Precious unraveled her arms from around Michelle’s neck and looked into her face. “Why are you crying, Michelle? Aren’t you happy to be back?”
“I’m not staying, sweetheart. I just came to get my things. I don’t live here anymore.”
“Did I do something wrong? I promise I’ll be good. I promise.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Precious. You’re the best little girl in the whole wide world.”
“Did Daddy do something wrong?” She looked at her father. “Tell Michelle you’re sorry Daddy. Tell her you’re sorry and she’ll stay.”
Michelle glanced at Erik, still standing at the opened door, a watchful fixity on his face. “You’re daddy didn’t do anything wrong, Precious. In fact he did everything right. He’s a good man, and you’re lucky to have him for a daddy.”
“Then why don’t you want to live with us anymore?”
“I do, honey, I do. It’s just that…” She didn’t know what to say. It felt like someone was holding her heart in a padlocked grip and was choking the life out of her. She fought the raw need to collapse right there on the floor. She felt so weak—physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
“Please stay, Michelle. I love you. Please live with us.” Tears spilled down Precious’ face.
Michelle choked at the pain in the child’s heart and the sadness in her eyes as she placed her on the floor. She looked at Erik again, her unspoken requests rushing across the distance between them.
“Go on up to your room, Precious,” he said.
“Please, Daddy. Don’t let Michelle leave.” Precious wrapped her arms around Michelle’s waist and began to cry.
“Erik, please,” Michelle begged in a broken whisper. “Can’t you see she needs me?”
Erik swung away from the door and covered the distance in four long stealthy strides. He forced Precious’ hands from around Michelle’s waist. “She needs her mother. But her mother is dead, Michelle. Dead. And your—”
“Not in front of her, Erik,” Michelle whispered. “Don’t involve her in this.” She knew that eventually Precious would be told the truth about the man who’d killed her mother, but now wasn’t the time. Michelle was grateful that Erik had decided to keep the news of Dwight’s capture private for the moment. And she knew that once it was made public, she might have to go into hiding. The media would be all over her. Erik’s prudence, once again, demonstrated that he still cared about her.
Erik inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly. “You’re right. Mrs. Hayes,” he bellowed.
Mrs. Hayes immediately came rushing into the foyer with a wooden spoon in her hand. “Yes, Doctor.”
“Would you kindly take my daughter to her room?”
“No, Daddy, no!” Precious threw herself on the floor and clung to Michelle’s legs. It took all Mrs. Hayes’ energies to pry her loose and escort her away.
“I’ll come back to see you, Precious. That’s a promise, sweetheart,” Michelle called in a tear-choked voice.
Erik waited until Precious and Mrs. Hayes were out of eyesight and earshot. “You have to stay away from her. I don’t want you calling or coming by here anymore.”
“I wouldn’t abandon her, Erik. I love her. I love her like my own child.”
Her sadness ate away at his guts, but he had no choice. He was torn. He didn’t know what else to do. “She’s not your child, Michelle. She’s Cassie’s child.”
“Erik, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the pain my father caused you and Precious. But please don’t punish me for what he did. Don’t punish Precious. Please.” She wiped at the tears blinding her.
He opened his jacket, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to her.
“What’s this?”
“Annulment papers.”
“Already? Erik, I love you.”
“And I love you, Michelle. God knows I do. But love isn’t enough this time.”
“You once told me that when you truly loved someone, you could forgive them anything.”
“Yes, I did. But a marriage also needs trust to survive. Cassie’s failure to trust me is what really killed her. That day when you told me your father was still alive, I asked you if there was anything else you wanted to share about him. You lied. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me the whole truth. Your not trusting me destroyed our love. Maybe in time, I’ll get over your deception. But for now… Erik’s heart ached at the agony in her eyes. He took a deep breath and turned away from her. “You have to forget about us, what we shared.”
Dear God, he didn’t want to hurt her. But what her father had done was too appalling for him to forgive. All the raw wounds she had helped to heal had been ripped wide open and were bleeding profusely again. He had to forget her. He had to wash her completely out of his mind. And the only way he knew how to do it was to stop seeing her. Period.
“Just sign the papers and mail them to the address on the envelope.”
Michelle watched, broken and defeated, as Erik walked out of her life.
***
Michelle glanced at her ringing cell phone lying on the sofa table. Her heart jumped from fear, hope, and uncertainty when Erik’s name flashed on the LCD. It had been two days since she last saw him and Precious. Had he decided to forgive her? Did he want her back? Or…
“Are you going to answer that?” Yasmine asked, coming from the direction of her bedroom.
“It’s Erik.”
“Then answer it, girl. He might be calling to say he wants you back.”
Or maybe he wants to make sure I signed and returned the annulment papers
. Yasmine still didn’t know they’d been married.
“You want me to talk to him? ‘Cause I’m dying to give him a piece of my mind.”
Michelle grabbed the phone. “No. I’ll handle it.” She walked slowly into her bedroom and closed the door. She took a deep breath, pushed the answer button, and raised the phone to her ear. “Hello,” she said in a shaky voice.
There was a long tense silence.
“Erik,” she said.
She heard his sharp intake of air. “Hi, Michelle.”
Michelle bit into her lower lip to stop the sharp cry of longing from bursting from inside her. Too weak to remain on her feet, she collapsed on the edge of her bed.
“I just called to warn you,” he said.
“Warm me about what?”
“The news about your father has been leaked to the press.”
“Oh, no. What—”
“I’m taking Precious out of the country for a few weeks until the commotion dies down.”
“Where—”
“I suggest you… go somewhere… far… if you don’t want to be eaten by the media vultures. They will be circling soon. They may be on their way as we speak. Use the money I deposited into your account when we got married.”
“Erik—”
“Goodbye, Michelle.”
Long after the phone went dead, Michelle kept it pressed against her ears while her other hand crushed into her chest in an attempt to quiet her thumping heart. Did Erik call to warn her about the impending mayhem because he was really concerned about her, or did he fear what she might divulge to the media vultures about their relationship? It would make him seem like a real jackass for marrying the daughter of the man who’d killed his first wife. She couldn’t blame him for being cautious, concerned. But did he have to be so cold, so abrupt? They had been closer than any two human beings had the right to be, and yet he’d just spoken to her as if she were a mere acquaintance he felt obligated to warn about imminent doom.
Time.
He needed time.
“So what did he want?” Yasmine asked from the opposite side of the closed door.
Michelle pulled herself together and went to open it. “I have to leave town,” she told Yasmine.
Yasmine shook her head in confusion. “What? Why?”
“Somebody leaked the news of my father’s arrest for killing Cassie to the press. Erik called to warn me. He and Precious are leaving the country, and he suggested I go into hiding.” She glanced at her suitcase on the floor in a corner of the unkempt bedroom. “Good thing I didn’t unpack yet.”
“Where will you go?”
“I don’t know. But I can’t stay here. I have to leave Manchester. New Hampshire. Tonight.”
“I don’t think you should be alone in your present state of mind.”
“I’m not going to hurt myself, Yas.”
“I know. I’m just saying. I’d go with you if I could.”
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“Why don’t you call Ryan?” Yasmine suggested. “You guys are still friends, right?”
“Well, we haven’t spoken in months. For all I know, he may have a girlfriend, be engaged or married, and want nothing to do with me. I mean I did reject him.”
“Be realistic, Mich. Nobody gets married in that short a time.”
I did. And I’m about to be divorced
.
***
“I know I didn’t give birth to an idiot,” Felicia said, staring at her son across the coffee table.
“Darling, give the boy a break.” Philippe squeezed her hand that lay on his thigh. “He’s been through a rough patch. It’s a terrible thing that happened between him and Michelle.”
“I know he’s been through hell and back, Philippe. But it’s been two months since the media has left him alone and gone in search of fresher news. He should have been back with Michelle by now, but he continues to punish her, and my… our grandchild.”
Erik looked from his mother to his father. They had summoned him to Granite Falls for an intervention, as they called it, but he’d been in no mood to discuss his relationship with Michelle. He had spoken to no one about her. He couldn’t. It was just too damn painful.
“Erik,” his mother said, turning her eyes on him, “Precious needs Michelle, and so do you. Why don’t you go out and find her, bring her back to us?”
Erik pushed himself out of the recliner, shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks and walked to a floor-to-ceiling window. He stood gazing out at Mount Washington, a massive, impenetrable symbol of the agony in his heart.
Of course he knew Precious needed Michelle.
He needed her, too
. But when he’d returned from Europe to learn that she’d gone running back to her ex, it had crushed him. He’d advised her to leave town, to go someplace far away to escape the frenzy of the press until the news about her father died down. He never for the life of him ever thought she would run right into Ryan’s arms, and be so insensitive as to mail the annulment papers and a check for the money he’d given her from Ryan’s address in South Carolina.
He’d been ready to forgive her, to ask her back into his life, and beg her to forgive his stupidity for cutting her out in the first place. There were a lot of things he could forgive, but knowing she’d returned to her ex-lover wasn’t one of them. The thought of her in another man’s arms, in another man’s bed, was nauseating.
Michelle had made her choice. She had moved on. It was time he accepted it and did the same.
“I’m inviting her to our wedding,” his mother said behind him. “You’ll have to talk to her then, Erik.”
He turned and captured and held her gaze. “You do that, Mother, and I won’t be there.” He marched out of the room.
***
The first few weeks of her two-month refuge in South Carolina had been the worst. Michelle hadn’t been able to eat, sleep, or think, and when she’d finally let something down her throat, it had come back up within minutes. Her malady continued for about five weeks until she was so weak, had lost so much weight, and could hardly stand up that Ryan insisted she see a doctor, and had taken her to one himself.
As Michelle browsed a children’s store in the Mall of New Hampshire with Jessica, her self-appointed personal watchdog, trailing idly behind her, she reflected on that informative doctor’s visit.
“How long have you had these symptoms?” Dr. Nixon asked.
“About a month now.”
“When was the last time you had your period, Michelle?”
Her eyes puckered. “I—I don’t remember.”
“Is it possible that you could be pregnant?”
“Pregnant?” she exclaimed in a stilted voice.
“Well, all the signs are present—nausea, vomiting, appetite and weight loss, fatigue, and most significant of all, no period.”
Michelle uttered a strangled laugh. “There has to be another explanation, Dr. Nixon. Erik… We used protection.”
“Every single time, Michelle? Are you certain of that?”
‘Well, except for that one time, but that—”
“It only takes one time, my dear. One daring energetic sperm and one ecstatic fertile egg and boom, you have a baby.”
Michelle had been speechless. Could she be pregnant with Erik’s child? That last night when he had taken her in Cassie’s house, could he have planted his seed inside her? Could his baby now be growing in her womb?
Trembling fingers had come slowly to caress her flat stomach as the shock of realization hit her full in the face. It was possible. The timing was right. She was going to have Erik’s child. She would forever have a part of him with her. A part far more blessed than any memory.
And yet, four months later, she still hadn’t told Erik that he was going to be a father again. She was certain that if he knew, he’d come back to her, but she didn’t want him back out of obligation. He would have to come to her because he loved her, not merely because she was having his child.
In addition to her baby, she had a lot to live for. The children at the center depended on her. Since her return to Manchester, they’d helped her heal one painful day at a time. They were no substitutes for the special love she had for Precious, but their daily devotion filled her days with contentment.
Her nights were a different story. Since the one hundred and twenty-three nights since she’d learned that the man who’d raised her killed Cassie LaCrosse, Michelle had cried herself to sleep.
She’d held on to the annulment papers for weeks, hoping that Erik would change his mind and realized they belonged together, but when she hadn’t heard from him, she finally signed and mailed them from South Carolina. She’d also mailed him a check for the money he’d deposited into her account. Yasmine said she was foolish to send it back, and that she should keep it for his child who would definitely need it. Erik hadn’t cashed the check, anyway. And she knew he never would. He was quick to take back his love, but not his money.