The Forest Ranger's Husband (15 page)

Urgency caused her to hurry to her office. She planned to call Matt and schedule a meeting at her place later that eve
ning. She’d see if Sue could watch Davie for her, and then Andie would fix dinner for Matt. They needed time alone. He’d been offered a promotion…and he’d turned it down. So he could stay with his family. Matt had changed after all.

The fire dispatch interrupted her thoughts, tapping against her door as he leaned through the threshold. “Andie, we’ve got a fire. A resident living in Lee was out hiking and spotted smoke.”

She blinked, transitioning her mind back to business. “Where?”

“Near Harrison Pass. It’s on BLM land, spreading fast. We’ve got a campground nearby.”

With these winds, the fire could spread fast. Numerous ranches dotted the valleys surrounding the Ruby Mountains along with cabins, mines and personal property. It all needed protection.

“We could have a number of small spot fires, too,” Andie said.

“Yeah, we could.”

“Okay, I’ll come down to your office for a more detailed report in just a minute.”

With a nod, he disappeared and Andie reached for her phone. Her personal desire to talk to Matt would have to wait. Knowing this routine well, she first called Susan. Davie was always her main priority, and she wanted to ensure he’d be taken care of while she was busy with the fire.

“Hello.” Sue’s voice sounded cheerful.

“Hi, sis. I just wanted to inform you that we’ve got a fire burning on BLM land that’s spreading rapidly. I may need you to watch Davie overnight for me.”

“Of course. Where’s the fire?” Sue asked.

Andie explained the location.

“Is it a big fire?”

“Getting that way. I was just outside and the wind is hor
rible, so I’m expecting it to take a while to get things under control.”

“Whatever you need. Just take care of yourself.”

Andie scrunched her shoulder up to hold the phone to her ear. With her hands free, she reached for her fire pack sitting on the floor behind her office door. During fire season, she kept it packed and ready at a moment’s notice. “Will do. I’ll call you periodically to check on Davie and give you updates on when I’ll be home. Tell him I love him.”

“Of course I will. Is Matt involved?”

Andie hesitated, not wanting to get into an ugly discussion with her sister right now. She’d squared Sue on her treatment of Matt, but sensed her sister still didn’t like him much. “I’m planning to call him next. As the fire control officer, he needs to be aware of every fire impacting the forest. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

Andie released a sigh. “Look, Sue. Matt’s been spending more and more time at my house. We went out to dinner for our anniversary, and he told me about the wildfire he was injured on. We—we’ve forgiven each other.”

Sue made an ugly sound. “What did you do that requires his forgiveness?”

“I said some pretty ugly things and sent him away. I’m just as much to blame as he is.”

“You didn’t hog-tie him and force him to go. We all have disagreements in our marriage, but that doesn’t mean our men are gonna take off because of it.”

Andie took a deep breath. “Sue, I say this with love and compassion. It’s not your business. It’s mine. And I just want to forget and move on with our lives.”

“That’s good, I suppose.” Sue’s voice sounded hesitant.

“You suppose?”

“Well, if you can forgive me for deleting Matt’s phone
calls, I suppose I shouldn’t hold a grudge against him for deserting you. He really told you about the wildfire he was injured on?”

Andie’s heart beat faster just thinking about what Matt had gone through. “Yeah, he’s hurting inside, with good reason. I want to help him.”

“You’re not falling for him again out of sympathy, are you?”

Andie gripped the phone hard. “Not out of sympathy, but I think he’s suffered enough, don’t you?”

Sue coughed. “I suppose.”

“He’s still my husband, sis. You may need to adjust to the idea of us getting back together again.”

“Do you love him?”

“I never stopped.” Saying the words out loud seemed to take away Andie’s fear. She loved him. She wanted to be with him. Forever.

“And does Matt love you?”

“He’s made it clear he wants to be with Davie and me.”

A pregnant pause followed. “But has Matt said the words to you?”

Andie took a long time in responding, her voice whisper soft. “Not exactly, but I haven’t been too receptive until now.”

Sue asked another question. “You don’t think it’s too soon to get back together?”

Andie released a deep breath. “I think we’ve been apart long enough.”

Sue gave a half-hearted laugh. “Yeah, you have. If you love each other, then it’s time. But don’t worry about me. I’ll be nice to him and support you in whatever you decide. No matter what, we’ll always be sisters.”

A feeling of relief warmed Andie’s heart. She adored her sister and didn’t want her marriage to come between them.
“Amen to that. Thanks, Sue. I appreciate it. And I love you. Now I’ve got to go.”

“I love you, too. Talk to you later.”

Andie hung up the phone, a strange feeling of elation pulsing through her veins.
If she and Matt got back together.
She could actually imagine her fondest wish becoming a reality. She’d forgiven Matt. Really forgiven him. And he’d forgiven her. In place of the anger and hate, she felt peace and love. A lightness of heart she hadn’t felt in years. As if they could forget the past and start over fresh. Like they could be great together and a real family again.

But did Matt love her? He’d told her he never should have left her. That he wanted to be a family again. But he hadn’t said the word
love.
Which made her wonder if his regret was inspired by guilt.

She shook her head. “You’re overthinking this, Andie. Just focus on the fire, and you can talk with Matt about this later.”

Rather than have the dispatcher call Matt’s office, Andie dialed the number herself. As she did so, the truth nagged at her. What if he didn’t love her? What if he just felt guilty for leaving her? She had no doubt he loved Davie. But loving a child and loving his mother were two different things. Before she got back together with Matt, she had to know the truth. They still had a lot to talk about.

“Minden National Forest. Sherry speaking.”

“Hi, Sherry. It’s Andie Cutter, er, Foster. Is Matt available?”

“I’m sorry, Andie, but he’s in a meeting. Can I take a message and have him return your call?”

Andie sighed. She longed to hear Matt’s voice. She’d been so happy, confessing her love for him. Uncertain whether he felt the same about her.

She’d just have to wait. In a few concise sentences, she re
layed the fire information to Sherry, then headed down to her dispatcher’s office. Within thirty minutes, she was dressed in her yellow fire-resistant shirt, white helmet and Nomex pants. She gazed out the windshield, concentrating on the road as she and her range assistant drove west on Interstate 228 toward the Ruby Mountains. An engine and fire crew accompanied her: twenty men and women composed of a resource crew boss, a squad boss, an advanced firefighter, and sixteen less-advanced firefighters. They were ready for battle.

Her talk with Matt would have to wait.

A
ndie leaned her hip against the map table her crew had set up at base camp beneath a large open-air tent. Hand crews of firefighters, engines fully loaded with retardant foam, large cats with plows attached, water tenders holding fifteen-hundred gallons of water, dozers and pumper trucks all moved across the area like a well-oiled machine.

The staging area rested at the base of the Ruby Mountains, just outside of Lee, Nevada. Catering stands with eating tables, portable toilets and showers, tents for sleeping, and telephones had been brought in, turning the base camp into a small community of three thousand men and women overnight.

The command team stood around the table, all of them gazing at the map. As the operations chief, Matt led the discussion. He leaned over the map and pointed at key areas, his strong fingers a bit dirty from working. “What we’ve got here is a Class D fire, covering over five thousand acres. We’re fighting the main fire out of Harrison Pass. We’ve also got hand crews working to flank and pinch out a number of spot fires.”

“Where are our spot fires?” Hank Dittmer, the incident commander, asked.

“Here by Ruby Dome, Griswold Lake, Verdi Peak and Echo Canyon.”

“Echo Canyon? Don’t we have a crew working just below Echo Lake?” Andie asked.

Matt straightened, his gaze meeting hers. “Yes, a type-one crew. They should have six programmable radios, but I’m concerned. We lost communication with them over an hour ago. They haven’t checked in.”

“That terrain is rugged and inaccessible. Why’d we send a crew up there?” Hank asked.

Andie had heard this before.
Rugged and inaccessible
had become a justification for inaction. “It’s inaccessible for pumpers, but a crew can handle it as long as they can work safely. If we ignore this fire, it’ll just get bigger and we’ll lose the opportunity to take control. They learned that with the South Canyon fire back in 1994.”

Matt frowned. “That’s right, but now Echo Canyon is acting like a chimney and we’ve got a buttonhook fire creeping over from below.”

Andie nodded in agreement. “I doubt the fire crew is aware of the danger. That canyon is filled with flash fuels, high temperatures, low humidity and squirrely winds going in and out. It’s a tragedy waiting to happen.”

Hank Dittmer pressed his palms against the tabletop as he perused the map. “We need to send a chopper in right now to see if we can find and warn the crew of the danger.”

“We certainly do,” Andie agreed.

“I’ll do it,” Matt offered.

Everyone looked at him, no one seeming to think his proposal odd, except for Andie. “Matt, you can’t go in. You don’t know the area.”

“Yes, I do. I hiked a number of the canyons on Ruby Mountain while I was training for my work-capacity test. Echo Canyon was one of them, although it took me two days
to hike up to Echo Lake. It was rough going, but if I hike in from above, I should be able to reach the crew within an hour.”

Andie stared at him, her mouth hanging open. So much for trying to claim he didn’t know the area and couldn’t go in. “You did?”

“Yep. I’ll take the small spotter chopper and see if I can find the crew.” Matt picked up his binoculars and peered through them as he scanned the mountain, training his gaze south toward Ruby Dome—the vicinity where the fire crew was working.

Without looking, Andie knew a cloud of black smoke billowed across the mountain with red flames licking beneath. Spot fires dotted the mountains, running downhill toward the numerous ranches sprinkled across the valley below. They’d called in hotshot crews from states across the nation and firefighters from almost every agency in Nevada to help. This was a big fire, and they had yet to gain control.

“That sounds like a good plan. Let me know as soon as the crew is evacuated from the area,” Hank said.

Matt lowered the binoculars and glanced at his watch. “It’s noon and already the air is hot.”

Hank nodded. “Yes, and the winds are escalating the fire. I’ve called in smoke jumpers to help the hotshot crews.”

Matt set the binoculars aside. “My past experience tells me the temperatures will climb high enough by midafternoon that the fire could explode up the canyon. The hotshot crew is working at the top of a chimney. If it explodes—”

Andie listened to this conversation with dread. On the one hand, Matt seemed calm and collected. The experienced wildfire fighter who knew his business. But what if he got up on the mountain and froze up? Once the chopper dropped him off, he’d need to hike across rocky terrain to the fire crew.
He’d be all alone. No one to help him. If he panicked or lost control, he could become disoriented and die.

On the other hand, if she objected strongly enough, it might come out that Matt had frozen up during a simple training operation and wasn’t of sound mind. Not only would that embarrass him, but it could also destroy his career, not to mention any reconciliation with Andie. It’d devastate him and he’d hate her. She couldn’t do that to him. Yet she couldn’t let him endanger his life, either.

She didn’t want him to go.

“When can you leave?” Hank asked.

“As soon as I get to the helipad,” Matt said.

No! This was moving way too fast.

“Matt, can I speak with you privately for a few moments?” Andie’s voice wobbled.

“Sure.” He rounded the table and followed her a short distance away where they could speak without someone listening in.

She took a breath and started to cough, the smoke-filled air burning her eyes. She rubbed them, hoping to ease the gritty feeling.

“What’s up?” he asked.

She faced him, meeting his gaze. He looked so handsome in his fire uniform. Handsome and strong. “Matt, don’t do this. You’re not ready to go.”

He smiled. “Sure I am. I’ve been training and preparing for this all my life.”

“But what about the wildfire when you were injured? I know that scarred you on the inside as well as on the outside. You haven’t dealt with it yet.”

He licked his lips and rested his hands on his lean hips. “I’ve been dealing with it in my own way. You’ll be happy to know I saw a psychologist.”

“You did?” Could she believe him?

“Yes, and I confided what happened on the wildfire. You were right. It felt good to talk about it and get it off my chest. I know I have a purpose in life. It’s not my time to go yet.”

She peered at him, feeling skeptical. “How many times have you seen this doctor?”

“Once, yesterday morning. I have another appointment next week. But it’s the Lord who’s really given me the therapy I need, Andie. I can’t explain it, but He’s been there for me like my best friend. I know He loves me. He’s watching out for us always.”

She snorted, lifting a hand to brush a wisp of hair out of her eyes. “One visit to the doctor isn’t going to make you whole again. You need time. It’ll take a lot of work.”

“That’s just it, Andie. I’ve been working on this problem for months now. And I don’t want it to ruin my life.”

“Then don’t go up on that mountain.”

“Now isn’t the time for this, Andie. But the point is that I’ve talked about what happened. To you and to my doctor. It hasn’t been easy, but I feel better already. And I finally understand why God spared my life.”

“You do?”

“Yes. So I could come home to you. To tell you how sorry I am and to be a father to Davie. It’s so clear to me now. And I’m awed by the Lord’s kindness. I regret that Jim died, but I made a promise to myself that I’d honor his memory by being the best man I possibly can. So he wouldn’t have died in vain.”

The conviction in his voice touched her like nothing else could. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’m so glad you’ve developed a close relationship with God.”

“Then you’ll understand why I’m going up to Echo Lake.”

She flinched. “Please don’t.”

“I’ll be okay, hon.” He squeezed her hand.

When he turned his back and headed toward the command
tent, he didn’t limp at all. She almost burst into tears. But she couldn’t. She was the ranger and must be an example to the people around her. She must remain strong and focused.

Matt picked up his fire pack and slung it over his shoulder as though the heavy weight was light as a daisy. She stared at him from head to toe, the fire-resistant shirt and wildfire boots with heavy lug soles and nine-inch tops extending up his calves.

She followed him, not ready to give in. “Matt—”

He spoke low so other people wouldn’t hear him. “I can’t hide just because I was hurt, Andie. They say when you get bucked off, you get right back on and ride again.”

“You were more than bucked off, Matt. One of your men died in that fire. I saw how you reacted during the training exercise. Someone else can go up to Echo Lake. Even me.”

“No, absolutely not. You’re not going.” He shook his head, his bloodshot eyes narrowed with determination. As part of the command team, they’d been living on four hours of sleep for the past three days.

“Why not? I’m not as experienced as you are, but I have the training.”

He reached out and brushed his knuckles against her cheek, looking deep into her eyes. “I know, sweetheart, but Davie needs you. Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m gonna be okay. Have a little faith.”

“No. Let’s wait another hour and see if we hear from the crew. Maybe they’re just busy and not paying attention.”

He shook his head, his stubborn jaw locked hard. “By then, it could be too late. If they don’t have an escape route, they’ll need time to clear an area. I’m going in to warn them now, before we lose any lives. I won’t lose another man on my watch. Not if I can help it.”

“Matt, please—”

“I’m happy, Andie. For the first time in a long time, I feel
at peace. It hasn’t been easy, but the Lord’s helped me realize that I can choose to be happy in my life regardless of what happens to me. I’ve chosen to be happy.”

What was he talking about? “What does that have to do with fighting wildfire?”

“I’m not afraid anymore, babe. I’ve turned my life over to the Lord. I can accept whatever He plans for me. Besides, I outrank you.”

A sick feeling washed over her. “You wouldn’t pull rank on me.”

“Try me.” He tilted his head, a lopsided grin curving his mouth.

She didn’t see anything humorous about the situation. “That’s really low.”

“Sorry, but I’m going in. Now do your job and pray that I reach them in time.”

He turned to walk toward a green Forest Service truck. She knew he’d drive to the helipad they’d set up half a mile away and fly up on the mountain where he’d be dropped off at a remote site and hike down to the hotshot crew.

She clasped his arm and pulled him back, glancing around to see who might be watching their exchange. In the sea of fire personnel, equipment and smoke, it seemed she and Matt were all alone. An island unto themselves. “Is that what this is all about? You feel you need to prove yourself by rescuing that crew?”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t need to prove myself. But someone needs to go in, Andie. And I’m the operations chief. It’s my job to ensure the safety of my people above all else.”

She stared at the bright red neck shroud he wore around his throat. During heavy fire, he could pull it up to protect his face and lungs. “Where are your goggles?”

“Right here.” He patted one of the deep cargo pockets on his Nomex pants.

This couldn’t be happening. “You’ll be all alone up there. If you get into trouble, there won’t be anyone to help you.”

Her voice rose to a shrill whisper. Panic dotted her skin. She couldn’t let him go. She couldn’t lose him. Not again.

He brushed his fingertips against her lips, soft and loving. “I won’t be alone, Andie. The Lord will be with me, and so will you.”

If only she could have as much faith as he did. “Matt, please—”

He kissed her, soft yet urgent. She gripped folds of his shirt with her hands, not wanting to let him go.

“I love you. So much. I’ll be back.” He spoke against her hair.

I love you.
The magic words she’d longed to hear.

She didn’t think to react until he’d pulled away. Her head spun dizzily, and she couldn’t digest what was happening. Then he was gone. She went still, her breath coming in shallow gasps. She barely had time to gather her wits before he climbed inside the truck, started the engine and drove away.

He looked back at her in his rearview mirror. She jogged after him, wanting to stop him somehow. Did he have a death wish? Just how stable was he? Maybe she was worried about nothing. And yet, she couldn’t take the chance. Not when it might mean his life.

She glanced at another truck, tempted to chase after him. But she couldn’t. She was needed here at the command station. She couldn’t leave her post. And she couldn’t stop him, either.

If only Matt hadn’t passed the arduous level of his work-capacity test, he wouldn’t be able to go. But he had. She had no right to question his authority. No right to worry about him now. He was a trained professional, and she had to let him go.

She pressed a hand to her mouth, biting down on her index finger. Any number of things could go wrong.

“Hey, Andie, you okay? You look white as a ghost.” Phil, her fire assistant, entered the open-air tent, staring at her face.

“I’m fine.” She looked away so he wouldn’t see the alarm in her eyes. Or the tears. Forest rangers didn’t cry. Not about this. And yet, she had so much to lose. Just when she and Matt had found each other again, he might be taken away. She and Davie loved and needed Matt so much.

Davie! What would she tell her son if something bad happened to his father?

Please, Lord. Please watch over Matt. Keep him safe and bring him home to me.

The prayer filled her heart. Never had she prayed so hard in all her life. All she could rely on now was her faith in God.

Another man came inside the tent and Andie recognized him as Alex Merritt, the branch director working underneath Matt. “You know we’ve got a hotshot crew working up above that buttonhook fire. We need to reestablish communication with them.”

Phil jerked his thumb toward Andie. “The forest ranger’s husband just flew in to locate and warn them.”