The Family (12 page)

Doc laughed. “How is your head, by the way?”

“It’s been good. No headaches for the last three days,” Twig answered. Everything in her wanted to ask Doc about her follow-up scan, the one Dr. Young had insisted occur after a month. But she was scared. The question sat in her throat, unable to come out. Would Doc see the question as her questioning his judgment?

“So tell me about this spinning.” Doc motioned for Twig to join him and headed toward a large oak table that served as his desk. He took a seat in a big chair behind the desk. The chair made him seem even taller and skinnier. Twig sat in one of the chairs facing him.

Twig knew she couldn’t divulge too much, but it might be nice to talk to someone about things. Maybe get some perspective. Step back into the Family process of openness a little bit. Hiding her feelings all the time was exhausting. Maybe Doc was genuinely concerned about her. He had been very helpful the night of her accident. Of course, she could never talk to him about what she had learned from Dr. Young. If he knew that she harbored any doubt about Adam’s teachings, she would be punished. If he knew she suspected he and Adam might be liars, well, she didn’t even want to think about what they would do to her. Not only that, but she could be seen as a threat. What would happen if they
were
lying, and she exposed the truth? She doubted that anyone would believe her, but what if they did? Would the other members of the Family simply feel betrayed? Would they try to leave? No—they wouldn’t believe her. Twig wasn’t even sure what she believed herself. Many of the Family members had joined the collective after years on the outside. Wouldn’t some of them know? Maybe they had tucked it away. But Twig couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was Dr. Young who was in the wrong.

But Twig could talk to Doc about her engagement, at least in a way. “Well, getting married seems so adult,” Twig said, testing the waters a bit.

Doc nodded. “Indeed. And where do you see yourself in terms of adulthood?” Twig frowned. Doc considered for a moment. “Let me say it another way,” he added. “If life is a big journey, beginning in childhood, moving through adulthood and beyond, where are you on that journey right now?”

Twig thought about Doc’s question. It was an interesting way of framing what she’d been feeling lately.

“I’m a citizen of childhood with my bags packed, and I’m about to cross the border into adulthood. No, wait, that’s not quite accurate. I’ve taken trips into adulthood, met the people, eaten some of the food, but I still live in the other village. Maybe something like that.” Twig shrugged shyly.

Doc’s eyes remained sober, but he smiled. Twig wasn’t sure if he was just socially awkward or if he was thinking one thing and saying another.

“Okay, and how do you like this new village and its people and its ways?”

Twig took a deep breath. The adults in her life all seemed a bit nuts lately, if she really thought about it.

“It seems complicated.”

“How so?” Doc pressed. This is what he was looking for. Any kind of criticism or doubt. She had to be careful.

“Well, one minute Adam is happily married to Tina, and the next she’s supposed to step aside, and I’m supposed to marry him.” Twig knew she was out on a limb here.

“And how do you feel about that?” Doc’s voice was deceptively neutral, as if he had no investment in how she answered either way, but Twig knew better. Doc worshipped Adam. She put her guard back up.

“Well, Adam knows best. So I feel good about it,” Twig said. “It just takes some getting used to.”

“Right. Yes of course. Good, good.” Doc held his chin between his index finger and his thumb. “Now, Twig, what does marriage mean to you?”

The question took Twig by surprise. So much so that she answered honestly, without reservation.

“It means love. Two people who love each other decide to join together in order to pursue and create the life they want to live, together. It means the power of two.”

“That’s a very romantic vision of love for someone who has grown up seeing arranged marriages.” Doc’s tone was curious, not critical.

“Is it?” Twig responded. It had just come out of her naturally. But what he said made sense. And now it made sense why her engagement didn’t feel right any longer. There was no choice for her, and at this point, no love. Now that she thought about it, she couldn’t imagine ever loving Adam like
that
. In her vision, two people created their life together. Adam had already created his life and now was forcing her to fit into it.

“Just one more thing, Twig.” Doc was drumming the fingertips of his long, pale hands on the table. Twig was relieved he wasn’t pursuing his current line of questioning.

“Sure,” Twig said.

“What about San Jose, the hospital?”

“What about it?”

“The boy you were talking to.”

Twig felt her stomach clench. Leo.

“Adam already talked to me about that,” Twig said quietly.

“I know, I know. Humor me.”

“Well, I met him and his sister in the hallway. They were nice,” Twig answered.

“That’s all? Nice?” Doc furrowed his silver eyebrows, raising one slightly above the other. “Did that surprise you?”

“I was pretty out of it. I didn’t really think about it,” Twig lied.

Doc chuckled softly and pulled back in his narrow seat. “Okay, Twig. Okay. I think that’s enough for today. Is there anything else you want to talk to be about? Anything else about that night? Now’s the time.”

Oh, yes! One more thing! I almost forgot… I want to talk to you about how disease is really transmitted.
I want to talk to you about the cell phone Adam carries, and who he called on it. His watch, and why he had one
.

“I’m good. Thank you, Doc,” she said instead. “And thanks for this.” Twig held up her wrist. She started to get up out of the chair. Doc remained seated.

“You’re welcome, Twig. Now, remember what we talked about. You can always come to me.”

Twig walked out of Doc’s cottage and let out a big sigh. She was glad to be out of there. If she hurried, she could make meditation before the Meeting. She needed it. As she quickened her pace to cross the compound to the meditation room, she passed Maya working in the garden. Twig stopped and cupped a big purple orchid to her nose. She inhaled its perfume.

“I love this smell,” she said.

Maya stopped working for a moment and pushed her hat back on her head.

“I know. They are beautiful. I can still picture how you did Rose’s hair for her wedding. We should all go around every day with flowers in our hair like that, dontchya think, honey?”

“Yes,” Twig agreed enthusiastically. “No nursing our wounds today?” Twig asked casually as she fingered a vine of tomatoes.

“Nope. Doc gave me the day off. Thought I’d just work out here and enjoy the sunshine for a change.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Twig put her newly exposed wrist behind her back. She didn’t want Maya to know she’d just been to see Doc. Obviously, Doc hadn’t wanted Twig to know that Maya wasn’t coming into his office today.

Twig wasn’t surprised.

21

The plan was to meet Avery at the stables. Before they went to bed the night before, Avery had whispered to meet her there after lunch. Avery would secure permission from Farriss for the two of them to ride out together. Twig didn’t know where Avery would take them, but as she walked toward the stables, she felt better than she had in a while. Her belly was full from lunch, it was hot but not impossibly humid, and while her wrist looked small and weak, it actually felt fine.

When Twig reached the stables, no one was around. The air was moist but not unpleasant. She went to Sapphire’s stall to wait for Avery. Adam’s voice crept through the sawdust and the hay.

They play god. They use drugs and technology to decide when and if to have children. I know this is disgusting, but you need to know these things, Family. They go into the mother’s protective, sacred womb, and they kill the unborn! You need to know what lies outside of our perfect world.

“You look good, Sapphy.” Twig ran her hand gently down Sapphire’s velvet muzzle and put her head in the horse’s massive neck. Sapphire pressed back into Twig, returning the hug. “Farriss is taking good care of you.”

“Hi, Twig.” Avery had walked up behind her.

“Hi, Mom.” Twig cupped Sapphire’s mouth between her hands. Sapphire licked her with her big pink tongue.

“Ready?”

“Ready. Where are we going?” Twig whispered.

“I’ll tell you on the way. Come on.”

“Are we still riding?”

“Definitely. It’s a ways away, and we can use the horses as an alibi if we need one.”

“Alibi?” Twig croaked. “Are we doing something we shouldn’t be, Mom?”

“We are.”

Twig frowned. “Maybe we should think this through…”

“It’s okay. I’m going to take Bill Evans.”

The name made Twig giggle and distracted her. “I can never get used to that name.”

“Come on. I’ll tell you where it comes from.” The two women walked the horses out of their sleeping stalls and saddled them.

“Just act natural,” Avery said, looking around as they walked the horses away from the stables and into the forest.

“Okay,” Twig said, feeling very unnatural all of a sudden.

“There once was a jazz musician named Miles Davis. He made an album called
Kind of Blue
. If you cared about jazz music at all, you knew it.” Avery stopped speaking for a moment, looking wistful. Twig wished she knew what memories this had triggered for Avery. She wished she could watch the movie in Avery’s mind for a moment.

“What is jazz?”

“Eek. How do I describe jazz? Hmm…” Avery squinted her eyes. “It started in the south, the southern United States, in the black communities. It’s a little bluesy—which means nothing to you, of course… It’s earthy and rhythmic and about improvisation and it’s filled with horns and pianos and I’m not doing it justice at all.”

“It’s okay,” Twig said. “It sounds interesting. Did you like it?”

“Yes, very much. It takes incredible talent to play jazz music, and there’s a whole
feeling
that goes with it. It can be moody and sexy or complicated and intellectual. Anyway, Bill Evans played piano on
Kind of Blue
. He’s an amazing musician. A poet, really.”

“So Farriss named a horse after him?”

“Farriss loved jazz and knew everything about it.”

“Why do you think Adam doesn’t want us to listen to jazz?”

They were deeper into the rainforest now. Twig could feel her dress begin to cling to her as the air became wet and heavy. Still, she felt like she could breathe better. It had been a month since she’d been out here. She’d missed the colors, the textures. Avery seemed to be considering Twig’s question, or how much she wanted to offer in answer to it.

“It’s too provocative. Or he thinks it is,” Avery finally said in response to Twig’s question. Then she laughed. “It’s ridiculous. I mean, I can see his point that rock makes you want to get it on.”

“Mom!”

“Sorry.” Avery was laughing. “I just haven’t had a conversation about art in so long. Guess I got a bit carried away. Anyway, maybe jazz is too much about individualism and improvisation for Adam. Although it is so much about collaboration, too. Who knows? Really, who knows?”

“I didn’t know you knew so much about music, Mom. That’s really cool.” Twig thought of Leo and Hazel and their iPod Nanos and dancing.

“Well, I always loved music. I don’t know that I really know so much about it. Not like some people.” Avery’s wistful look returned. This time Twig wondered
whom
Avery was thinking about.

They rode on in silence for a while, both absorbed in thought. They maintained a good clip.

“We’re here.”

Twig looked up, sorry she’d been daydreaming when she could have been asking Avery more questions. They were standing outside what looked like a tunnel made of overlapping and interlacing tree branches. The foliage was dense and the tunnel wet with vegetation.

“Where are we?” Twig asked.

“I want you to meet someone,” Avery answered.

“Someone?
Who? I don’t understand.”

Avery took a deep breath. She seemed nervous.

“Look, you know I’ve had a hard time, Twig.”

Twig nodded.

“Well, I wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for this person.”

“Mom, what are you talking about? Where are we? What is this?” Images flashed in Twig’s mind: Family members screaming at her, her hair in the blades of Adam’s silver scissors. Being locked in a room with no food or company for days. “Maybe we should just turn back.” Twig was scared.

“Just follow me.” Avery said.

They steered their horses toward the tunnel and disappeared into the strange dripping world of greenery and twisted foliage.

22

The tunnel led to an open field. The ground was yellow with a combination of flowers, leaves and weeds. The field was expansive and bright with sunlight. The forest seemed to part for this land of yellow and light.

Avery spoke first.

“This is where I go, where I have gone for a long time.”

Twig gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

“You sneak out in the mornings. Well, I sneak out when I can, too. And this is where I go when I do.”

“And sometimes you get caught.” It made sense now why Avery was always getting punished.

“Yes, and sometimes—many times—I get caught. But they never know where I’ve gone. They just know I’ve not been where I’m supposed to be. There aren’t many cracks to slip through in our lives, as you know. But to this day, they don’t know I come here.”

“Do they know this place exists so close to the compound?”

A small house made of dark, stained wood and large glass windows stood at the end of the field. It looked like a piece of art, modest but stunning. Highly stylized compared to the white clapboard cottages where the Family lived.

“No,” Avery said plainly.

“How could this be here? How did you find it? Who lives here?” The questions were spilling out of Twig. She was equally shocked by the beauty and strangeness of the place and finding out her mother had some sort of secret life. “Do you have a lover?”