The Games We Play Vol. 3 (Riley Grayson) (10 page)

“I know my actions hurt your father, and I’ve spent so many years apologizing, trying to make it up to him, but he was never able to fully get past what I’d done.”

Her mom wiped her eyes and took a deep breath as if trying to prepare herself for what she had to say next, which only made Ali’s stomach twist even more. She wasn’t sure how many more true confessions she could handle, or what other secrets were hidden away.

“So,” Ali licked her lips, “what’s going on now, Mom? Is Dad out cheating on you to get even or something? And how can you stick around knowing he’s doing this to you? Do you feel like you owe him for sticking by you after your affair?” Once she started speaking, she couldn’t stop. She had piled up so many questions over the last couple of days, all of which needed an answer. “Because this is all really messed up. All my life I thought you and Dad had this perfect, loving marriage. And then I see Jada find a man and get married and their love is perfect, too. Is it all a lie? Is this what real love is? Lies and deception and cheating and revenge? All in the name of making it work?”

“Oh, Allison.” More tears fell down her mom’s cheeks, but she made no move to wipe them away. “Is that what you truly think? That love is one big lie?”

“What else am I supposed to think? My world has crashed down around me these past couple of weeks. Everyone I trusted has lied to me or betrayed me.” Ali’s breath hitched and she forced herself to calm down.

Her mother gave her a searching look but held back the questions Ali could see forming, wanting to know more about what was going on in her own life. Ali still hadn’t told them why she and Pat had broken up.

“After my affair, your father and I spent years in marriage counseling trying to salvage what we could, but whatever spark we’d had for each other had vanished. There was no getting it back.”

“Then why did he stay? If he was that hurt by you, why didn’t he just leave? Why hang around all these years? Why would
you
stay? Why are you two even still married?” Ali’s voice rose with each word she spoke and she tried to stop it, but the more her mother said, the angrier and more confused Ali became.

Love was so fucked up, and if this was what it really was, Ali wanted no part of it whatsoever.

“At his core, your father is a family man. Always has been. He couldn’t stand the thought of you growing up without a father, and he didn’t want to have to raise Jada in a broken home.”

Ali resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was more like he didn’t want to have to share custody of Jada and as an afterthought Ali reaped the benefits of having a father in her life.

“Then what’s the excuse now? Both Jada and I are out of the house. It’s not like we can’t handle the idea of you guys getting a divorce. We’re not children anymore.”

Her mom nodded. “And your father and I have discussed that very same thing. But it’s not so simple, Allison. We can’t just go down to the courthouse, sign some papers and be divorced. It doesn’t work that way. We have a very long and complicated history together.”

“Yeah, no shit.”Ali gave her mom a disbelieving look, and for once her mother ignored the cursing. “So you’re telling me it’s just easier, more
convenient
, to stay married? To stay trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who’s cheating on you?” She could hear the loathing in her voice and wished she could make it stop. “What’s the point?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. It’s easier to stay married than to get divorced. Not only is it an emotional drain but there are so many financial considerations to make and we need to stay together for you and your sister. We are all a family, Allison.”

Ali sighed and shook her head with disgust. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” She stood, prepared to leave when her mom grabbed Ali’s arm.

“Sit.” When Ali finally sat back down, her mom continued. “First of all, I love your father. He’s a wonderful man, and I’m blessed to have him in my life. Secondly, and you’re going to find this hard to believe but, he’s not cheating on me.”

Ali opened her mouth to protest, but clamped it shut when her mom gave her a stern look. It was the same look Ali always got as a child when she tried to argue her way out of a punishment.

“He’s doing so with my permission.”

Ali’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “What?” She had to have misheard. Why in hell would her mom, or any woman, give the man they claimed to love permission to cheat? It was like Ali had stepped into some alternate, bizarre universe where there were no rules and no love. It was pure insanity. “So you guys decided the only way to make it work was to have an open marriage?”

Ali’s mom cocked her head to the side and looked at her feet. She had never thought about it like that. “When your father and I realized we weren’t ever going to have a normal marriage because of everything that had happened, we decided to stay together for the sake of you and Jada, and because, well, honestly, it just looked better to everyone involved. Things weren’t as easy back then as they are today. People passed judgment harsher. My parents, your grandparents, would have disowned me. But we stayed together and we did so with the firm understanding we had the freedom to see other people.”

“Oh my God.” Ali dropped her face into her hands and groaned.

Her parents were in an open marriage? She’d watched a documentary about this once, which she thought was the most ridiculous thing in the world. If you needed to ‘see other people’ then you shouldn’t be married. Period. That had always been Ali’s position and it didn’t change now just because her parents were engaging in this absurdity. It was all a front. A false image to make others believe they were normal. How effing messed up!

“Look, I know this is a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to understand, but it—”

“How, Mom? How can you two kiss each other and tell each other ‘I love you’ and sleep in the same bed every single night knowing you’ve both been with other people? Doesn’t that bother you?”

Her mom was thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. “It did in the beginning, but not anymore. This is what it is, Allison. It works for us, and may I remind you it has served you and your sister well all your lives, too. We made sacrifices for both of you. It’s not your place to judge us for the choices we’ve made or the lives we’ve chosen. And I do in fact love him. Very much.”

Ali sat slack jawed and stared at her mom. So many conflicting thoughts raced through Ali’s mind and she couldn’t make sense of any of them. Despite her mom’s defense of this lifestyle, Ali could see the pain and regret in her mother’s eyes. Clearly this wasn’t the life she had envisioned way back when she’d met Ali’s father, but it was her fault for staying, for putting up with this, for having the affair that led to all of this.

“And what happens if you or Dad fall in love with someone else? What happens then?” Ali’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Her mom shrugged. “I don’t know. That hasn’t happened, so I suppose we’ll cross that bridge if and when the time comes.” She smiled. “Your father is upset with himself for being so careless, for allowing himself to be caught like that. But what were you doing all the way out there anyway?”

“I was on a date,” she said quickly.

She smiled again. “You and Pat made up? I’m so happy to hear that.”

“No, Mom. Pat and I didn’t make up. He cheated on me, and then left me to be with the other girl. I wasn’t with him,” Ali snapped. She wished she could take that back. She’d vowed not to tell her parents the truth of what happened with Pat but it was too late now.

“Oh.” She frowned. Her face said it all. She was saddened by the fact that her daughter’s love life may be headed down the same path as hers. “Then who were you with?”

“A guy I met on New Year’s Eve. His name’s Riley.”

“You know the rules about dating, Allison. Why haven’t you brought him here to meet me and your father?”

Ali rolled her eyes.
Rules?!
Who cared about rules when it came to relationships. Plus, how could she possibly tell her mother it was because she and Riley weren’t technically dating, that they were more like fuck buddies than anything else? Her life really was like her parents’.

“It was our first date, Mom. Besides, it doesn’t matter because I’m not going to see him again. Ever.”

Her mom’s eyes narrowed in that way Ali knew to mean she was skeptical of what Ali said. Ali averted her gaze, hating it when her mother looked at her like that. And who was she to pass such judgment? Especially after all the bombshells that were dropped this week.

“Why not?”

“Because I found out he was sleeping with someone else while going out with me.”

There was a small gasp and then her mom’s hand went to her chest, covering her heart. “Oh, Allison. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. And then you find out about this with me and your dad. Oh God.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Ali stood again. She’d had enough for one day. She didn’t want to hear anything more about her parents’ marriage or their cheating habits. Apparently, it was just how the world operated.

Nor did she want to sit here and get pity from her mother. The same woman she now didn’t know whether or not to look up to. Especially when it came to relationship advice.

“Now you know why I’m so damn angry! Honestly, Mom. What’s the point of falling in love if this is how it ends?” Ali gestured around at the inside of the house. “It’s just not worth it,” Ali grumbled, grabbing her purse and leaving the house without another word.

It was Friday. Day six since his date with Ali. Still no phone calls or text messages from her. He’d given up trying to contact her. What was the point? Her actions made her decision crystal clear to him. Riley was a downright miserable prick. He knew it, and he didn’t give a shit. He’d fucked Veronica in her office this week. She’d let him get rough and nasty, which was what he needed to relieve his pent up frustration. But even she couldn’t fill the gaping hole that Ali’s absence had opened up.

He spent every single night at a different bar or club with Jackson, trolling for women. And Riley managed to find a few to flirt with but he could never go as far as he wanted. Truth be told, he was hoping against hope that he’d run into Ali, but no such luck.

So he did the only thing he could—he picked up a different woman here and there, made out with her but could never find it in him to fuck her. It was so unlike him.

The past two nights he didn’t even make it out of the bar. He’d dragged the women into the bathroom thinking he was going to give it to them hard against the wall, but it was once again a disappointing performance.

But the reality of it was, no matter how many women he had, no matter how hard he tried, it did nothing to assuage the burning in his gut and the feelings he harbored for Ali.

Riley needed Ali. There was no way around it. He needed her. Needed to see her smiling face, needed to look into her big, green eyes, needed to feel her soft lips against his, needed to feel her warm body welcoming him as he made love to her. There was just no way around it. He’d let his guard down and one way or another he was going to find a way to get what he wanted.

She’d run out on him because some dumb bitch he didn’t even know texted him a nude photo and Ali had seen it. Knowing the constant gnawing he felt in his body was from his desire for Ali, he wasn’t doing anything to change his ways. He was out every damn night trying his best to get over his funk. He knew if Ali found out what he’d been doing, she definitely wouldn’t ever give him the time of day. He was playing a dangerous game. What if he did run into Ali and he had another woman hanging all over him? What would he do then? He hoped she’d be jealous and come crawling back but would it work? She wasn’t that type of girl.

He should stop acting like a dick and man up if he ever wanted to have another chance with Ali.

But why? She couldn’t even be bothered to call him back. Why should he change for her? Riley Grayson didn’t change for anyone. Fuck that bullshit. All of his chasing ass and screwing Veronica was revenge against Ali. She was the one who’d left him hanging. She was the one who never called him back. It was her who made him feel this way and it was going to be her he was going to get revenge upon.

Riley grabbed the bottle of Patron and poured himself four shots. Then he downed each one of them in succession. He’d already drank a six pack of beer and half a bottle of Jack Daniels. He and Jackson had smoked a joint in the car before coming into the club, and now there was another one being passed around the private VIP booth they’d snagged. Although it wasn’t very private when Jackson kept bringing in different girls and inviting dudes who “looked cool to hang with.”

Reaching for the communal blunt, Riley took a deep drag, letting the pot seep into his lungs, savoring the relief of blowing out the smoke. There was a blonde on his right and a redhead on his left. They’d both been eye-fucking him all night. If he had his way, he’d bang both of them. Or at least try.

The redhead leaned over and put her mouth over his, sucking the smoke from his mouth as he exhaled. Then she kissed him. He was too messed up to care so he indulged her, letting his tongue explore her mouth. He needed to let go of his feelings for Ali.

“What do you say we get out of here? Go someplace a little more private?” she asked, teasing his bottom lip with her tongue.