Authors: Marissa Kennerson
“Ah, ah. Underwear too.”
Twig winced. “Adam, please.”
“You shut up!” he shouted, his pretense of calm completely dropped. Thomas removed his underwear. “Let’s go.”
“I don’t understand. Are we going home?”
“Yes. Yes we are.”
Twig and Thomas began to follow Doc and Adam back to the van. Adam turned around. “We are going home. He”—he pointed to Thomas—“is staying here.”
“Here? He can’t stay here. He could starve! What are you—”
“I swear to god, Twig, if you utter another word—I can’t stand the sound of your whore voice right now.” Adam gritted his teeth and covered his ears.
“I’m not leaving him, Adam,” Twig said resolutely.
Adam rushed at her and picked her up, carrying her toward the van. She kicked at him. “He’s having a baby, Adam!” Twig screamed.
“Well, you should have thought of that before you decided to you go on your little vacation. Was it worth it?”
“I’m not going,” Twig screamed, continuing to struggle.
“Just go, Twig. You’ve done enough.” Twig stopped at the sound of Thomas’ voice.
“Thomas,” Twig said.
“Just go. Make sure Rose is okay. Let her know that I love her. That no matter what, I will always love her. Tell her to stay calm, for the baby. She has to.”
“Thomas, I—”
“Twig, just go.” Thomas turned his back on her. “You disgust me.”
Twig started to tear up.
“Better listen to the man, Twig,” Adam said smugly, extending his arm toward the back of the van. As she began to crawl in reluctantly, he gave her a little shove.
“Father,” Thomas whispered. “Father, please. I thought that you forgave me.”
“I did forgive you, Thomas. Now I want nothing to do with you.”
“But, Father. My family, Rose and the baby.”
“See, Thomas. Your priorities are all screwed up. Your family isn’t Rose and the baby. Your Family is the collective. But I am glad to know what’s important to you.”
“But, Father, I—”
“My decision is made, Thomas. Goodbye.”
“He could
die
out here. How can you do this?” Twig said as quietly as she could as Adam entered the van and took the seat beside her. She didn’t want Thomas to hear her.
“You did this, Twig. I didn’t do this.”
“Please, Adam. Leave me. Leave me instead.” Adam ignored her, slamming the van’s door shut.
Twig slumped back, utterly defeated. She would just have to get Adam alone and convince him to go back. That’s all there was to it. She would do whatever it took. She would get them to come back for Thomas.
She tried to catch Thomas’ eye as she stared at him through the van’s window, but he wouldn’t look at her. She felt as if she wanted to die as they drove away, leaving him there naked and exposed.
The image of Thomas standing there, his hands covering his genitals, burned into Twig’s brain as they drove. Did this mean she’d been right to not leave with Leo? Or had she been wrong? Could they really have come back with the FBI? But what might have transpired while she was gone?
They pulled into the compound, and Doc parked the van.
“What are you going to do now?” Twig asked quietly.
Adam turned to face her. “I think your homecoming will be punishment enough. You should go get some rest. We’re getting married tomorrow.” He moved closer to her.
Twig was too stunned to speak. At the feel of his thigh alongside hers, she had to keep from being sick. She would never be able to rescue Thomas if Adam sensed her revulsion.
“You have to learn how to be a member of this Family again, but you will.” Adam began to stroke Twig’s hair. He took a handful of the beads around her neck and held them.
“I trusted you, Twig. You made a fool of me. I don’t take that lightly, but I also understand.” He dropped the beads and fingered the little T. “Twig, I lived out there. You forget that. I grew up out there. I know the highs of the outside world. The freedom that feels so good…at first. The delights—the food, the drink, the adventure of it.”
Twig looked at him.
“Many of your brothers and sisters came from that world. They chose to come here, Twig. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
“You tricked them,” she said before she knew what she was saying.
“No. No, you see, I didn’t. Look at your brothers and sisters. These aren’t feeble-minded people or blind sheep. That freedom that you are so in love with right now is a trap. Before you know it, you are living a life that has no meaning, no purpose. But you’re having fun. Fun. Trust me, it wears off. It becomes meaningless. Meaningless…if you’re lucky.”
Twig found herself listening to him. Really listening to him for the first time in a long time.
“If you’re not lucky, you’ll find yourself whoring yourself out for another high. Prostituting yourself for whatever seemed so
fun
. Next, you’ll become enslaved to it.”
Twig didn’t believe him. She would never believe anything he said again. But as she listened to him, she understood something for the first time.
He
believed what he was saying. It wasn’t a matter of truth or lies. He probably didn’t know where the truth left off and the lies began.
“Right now you are wrapped up in yourself. Your needs. Your desires and your wants. And that’s what it is to be a teenager, really. But you’ll grow out of it. You’ll see. That sort of thinking comes to naught. It is, as I have always taught you, about the good of the whole.”
Twig had heard enough.
“Once we channel this energy, it will work to our advantage. You’ll see.” He stroked her cheek gently.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.” She wanted to spit at him, push him away. Get his hands off her. She forced herself to sit totally still. He was so erratic. She worried he might decide to strike her at any moment. He sensed her fear.
“You’re scared of me,” Adam said, rearing back.
Twig just continued to stare at him.
A smile played on Adam’s lips. “Good. That’s a start.”
“Can I go now?” Twig whispered hoarsely.
“It won’t always be like this, Twig. You’ll see. We’re going to be very happy together.”
Twig nodded.
“Go.” Adam swept his hand across his body, gesturing for her to leave.
Twig crawled out of the car. She tried to walk away slowly, but soon she broke into a run.
41
She had to find Rose. She had to get to Avery.
As she walked through the compound in her tight jeans and black boat neck sweater, the beads and little gold
T
glittering at her neck, she might as well have had blood on her hands.
Everyone stared at her accusingly. A toddler began to run toward her on her little legs, but her mother pulled her back. Rose stood in a cluster of people near the dining hall. Her small face was stained with tears.
“Just like your mother,” Evelyn spat at Twig. “This is your fault, and don’t you think otherwise for a minute.”
Twig tried to ignore her.
“Rose,” Twig said tentatively, “Can I talk to you?”
“No,” Evelyn interjected. “You have done plenty. Just leave her alone. The two of you needs to stay in that cottage, or better yet, just go away and leave us in peace. I, for one, wish you had never come back from your little trip. You’re just—”
“Evelyn, just stop!” Twig snapped.
“Don’t you yell at me.” Evelyn began to puff herself up, ready for a fight.
“Mom,” Rose finally spoke. Her voice was brittle with pain. “Twig, please go away. I don’t want to see you.”
“I know this is all my fault. I understand that, Rose. I am so, so sorry, but Thomas wanted me to tell you something.” Twig pleaded with Rose to let her speak.
Rose looked at her, and what Twig saw in her expression threw her off guard for a minute: hatred. It was apparent that Rose could barely tolerate the sight of her.
“He just wanted me to tell you that he loves you, that he will always love you no matter what. To stay calm no matter how hard that is, for the baby. Rose, I’m so sorry.” Twig’s hands were pressed together, prayer-like, her fingertips covering her mouth.
Rose began to weep into her sleeve.
“Enough!” shrieked Evelyn. “Rose, come and sit down. This is insane. Leave!” she yelled at Twig, shooing her away.
“I—” Twig started to protest.
“Please, just go,” Rose said.
Twig backed away slowly. She realized Sophie was in the group. She looked at her for some sort of help. Sophie shook her head.
Twig looked toward her cottage. She needed her mother.
Gran had once told them to remember who the real enemy was. But to the group, it was Twig. They would never see Adam as anything but their leader. Twig was ready to do anything to get Thomas back, including accepting full responsibility for what was happening to him. But couldn’t anyone see that leaving Thomas defenseless out in the middle of nowhere was the action of a deranged person?
She felt an arm on her elbow pushing her forward.
“I can walk on my own,” Twig said defensively, pulling her arm away.
“You never have to walk on your own as long as I’m around,” Ryan said, keeping his hand firmly on her elbow.
Twig nearly sank into him with relief.
“Before you go,” Yasmine and Farriss called, walking quickly to catch up with Twig and Ryan as they headed toward Twig’s cottage.
Twig turned around slowly, bracing herself for whatever blows they might throw. Yasmine put her hand on Twig’s arm. “We’ll work all of this out in Meetings soon. You’ll see.” Her tone was gentle. “What you did was wrong, but we will work it out. That’s what this Family is about. None of us is perfect. We will all grow from this.”
Someone could die. Someone they all loved. And this is what she had to say? They would work it out in Meetings?
Every second Twig was more and more sure that she did not belong here anymore. They all believed in Adam. He could do no wrong in their eyes. They didn’t care about right or wrong or the truth. They had blind faith. And if anyone had any doubt, they were too scared to act. Adam controlled them with fear.
Along with her growing certainty came a black feeling of dread.
She was trapped.
Maybe she had always been trapped, but now she knew it.
Twig nodded stoically at Yasmine and Farriss. Farriss looked back at her with what looked like genuine compassion.
“Are you going to be okay, Twig?” Farriss asked.
Twig felt as if she was going to collapse. She had to get back to her cottage. She needed Avery. She turned away from them and broke into a run. Ryan bolted after her. She heard them calling her name, but she kept going. She couldn’t stand a minute more. Suddenly her Family seemed like a bunch of strangers.
Avery was waiting for them when they got to the cottage. She seemed fine, unharmed. She took Twig in her arms. How much their relationship had changed over the last few months. All of the chaos and the lies had thrown them together.
Twig whispered into Avery’s neck. “How could he do this to Thomas?”
Avery started to say something and then thought better of it.
“He’s moved the wedding up to tomorrow.”
“I know.”
“Does everyone know?”
“Yes. He made one of his little speeches before this unfolded.”
“I have no sense of what time it is anymore. What did he say about Thomas?” Twig asked, collapsing on the couch. Ryan brought her a glass of water and sat next to her.
“He said he had to make a lesson out of him,” Ryan said sadly. “It’s almost dinner,” he said as an afterthought. “I know that’s a stupid thing to say right now, but I don’t want you to get into any more trouble.”
“Do they want me to go? Am I supposed to go?” Twig asked incredulously.
“I don’t think so,” Avery said. “I think we are the unofficial wedding party. In for the night.”
Twig groaned and sat up. She pressed her palms to her eyes. “He could die out there. I have to find a way to help him. He could die, and it’s my fault.”
“There’s nothing you can do.” Avery looked at Twig.
Leo
.
He would be getting on a plane tonight.
Could she somehow sneak over to Gran’s and use her telephone? Use the number on Jeff’s card and just…just what? Have them come get her and then help her find Thomas?
What if they actually came?
No. She couldn’t involve them in this. Adam was dangerous. Twig didn’t know what he was capable of.
But she had to communicate with Leo somehow. Once she knew he was safely on the plane, she had to write to him. The thought of him waiting for her email on Wednesday was unbearable. After the wedding, that email would never come. She knew it. Adam would never let her out of his sight again.
Maybe she could sneak away to Gran’s just one last time before the morning, before the wedding. Just send one email. It would make all the difference.
“Ryan, I have to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“This is probably terrible timing, but I don’t know when I’ll have the chance again, and I feel like like it is my responsibility.”
Avery went into the kitchen to let them speak.
“I asked. I asked my friend your questions.”
“Oh,” Ryan said. “It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. Please.”
Ryan started to say something in response but then went quiet, waiting for Twig to speak.
“There are gay people out there who live safely and openly.” She wanted to say this the right way. The outside world wasn’t flawless, but it was better than life here. Ryan looked at her. “It’s not perfect. There are people who do hate gay people.”
“So what Adam says is true?”
“Partially true. Half truths. There are places where gay people can marry. You could find a partner who feels the same way you do.”
“And there are places where people are beaten for being gay?”
“Yes. But Ryan, people are beaten here for nothing!” Twig whispered, trying to get through to him.
“Twig, it’s okay.”
“But you don’t understand.”
“No, I do. I do. I am safe here. I am going to volunteer to marry Rose. To raise her baby with her.”
Twig felt like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. “But…why? Why would you do that? Ryan, please believe me—”