“Where am I supposed to go?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure exactly what you and your mom discussed, but your mother and I decided you are old enough to take care of yourself.” Her father sounded like he was already bored with the conversation. That was when her pulse started thudding in her ears. She could barely breathe.
“I know, I…I…can.” She could. She could find her things. She could find a new place to live. Everything would be fine. “This is all because I won’t marry Jeff?”
“I have no feelings for Jeffery either way, but I do not approve of this new person. I will not support any life you have with her.”
Annie forgot all about her things then. “Dad, I love her. Why can’t you and Mom see how much that matters?”
“Perhaps the same way you can’t see how reckless your behavior has been. I’m sure Megan or one of your friends will help you out. Though if this woman cares about you enough to come between you and Jeffery and enough to risk her job, then I don’t see why she would have a problem taking care of you.”
“Dad—”
“Annie, I have let you do exactly what you have wanted to do for years. I thought you would come around, maybe even do something respectable with your education, but I see that you don’t take yourself seriously. You work in a ridiculous medium and call it a career, but you can’t even afford your lifestyle. I knew I’d wasted my money on sending you to film school, and I see I’ve wasted more money on this wedding. Now, I want you to pay for your own selfish decisions.”
“What about Mom and her dogs and that stupid store?”
“Her store is paying for itself. Unlike you, your mom understands that her actions have consequences. I wanted grandchildren, Annie, not a permanent girlfriend of yours with a pornographic history I’ll have to explain to my partners. You’ve hurt your mother and you’ve embarrassed me and yourself.”
“So this is it? You’re disowning me?” It wasn’t a matter of choosing between Oksana and her family. Her parents had already made that decision for her.
“I’m giving you a chance to grow up. This way your bad decisions are your own. I’d like you to recognize that you can’t just make certain decisions because of how you
feel
. Maybe when you see that things like money and class matter, you won’t be so careless.”
Annie stared blankly at the ground, watching it blur behind her tears.
“You have the unit until the end of the year. Hopefully, it won’t take you that long to get yourself together.”
“Okay,” she murmured.
“Good-bye.”
*
Oksana was close to rubbing her head raw. She hadn’t heard from Annie in almost a full twenty-four hours. That wasn’t like Annie. Oksana called and left messages and she texted, but she hadn’t heard a word back. Her next move was stopping by Annie’s office and then her house.
She didn’t think she’d done anything crazy like challenging Feather to a duel, but shit happened. Like car accidents and wildfires. And then there were the lasting effects of a Hurricane Mrs. Collins. Oksana was over all this shit with the guests and Annie feeling guilty that she’d called things off. Still, she couldn’t help but picture Annie lying on her couch, crying in a fetal position over something some insensitive relative or fair-weather friend had said about her leaving Jeff. She had to know Annie was okay. As soon as she dropped Kat at home.
She took her change from the drive-thru window and handed Kat her soda. Her craving for nuggets had given Baba the night off from cooking. As Oksana pulled into traffic, her phone started buzzing in her lap.
“Hey, grab that for me.” Kat hit accept and held the phone up to Oksana’s ear.
“Hello?”
“Hey. It’s Megan.”
A deep chill ran through Oksana’s skin. “Is she okay? Is she with you?”
“Yeah. She’s at my place. You should come over.”
“Text me your address. I’m on my way.”
Minutes later, she was pulling up to Megan’s apartment building. She parked in a red zone across the street with explicit instruction to Kat to watch the car.
“I got it. Just go get Annie.” That was Oksana’s only plan.
The doorman let her into the building, and after a quick conversation with the concierge, she was buzzed up to Megan’s apartment. The door opened as soon as she knocked. Megan looked exhausted.
“Hey. She’s in here.” Oksana followed Megan to her living room where she found Annie crying in a fetal position on the couch. She was in some sweats that didn’t belong to her. The legs and sleeves were too long. Oksana slid into the cushions beside her, pulling Annie’s feet into her lap. They hadn’t spent the night together in almost a week. Oksana missed Annie’s heat and her softness. It took a while, a lot more crying, some hiccups, but Annie explained what had happened with her parents and her house in Venice.
Oksana turned to Megan who sat on the matching loveseat. She almost asked her to give them a second alone, but she thought better of it. Maybe Megan could help. She leaned back over Annie and brushed her hair off her face.
“Come stay with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You think it’s too soon?”
“No…that’s not it.”
“You can take the little house and I’ll go crash up in the big house for a while.”
“That’s not it. I…” Annie sat up and put her feet on the floor. “I need to do this alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were right. There’s an order to things. I shouldn’t have rushed you into this. I should have waited.”
Oksana took a deep breath and asked. “Is this you talking or your mom?”
“No! It’s me.” Annie wiped her face. “I have no clue what I’m doing. I have places to sleep, but nowhere to live. I was floating with Jeff and I floated into you, and now my life is a mess. I can’t bring my problems into your home.”
“Do you hear yourself? I’m offering. You can come stay with us.”
“I can’t. I have to do this on my own.”
Oksana stood and paced to the unnecessary fireplace and back to the couch. She was trying so hard to control her flaring temper, but it was too difficult. Annie had begged her for this. She’d chased Oksana, told her everything would be okay. She promised she wouldn’t push her away, and here they were. Oksana was begging and Annie was shoving with all her strength.
“Is crying in Megan’s living room ‘doing this on your own’?” It was the wrong thing to say, but it was how Oksana felt. Annie cried even harder.
“I just need some time. I love you and I appreciate your offer. I just have to figure some stuff out.” Oksana stopped near the couch and counted to ten. This wasn’t a breakup. It was a break, and to Oksana it sounded pretty fucking ridiculous. They didn’t need a break. Annie needed to come with Oksana. It was that simple, but Annie Collins didn’t do simple. Oksana knew that from the very beginning. Everything had been a scheme or a plan, and now that the rug had been ripped out from under her, Annie needed to reassess on her own terms. Well, that was fine with Oksana. She had her own terms too. She’d reached her limit on patience.
She glanced at Megan who tossed her hand in the air with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. That one look said it all. Annie was going to be ridiculous. She was set on driving this wedge between them, and there was nothing Oksana or Megan could say in that moment to change the way Annie was thinking.
“Fine. Take all the time you need,” she said as she headed for the front door.
“Oksana.”
“What?” She turned as Annie stood up from the couch.
“Please. I’m sorry.”
“I’m tired of hearing that, Anne. If you want to be with me then fucking be with me. If you need to go on a vision quest to find yourself, then do that. I have been so understanding with you, so patient. And you kept saying ‘I know, I know. I understand. I want you to trust me. I want us to work.’ Well, now you want to wallow in your own pity. So I’ll let you do that. I can’t offer you any more.” She nodded to Megan. “I’ll let myself out.”
Annie called to her again, but this time Oksana didn’t turn around. For once, she had to be the one to walk away.
*
Annie woke up to the sun rising and the pungent smell of coffee. She rolled over and almost fell on the floor. Right, she thought. Still on Megan’s couch. On the third try, she managed to stand up and shuffle to the kitchen. Her eyes were killing her and her head was pounding. A complete emotional breakdown led to one hell of a hangover.
She found Megan flipping through
US Weekly
, drinking a cup of coffee.
“Morning,” Annie ground out. Her voice was almost gone. Another side effect of losing your mind.
“There’s coffee and juice and yogurt. And I put your glasses on the mantel.” Megan nodded toward her new makeshift bedroom.
“Thanks.” Annie dug for a glass and poured herself some juice. She wanted a shower before she gave herself a caffeine injection.
“I take it you’re all cried out?” Megan finally asked.
“Yeah, I think so. I think I ruptured something in my eye.”
Megan grabbed her chin and tilted her head up. “No, you’re fine. And now I have something to say.”
“What?” Annie felt another lecture coming on.
“I want you out of here like ASAP. I hate sharing my space. I love the things Scooter can do to me. Love them, and he’s slept here once. I love you to death, but eventually, I will kick you out and I’d like to do it soon.”
“Wha—” Annie was shocked. Just the night before Megan had been welcoming, almost eager to help her out, and now she was already showing her the door. She’d stopped by her storage unit, but none of the boxes stacked to the ceiling were labeled. Annie freaked out before she called Megan, before she’d found her essentials. She didn’t even have a change of clothes yet, let alone a plan for a new apartment.
Megan set down her coffee. “You’re a fucking idiot. Go stay with her. Go
live
with her.”
Not this again. “It’s not that simple. My parents have done some shitty things, but my dad had a point. I have to slow down. I have to get out on my own for once, Megan. I have to figure out what I need and not just what I want in the moment.”
“Is that all she was to you? Something for the moment, because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how you made her feel.”
“No, I…” Shit.
“Think about it. From what you told me, you came on pretty strong. You pressed things when she wanted you to slow down, and then the moment shit gets rough, you freak—”
“And I shut her out.”
“Exactly. You didn’t ditch her at the movies, Annie. She asked you to move in with her. She’s offering you a home, the ultimate invitation into her life, and you shut her down like she was asking you to chop off your thumbs to prove your love.”
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” The dull thudding in Annie’s head escalated to a full-on pounding. “She’s never going to speak to me again.”
“Can you blame her? She almost got fired for you and then you’re all, ‘I just need a minute.’ Screw your minute. She loves you. A lot. So please, get the hell off my couch and go fix things with her.”
Megan was right. Annie had taken all her pain and frustration out on the worst person, the one person she didn’t want to hurt. The one person she loved, and now Oksana probably thought Annie truly was a flaky, spoiled brat.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, but really, you have to get out. I mean soon. I might not like Scooter sleeping here, but I hate fucking at his place. It’s like a frat house mated with a barn.” Annie laughed at that visual. “Since you have blown it for the moment, I will help you find an apartment. Some place cheap and pretty.”
Annie had done a quick run-through of her available finances and kicked herself for not saving properly. Luckily, she had about enough for a small place and some pre-loved furniture. She’d have to go without things like cable and take-out for a while, but she could do it. Too bad the one person she wanted to share it with wanted nothing to do with her.
“I am so stupid.” Annie sighed.
“Yes, you are. Now get dressed. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.” Annie looked at the clock.
“You go into the office this early?”
“Yes. Some of us have to keep this industry running.”
Annie showered quickly and changed back into her clothes from the day before. Luckily, the department store near her office opened at eight. The first order of business was new jeans and underwear. The second, convince Oksana to speak to her again.
*
A month had gone by since Oksana left Annie on Megan’s couch. For two weeks, Annie apologized incessantly. Each text annoyed the hell out of Oksana, but she read them all. A bunch of
I love yous
, and
I miss yous
, and
please forgive mes
. An odd change, though, began to weaken her resolve.
Annie started sending her apologies that sort of made Oksana laugh.
Do you know how hard it is for me to reach things on high shelves without you?
My diet is suffering without Baba in my life. Please don’t keep her away from me.