The Family (22 page)

“How? We have no money and no resources, and if I step foot into the U.S., I’ll be thrown in prison for kidnapping for the rest of my life. At least here, I can be with you.”

“What if we call my father? I’m sure he would be so relieved that he would forgive you. You were taken against your will.”

“I was, and I wasn’t,” Avery said.

“But you were.”

“He will not see it that way.
I
barely see it that way. Trust me, your father has had more than a decade of sadness and worry and grief. There is no way he is just going to forgive me.”

Avery took a deep breath, shaking her head. “It’s getting late,” Twig said, tapping Avery’s knee. “But I want to show you something.”

Avery raised her eyebrows and leaned back on the couch while Twig went to the bedroom and brought out the Nano.

“It plays music.”

“Who are you? Adam? Do you have a cell phone too?” Avery joked.

“I wish,” Twig said. If she did, it would be a lot easier to talk to Leo. “A friend gave it to me,” she added.

“Hello! What friend?”

“The boy I met at the hospital. Do you remember him and his beautiful sister?”

Avery seemed to be trying to think back.

“Oh, Mom. His name is Leo, and he is amazing,” Twig gushed, forgetting all of her sadness and worry for a moment. “His sister is named Hazel, and I ran into them when Thomas and I went to Turrialba!”

“Did Thomas see you talking to them?” Avery asked with concern.

‘No!” Twig said proudly.

“And he gave you this?”

“Can you keep a secret?”

Avery just stared back at Twig.

“Okay, stupid question. We are supposed to meet again next time Thomas and I go to town.”

Avery frowned. “That sounds dangerous. What if Adam sees you or has you followed?”

“I don’t care,” Twig blurted out. “I won’t stay away out of fear. Leo and his family are only here for another month or so. Adam’s already taken enough from me,” she added with anger.

“Ah, so you do have some of me in you,” Avery said, raising her eyebrows. “But I think we need to talk about the two of us being much more careful from now on.”

Everything in Twig wanted to say,
You need to be more careful
. But she knew Avery would take it as criticism and wouldn’t be able to handle that.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, Twig hopped back up on the couch next to Avery, the Nano in hand. She put one of the earbuds into Avery’s ear and one into her own and then snuggled beside her to listen.

“Ooh, I used to love this song,” Avery said.

“What’s it called?” Twig asked excitedly.

“‘They Say It’s Spring,’ by Blossom Dearie.” Avery put her arm around Twig and stroked her hair. The truth had removed some barrier between them.

Avery sat up suddenly and pulled the earbud out of her ear. “Wait, how old is this guy? He’s either way too old for you or he’s got an old soul’s taste in music.”

“I think he’s my age. He just graduated high school this summer.”

“Okay, then.” Avery sat back and replaced the earbud, the irony of her motherly concern not lost on either of them.

“Wait!” Twig stopped the music and sat up. “The virus in the outside world—it’s a lie, right?” Twig had lowered her voice to a whisper.

Avery nodded. Then she put her hand up to stop Twig from saying anymore. Twig wondered how many people in the Family knew this, or knew it at one time and had buried that knowledge. She put their earbuds in and started the music again.

Twig was exhausted. She let the music drift over her and fell asleep with her head on Avery’s shoulder.

30

They had decided to eat at Meng’s. Twig had ordered soup, but she could barely touch it, she was so full of nerves. Slurping up an unruly plate of noodles was out of the question.

It was her first date with Leo.

She had laid it on thick with Thomas in order to get away. She hoped she hadn’t overdone it. She had said she was so disgusted with the outside world that it was better that they split up, divide the errands, and get home as quickly as possible. Why spend one minute more in this den of sin than they had to? Ever since she had spent the night in isolation, ever since Sapphire had died and she’d talked to Avery, Twig’s loyalty to Adam had disappeared. She was still just as scared of him, but her ambivalence toward his actions had vanished. He might have his reasons for the things he did, but there was no justification for taking an innocent life. There was nothing he could say to explain away Sapphire’s death.

“Is Twig your real name? I mean, is it a nickname?”

Leo didn’t know how pointed a question this was. Twig shook off her thoughts of Adam. She was very happy to be there having lunch with Leo. He didn’t seem as nervous as she was. His energy was almost puppy-like as he dug into his noodles without reserve. Twig liked that; it put her more at ease.

She decided to go with the simple answer.

“Apparently, when I was a kid, I loved to build these little structures with sticks, kind of elaborate things. So I guess the name has just stuck.”

“I like it. It suits you. What’s your real name?”

“Next question,” Twig said tentatively. She didn’t want to be rude, but she had to throw him off this line of questioning. She was pretty sure her real name was Olivia. She had heard it enough times in her dreams. But she couldn’t share that information right now. She hadn’t even asked Avery yet.

“Ah, touchy subject. Enough said.”

“No, it’s just Twig. I’ve always just been known as Twig for as long as I can remember.” Twig put her hand on Leo’s reassuringly, but she removed it quickly. He smiled at her.

“You’re a mysterious one.”

“Much more mysterious than I’d like to be.”

“Should we get the awkward stuff out of the way?”

“Yes. How do we do that?” Twig leaned forward with interest. She would love to be able to speak to Leo without feeling as if she were navigating a maze of self-consciousness. It was almost as if they were from separate planets.

“Well, can I ask you a question and have you know that my motivation is purely wanting to get to know you? I’m a bit worried I might offend you.”

“Don’t worry about that. Go ahead.”

“Well, can you tell me about…ahh, how do I put this?”

“Just say it. Really, it’s okay,” Twig said reassuringly.

“Okay.” Leo took a deep breath. “I am just curious about your clothes and why all of your posse seems to wear white.”

“Yeah. That.” Twig leaned back in her chair. Leo dug back into his noodles while he waited for Twig to answer.

“Now you just say it,” Leo laughed.

“Okay.” Twig took a deep breath. “I live in a community called the Family. Oh, does that sound really weird? I’ve never said that to anyone before. It sounded really weird when I said it out loud.”

“I sensed some weirdness when I met you, and I’m here,” Leo said warmly. “I mean, I’m not judging, I just mean it’s okay. I’m sure I’ve got all sorts of weirdness for you to uncover. So, a
kibbutz
type of community? What are we talking?”

“Well, we’re a collective. We believe in the needs of the group over the needs of the individual.”

“Whoa.” Leo stopped eating. He knitted his eyebrows in thought and sat back in his chair. His energy definitely became more serious. Despite being unnerved by this, Twig continued. She might as well tell him about her life and her Family. If he didn’t like her, she would be disappointed, but what else could she do? Even if she wanted to leave the Family, she couldn’t exactly pretend that she was just a girl from the outside world.

“We live communally on a compound in the mountains near here. As you know, we dress the same. And basically everything we do is to help our community thrive. Cooking, gardening, classes, etcetera.” Twig waited for Leo to respond again before she continued. She didn’t mention Adam on purpose.

“Honest response?” Leo took a sip of his water. His plate of noodles still stood untouched since Twig had started talking.

“Please.”

“It either sounds like some sort of Huxley utopia or a communist cult.”

“What’s a cult?”

“What’s a cult?” Leo sat back, surprised. He cupped his chin while he thought this over. “Hard to say, exactly. What you described sounds kind of cool. People going off and doing their thing. It’s just that all of the stories you hear about cults are really bad. Jonestown and Waco, just to name a few.”

Twig looked at Leo blankly.

“Never heard of those?”

Twig shook her head.

“That makes sense. I’m sure whoever started your group wouldn’t want those stories handed down. They would scare you to death.”

“Try me.”

Leo eyed Twig with his big, warm eyes.

“Next question?” Leo acquiesced.

Twig laughed. “That bad, huh?”

Leo nodded soberly.

Twig wanted to tell him that she was questioning her place in the Family, but she didn’t want to ruin their first date. It seemed too heavy for first date talk. “Does it matter? I mean, if I’m part of an ideal society or a cult? I mean, of course it does, but for you and me, right now, does it matter? I would one hundred percent understand if it does.”

Leo took Twig’s hand in his. “Nah, it doesn’t. Just don’t try to recruit me.” Leo laughed, but Twig went red with embarrassment.

“Oh, I would never, I—”

“Hey,” he said gently. “I was totally kidding. Really. Bad joke. Let’s just get to know each other. And when we travel too far down a road—”

“Next question?” they both said in unison.

“Exactly!”

They laughed.

“I’m really happy to see you,” Leo said. “To sit and talk with you.”

“Me too,” Twig said, her laughter subsiding. “I will say this. I live with a lot of rules and a lot of…” She paused, thinking of the right word. “…control. I’m sorry our time together has to be so short.”

“I’m sorry, too, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Twig smiled. She really liked him. She knew they lived in completely different worlds, but over lunch like this, they seemed just like two people getting to know each other. He seemed unusual, too. Twig got the sense that your average American surfer boy wouldn’t take the time to see past her clothes and, as Leo said, her “posse” and get to know her.

The rest of their time together they spent talking about music. Leo scratched out some of the song names and artists from the iPod. He also gave her a charger, saying the Nano would run out of juice before long.

Twig told him how she’d found Lucinda Williams, Jeff Tweedy, Blossom Dearie, the Rolling Stones, and Kanye West so far. She told him how Lucinda Williams’ “Side of the Road” and Jeff Tweedy’s “Remember the Mountain Bed” had touched her most.

Leo was excited to tell her that “Remember the Mountain Bed” was Jeff Tweedy singing a poem by Woody Guthrie.

“Epic romance, that song,” Leo enthused. They both blushed a little bit.

Eventually they had to cut their conversation short. Twig had to race to do her errands.

* * *

Twig was still giddy when she and Thomas pulled back into the compound. She used her extra energy to talk Thomas’ ear off about all the disgusting things she saw in Turrialba. Thomas was easy. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to hide her happiness from Doc as she knocked on his door for their weekly session. She had to stop, take a deep breath, and clear her face of all emotion. She steadied her breathing and got ready to lie through her teeth.

At first, Doc’s questions were direct and easy to answer. Yes, she was taking her medication. No, she hadn’t had any more of the disturbing dreams. Yes, she was feeling better. No, not well enough to resume participation in Meetings. But then he asked her about the isolation incident, about Sapphire. Twig had to fight not to let her anger at Adam surface. It had only been a week. She was still traumatized. Lunch with Leo had been a welcome and lovely distraction from her pain and guilt. If only she had done something different, Sapphire would still be alive. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she couldn’t help blaming herself somewhat.

“I was told you described being disoriented.”

“Yes,” Twig said.

“What happened?”

“I took two pills instead of one. I was feeling very anxious.”

“Ah,” Doc seemed satisfied. “That was not very smart, but it explains things. I’ve never known you to break a rule.”

Or at least I’ve never been
caught
breaking any rules
, Twig thought in response.

“I’m embarrassed about it, Doc. I didn’t even tell Adam because I was so embarrassed.”

“Of course. Didn’t want to look bad to your betrothed. He was awfully hard on you, wasn’t he, Twig?”

This was a test. “It hurt, but I understand why he did it.”

“Do you?”

“Yes,” Twig nodded. “I am going to be his wife. People will look to me, look to me as a model of behavior.”

“Okay. It couldn’t have been easy for you, though.”

“No,” Twig said.

“One pill, Twig. At bedtime or in an emergency.”

“Yes, of course. I learned my lesson the hard way.”

“Same time next week?”

“See you then.”

* * *

In anticipation of her second date with Leo, Twig put her head down and worked. She didn’t want to garner any suspicion. She knew she was walking a very thin line.

She got into her yoga practice in a way she never had. She immersed herself in the burning of her muscles, the tightening of her core, the tiny, varied worlds that lived within each pose. She didn’t have any problems with her wrist. In those moments, she experienced freedom.

Evelyn stayed with Thomas and Rose. It might not have gone through official channels, which was unusual, but no one said anything about Evelyn’s new living situation. Everyone was happy with how it was working out. Perhaps Evelyn had asked Adam, but no one had said anything to Twig or Avery.

During the day, Avery and Twig ignored each other. Twig was scared Adam would be threatened by their newfound closeness. At night, if they were both free, they knitted or baked or did some girly activity previously unknown to them as mother and daughter. For a while she stayed away from Gran’s, but when she couldn’t stand it any longer, she began to sneak back out to paint at dawn. But now she always dragged Avery out of bed to come with her. Avery owed her at least that much. They doubled up on Bill Evans and made the journey together. Twig knew she shouldn’t be going, but she couldn’t stop herself. Painting was like a fever she’d caught. The desire to do it burned through her.