The Games We Play Vol. 3 (Riley Grayson) (8 page)

Ali’s mom stepped out into the sun room and closed the sliding doors behind her. “Okay. What’s going on? Are you in some sort of trouble?” Her mom motioned for Ali to take a seat next to her.

The concern in her voice tore at Ali’s heart, and before she could stop it, tears spilled down her cheeks. “No.” Her lips trembled. “I don’t know how to say this, Mom, so I guess I just need to say it.”

“Oh honey.” Her mother stood and pulled Ali into her chest for a hug. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

Ali began to shake uncontrollably as she thought about how she was going to word her thoughts. Her mom squeezed her hug tighter and more tears fell, almost as if her mom was squeezing them out of her. After a minute, Ali calmed a bit, took a deep breath and just said it. “Dad’s having an affair,” she mumbled into her mother’s embrace.

Holding Ali out at an arm’s length, her mother studied her. Ali held her gaze despite her blurred vision from the heavy tears that swelled her eyes. “Why on earth would you think your father is having an affair?” Laughing, her mom turned her back and looked out toward the yard.

Ali didn’t want her mom to let go of her. She needed them to be strong together. “Because I saw him. Last night. He was going into a restaurant with some woman.”

“Really, Allison. You have such an active imagination.” She turned to face Ali once again. Stunned by her mother’s reaction, Ali began to bawl even harder. “You know your father is always taking clients out and meeting with friends for business.”

Ali curled her hands into fists, her fingernails biting into her palms. That was the one thing she hated about her mother: she was the queen of avoiding problems. “Mom,” Ali said through clenched teeth, “this wasn’t a client and it wasn’t just a friend. I saw Dad cram his tongue down her throat.”

Her mom winced and turned her back once more.
Good. Maybe I’m finally getting through to her
.

“And then I saw him grab her ass!” Ali needed to let her mom know the severity of the situation.

“Watch your language, young lady!”

Ali threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Did you hear me? Dad’s cheating on you!” She said it loud enough for her father to hear inside. She didn’t care anymore. Nothing was going her way anyway, so who the eff cared?

“I had hoped this day would never come,” her mom mumbled as she took a seat on the wicker couch. She patted the spot next to her again. “Sit. We need to have a talk.”

Ali’s heart stopped and her stomach dropped.
Oh my God, she knows! Mom knows about Dad’s affair.

Stunned, Ali sat down next to her mother. Whatever was coming wasn’t going to be good. Suddenly, Ali wished she hadn’t taken Hilary’s advice to come here and confront her mother. She knew that whatever was about to come out of her mother’s mouth wasn’t going to be easy. Her face said it all.

“The day I found out I was pregnant with Jada, your father lost his job, and it took him almost the entire nine months of my pregnancy to find a new one. We were struggling financially, and of course that put a strain on our marriage.”

Ali swallowed the bile rising in her throat. She had never known this. It was bad enough that the image she’d held of her father was shattered and she wondered if she would ever be able to look at him again the same. She didn’t want that to happen with her mother, too. Ali quickly regretted this whole situation. She should have never brought it up and just pretended everything was fine.

“But then he was offered the job he has now. We thought things were finally looking up for us. We were so far behind in everything. We almost lost this house, we lived without luxuries for months. No cable or phones or trips to the movies. Shortly after Jada was born, your father got a promotion. We began to dig ourselves out of debt. It was a great feeling. Unfortunately, he had to work around the clock to make that happen. I rarely saw him. For all intents and purpose, it was like I was a single mother. With your father working all the time, I had no one.”

Her mother sighed and there was a faraway look in her eyes. Ali was still too afraid to speak so she simply sat there and waited for her mother to continue.

“By the time we were able to live comfortably, things had deteriorated so far.” She shook her head. “I was so angry with your father. I felt like he’d abandoned me and Jada. We were constantly fighting about him never being here, about his job, and money. Even though we weren’t struggling anymore, your father just couldn’t seem to let it go and come home and be the father I needed him to be. Or the husband I needed him to be either. He’s been working every moment he can to make sure we never fall like we did before.” She looked over at Ali. “Even to this day, though he’ll never admit it, I think he still has that fear of losing everything. Together, we decided not to ever put ourselves in a position like that again.”

Her mom took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. Ali’s hands felt clammy and sweaty. She wiped them on her jeans and continued to stare at nothing.

“After Jada, we decided we didn’t want any more children, so Paul had a vasectomy.”

Paul. Why would her mom refer to her father by his first name? She’d always just called him Dad.

And then it slowly began to sink in. The entire world tilted on its axis in that moment. Ali felt the color drain from her face and her mouth go slack jawed. “What? So you mean to tell me . . .”

Her mother looked at her and gave a sad nod. “Paul is sterile, Allison. He can’t have children any longer.”

“But—” Ali stood and paced the length of the room. “I was, I mean, I’m younger than Jada. I was conceived and born after her.”

“Like I said, there were a lot of problems in our marriage. We’d lost our way and weren’t connected. I turned elsewhere for the attention Paul—”

“Dad!” Ali shouted. “He’s Dad!”

Ali’s mother ignored her anger and continued. “I turned elsewhere for the attention I wasn’t getting at home. I had an affair, Allison, and as a result, I conceived you.”

“Oh God,” Ali whispered. She flopped down on the bench near the far side of the sun room. Her stomach twisted on itself and she wanted to hurl. “So that means . . .”

“Paul isn’t your biological father.” Her mom walked over and tentatively sat near Ali, reaching out a comforting hand.

Ali jerked away from her touch. This was all too much. She couldn’t process it, couldn’t fathom how any of this was true. “Who is then? What’s his name? Do I know him?”

Her mother abruptly stood. “That really doesn’t matter, Allison.”

“No you’re wrong, Mom. It does matter!” Ali hated it when her mom ignored her.

“When Paul—Dad—found out about my infidelity, he was justifiably angry, but he didn’t turn his back on me like I expected. He stood by my side and did the right thing. You may not have his genetics, but he is your father.”

“So, what? He’s now out cheating on you to even the score?” Ali crossed her arms over her chest and gave in to the tears that were choking her words off. “This is so fucked up.”

“Allison!” her mother scolded.

“No, Mom. Damn it. I just found out my entire life has been a lie and you want me to act like it doesn’t matter? I’m sorry. I can’t do that.” Ali felt the tears flowing freely down her cheeks and she drew a shaky breath.

“Don’t be so dramatic. Your father has always treated you like his own.”

“Bullshit!” Ali laughed bitterly and shook her head. “It all makes sense now. The way he always favored Jada over me, the way he always let her do things that I never could. He may love me like his daughter, but he was a hell of a lot more strict with me than he ever has been with Jada, and don’t you dare try to deny that.” Ali pointed at her mother.

“Fair enough.” She nodded. “He was a little harder on you, but it was always out of love. You have to know that.”

Ali turned her back on her mom and tried to calm herself and gather her thoughts but that was nearly impossible. How could her mother drop this bombshell and expect Ali to just accept it like it was no big deal? It wasn’t fair. And Ali was so angry at her parents for lying to her all these years. They had no right!

“Does Jada know?” Ali asked, turning back around.

Her mother’s eyes widened and filled with fear. “No, and we’d like to keep it that way.” She took several steps toward Ali. “Please, honey, you need to promise me that you won’t ever tell her. You couldn’t ask for a more loving and caring bigger sister.”

Ali shook her head again, her lips trembling and her body numb from anger and sadness and disbelief. “Of course not, Mom, we wouldn’t want anything to ruin Jada’s picture perfect life, would we?”

Ali yanked open the sliding doors, stormed into the living, snatched her purse from the coffee table, and headed for the front door.

“Allison, please,” her mother called, following after her.

Her father opened the door from his study to see what all the commotion was about.

Stopping with her hand on the door knob, Ali turned back to both of her parents. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dream of ruining Jada’s life like you just ruined mine. I’m not that cruel.” Then, without another word or concern for the fact that her mom was now crying, Ali left her parents’ house without ever seeing her father embrace her mother’s trembling body.

Once in her car and on the road, Ali really let the gravity of the situation crash down on her. Her hands shook and her sobs were horrific. But it all hurt so damn bad. She just wanted it to stop, wanted the pain to go away, to forget everything. If only Riley wasn’t a complete asshole she could lose herself in him and escape this awful, awful day.

That wasn’t possible, though. Not when he was doing the same shit her parents were; lying and screwing around with other people. If this afternoon had taught her anything, it was that she couldn’t trust anyone. Not after uncovering all the lies she had over the last twenty-four hours. Everyone was a big fat liar. Telling the truth didn’t seem to matter to anyone in this miserable world. And Ali absolutely refused to be like her mom. She would not allow any man to screw around on her. Ever.

The only option to help her forget was to get shit faced drunk. And the perfect person to help her with that was Hilary. Ali turned her car around and headed back toward her apartment. She needed to unload on Hilary and convince her to go out drinking tonight.

***

“Holy shit, Ali, I don’t even know what to say.” Hilary sat on the couch, a stunned look on her face.

Ali had spent the last half hour telling Hilary all about the afternoon with her mom and the information she’d gotten. By the time she was done, Ali was just downright pissed off. The hurt and sadness she’d felt before were gone, all her tears had dried and were replaced with seething anger.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Ali grumbled. “I don’t even know what to do with this now. Do I just take it for what it is? Or do I demand to know who my birth father is? What if he’s some loser or something?”

“I think you just need to relax for a few days. Don’t do anything rash.”

“You’re probably right. I think what I really need to do is get drunk and forget about everything. My parents and all their lies. And Riley.” Ali frowned. She knew he’d called. But she refused to call him back, especially now. She wouldn’t be played like that.

Hilary grinned. “Yes, we definitely need to go out. There’s nothing that takes your mind off the harsh realities of life better than dancing with an extremely attractive older man, and I know just the place. Who knows where else that could lead.” Hilary raised her eyebrows, daring Ali to challenge her plans.

Ali rose to the occasion. “Uh-uh. No way. Absolutely not!” Ali knew exactly what Hilary was getting at. “Look how that worked out for me last time. I am not doing it again.”

“Well, the problem last time was you let yourself go out with him a second time. That literally defeats the entire purpose of a rebound fuck.” Hilary laughed and playfully nudged Ali. “You need to find a guy, fuck him, and then totally forget him. Just think like a guy. That’s what I do, and look at me.”

Ali rolled her eyes. Maybe Hilary was right. Riley did help her get over Pat. Surely some other guy could help her get over Riley, right?

Think like a guy . . .
it had a nice ring to it, and just the thought of acting like Riley felt so liberating. With a resigned sigh, Ali nodded. “Fine. Let’s go out then. But I’m just dancing, got it?”

Hilary jumped off the couch and squealed with delight. “You won’t regret this. I promise.”

Ali laughed. “If I listen to you I will.”

Riley had broken down and called Ali twice on his way to the studio yesterday. Both times he was sent directly to her voicemail. He didn’t leave a message. What he had to say to her couldn’t be said to a stupid recording. He needed to hear her voice, listen for the inflection of her tone when she responded. Ideally, he’d like to just talk to her face to face, but he couldn’t make that happen if she wouldn’t even answer his calls.

He’d been tempted to drive to her apartment last night, but he was too wound up. Things wouldn’t have gone well, and there was no doubt she would have thought of it as a completely desperate thing to do. He knew all too well, desperation was a complete turn off.