Authors: Adrienne Wilder
Ellis chuckled and Jon grinned.
“Fine, I’ll eat, but on one condition.”
“Name it.”
“Don’t put any green peppers on it.”
Jon’s mouth twisted to the side. “But I like green peppers.”
“I know. But I don’t. And if you expect me to kiss you later, don’t put them on the pizza.”
“Okay. You win. No green peppers.”
“And you have to use extra cheese.”
“Noted.”
“And black olives.”
“Getting a little pushy, are we?”
“You’re the one who wants me to eat.”
“Anything else, your highness?”
“Yes.”
Jon snorted. “That’s what I get for asking. What is it?”
“You have to cook naked.”
“What?” The car swerved, almost taking out a mailbox.
Ellis fought to keep his expression serious. “Better slow down or we’ll get a ticket.”
“You’re joking?”
“Nope.”
“Naked?”
“That’s what I said.”
Jon tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “May I ask why?”
“Sure.”
There was a long stretch of silence, then Jon said, “Well?”
“It’s my personal fantasy. You know, being served dinner by some drop dead gorgeous naked guy.”
Jon raised both his eyebrows and looked at Ellis with wide eyes. He laughed, but it dried up when they were almost to the road in front of his house.
“You okay?”
“I don’t know. I just feel like…” A knot formed in his stomach, becoming barbed wire when they turned onto his road. They reached the foot of the driveway and turned in. Ellis’s pounding heart skipped a beat.
The house emerged from behind the tree line shielding it from the road.
“Die faggot” and “burn cocksucker” accompanied crude illustrations that had been spray painted in red across the front, and all the windows had transformed into gaping holes.
A speckled pattern left in the wood suggested they’d been hit with a shotgun.
White remnants of curtains fluttered through the busted front door. Bits of porch swing littered the yard near the truck. The tires were slashed and the windshield was nothing but glass crumbs sprinkled on the ground.
His home had been violated. His, Jon’s, and Rudy’s home.
Ellis shoved open the car door.
“Wait.” Jon grabbed his arm, but Ellis twisted free. “Wait, you don’t know what’s in there.”
Ellis ran inside, past the demolished living room with walls covered in obscenities and upstairs. Bedclothes and gutted pillows clogged the doorway to his room. Ellis stepped over the crushed picture frames and knick-knacks from his parent’s room.
Rudy’s bedroom door was closed and the letters that once spelled his name lay on the floor like forgotten bits of alphabet soup.
“For God’s sake, wait.” Jon stormed up the steps, gun in hand.
Ellis opened the door just as Jon joined him.
Cards, drawings, clothes, furniture, it lay in ruins. A dirty stench filled the air. Brown streaks painted the walls. Ellis fell to his knees. The more he stared the worse it became. Little things like Rudy’s books torn in half. His favorite stuffed animals gutted and his drafting table flattened. Anything and everything belonging to his brother had suffered.
First his brother had been taken from him and now he’d been robbed of Rudy’s memory.
Ellis’s thoughts mashed together until all he could see was Rudy’s broken body and his broken room.
Jon took Ellis by the arms and pulled him up. “C’mon. We need to leave.”
“No.” Ellis tried to shake him off.
“It may not be safe.”
“No.”
“Ellis—”
“This is my home. He came into my home. He did…” Rudy’s collection of VHS tapes lay crushed by the broken TV. “This.”
“I know, baby. Let’s go. Please. We’ll come back later.”
“He’s taken everything from me.” Jon shushed Ellis as he led him down the stairs. Glass crunched under their shoes and bits of wood stuck in the soles. There were pots and pans, and broken dishes leaking out of the kitchen, but it was nothing in comparison to the devastation to the memory of his brother.
By the time Jon got Ellis outside, every breath he took whistled into his lungs. “He’s taken everything, Jon. Everything.”
“It will be okay.”
“No. It won’t.”
This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. Ellis refused to let it. But it was and he was powerless.
Jon holstered his gun. Ellis hadn’t even realized he’d gotten it out.
“Here.” Jon opened the car door.
“I don’t want to leave.” Ellis needed to keep vigil over what was left.
“I know but it isn’t safe.” Jon slid behind the wheel and cranked up the car.
“Why didn’t he just burn it down?” Even as he asked the question Ellis knew why. Burning it was too clean, whereas this raped him of everything he held dear.
And Lenny had succeeded in doing just that. Ellis was raped, humiliated, and crushed to a pile of nothing. With his mind in a fog, he didn’t even realize Jon had driven into town until he parked.
Ellis knew this place with its ice cream parlor pinched between tourist shops, and at the same time, it was foreign to him. “Why are we here?”
“I need a phone to call George.”
Jon thumbed a tear from his eye. “Can I trust you to stay here?”
“Where am I going to go?” The reality of those words burned a hole through Ellis’s body. He no longer had anywhere to go. It was gone. All of it. Broken, battered, violated in the most obscene ways.
Jon pressed his lips to Ellis’s forehead. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why is this happening to me? Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished?”
“No. This isn’t about anything you’ve done.”
“But isn’t it? I was so tired of being trapped at home. I was so frustrated with having to take care of Rudy and never getting to do the things I dreamed of. I asked for this, didn’t I?”
“No, you didn’t.” He put a hand on Ellis’s cheek. “I promise this isn’t about you.”
“But it is. Lenny has made it about both of us. He’s turned this into some type of war and he’s winning.”
Jon shushed him.
“Silence isn’t going to fix this. Nothing can fix it.” Ellis coughed and it sent a burn through his damaged vocal cords.
“I’ll get you something to drink.” Jon kissed him again. “Stay right here. I’ll be right back.” He went inside the drug store.
Would he lose Jon too? He was all Ellis had left. The anchor keeping him grounded inside the insanity. Without him the tide of madness would sweep him away.
If only he’d been strong enough to shoot Lenny the other night. If only Jon would hate him so he wouldn’t have to live through him being torn away.
A few brave tourists clumped together in groups and hung close to the buildings as they walked the square. Ellis might have dismissed the boy standing on the corner except for the way he was dressed. Overalls. No shirt. No shoes.
There was no denying the resemblance, from his tousled jet black hair, strong jaw and dark pools for eyes. He was the boy Jon had been.
Danny’s powerful gaze pulled at Ellis with physical force. He got out of the car.
The wind sank through his jacket and burned his cheeks. He crossed the road to the corner where Danny stood.
Bits of hay clung to Danny’s hair and there was a smear of dirt on his cheek. He reached into the chest pocket of his overalls, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and held it out to Ellis.
“What is it?” Ellis started to open it up, but Danny put a hand over his. His flesh was warm.
“It can see you now.”
Danny started to step back and Ellis grabbed his wrist. “What do you mean,
it
can see me?”
“The light shines. And it’s afraid.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will.”
“Ellis?”
He turned.
The solid flesh in his hand became air, but he still had the piece of paper.
Jon jogged up. “I thought you were going to stay in the car.” Jon nodded at the piece of paper.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Where did you get it?”
Ellis hugged it to his chest. “Your brother gave it to me.”
********
The occasional sip Ellis took from the can of soda kept the silence inside the car from stagnating.
How long had it been? Ten minutes, twenty? Jon stared out the windshield while Ellis turned the folded piece of paper over in his hands.
“Are you going to open it?”
“He said something to me, but it didn’t make any sense.”
“What did he say?” Did Jon want to know?
“He said, ‘It can see you now’ and then ‘The light shines. And it’s afraid.’ When I told him I didn’t understand, he said ‘You will.’” There was hope and tragedy in Ellis’s gaze. “Do you know what he meant?”
“No.”
Ellis continued to flip the square of paper.
“I think you should open it.”
“Did you get a hold of George?”
“His wife said he was at the sheriff’s station.”
“Why?”
“She couldn’t say, just that they called him in for some reason.”
Ellis stared at the square of paper.
“Please open it.”
He put the can of soda in the cup holder. “What do you think it is?”
“I don’t have a clue.”
Ellis paused at the last fold. “What if it’s something bad?”
“It could be. But it could also be something good.” Jon prayed it was, because Ellis needed something bright in all this darkness.
The crinkling of the paper filled the car.
A big red heart with a tracing of hand in the center, broke apart the field of white. Fractured letters near the bottom spelled Rudy’s name. Jon swallowed around the lump in his throat.
“Jon?”
“Yeah, sweetheart.”
“I think I might be losing my mind.” Ellis held the sheet close to his chest.
“If you are, I’m on the train sitting beside you.”
Ellis smiled a little. “Do you think we should tell George?”
“Maybe later.” Not if last night was an indication as to how he would react. “Let’s go talk to him about the house first.”
George’s car was parked in the employee lot.
Jon pulled into a visitor space. “Do you want to go with me or stay here?”
“I’ll go.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes I do.”
The woman behind the sliding glass window had them wait in the lobby while she went to see if George was available.
“Do you think he’ll even see us?” Ellis said.
“Hope so.”
The door in the back opened and she waved them in. “Down the hall, fourth door on your right.”
A man in a suit stepped out as they approached. He gave them a polite nod as he passed. Inside the office George looked over some papers.
“Are you sure you’re retired? You still have an office,” Jon said.
George’s gaze was all business but he smiled. “It’s not mine. It’s Detective Sparks’s. I just came in here to take a phone call and have some privacy while the DA and I talked.” He put the papers on the desk. “What can I do for you two?”
Ellis sat on the edge of one of the chairs. A tremor danced up his jaw.
“Ellis?” The heat of George’s anger vibrated the air between him and Jon.
Ellis swallowed several times. “Lenny destroyed the house.”
“What?”
“He came into my home, George…he came into my home…he destroyed Rudy’s things.”
“Not just Rudy’s room,” Jon said. “The windows have been shot out, and he wrote a lot of ugly things on the walls. He also slashed the tires on Ellis’s truck.” The burning in Jon’s eyes threatened to spill down his cheeks. Even right after the warehouse disaster he didn’t cry, but this was different because it was Ellis.
“Are you two okay?”
“We weren’t there.” Jon cleared his throat. “We stayed at a hotel last night in Maysville.”
“I didn’t want to go home,” Ellis said. “I should have.”
“You’re lucky you didn’t.” George picked up the phone. “Seems like it’s gonna be one of those days.” He spoke to the person on the other end of the line, then hung up. “Sheriff Barry said he’ll go out there with a couple of officers.”
“I didn’t go over the place,” Jon said. “If he’s got booby traps, someone might get hurt.”
“Barry said the same thing. He’ll call the K9 unit in Maysville. They’ll let us borrow someone.”
The phone rang. George picked it up. “This is Marsh.” He massaged his forehead. “Norris, my answer is the same now as it was twenty minutes ago.” His gaze flicked to Ellis then down again. “And if you do that I’ll have your hide as a rug in front of my fire place. He does not need this right now. I don’t care. I don’t care about that either. If I jumped every time a prisoner complained about the food, my ass would never touch a chair again.” George gave them his back. This time when he spoke it was a harsh whisper. “Have some decency. He’s been through enough. Goddamn it, I said no.”
George turned his chair back around and hung up the phone.
“Was that about me?” Ellis said.
“It’s nothing.”
“If it’s about me, I think I deserve to know.”
“Ellis—”
“Please tell me.”
George’s gaze fell to the floor for a moment. “For the past couple of weeks Russell has requested to see you, but don’t worry, there’s nothing he can do to force you to. I checked and double checked with the DA.”
“Why does he want to see him?” Jon said.
“Damn fool is ranting about Ellis helping him.” George clenched his fists as if he could strangle the man with a thought. “Crazy bastard.”
“Help him?”
“Apparently Louis was found dead in his cell at the beginning of the month.”
“What happened?” Jon said.
“Coroner said it was some type of autoimmune disease. He had a mile long word for it, but basically his insides melted. Now Russell seems convinced he’s next. Has himself so riled he’s lost a lot of weight.” George tossed a hand. “His lawyer is having a cow.”
“I want to see him,” Ellis said.
“There’s no reason for you to feel obligated to entertain his request.”
“I know. But I want to see him.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I need to.”
Jon put a hand on Ellis’s shoulder. “You sure?” Ellis didn’t need any more stress. With everything else that had happened he had to barely be holding it together. Jon was barely holding it together.