Authors: Marissa Kennerson
“This is it.”
They had come to a road. Twig couldn’t believe it. Of course it had to be there, now that she thought about it, but she had never heard a car. The area around Gran’s clearing was so wooded it had easily remained hidden.
“How did Gran ever find this place?”
“You would have to ask her that.”
“Thank you for showing me this, Daniel. I think I should head back to see if my mom is up.”
“Of course. I will walk you back. I need to get my stuff before I go home.”
When Twig entered Gran’s kitchen, Avery still wasn’t awake. Twig frowned.
Gran was sitting at her kitchen table amidst her piles of glossy magazines. She was cutting out pictures and placing them in a box.
“It’s one of those days, darling. I’m sure she’ll be up soon. Care to join me?”
Twig had more time than usual since she didn’t have to go to Meetings. But she wondered about Avery. Twig wasn’t sure where she was supposed to be right now.
“What are you doing?”
“Ooh, you’ll like this. Collaging.”
Gran fixed Twig a small pot of tea that she said was from Kenya. It smelled like vanilla. Gran poured it into one of the green and gold cups while Twig sat at the table and began to look through the magazines.
There were travel magazines, home decor magazines, and cooking magazines, but her favorites were the fashion magazines. They were called
Bazaar
and were from the 1950s and 60s.
“I’m like a little country mouse, and you’re this formidable woman of the world,” Twig said, laughing as she flipped through pages.
“You are pretty formidable yourself, young lady. And those,” Gran waved her scissors in the direction of the Bazaars, “don’t get cut. Those are Gran’s babies.”
“She’s gorgeous.” Twig stared at a young woman on one of the covers. Her eyes were huge and brown, like Gran’s, actually—and like Adam’s. They popped out from under an over-sized and very glamorous straw hat. Her hair and shoulders were covered in a cream wrap decorated with the most exquisite red, turquoise, and yellow flowers. Her skin was ivory and pale, her lips full and painted red. The eyes, heavily shadowed in black powder, remained so innocent.
“That’s Audrey, photographed by Richard Avedon. You have good taste, Twig.”
“Who is she?”
“She was an actress. Her looks and spirit turned ideas of beauty at the time upside down. Richard would conjure these lively shoots for
Bazaar
, and when the two of them came together—well, you can see for yourself.”
“Her name is Audrey?”
“
Was
Audrey. Audrey Hepburn. She has since passed. You’ll have to see a movie she made called
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
one of these days.”
“I’d like that.” Twig looked toward the kitchen door. “I think I need to wake my mom up. We need to get back. I had wanted to talk to her about something while we were here. I’m worried it’s going to upset her, and now I don’t think we have time.”
Gran began to scoop up scraps of paper. “I’ll go get her, darling.”
“Thank you, Gran. Can I help clean up?”
“Don’t be silly, darling. Just leave it. I’ll get it later.”
Twig noticed that being around Gran and Daniel was helping her get used to talking to people outside of the Family. Conversation was less formal, and Twig felt like she was becoming less awkward. She imagined it was kind of like learning a foreign language: the more you were around it, the more you picked up.
“If you’re sure,” Twig said. She tapped her foot anxiously. They really needed to go, and she hadn’t talked to Avery yet.
“Can it wait until tomorrow? The thing you need to speak to your mother about?”
Twig thought about this for a moment. She’d waited this long.
“I guess so,” she answered. “I’m very angry at her, to be honest. But I worry about her so much.”
“Well, try to wait and come tomorrow. Hang in there.”
“Okay.” Twig nodded.
“And Twig, darling, remember this: Relationships are messy. People are messy. I wish I had accepted that earlier in life.”
Gran left the kitchen to get Avery.
* * *
“You’ll have to go back by yourself, Twig.” Avery stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Her hair was disheveled, and her eyes were puffy with sleep.
“Are you sick, Mom?” Twig went to her. She took her hand, but Avery pulled it away.
“No, I’m not sick. I just can’t deal today.”
“But, Mom. We have to get back. I’ll help you. It will be okay.”
Avery turned away from Twig and headed back down the hallway. “Go, Twig. I’m not coming.”
“Mom! What about me? I can’t get caught riding alone; I’ll be punished!”
“You’ll be fine,” Avery said indifferently before Twig heard a door slam.
Fine?
How was she going to be fine? On the off chance that no one was at the stables? What was she going to do? She didn’t have much time to think. She had to start riding back. Gran came back into the kitchen.
“I think you’d better just go, dear.”
“But you don’t understand. We will get in trouble. Both of us.”
“She is in bad shape today, dear.” Twig wanted to scream at Gran and Avery. What were they thinking? How could Avery be so selfish? Twig didn’t know what to do. She looked from Gran’s dark hallway where Avery had disappeared to Gran’s front door. Maybe Avery knew something she didn’t. Maybe she had thought this through. If Twig left now, maybe, just maybe, no one would notice her when she got back to the stables. No one had been there when they’d left. She felt herself shaking with fear and anger. She forced herself to utter a goodbye to Gran, even though she felt furious with her for letting Avery stay.
Twig rode home fast and deep in thought. She was trying to figure out what to say if she got caught riding alone. Her pulse raced with adrenaline. It was hot and very humid, and she was covered in sweat. She could feel the sun burning her shoulders where she’d rolled up the sleeves of her dress. Twig was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice the two guards until it was too late. They looked like they were patrolling the rainforest. She was still a ways off from the stables. Were they looking for her?
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” one shouted at her. “Come over here.”
“I—” Twig fumbled with her words, trying to figure out what to say. “I was trying to find the group, and I got confused. Doc will understand. I need to see Doc. I’m so glad you are here. I got disoriented.”
“You need to come with us.”
Twig’s heart was pounding. The guards were allowed to dole out punishment without checking with Adam.
“Please, can you go get Doc or Adam? They know I haven’t been well.”
“Just come with me.” One man pulled Twig roughly off Sapphire, and the other began to lead the horse in the direction of the stables. “You’ll ride with me back to the compound,” the man said sternly. Twig looked longingly after Sapphire.
She didn’t know either of the men, but they had the large build Adam chose for guards. Twig climbed reluctantly onto the guard’s horse. She hated to touch him. He kicked his horse in the ribs, and the horse broke into a run in the direction of the compound. This was Avery’s fault.
Avery. Her anger quickly turned to worry. What was going to happen to Avery? Twig prayed she would somehow get home safely.
“I am Adam’s fiancé,” Twig said suddenly. “I am his fiancé, and I haven’t been well. Please take me to Adam. Now.” She did her best to sound commanding. If she could just get to Adam or Doc, she could explain.
“I know who you are,” the man barked back. Maybe he also knew where she’d been this afternoon. Maybe Adam had sent the guards to collect her. She decided not to say anything else. What were they going to do to her? What would they do to Avery? Twig thought about jumping off the horse and trying to run, but she knew she would just get hurt and look guilty if she did that.
“Can you tell me where you are taking me?” Twig finally asked when they entered the compound and she slid off the man’s horse.
“Isolation.”
“Isolation? But I—”
“That’s enough.”
“But—can you please go get Doc?” She could say she took too many pills and had gotten confused. Doc would understand that.
The man led her to an unused cottage and shoved her into an empty bedroom.
“Please, can I have some water?”
The guard didn’t answer. He just shut the door, and Twig heard the lock turn. She was terribly thirsty and hot from her ride. She would have to go to the bathroom soon, and there was no bathroom.
She looked out the room’s one small window into the forest. No one was around. She wondered if anyone would hear her if she screamed. The room was hot and stuffy. She tried to open the window, but it was painted shut. She looked around the room. Nothing. Just heat. Twig sat down, trying to breathe. She had to have her story straight. She got up again and began to pace.
She had gotten confused. She thought she could ride out and find the group, but she got disoriented. Would he believe that? Should she say she took too many pills? Was there even a group ride today? She should have checked that. Doc could verify that she had been confused lately. But what would he do? Put her on antipsychotics? Tell Adam she was crazy?
Twig slid to the floor once again. Her bladder was full and becoming painful. How long could she hold it? Could she make it until someone came for her? She wasn’t sure which she needed more: a drink or to pee.
* * *
When it got dark, Twig knew no one would be coming for her tonight. She felt it in her gut. She had urinated in a corner of the room an hour before. She couldn’t hold it anymore, and now the room smelled of urine. She felt ashamed and afraid.
They must know. They must know about Gran. Otherwise why wouldn’t they come ask her for an explanation? Did they even know she was there? What if the guard had forgotten to report back? And her mother—where was she? Wouldn’t she make them come for Twig? No, she wouldn’t be able to do that, and Avery might be in isolation herself right now. Or worse. Twig had never even gotten to talk to her. She had never gotten any answers about their past.
Twig began to cry. She would be sleeping here. What was this world of secrets and punishment they lived in? This world where one man controlled everything: Information. Schedules. Where they slept and whom they married. What they believed in. This world that had seemed so great until so recently. So great when it was the only life she knew.
Thoughts buzzed through her brain. Letters, words, sentences. She was scared to stop thinking. She kept up the noise in her head to banish the lonely silence of the room. She wished she had Doc’s pills now. She could feel herself panicking.
Control. It was all about control. The infection in the outside world. She was almost totally certain now that it was a lie. She had enough evidence from her trips outside of the compound. What did this lie accomplish for Adam? Control. Complete control. Did everyone follow him out of fear or out of awe? Maybe both. They worshipped him. He had taught them that he was their god. Twig thought of what Daniel had said earlier that day, that he and his mother were blessed. But blessed by whom? Certainly not Adam. Daniel didn’t even know Adam existed.
Somehow, despite her thirst and her fear and her burning brain, Twig fell asleep. She fell in and out of dreams all night. Adam came to her and kissed her. Stroked her hair. Watched her. She tossed and turned. Her body hurt from the hard floor. She saw her father and Avery. Ryan digging ditches. When she woke up, the room was full of light, and the smell made Twig gag.
Still no one came. She had to urinate again in the corner.
She sat beneath the window and wondered anew how long she would be here. Her throat itched with hunger and thirst.
* * *
The doorknob turned, and Adam stood in the doorway. He flinched at the smell. “Twig, come with me.”
Twig was scared of him. She didn’t move. She hated herself for feeling ashamed of the pools of urine in the corner. He came toward her. He took her hands in his and pulled her up to standing. He took his canteen from his belt and offered her water. She fumbled for it, so anxious for the drink.
“Come with me.” He walked her outside. She opened her mouth and took the first deep breath she’d taken in hours. Her head hurt. “Have you learned your lesson?”
Twig wished desperately that she knew what he was talking about. Did he know about Gran’s? She knew her best bet was to stay quiet. If she were lucky, he would tell her what lesson she was supposed to have learned.
“We do not ride out by ourselves. We don’t try to catch up with the group.” Adam frowned at her, repeating the words she had said to the guard.
Twig felt her stomach contract with relief. Was that all? The guard had told him her story, and he had believed her?
“Tell me your sin. Confess it now.”
Control.
What better way to control his new bride than to show her his power over her: A night in isolation without food or water just for riding out alone. She wondered if Avery had been caught.
“Forgive me, Father. I am so very sorry, Father. I broke a rule. I rode out alone.” She didn’t say anything about getting confused or not feeling well. Keep it simple. Let him lead.
She looked at him, and it occurred to her how very cruel he was. Before this, she had thought Avery and other rule-breaking Family members had done something wrong—that they had deserved their punishments—because she had believed in Adam. How wrong she’d been to ever judge the others.
“Doc said you have been fragile lately, Twig. But we both know Doc can be a big softie. He’s indulging you.” Twig didn’t think there was anything soft about Doc. “I am not going to be soft on you because I know what’s good for you. You two can have your little sessions, but I will always hold you accountable. Yesterday, for instance: if you had followed my rule, you wouldn’t have gotten disoriented. You see where you went wrong? You do not ride out alone. That is why you needed to spend the night in isolation. To think about what you had done.”
“Of course, I am so sorry. I was wrong, Father.”