The Family (4 page)

The world. Twig knew what lay outside of the compound. Adam regaled them with stories. Rape, murder, vicious poverty, war, and disease. Evil, sadness, pain, and nothing else. Twig thought about the woman from last night, Anna. The state she’d been in when she had arrived. What happened out there to make someone like that? Would Twig have become like that if Adam hadn’t healed her?

And yet, still, she couldn’t help wondering. How could the Family really change the world if they never left the compound? Adam left a few times a year to spread the word, but he was only one man. Couldn’t they do more? Adam could protect them from infection. Couldn’t they go out in groups? Be living examples of the power of the collective?

Twig looked up at the sky. Soft streaks of pink and orange hinted at the sun’s impending rise. They’d had a reprieve from the rains the last few days, but the heaviest were still to come. Twig continued to pad her way toward the rainforest, leaving the clearing the Family had created many years ago to build their home. She breathed a little easier as she entered the protection of the rainforest. Palm trees soon towered above her, their
pejivalle
fruit hanging in thick orange clusters. Large lemon yellow butterflies landed on her hands and shoulders.

She was quickly enveloped by the lushness of the forest. Geckos darted across her path. The leaves beneath her feet became a soft sea of green, wet and vibrant. She carefully placed the most colorful leaves in her basket as she went, occasionally glancing behind her, more out of habit than actual fear that anyone had followed her. Members of the Family did not give up their sleep. They didn’t get much of it, so they would usually stay in bed until the minute before breakfast call.

The sun was just beginning to fold into the valley when Twig arrived at a small glen hidden by interlacing branches. There was a wide stream where water bubbled over white rocks. She loved the sounds of the rainforest. The first impression of silence, giving way to the gentle gurgle of water, the scurry of life in the surrounding green. Twig sat down on a big, flat rock and took in a deep breath.

“Happy birthday to me.”

Only Adam’s birthday was truly celebrated. People might wish her a happy birthday throughout the day, but that would be all.

She began to take the leaves from the basket, smoothing them and sorting them by depth of color. She had been trained her whole life to use action as a weapon against unwanted thought. Adam had taught them what he called the Thought Test. Examine every single thing that comes into your head. Does it drive the Family forward? Will it help the Family? Anything else is individualism.

Individualism, the very evil that infected the world outside the Family.

If your thoughts were impure, you were supposed to banish them or confess them. But how could she not have confusing thoughts today? The memory of the day before had the strange force of a dream. She’d been so excited to hear that she would be marrying Adam, but then the doubts had crept in. How could she marry the man she always looked to as a father? Twig always had trouble expressing herself in meetings, always struggled with thoughts she wanted to keep to herself. She liked to escape to the rainforest to be alone. These things were forbidden in the Family—as Adam’s wife, she would need to be the perfect Family member, mother of the collective. She wouldn’t be able to keep anything to herself or escape from scrutiny.

Then there was the woman last night and the purification ceremony. What if she was infected and Adam hadn’t gotten all of the virus out? What if people treated her like she was sick and wouldn’t get near her? Twig wanted to scream. She knew she wasn’t supposed to think about this stuff on her own, but she couldn’t talk to anyone about it either. She felt like she might explode. How was she supposed to deal with all of it?

She would make a painting. She would chase the thoughts away with action. Distract herself.

When the leaves were finally sorted to her satisfaction, Twig pinned her dress up around her thighs and began to wade out to the middle of the stream.

She carefully laid the leaves down in a thin ribbon of color where the stream stood still. Deep greens gently became sage and then burst into hot, yellow-greens. Purple leaves the color of figs with waxy red veins cooled into muddy browns and finally greens so dark they almost seemed black. A perfect painting of nature. The current started to seduce the leaves away from her. Her thoughts continued to beckon for attention with a similar unavoidable pull.

Twig wished she had a camera. They were strictly forbidden on the compound. She only knew about them from her classes and the slides they studied. Usually, letting nature take the leaves away was part of the process. But today, she wanted something to mark the moment. Everything was about to change. She would be Adam’s wife. Last night with the woman was just a preview of what life might now be like for her. She made her hands into a frame and cocked her head to the side. Click.

The leaves dipped and bobbed away from her.

Did her marriage mean the end of her private self for good?

She sensed movement behind her before she heard it. Footsteps. Her heart caught in her chest. This was strictly forbidden, being out in the forest like this on her own. She’d been doing it for the last year, but she’d never been caught. She couldn’t run or hide—she was knee-deep in water.

Sophie came through the trees holding a thermos and a picnic basket. “Happy birthday, Twiglet,” she whispered nervously. Twig let out a deep breath. This was very unusual; Sophie never broke the rules.

“You scared me! What are you doing here? Did you follow me?” Twig’s heart was racing. In the Family, even children told on their parents. It would not be surprising for one friend to betray another. They were supposed to betray one another to prove their loyalty to Adam. “Is that coffee?” Twig added, trying to sound friendlier.

“Yes and yes.” Sophie smiled anxiously. “Now that I’m here, get out of that water and come break bread with me.” She spread out a small blanket and unpacked a meal of warm croissants, cheese and oranges. “You really should not come out here alone. What if you get caught?”

The girls bent their heads over the food and said, “Praise, Adam.”

“You’re right,” Twig said. Sipping her coffee after a bite of flaky croissant, Twig looked up at Sophie. Sophie’s eyes were full of light, a warm brown with specks of gold and copper. Her skin was the deep brown of honey. She had a sweet round face and a head of curly dark brown hair. She looked like a doll.

“Don’t forget to make it look like you haven’t had breakfast yet at call.” Sophie looked around nervously. Her hands were shaking.

“I won’t. Promise. I’ll eat another whole breakfast.” Twig cut a piece of cheese and smiled at Sophie.

Sophie was suddenly silent. Twig watched as she tossed an orange up and down, seeming deep in thought.

“Hey, congratulations,” Sophie finally said, quietly.

“Thanks,” Twig replied modestly.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m kind of in shock, to be honest.”

“But you’re okay?”

“I guess so,” Twig said. She didn’t want to lie to Sophie, but she couldn’t talk to her the way she talked to Ryan. She had to keep it simple.

“Can I ask you something, Twig?” Sophie suddenly whispered.

“Sure,” Twig answered. “Anything.”

“Well, I know things will be different now, but before last night, did you ever think of…well, of leaving?”

Twig froze. “What?” she asked in surprise. She tilted her head toward Sophie, waiting for some kind of explanation. This was not something you talked about. Sophie had never said anything like this before. You didn’t sneak out to the rainforest alone and you didn’t paint with nature either, but talking of leaving? It wasn’t even a consideration. It was one of the worst crimes you could commit against Adam.

“Well, I mean, did you ever think that maybe this isn’t the life for you? Did you ever want to live the life we hear about in people’s lore?”

“Where is this coming from, Sophie? Are you unhappy? Can I help you?”

“Me?” Sophie put her hand to her chest in surprise. “No! I’m not unhappy, I was just wondering.”

Twig was suspicious. This kind of talk was absolutely forbidden. Had Adam and Doc sent Sophie this morning to test Twig? To see if she had been infected after all? Sophie wouldn’t have a choice. She’d have to do it and report back.

“Sophie, really, why are you asking me this?” Twig tried again.

Sophie just shrugged her shoulders. “Forget it. Forget I asked.”

“Okay,” Twig said. She was happy to let it drop. Maybe she was being too paranoid. Maybe Sophie was just making conversation. Sophie never got a chance to talk like this.

“But you never answered me, Twig,” Sophie pressed. She obviously wasn’t going to let it drop.

“No, no, I’ve never thought of leaving, Sophie.”

She hadn’t. Twig certainly wasn’t perfect, but she had never thought of leaving. Besides, it really was the only answer she could give. Even to her best friend.

The air between them was heavy. Twig felt bad, but it felt very unnatural to have Sophie there. She wanted to wrap up their breakfast and get back.

“Maybe you should be more careful, now. Now that you will be Adam’s wife,” Sophie said suddenly.

“You’re right,” Twig said thoughtfully. She wasn’t sure why Sophie had come this morning, but she could tell Sophie’s warning was genuine. Twig felt depressed. Sophie was right. Once she was married to Adam, moments like these simply wouldn’t be possible. She would no longer be able to sneak out here and paint. And painting was like oxygen to Twig.

As they walked home, Twig unpinned her dress and let her hair spill over her shoulders and down her back. Neither one of them said a word.

“Do you want to go straight to breakfast?” Sophie finally asked, breaking the silence between them.

“I want to make sure my mom is up,” Twig said.

Sophie nodded in understanding. She smiled warmly at Twig.

For the moment, Twig had to push everything else aside. Her only priority right now was to get her mother to breakfast call on time.

8

Unfortunately, when Twig went back to her cabin, Avery wasn’t there any longer. Twig sighed. Avery had struggled to be a part of the Family for as long as Twig could remember. Throughout Twig’s childhood, Avery had been constantly humiliated and assigned impossible tasks requiring hard labor.

It’s her own fault.

That is what Adam would say, time and time again.

Until she learns to control herself, control her moods, this is what life will be like for her. It doesn’t have to be this way. She is a selfish, petulant woman who needs to be reined in. Her commitment is to her sadness, to herself, when it should be to the collective.

Mostly, Avery was just quiet and wanted to be left alone, but she did have mood swings. Swings from deep sadness to anger. Her sadness made her withdrawn and listless. It made it difficult for her to fulfill her responsibilities to the group. Difficult to bathe and eat and sleep. Her anger made her defiant and nearly always got her into trouble with Adam. Twig had made a habit out of trying to chase the pendulum of her mother’s moods. Anticipate which way they would swing next.

“What’s going on?” Twig whispered as she took a seat between Sophie and Ryan at breakfast.

“New girl,” Sophie said, lifting her chin toward the center of the circle where Yasmine, Sophie’s mom, was approaching. “Meeting before breakfast.” She leaned in toward Twig conspiratorially. “My mom told me she’s from America.”

“I helped to bring her in last night,” Twig whispered. She felt important sharing this information with Ryan and Sophie.

“What? Really?” Sophie said, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “How did that happen?”

“Quiet, everyone,” Yasmine addressed the group.

“More later…” Ryan said, nodding his head toward Yasmine, who was starting the Meeting.

“It’s time to begin.” Yasmine had to clap her hands together several times. It was a very large group, and no one could wrangle them like Adam. People stamped their chairs on the floor to signal quiet.

“Let’s give our newest member, Anna, a big warm round of applause.” The room thundered with applause. “Anna, welcome!” Yasmine flashed a warm smile toward Anna, who smiled shyly in response. She looked so different from the night before. Without the clothes and the makeup, standing awake and alert, Twig was surprised to see how young she really was, maybe only a few years older than Twig. She looked uncomfortable but much more put together than she had the night before. Several people walked up to her and gave her an embrace, which she accepted stiffly. Twig, Ryan, and Sophie stayed in their seats, watching.

“Please tell us who you are. Tell us your story,” Yasmine prompted Anna.

“I’m not sure what to say. I’m sorry,” Anna said.

“First of all, you never have to be sorry again. That’s the beauty of being here, of being one of us.”

Anna covered her face with her hands. “I’m embarrassed,” she admitted. “I’m not very good at speaking in front of a crowd.”

“Please, dear. Don’t think of us as a crowd. Think of us as your Family. Why don’t you start by telling us about your upbringing?”

“Okay,” Anna agreed with a small nod. “I was raised in a very strict Korean family,” she began. The group nodded at her encouragingly as she spoke. “There was a sort of prescribed path for me from early on: school, good grades, medical school, become a doctor and get married.”

“That must have been really difficult. Such intense pressures put on you as a child. It also sounds to me like no one listened to what Anna wanted,” Yasmine said thoughtfully.

Anna laughed and shook her head. “No. What I wanted didn’t really come into play. I mean, my parents loved— love me, they—”

“They love you with conditions,” Yasmine corrected her sympathetically. “They love you if you twist yourself to become who they want you to be.”

“Yes, I guess you could say that. Adam keeps telling me that.” Anna looked thoughtful for a moment as she turned the idea over in her head.