it was apparent from the sweat coming down the girl’s back that she was working hard to keep up with my lover. As weak as he was from his time in the Radicle, he was stronger than all of these feeble humans.

“Tell him,” I begged again, but the girl did not hear me and I cursed her.

“Kaiyer doesn’t remember his past either. Maybe you should direct your anger at him.” Entas was sitting next to me now.

“Her father was so easy to manipulate. This is beyond frustrating.”

“Maybe it is her Elven side? The last three generations of them have become difficult for you to communicate with.” Entas had told me this many times before and I agreed with him. Nyarathe had understood the dreams I sent her immediately, and my dear sister had done as I asked. She taught the O’Baarni how to use the Radicles so that they could send Kaiyer to this world. I had kept careful watch over her daughters, their children, and the next thirty of their kin until the latest empress gave birth to the idiot girl that stood before me.

“They are speaking.” I shushed Entas and he fell silent.

“Yes. You are fast. I can’t keep up,” the girl said to Kaiyer. The millennia in the Radicle had not been kind to the man. His beautiful face and body had been reduced to a skeleton, his skin stretched painfully over bone and wasted muscle. I feared Vaiarathe would look as ravaged when he rescued her. She had not even eaten a good meal before she left. I prayed there was enough fat on her already thin body for her to survive the suspended state.

“Can we break?” the girl asked breathlessly and Kaiyer offered her a drink. She was so weak. I had waited so long for her to awaken him, now that they were so close, every wasted minute was maddening.

“You lead,” he said.

“Thank you,” she replied, and the girl waded through the stream and continued along the rocky edge of the cliffs next to the jungle. Kaiyer watched her walk and I saw the lust in his green eyes.

“Damn it. She is supposed to tell you about our daughter. Not distract you.” Kaiyer did not hear me, of course. My breath caught when he walked through my ethereal body and his skin swirled around my vision. He still smelled as I remembered and the scent made my head spin with desire.