The Family (10 page)

“Father, it was me. It was me who brought on these attacks.”

Adam approached her. “Continue,” he said.

She looked down at Adam’s feet and kneeled before him.

“Speak,” he said softly.

“I was just tired. So very tired. The work in the fields the last few days, the heat and lack of sleep—”

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you were complaining, Anna,” Adam said sweetly. He got down on one knee and raised her chin to face him. “You wouldn’t be complaining, would you, dear?”

“Ada—Father—I,” she took a deep breath. She was trembling with fear. “I don’t mean to complain, I’m sorry. I just—I know it is my fault.” She began to cry.

“Tell us,” he said gently, prodding her to continue. “Whatever it is, confess it now.”

“I wished I hadn’t come here,” she finally sobbed. “In my mind, I wished I had never come. Wished this place had burned to the ground.” She dropped down to her knees. “Forgive me. I was just so tired. I missed home. It’s all so new, I—”

“That’s enough.” Adam silenced her. He stood back up, looking down at her with disgust. Convulsing with sobs, Anna grabbed at Adam’s shoes. He was so angry, Twig was scared he might kick her in the face. Twig was wide-eyed, staring at the poor young woman. She forgot her own pain and fatigue, watching the agony that was ripping through Anna.

“So it was your treacherous thoughts that have brought the enemy out tonight?”

“Yes,” Anna said quietly.

Twig’s conversation with Dr. Young popped into her head. She suddenly felt suspicious. People around her began to stand. They looked angrily at Anna, ready to attack. Adam held up his hand.

“You were brave to admit this,” he said to Anna. “But if we are infiltrated tonight, of course you will never be forgiven. You will be responsible for the deaths of all those you see around you.” Adam let his hand drop, and people started swarming around Anna. They began to kick her, spit on her, pull her hair. Twig watched Adam walk across the dining hall and go outside again, leaving Anna to the crowd.

With a sudden impulse to help her, Twig moved to get up, but she was too dizzy to stand. What would she have done, anyway? Anna fell into a fetal position on the floor, balling her hands into fists to protect them as people stepped on her fingers. She covered her face, holding her head in her hands, curling inward as she took the abuse. Before today, Twig would have hated witnessing this, but on some level she would have thought it was a necessary evil. She had believed Adam when he said punishments like this ultimately healed people. But Dr. Young had planted a seed of doubt that was quickly taking root in Twig’s head.

What if there were no attackers outside? What if these rituals, these punishments, were just meant to scare people? Just like the virus. She was tired and in pain. She didn’t know what she was thinking; she couldn’t trust herself right now.

But in this moment, whether it was what Dr. Young had said, or her lack of sleep, or the pain medication, she couldn’t bear watching this beating. She began to shake and didn’t try to fight it. She let her body go into tremors. Tremors of doubt, tremors of fear, tremors of anger. She let it all radiate from the core of her being until it spread through her whole body, shaking her violently. She writhed on the floor.

“Doc!” Avery screamed. “She’s having a seizure!” The crowd turned away from Anna to see what was happening. “It’s from her head injury; she’s having a seizure!” Avery screamed. Doc ran to Twig.

“Lay her on her side,” he shouted as he moved through the crowd toward them. Avery pushed Twig onto her side, making sure she didn’t roll Twig onto her cast and injured arm. Twig let herself be pushed. She continued to act out the convulsions. It felt freeing, and it was working. She could tell Anna was no longer the center of attention. She felt Doc press her lips and jaw open with his long, cold fingers. He held her mouth apart. Having his hands near her mouth shocked her. She wanted him to stop, so she let the tremors subside. She kept her eyes shut as Doc and Avery tried gently to revive her.

“I’m okay,” she finally whispered. “I just need to sleep. I just need sleep.” Doc was putting pills in her mouth, and Avery carefully made her swallow them with water. They held her mouth shut to make sure she took them. Somewhere between faking and genuine fatigue, sleep finally overtook her.

18

Twig woke up the next morning, her head and body aching. She was in her own bed. The room was bright with warm sunlight but eerily quiet. She had the horrifying thought that everyone else had died last night, and she was the only one left. She nearly laughed with relief when Rose entered the room a moment later.

“How are you today?” Rose said kindly, her eyes red-rimmed with fatigue.

“What happened last night? The attack? Is everyone okay?”

“Yes, yes. When the sun came up, Adam came and got us. They went away. Nobody was hurt.”

Twig thought of Anna. “The new girl. Is she okay?” Twig asked.

“She is. Adam held her for a long time after the…” Rose paused. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. “…the beating. He told us he was proud of her for her honesty. That she was brave.” Twig nodded. She wanted to change the subject all of a sudden. The whole thing made her feel sick.

“Thanks for being here for me, Rose. But where is my mom?”

“She was on breakfast duty, and she never came back,” Rose whispered, frowning. “Doc told my mother and me to take care of you for the day. That’s all I know.” Twig felt her stomach plummet with loneliness at hearing that her mother wasn’t there.

“Oh! Speaking of Doc, you have to take your medicine and you have to eat,” Rose said suddenly. “He’ll be by to check on you today.” She left the room and returned with some pills, a glass of water, and a small meal of applesauce and broth. Twig was exhausted by the time she got some of the food down.

After her small meal, she fell back to sleep. She was in and out of consciousness all day. Each time she woke up, she was given a pill. She asked for her mother, but Avery was never there.

When Avery did finally return to the cottage, it was night. Twig felt more awake than she had all day.

“The great goddess decides to grace us with her presence,” Evelyn muttered, leaving the room as Avery came in.

“Hi,” Avery said softly. “How are you? Doc said you had a good day. No more seizures.” She sat on the edge of Twig’s bed.

Twig frowned at her, biting her lip, which had begun to tremble. The pills and the pain were making her so weepy. “Where were you?” Twig asked quietly. She wanted to tell her mother about faking the seizure, but right now she wanted to know where she’d been all day. Why she had left her.

“I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the day,” Avery said loud enough for Evelyn to hear as she smoothed out Twig’s blankets in a gesture of tenderness.

You got caught up in the day?” Twig said, tears starting to fill her eyes. “How could you leave me all day, Mom?” Twig asked, starting to sniffle, feeling sorry for herself.

Avery looked around before she leaned closer to Twig and whispered, “They said I had to perform my duties today, that I couldn’t stay with you. Doc said if I decided to disobey I would be punished, and that would mean even more time away from you.”

“Oh, Mom,” Twig groaned.

“How are you? How are you feeling? I was dying not being able to get back here to you. They made me stay after dinner and write an essay about the evils of capitalism. I’m keeping it together pretty good, wouldn’t you say? If it weren’t for being worried about you, I would have buckled for sure with everything that’s happened in the last few days.”

The last few days. Avery spoke as if everything had happened to her and not Twig, but Twig knew what she meant. Avery was doing her best, and she probably hadn’t slept for forty-eight hours now that Twig thought about it. Avery wasn’t used to being needed, and Twig wasn’t used to needing her.

“I’m going to be really honest with you, Twig. As you know, I am not naturally maternal or great at nurturing other people, but I am trying. I want to be here for you; please know that. Sometimes I want to be a better mother, but I get stuck. It’s like I am behind a thick curtain and I can’t get to you. I know, it doesn’t make sense,” Avery said softly. Her face was drawn with fatigue.

Twig studied her mother. She was happy she was getting some sort of explanation. Usually Avery just retreated into one of her moods and that was that. Live with it.

Twig’s anger was fading. She was relieved to have Avery back, and she was very happy that Avery had performed her duties today and had not gotten punished.

Avery leaned very close to Twig, pretending she was going to kiss her. “When you get the cast off, I’m going to take you somewhere. No matter what happens until then, just know we have that date. Okay?”

“A date? Okay,” Twig said quietly. She would have been more excited and curious, but sleep was overtaking her once again. “Mom. I have a lot of questions about a lot of things,” Twig mumbled.

Avery put her finger to her lips. “Shh,” she said, gently stroking Twig’s forehead. Her touch was so soothing and Twig couldn’t fight the pull of sleep. Her questions would have to wait.

19

The next afternoon, Rose and Thomas came to get Twig to take her to a Meeting. She had been asleep when they came.

“Adam said it is just the thing you need.” Thomas smiled at Twig.

She’d only been home from the hospital for a day. She couldn’t even walk by herself yet. Rose helped her to get out of bed and dressed. Twig had a bad headache.

“Can I have one of my pain pills before we go, Rose?” Rose was brushing Twig’s hair. Avery and Evelyn were out performing their duties.

“Adam said no more pain pills. He said they are very addictive and that you’ve had enough of them,” Rose said, not unkindly.

“Oh,” Twig said. She took a deep breath. “Can I have a cold washcloth and a glass of water? Do you mind, Rose?” She could get through the pain, but she hoped he would not take her anti-seizure medication away before she finished them. The idea of a
real
seizure terrified her.

“Of course not!” Rose hopped off the bed and went to get Twig a glass of water and a washcloth.

* * *

Fifty-seven of the Family’s children and teenagers, ranging from ages twelve to eighteen, sat in chairs spread out in a giant circle. Yasmine oversaw the youth Meetings. “Before we begin,” she started, “Twig, how are you feeling? Adam and Doc said you are doing great.”

Twig smiled and nodded. “I’m okay,” she said quietly. She couldn’t openly contradict Adam and Doc, but she would hardly say she felt great.

“Fantastic. Way to make a speedy recovery. So, who would like to begin today?” Yasmine asked, addressing the group.

Twig knew what was going on: Illness was often thought of as laziness, and laziness was not tolerated. People were supposed to bounce back as soon as possible. Tough it out whenever they could. Infections caused by the outside world virus needed to be treated by Adam. For everything else, any sickness that was picked up in daily Family life was something you should be able to fight off with your mind. And if you didn’t, if you became really sick, you had failed. Doc always helped as much as he could with his medicines, but ultimately, the choice to be healthy was yours.

“I would.” Kamela stood up. She smoothed her dress and put her dark hair behind her ears. “I have a problem with Twig. And I would like to make sure that she is not carrying the outside world virus. I don’t know where they took her when she fell, but I for one need to be reassured that she is not going to infect all of us. Did you see her the night of the attack? It was like she was possessed by demons.” People in the group nodded, signifying they shared Kamela’s concern.

“Okay, excellent. Thank you, Kamela. I’m glad you voiced something we are all probably thinking. I have verification from Adam that Twig is perfectly healthy and that her health has not been compromised in any way. She is safe to be around. Now, Twig, Kamela, please enter the circle.” This time, Twig did not feel ashamed the way she had when Adam had performed healing rights on her, the last time the Family had stared at her with fear in her eyes. Instead, her mind was churning. How was the outside world virus supposed to work, anyway? Why wouldn’t she have caught something at the hospital? Adam said she was safe because he had purified her a couple of nights before. So did his ceremonies serve as vaccinations, like Dr. Young had spoken about? For how long? A few days? A lifetime?

Twig stood up slowly. Her head was still pounding. She kept trying to take deep breaths to stop the pain. She rubbed her scalp with the hand that wasn’t casted. Ryan came to her side. “Let me help you. Are you okay?”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I think she will need a chair,” Ryan appealed to Yasmine.

“Of course. Please bring one for yourself, too, Kamela,” Yasmine said. Once the girls were seated, Yasmine looked at them expectantly. “Confessions, please. Twig, Kamela, please begin.”

“That is why I am up here,” Kamela said angelically. “I have been having very unkind thoughts toward my sister Twig.” Kamela widened her eyes to feign innocence.

“Go on,” Yasmine encouraged her.

“I think Twig thinks she is better than everyone else. I think she is a tramp who seduced my father to take him away from my mother. I am so sorry to use this language, Family. Forgive me, but I must speak the truth.”

“Does anyone else share these feelings?” Yasmine posed the question to the room.

“I think Kamela should be punished for talking like that. Twig is going to be our new mother.” There were so many onlookers, and Twig felt so sick, she couldn’t tell who had spoken.

“I agree with Kamela.” That voice was unmistakably Kamela’s best friend, Schuyler. “I hate how Twig acts so innocent, but she seduces your father when you’re not looking.”

Before Twig could defend herself, Caleb, a pimply fifteen-year-old boy, spoke. “Kamela is no angel, and she is definitely not as smart or as caring as Twig.” Twig was surprised to hear anything remotely nice come out of Caleb’s mouth. Usually his contributions to meetings were mean and provocative.