Authors: Marissa Kennerson
And, finally, she began to attend Verdant Green classes. They felt more like rituals than classes. First there was a rather medical discussion about sex and reproduction. Then Yasmine would read different passages about marriage and love from varied sources: some poetry (which Twig loved and had never heard before), or a big, satin-covered book that Yasmine called her book of romance. There were drawings in it that made Rose and Twig blush and giggle nervously. Rose would sweetly tell stories about Thomas and her. Twig would mostly listen, taking it all in. She thought about Leo even though she knew she was supposed to be learning how to please Adam. What was she going to do? The thought of having sex with Adam clawed at the back of her brain. Would it hurt? Could she get out of it? Thinking of it reminded her of swimming in one of the rivers on the compound, her legs dangling deep in the blackness, never really knowing what was underneath the surface of the water.
And Adam was there waiting for her after class. Every time. They would exchange a few words as he linked his arm in hers and walked her to her next activity. She had found a way to be around him. She let the fight seep out of her. She smiled. She laughed. She let him look deep into her eyes. And she watched it all from above.
* * *
The next time Twig met Leo, they explored Turrialba. Popping in and out of stores, buying cups of coffee and cookies, Twig began to feel less inhibited, less awkward. Knowing there was no virus, she ate and drank with abandon. She spoke to shop keepers with the few Spanish words she knew. She was emboldened by the adventure of it all. Her heart soared. Feeling more comfortable, she turned the questions on Leo.
He grew up in Santa Monica and had just graduated high school. He was going to Yale to study architecture. Maya Lin was one of his heroes. Music was his life. Surfing was his other life. He talked about being half black and half white, living in two worlds. His mom was African American and from what he described as an evangelical, Protestant family. “Church folk,” he smiled. His dad was white, Jewish, and from Los Angeles. Living in two worlds. Lately, Twig could relate.
They got in an argument about politics. Leo said his politics were liberal, and that he was a patriot through and through. He dug his country. This rubbed at Twig a little bit. She couldn’t help it after everything she’d been taught about the United States over the years.
“Remember when we said we could just say it if we had something awkward that we needed to say?”
“Shoot.”
“Well, doesn’t the rich elite in your country own over 40% of the wealth? Aren’t people starving in your country while other people wear $500 dollar shoes and drive cars that cost enough to educate an illiterate person and send them to college?” She felt a little accusatory, but she was still very skeptical about America, regardless of how she felt about Adam.
“That’s a pretty simplistic view.” Leo was obviously annoyed by what she had said.
“What do you mean?”
“What you said is true, but there’s inequality everywhere. I’m willing to bet that, pound for pound, America has probably given more people the opportunity for a better life than any other country in the world. We’re not perfect, and we have our problems, but by and large Americans are decent people who care about their neighbors and their kids. There are parts of our country that I hate, and people who are hateful and wrong, but you can’t have the kind of freedom our system affords us without giving them a voice along with everyone else.”
“But children starve in your country,” Twig rejoined.
“Twig, there are children starving in every country on earth. It’s a sad and terrible thing, but whoever is telling you that America is the only place where that happens is wrong. It’s certainly happening here in Costa Rica.”
“It doesn’t happen where I live.”
“And where do you live, Twig? How many people are in this Family of yours? You haven’t said, but no matter what the number, you are living in a bubble.”
Twig went quiet. He was right. She felt humbled and stupid. All her boldness disappeared.
“I don’t mean to be harsh, but what you said—”
“That’s how I’ve been taught to think,” Twig said honestly.
“I’m sorry,” Leo said. He moved closer to her. They were sitting on the large stone steps of a cathedral, and Leo took Twig’s hand.
“I must seem so boring, so ignorant to you,” Twig said. She was sure the novelty of her had just worn off.
“There’s nothing boring about you, Twig.” She squeezed Leo’s hand in response.
“I don’t want to be like this,” Twig said quietly. “My education has just been very…” she paused, searching for the right word, “limited.”
Leo shrugged. “Everyone’s is, in a way,” he admitted. “Hey,” he added, knocking his knees against hers playfully. “Would you object to me changing the subject?”
Twig smiled. “Please!” She felt stupid and would be grateful to move on. “But before you do, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“I have this friend at home. He,” she treaded lightly, not knowing the response she was going to get. “He is homosexual.”
“Okay. I’m with you.”
“How do people in America feel about people who are gay?”
“How do people in America feel about gay people? That’s a loaded question. I’ll do my best to answer that as a straight person, but I think you would have to ask someone who is gay to get the most legitimate answer.” Twig looked at him.
“Right, you don’t know any gay people who live in America. Like I said, I’ll do my best.” Leo raised his eyebrows. “I think I should first say that regardless of how heterosexual people feel about gay people—because some are very accepting and some are very vocal about hating them—there are places where I think gay people feel safe and don’t feel like they have to hide. In some places, they are free to get married, and a lot of them fight for our country in the military. If you walk down the street in the Castro district of San Francisco, you will see many gay couples living out in the open. And yet, many states continue to ban same-sex marriage, so…” Leo frowned. “I’m not really answering your question, am I?”
“So there are
some
places where someone who is gay could live freely? A man could be with another man?”
“Or a woman with another woman. Yes. I just don’t want to give the impression that it isn’t complicated or that’s there’s not still a lot of homophobia and hatred out there.”
“How do you feel?” Twig squinted her eyes at Leo. “About two men or two women being able to marry?”
“I’m all for it.”
“Good,” she said sweetly. He had such an open, loving nature. “So what were you going to say before? When you were going to change the subject?”
“I have this thing I like to do. I haven’t really talked to anyone about it, but since we’re having a sort of put-it-all-out-on-the-table kind of day…”
“Ooh, tell me.” Twig’s eyes lit up.
“God, you’re beautiful,” Leo said, looking suddenly a bit dazed. “Really. It almost hurts to look at you sometimes.”
“Thank you,” Twig said modestly. “That’s funny, that’s how I think of my mom’s beauty. I would never describe myself that way, but thank you.”
“I mean it.”
Twig blushed. Their eyes locked. There was too much energy surging between them for Twig to let shyness pull her away.
“You are, too,” she said softly. She meant it. Their knees were touching, swaying together lightly to some unheard music.
“Come here.” He cupped her face gently with his hands. She put her nose to his and imagined she heard the sweep of their eyelashes touching.
“Is it okay if we kiss? I mean, because of your Family?”
The ramifications burned across Twig’s brain like a quick and powerful flame. But this was the first kiss she had always wanted. A do-over. She could pretend the kiss with Adam never happened.
“It’s okay with me,” she said.
He touched his lips to hers. Softness. He let his lips sweep across hers like feathers. He paused, their lips held together by the slightest pressure coming from both of them, soft and radiating a million trails of tiny sensations. It wasn’t until the kiss ended that they truly pressed their lips together.
They pulled away and laughed lightly.
“What were you going to tell me?”
“Tell you?” Leo looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face.
“The thing you like to do that you haven’t told anyone about? And that was my first real kiss.” To her, it was.
“Come here!” Leo gave Twig one of his bear hugs and kissed the top of her head with honey-dripping affection. “Don’t try to just throw that in there, girl.”
“Well, it’s kind of embarrassing!” Twig giggled.
“It’s not, and I’m honored. And the thing I was going to tell you about was my life soundtracks.”
“Life soundtracks?”
“Yeah. The perfect song for the moment.”
“Ooh, I like that. I do something like that. Well, sort of like that.”
“What is it?”
“Colors. I give people colors.” A flashback of telling this to Adam crossed Twig’s mind. She wished she hadn’t shared this with him. She didn’t want Adam to know anything about who she really was. The memory threatened to cheat on this moment with Leo. But how could she have known? Now she understood why she couldn’t find a color for Adam. The truth of him was hidden beneath layers of lies. “But I want to hear about your songs,” she added. “You first.”
“Like before, sitting here with you on these steps, that rightness between us, the ease. Sometimes only a song can describe a moment like that.”
“The ease? I think you were pretty mad at me a few minutes ago.”
“That’s part of it. That’s real.”
Twig looked up at him. “Really?”
“We’re going to disagree sometimes. That’s cool.”
Twig felt very moved.
“Not what you’ve been taught?”
Twig giggled. “Ah, no.” Twig laid the side of her head on Leo’s shoulder and watched a family walk up the stairs toward the church. There was a distinguished-looking father, a kind-looking mother, and two young children. They seemed peaceful as they meandered up the stairs.
A normal family
, Twig thought. How simple their little group appeared.
“What’s your song for right now?” Twig asked.
“‘Mellow Mood’ by Bob Marley. It’s on the Nano—maybe you’ll hear it tonight.”
“I hope so. I have to go,” Twig said, but she didn’t move her head from Leo’s shoulder.
“I know.” Twig sat up. “Tomorrow is Thanksgiving at home. I’m bummed to miss it. It’s my favorite holiday. You guys don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, do you?”
“No. I don’t know that much about it.”
“Ah. It’s by far the best meal of the year—at least the way my mom cooks it.”
“What do you have?” Twig had to get to Thomas’ and her meeting spot, but this was obviously important to Leo. She wanted to stay and listen.
“The basics—turkey, stuffing, yams—but my mom has this way of making everything just a little different.”
An idea was forming in Twig’s head. It was an outlandish idea, but maybe she could make it happen.
“I have this friend. She lives near where I do. I’d have to ask her, but maybe we could have a Thanksgiving dinner at her house next week.”
“That’d be amazing.” Leo became thoughtful. “You don’t have to do that, though, Twig. I don’t want you to go through all that trouble.”
He probably meant cooking. He had no idea. But she wanted to do it. A million little things would have to come together, but she wanted this.
“Let me see if I can pull it together first. I’ll give you the details when we meet next week.”
“Okay, girl.” Leo clapped his long, beautiful hands together. “You’re on. But no pressure?”
“No pressure. But, Leo?”
“Yes?”
“You really eat turkeys?”
“Have you ever had any meat, Twig?”
Twig shook her head and shuddered. They both laughed, and Leo grabbed her. “I’m going to get you to eat some meat!” Twig squealed in mock protest.
“Never!” she screamed, laughing harder than she ever had laughed before.
When Twig and Thomas pulled back into the compound, everyone was gathering. The stage had been set up, but no one was on it. It was beginning to rain.
“What do you think is going on?” Twig asked Thomas.
“I don’t know, but there’s our gang. Let’s go ask.”
Ryan, Sophie, Rose, and Kamela were standing together, waiting in the rain. Thomas walked up to Rose and put his hand on her stomach.
“What’s going on here?”
Rose smiled back at him. They were so in love. Twig couldn’t help thinking of Leo and their kiss today.
“My dad has some kind of announcement,” Kamela said.
Twig looked at Ryan. He gave her a “search me” look in response. “I have to talk to you,” she mouthed. He nodded in response.
And then Adam was behind them. He put his arms around Ryan’s shoulders. “How’s my guy?”
“I am well, Father,” was Ryan’s response.
“How are all of my dear children?” Adam put his chin on Ryan’s head.
“Good, Father. Thank you, Father,” they all mumbled, feeling slightly awkward. They were getting drenched by the rain.
“My dear, dear children.” Adam gave Ryan a final squeeze, smiled at the rest of the group, and leapt onto the stage.
Despite the rain, when he cleared his throat, everyone became quiet. Twig marveled at how he managed to corral such a large group with a cough.
Adam stood on the stage and clapped his hands together. “Wet!” he said, pushing his hair off his face and wiping water from his eyes. Everyone laughed.
“Family, I’m going to make this short. I know you have things to do before dinner.”
The crowd listened in silence.
“I’m going away for bit. It’s time for me to embark on a pilgrimage. Time to spread the word.” Everyone clapped. Twig clapped along with everyone else, but for different reasons. She never really thought about it when Adam left before, but this time she felt a great sense of relief.
“If you want to talk to me before I go, come see me after this. Doc’s in charge if you need anything in my absence. I leave on Monday. I will miss all of you and will be thinking of you. Of course, there is no place I’d rather be, and I will return as soon as possible.” He finished speaking and led them in prayer.