The Downstairs Maid (32 page)

‘They took advantage of her in the London house,’ Tomas said. ‘She was working all hours. If I had my way she’d tell them what to do with their job.’ He looked about him defiantly. ‘I’m giving in my notice – and if Emily has any sense she’ll do the same.’

‘Well, I shan’t …’ Emily began and then broke off as Mrs Marsh entered the kitchen and looked at her in a slightly disapproving way. She sensed what the housekeeper was going to say and her stomach clenched with nerves.

‘So, Emily, Miss Amy is pleased with you – so pleased that you’re to be her maid in future. She would like you to go up as soon as you’re ready.’

‘Yes, of course, Mrs Marsh.’

‘You’re to be her maid in future?’ Mary was on her feet, eyes flashing with temper. ‘You rotten little sneak!’

Mary flew at Emily, her nails going for her face. Emily grabbed her by the hair and pulled sharply, making her jerk back but Mary spat at her and then started kicking and punching until Tomas dragged her off. She struggled and yelled for a while but he was stronger and finally subdued her.

‘That is a disgusting display,’ Mrs Marsh said. ‘I warned you what would happen if you did it again, Mary. If things were not so difficult I should turn you off at once. As it is, you may consider yourself under notice. I shall give you two months’ wages and you’ll go at the end of the month.’

‘Please, don’t do that on my account,’ Emily said once she’d got her breath back. ‘Mary is upset. I’m sure she won’t do it again.’

‘I don’t want your rotten job much longer anyway,’ Mary snarled. ‘As soon as my lad comes back on leave I’m off. We’re going to be married.’ She rushed past Mrs Marsh and out of the room, clearly in tears.

‘I know she thinks I tried to get the job away from her but I didn’t – Miss Amy asked me and …’ She lifted her head, because she’d decided she would do as Miss Amy wanted. ‘Is it wrong of me to want to better myself?’

‘Mary was entitled to the job, because she’s been here the longest,’ Mrs Marsh said looking grave. ‘However, Miss Amy does what she wants and if she wanted Mary she’d say so.’

‘I still think you’d do better with me,’ Mrs Hattersley said. ‘I’d have taught you a good trade.’

‘I’d better go up to her,’ Emily said. She felt the others still thought she’d done something to make Miss Amy prefer her to Mary and were faintly disapproving.

‘I want to speak to you later,’ Tomas said, giving her an odd look as she passed him.

They had got on well in London and Emily had enjoyed going out with him, but she hoped he wasn’t going to ask her to be his girl, because she wasn’t ready for a proper relationship with anyone just yet. Besides, although he spoke as if he thought something of her, she was sure he wasn’t in love with her. Tomas had plans of his own and Emily suspected that it would suit him if she went along with him.

‘There are some letters here for you,’ Mrs Hattersley said. ‘You may as well take them, Emily. I think one of them is from your father’s lawyers.’

Emily accepted the two envelopes, one of which was bulky and felt as if it contained something more than just a letter. She slipped them into her pocket to read later and ran up the stairs to Miss Amy’s room.

Emily opened the bulky letter first, which had come from her father’s lawyer. Inside was fifty pounds in white five-pound notes and two letters – a brief note from the lawyer and a longer letter from her father. Emily stared at the money, tears stinging her eyes. How hard her father must have worked to save this much for her. She opened his letter with shaking hands.

Emily love
, her father had written.
You’ll know that I’ve given you three times as much as this, because a hundred pounds is what you’ll get for the stock in the barns, if you sell it sensibly. If I’d had more time I should have given you more, but it has taken a lot of scheming to get this much put by. Your mother will have the land and house, as is her right, but I wanted my girl to have something. Jack isn’t my son. I know your mother went with someone else, and she’ll provide for her son
.

I wish I could give you more, love. You’ve always been the light of my life, but I know you’ll make a good life. Christopher has the shop stock. Without his help I wouldn’t have had this to give you. I owe him something and he’ll know what to do with it
.

When you read this I’ll be gone. Have a good life, girl. I love you and I pray you’ll find happiness. Don’t marry until you find the right one. A lifetime is a long time to be regretting your mistakes
.

Your loving father, Joe Carter

Emily felt her eyes sting with tears as she folded her father’s letter. The money would sit in a bank until she needed it but it was the thought of how hard he’d worked to put so much aside for her that brought tears to her eyes and made her throat close with emotion. She wished he hadn’t worked so hard. She would rather be able to go home and see his face than have all the money in the world. Sometimes he’d been harsh with her, but underneath he’d loved her deeply.

Dashing the tears from her eyes, Emily turned to her second letter. She didn’t know the hand for certain but she thought it was from Christopher Johnson.

Dear Emily
, Christopher had written in his flowing script.
I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the funeral but I was in training camp. And what a shambles that is! Half of us don’t have a rifle or the full uniform, but I dare say they’ll sort it out before they send us to fight the Hun
.

I did call at the house to see you when I had a twenty-four-hour leave, but they said you’d gone to London. I hoped to see you before we’re off over there, but I know we shan’t get leave again before then. I hope you will write to me. I’ll write first when we get settled and then you’ll know where to write back
.

You must be upset over your Pa and it’s too soon to ask you to think of marriage. I wanted to tell you to your face how I feel. I would’ve taken my time if it hadn’t been for the war but it all happened so quick. I’ve wanted to tell you for months but I’ve nothing much to offer you. Your father left me some stuff and it will fetch a few pounds one day when I can repair it. My father is going to store it for me until after the war. Maybe I’ll have a little shop again then. Until then I don’t have the right to ask you to be my wife, but I wanted you to know my heart just in case. I love you, Emily. I should like us to marry one day, but I know now isn’t the right time
.

If I come home safe and make a home for us – will you think about being my wife? You’re the girl for me and always have been. If I hadn’t been afraid to speak I’d have asked before, but I wanted to put a bit by first
.

I love you, Emily. If you like me a little bit perhaps you’ll write back when you have my next letter
.

Take care, my love, and don’t grieve for your Pa too much. He loved you and he would want you to be happy. Christopher. XXX

Emily could feel the tears running down her cheeks. She’d guessed that Christopher liked her but she hadn’t dreamed he would write her a letter like this and it had come just when she needed a little cheering up.

She smiled as she folded it and put it into the old writing box her father had given her as a present once. It had a secret drawer and she slipped her money inside to keep it safe until she could get to the Post Office to deposit it in the savings account she’d started in London.

Christopher’s letter had touched her and she had plenty of time to make up her mind before he came home.

‘It’s such a beautiful night,’ Amy turned to her companion with a smile. The air was warm, scented with jasmine and honeysuckle, both of which grew over the sheltering walls. ‘I’m glad we came out for a little air, though I know Mama will quiz me about you later.’

Her senses were alert to him, because his nearness excited her. She had been amazed when he’d offered to drive her down and even more so when he accepted her invitation to stay for a few days. Despite his show of bad humour because Emily had been ill on the drive down, her fascination with this man had not abated. She wasn’t sure what it was about him that made her spine tingle but she knew that no other man of her acquaintance had made her feel this way. All the young men her family had introduced to her seemed to pale into insignificance. Yet she knew that he was dangerous and doubted that her parents would approve even had he offered marriage, which she thought unlikely after his outrageous suggestions to her at that infamous party.

‘I imagine you can handle your mama,’ Belvane said, smiling at her. He took out his cigar case and extracted a cheroot, then offered the case to her and smiled when she declined. ‘Still not ready to take the plunge?’

The mocking tone of his voice stung her, making her lift her head to meet the challenge. ‘Just because I do not wish to smoke those doesn’t mean I’m a prude.’

‘Doesn’t it?’ Belvane threw the cheroot away unlit and reached her into his arms. He gazed down into her face for a moment, then bent his head and kissed her. His mouth was so demanding, his hold on her so firm, that Amy’s head swirled. She had never felt this way in her life and her breath came faster as he finally released her. For a moment she felt as if she would faint, but something in his eyes brought her sharply back to herself. She knew she was trembling as she drew back.

‘You shouldn’t have done that …’

‘Shouldn’t I? It seemed wholly pleasurable to me, for us both.’ He touched her cheek with his fingertips. ‘Come to Russia with me, Amy. Run away with me tonight. I’ll settle money on you. Even if I were an utter rotter you would still have your independence – but I promise you, I’ve no intention of leaving you in distress. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman.’

‘You want me for your mistress.’ Amy raised her head, gazing into his eyes. Her pride was stung that he should think her fit only for his mistress. ‘Is that all you want – a brief affair? Why not marriage?’

‘I might have asked you, had I been able,’ Belvane replied, an odd twist to his mouth. ‘Unfortunately for us both, my dear, I have a wife.’

Amy felt as if she’d been showered with ice. ‘No one told me. Nicolas didn’t warn me that you were married.’

‘Very few people know,’ Belvane replied. ‘My wife is a minor member of the Russian royal family, a distant cousin of the tsar. She is seventeen and we were married by proxy a year ago, though as yet we haven’t lived together as man and wife. Our parents made the match and neither of us was given a choice.’

‘Good grief. I thought that sort of thing belonged to the dark ages – except for royal families …’ Amy paused. ‘Yes, I see. She is, of course, and you’re wealthy. I suppose it was thought a good match for her.’

‘My father and hers were great friends. It was my father’s dearest wish. He was dying and I felt I had no option but to agree to the match. It hardly seemed to matter … most of my family have married for money or land.’

‘It isn’t so very different in my family. I was given a choice but the expectations were there. I dare say my parents imagine I shall find someone suitable when I’m over the break up with Arthur.’

He looked at her in the darkness, his eyes glittering in the faint light of a shadowed moon. She watched his mouth curl in scorn, as if disappointed that she was so conventional, so tied by her family’s morals.

‘Shall you conform?’

‘No, at least not for ages. I want to live in London, be independent for a while.’

‘You won’t throw your hat over the windmill and come with me?’

‘You know I can’t. It’s too shocking.’

Yet how she longed to do as he asked. Every fibre of her being was alive with feeling, with a longing for the kind of life she might have with him – the excitement he could show her. For a moment she was tempted but the influence of her upbringing was too strong.

‘Yes, I suppose it is for you. You know how tense things are in Europe at the moment?’ Amy nodded. ‘I shall return to Russia and I shall probably volunteer to fight for my country. I haven’t decided yet. I might join the RFC in England instead.’

‘You think of Russia as home?’

‘My grandmother was Russian. Her father was a duke – Helena and I are cousins many times removed. I have divided loyalties. Should I fight here or there? It is a decision I must make.’

‘I hate all this talk of war. I wish it was over.’

‘Come to Russia with me while there is still time to have fun. We should make glorious love, Amy. My father is dead but Mama is alive. She would acknowledge you as her friend and my mistress. I will give you furs and jewels, beautiful homes to live in.’

‘None of those things matter. If we loved each other … but I do not know you, Belvane. I’m sorry but what you ask is impossible.’

‘I knew it would be,’ he said and took out another of his thin cigars, lighting it this time. The smoke curled from his lips, disappearing on the slight breeze. ‘Such a shame that you weren’t ready. We might have been good together.’

‘Perhaps.’ Amy felt a pang of regret. Something deep inside her told her that she was throwing away a chance … something precious that might never come her way again. She wished that she had the courage to run away with him, but she was afraid of losing her friends and her family. ‘If you ever return to London …’

‘The moment will be lost,’ he said and smiled. ‘I shall leave the day after tomorrow. You are still too much your mother’s child, Amy. One day you will realise what you’ve lost. I hope you find fulfilment in other ways.’

‘Do you have to go?’ She felt a surge of fear, because she sensed she had lost him and she wanted to hold him, yet knew he wasn’t the kind of man she could dangle on a string until she was ready. Her hand touched his arm, her look intent as she gazed up at him in the shadowed moonlight. ‘Would you have married me if you hadn’t been married already?’

‘Perhaps. Who knows? I do not deal in what might have been.’ He drew on his cheroot and then flicked it away into the shrubbery. ‘We should go in, before your mama sends someone to see if I’ve abducted you.’

‘I’m not a child.’