The Family (5 page)

“May I say something?” Farriss, Sophie’s father, rose from his chair in the circle to speak.

“Of course, darling.” Yasmine smiled at him.

Farriss looked at Anna with warmth in his eyes. “You are so brave, Anna. You are so brave, and I can sense the power of your spirit.” He looked around. “Can everyone feel it? Wow!” People nodded their heads and laughed. Anna smiled shyly in response.

“You are very special, Anna. Do you know that?” Yasmine had taken Anna’s hand. “You are unique. Powerful. It is palpable.” Anna looked at the floor. Yasmine continued. “Look at me, child. I know you haven’t been told this enough in your life, but you are so special, Anna. And you have been chosen to become part of something bigger. Chosen to become the person you were meant to become in this life. And you have heeded the call. Special and brave! Those are the words I would use to describe you!”

“I’m sensing that there’s something on her mind. She looks doubtful,” Evelyn said in her brusque way.

“Is that true, Anna?” Yasmine asked. “You can say absolutely anything to us. We are your Family now.” Yasmine squeezed Anna’s hand again and bent her head to look into Anna’s eyes. “Anything.”

“Well, it’s just that… I don’t think my parents were all bad. I think they really love me and care about me,” Anna said tentatively.

“No, sweet one, they don’t.” Farriss frowned as he imparted this truth to her. Twig felt bad for Anna in this moment. That must be hard to hear. “They love you with conditions. That’s a perverted kind of love. But it’s all you have ever known.”

“Until now,” Sophie chimed in. She was just like her parents. Twig smiled. Now Anna would know true, unconditional love.

“Yes, until now,” Yasmine agreed. “It will be an adjustment, life without them. But you’ll come to see how necessary it is to escape their influence. They will just try to draw you back into that life. It’s all they know. They are ignorant. It’s not their fault. It’s just how they were raised.”

Suddenly the doors to the dining hall slammed open. Adam walked in. He was obviously angry and was dragging Avery by the hand behind him.

Oh no
. Twig felt her entire body go rigid with fear.
Mom, what have you done now?

Avery looked furious as well. Her gray eyes seared into Adam, and Adam looked back at her with such venom, Twig was afraid he might strike her.

“Anna, Yasmine, out of the circle. You,” Adam nodded to Avery, “in.” He gave her a slight shove as she passed him and sat in the one of the chairs Yasmine and Anna had just vacated. He turned back to Anna. “Anna, I am deeply sorry to have your time interrupted. We will continue this later. You have my word.” Anna nodded, but she looked a little lost. Yasmine took her gently by the hand and led her out of the circle.

“Now,” Adam boomed. Twig held her breath. Ryan moved his thigh closer to hers in a gesture of silent support. Adam lowered his voice and spoke coolly. “Avery, I would like you to tell your brothers and sisters what I had to wake up to this morning.”

Avery glared at him.

“So help me, Avery—” Adam growled.

Twig wanted to get up and sit next to her mother.

Be agreeable, Mom. Don’t make it worse
. Twig was silently willing her mother to calm down and obey.

Avery looked at Twig for a moment and caught her eyes. Twig wanted to convey her love to her mother, but she didn’t want to be disobedient. She tried to keep her expression neutral.

Avery turned to Adam. “I went to your cottage this morning to ask you to reconsider marrying my daughter.”

9

Twig’s eyes widened with surprise. She nearly let out a laugh of awkwardness and disbelief. Why would her mother do that?

“You do not question my judgment. Not you, and not anyone in this room.” Adam looked around in warning. Everyone was dead quiet. “Damian, go get my case.”

Damian, a Family member in his early twenties, hopped up and left the dining hall. Adam looked around for a chair, and someone brought him one. He took it and placed it so that he sat nearly knee to knee with Avery.

Damian burst back through the door, breathless. He handed Adam a small black case, which Adam laid on his lap. Twig noticed Adam rub his bad leg. Everyone looked on. It seemed as if the whole room was holding its breath.

Adam snapped the case open and removed a large, gleaming pair of scissors. Twig gasped.

Adam looked at Avery. He studied her, and then he turned and picked Twig out of the crowd. He pointed the scissors at her. “Cut it all off. Every strand. And as your mother’s hair falls to the ground around her, so may her poisonous ideas, as well as her insolence and her attitude and most importantly, her misguided notion that
she
knows what’s best for you.”

Avery had gorgeous hair. Blond and thick and impossibly long. For as long as Twig could remember, Avery had asked Twig to braid it or put flowers in it, twist it up, create some pretty style. Brush it before they went to bed. Trivial as it might seem, this ritual between them meant everything to Twig.

“Twig.” Avery didn’t miss a beat. “It’s okay, Twig.” Avery grabbed onto Twig’s hand, and Twig could feel her trembling. She wanted to scream. She had no choice. It never got easier watching her mother get punished, and now by her own hand.

Physical punishment purifies the soul. Used sparingly and responsibly, physical consequence bleaches out old patterns of behavior
.

Twig knew this, but she had never had to administer any sort of punishment, let alone to her own mother.

Adam held out the scissors to Twig. She took them obediently and stood over her mother, filled with dread. She wanted to put her lips on top of Avery’s flaxen head, whisper in her ear how much she loved her, but she couldn’t. Her only loyalty was meant to be to Adam, but at this moment she felt torn. Maybe this was the lesson that would finally make Avery learn to be agreeable and obey. The path to harmony. Still, Twig wished there were another way. And sometimes, though she’d never revealed this sinful thought, Twig wondered if Avery couldn’t control herself at all. Like she wasn’t the one in control of her moods or actions. Maybe.

“It’s better if it is you, Twig. It really is.”

“Avery, not another word,” Adam scolded.

Twig cried quietly as she lifted a piece of Avery’s hair with tenderness. She winced at the sound the blades made as they severed Avery’s hair from her head. She wished she could mute the sawing and snapping sounds.

The Family sat unusually silent around the spectacle. When she had finished, Twig set the scissors down on the ground.

“Now shave her.” Adam stood holding a razor.

Twig was going to throw up. She gathered her dress and began to run from the forest toward the compound.

“Twig!” Adam ran after her.

Twig ran faster, but Adam was athletic and quickly overcame her. He took her into his arms. Twig sobbed and beat at his chest. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing! She can’t help it. Why do you keep punishing her?” She was out of control. She knew she would be punished for talking to Adam this way, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Shh. Shh.” Adam tried to comfort her. He stroked her hair and held her closer. “It’s okay. Calm down, darling.”

Twig took a deep breath, her sobs beginning to subside within the tightness of his embrace. She cried quietly into his chest. “Maybe she’s sick? Maybe she has a virus from before? From before she came here.”

“It’s okay,” he cooed. “It’s going to be okay. It’s for her own good. You’ll see. Imagine the peace she’ll have when she learns. She’ll find her joy again, and we will celebrate when she does. We will honor the beautiful woman she is.”

Twig wanted to hate him in that moment, but his words soothed her. She felt herself calming despite trying to hold on to her rage. It seeped away from her.

“Better?” he asked.

Twig looked up at Adam. His black eyes glimmered as he took her in.

“You’ve gotten so beautiful,” he murmured.

Twig looked down, embarrassed. Adam held her tighter.

“It’s okay. I’m going to make everything okay.” Twig felt his lips touch her head. He pulled her even closer and ran his hands up her back. His lips were close to her ear. “So beautiful,” he said, his voice suddenly urgent.

Twig froze.

His lips moved to her neck. His body was hard, pushing against her. Was he trembling? Twig felt claustrophobic. He moved his mouth to hers, pressing urgently. She quickly pulled away in shock and fear.

He recovered himself. “Twig, I’m sorry.” And then he recovered even more. It wasn’t like Adam to apologize. He smiled. “Everything will be okay. You’ll see. Just trust me.”

Twig stood wide-eyed, just staring at him. What had just happened? He had kissed her. Her first kiss was supposed to be with her husband,
after
they were married. It was supposed to be loving and playful—at least, that’s how Twig had dreamed it would be.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yes,” Twig muttered. She wanted to get away from him.

“Do you believe me?” Adam asked her.

Twig was silent. She didn’t know what he meant.

“That everything is going to be okay?”

“Yes. Yes, of course I believe you, Father,” she said quietly.

“Good. Now please go back and shave your mother’s head. And tell everyone there will be no breakfast today and that they can thank your mother for that.”

10

Twig moved through the rest of the day in a haze. She couldn’t wait to take her favorite horse, Sapphire, out for a long run. They always rode in a group or at least pairs of two, but galloping on Sapphire always left her room to clear her head despite the company. Afterwards, she would brush Sapphire’s coffee brown coat until it gleamed and feed her carrots and apples by the handful.

Farriss was at the stables when Twig arrived. He loved the horses, and even though as an Elder he didn’t need another position within the Family, he was the stable lead. He had been for as long as Twig could remember. Most roles rotated every month, but Farriss never gave up the care of the stables and horses. Twig grabbed an apple from one of the food baskets, rubbed it on the skirt of her dress, and took a big bite. She let out an audible sigh. She felt lighter just being near the horses.

“Congratulations are in order, aren’t they, dear?” Farriss’ voice was velvety. Twig loved the sound of it.

“Yes, thank you, Farriss,” Twig said quietly. Twig turned away and fed the rest of her apple to a big white horse with a mushroom gray muzzle named Candy. Twig liked Farriss. It was hard to look him in the eye and pretend nothing was wrong.

“You know you can always come talk to me or Yasmine. It will be a big responsibility, being Adam’s wife, but I have complete faith that you will rise to the occasion.”

“Yes.” Twig nodded humbly. “Thank you.”

“She’s ready for you.” Farriss nodded toward the stall where Sapphire slept. “The group is already out there,” he added.

Twig began to gather grooming supplies and headed off toward Sapphire’s stall.

“Don’t forget this,” Farriss said, throwing Twig another apple, which she caught with one hand.

Twig walked to Sapphire’s stall and pulled on the cotton tights she’d sewn for riding beneath her white eyelet dress. She couldn’t bear riding sideways in her dress, so she’d made the tights. All the women and girls wore them now when they rode. The men and boys in the Family wore white button down shirts and dark blue jeans. Twig had asked many times if the girls could be permitted to wear jeans, at least for some of their activities. So far the answer had been no. But now that she would be Adam’s wife, maybe she could convince him to change this. She brushed the thought away to revisit later.

Twig saddled up expertly and pulled herself onto Sapphire with ease. Twig’s frame was slight, but her upper body was strong from years of yoga. Twig trotted out of the shade of the stables and entered the clearing. Buoyed by the fresh air and her love of riding, she grinned and galloped forward, her long hair streaming behind her, dirty blond in the quiet afternoon light.

“Hey, beautiful girl,” Ryan said as Twig pulled Sapphire up beside his horse. Twig blushed. “Come on, princess. I know it’s your birthday, but let’s get going.”

Twig saw Avery sitting atop a sweet but serious yellow-haired stallion named Phoenix, Sophie at her side.

“Mom?” Twig couldn’t believe her eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she and Avery had gone out on a ride together, and after this morning, she hadn’t expected to see her mother for the rest of the day. She must have made the effort for Twig’s birthday. Twig was deeply touched. She looked at Ryan and Sophie, and they smiled back at her.

“Race you!” she challenged. The three of them tore out toward the forest, catching up to the rest of the group.

11

The trees stood tall, stamping the blue sky with dark green silhouettes. There were eight of them on horseback, including Twig, Ryan, Sophie, and Avery. Ryan tore off in a blaze of dust. Ryan’s color was orange: bright, clear, and fiery. He was the strongest rider among them. He looked so able and grown up as he flamed ahead of her. A flicker of excitement ran through her, settling in her breasts and giving her the chills. It’s not that she had feelings for Ryan. Not those kinds of feelings. It was just the whole picture: Ryan, his horse, and his confidence, the light of the sun and the sudden dampness in the air. It was inspiring.

Twig thought back to Rose and Thomas and their kiss the day before. She thought about Adam and how he’d pressed his mouth against hers. Would it always feel like that—awkward and slightly wrong? Could she imagine kissing him back? Did she want to? If she was really honest with herself, did she want to be with him that way? She loved him. She loved him deeply. He was gorgeous and charming, and, truth be told, exciting. But to lie with him? The thought terrified her and made her a little sick.

Twig could have kissed Ryan a hundred times. It was forbidden before marriage, but they’d had opportunities to do it in secret. Ryan just didn’t exude that kind of energy toward Twig, as close as they were. They hugged, but it wasn’t sexual.