The Geek and His Artist (33 page)

Jimmy’s stomach roiled, and the leftover Chinese he’d had for dinner threatened to come back up. He breathed carefully through his nose until he was sure he wouldn’t vomit all over Simon. “That’s despicable. Horrible. That’s not punishment, Simon.”

“I…. You’re right, it’s not. I’m… it’s still… I just….”

“Shhh.” Jimmy lifted the now-bandaged hands and kissed them each several times: over the Band-Aids, the tips of the fingers, each knuckle. “I’m so sorry, baby. But you never have to go through anything like that again.” He looked up and met Simon’s gaze. “I swear to you. Never.”

Simon’s chin wobbled a tiny bit, and then he firmed it. “Thank you. I…. Thanks.”

Jimmy leaned in and kissed him softly. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jimmy.”

“Good, now lay down. Let me put this stuff over there and change, and we’ll try to get some sleep, okay?”

Simon nodded and wiggled up into his place on the bed. He winced, and Jimmy considered him for a moment. “The orthopedic doc gave you some more painkillers. Do you want one?”

Simon frowned. “I probably shouldn’t.”

“Why?” Jimmy scrunched his eyebrows.

Simon snickered. “You look funny.”

“That’s not an answer.” Jimmy tried not to scowl. Simon’s words sounded forced, and Jimmy didn’t understand.

Simon shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t really know. Uh… okay?”

Jimmy nodded. He was pretty sure he
did
know—Simon was going to punish himself—but he was glad Simon changed his mind. “Better. There’s no reason to hurt, baby. I’ll be right back.” He hurried into the bathroom and grabbed one of the prescription pain pills, then filled a tiny paper cup.

When he came back, Simon looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just taking care of me. I don’t mean to be difficult.”

Jimmy chuckled. “It just comes
so
naturally to you, right?”

Simon stared at him, then snorted. “Right. Thanks.”

Jimmy handed the pill and water over and waited for Simon to take it. He tossed the cup in the garbage, then finally turned off the light. Once his eyes adjusted, he watched Simon settle down, propping his leg up again on the pillows, and—it seemed to Jimmy—
far
on the other side of the bed. He quickly pulled his jeans off and got his boxers on, then went around to his side of the bed.

“I can’t wait to get rid of these pillows. This is going to suck,” Simon grumbled.

“Well, he said only about a month, since it’s not a weight-bearing bone.” Jimmy frowned, trying not to let the distance or the tone of Simon’s voice bother him.

“Yeah, that’s not too bad.” Simon sighed.

Jimmy settled in next to him, a little afraid to touch. He didn’t quite know what to do for Simon. The bathroom, the pills, the tone of voice…. Simon was definitely giving off a “stay back” vibe. Jimmy stretched out on what was now his side of the bed and considered Simon in the dark.

“You didn’t take the hearing aid out, baby,” he whispered, reaching out.

“Shit,” Simon mumbled. He pulled it out before Jimmy could get to it and twisted around to lay it on the table, then turned back and resettled. Jimmy noted Simon didn’t shift any closer, and he tried not to let it hurt. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” Jimmy said. He reached out and brushed a bit of Simon’s hair back. Normally Simon would turn his head into the touch, but he just lay very still, as if he was… enduring it. Jimmy pulled his hand back, ignoring the stab in his heart. “Get some sleep. Good night.”

“Night, Jimmy,” he whispered.

Jimmy watched him for a long time, feeling more than a little helpless. He knew some of that was stuff Simon would have to work through on his own. He knew he couldn’t do everything for the man. But that didn’t make his frustration, fears, or hurt any easier to deal with. He sighed and tried to calm down enough to sleep, but it was a long time in coming.

T
HE
MOANS
leaked into Jimmy’s dreams. He heard Simon’s voice, heard the cries and moans, but couldn’t seem to do anything about it. No matter which way he turned, he couldn’t see his boyfriend, couldn’t see
anything
. White mist, formless and unending, stretched in every direction. The only thing he knew for sure was the solid ground under him.

And that Simon was hurting.

“Simon!” he shouted, taking a tentative step forward.

Simon moaned again, then cried out, “Please!”

Jimmy forgot all about not being able to see and ran toward the sound of Simon’s voice. But it didn’t seem to matter how far he went or which direction. Simon’s voice got no closer, nor any farther away. The same cries followed him, drew him, and yet stayed maddeningly out of reach. “Simon!” he shouted again, his voice full of the fear he tried desperately to battle back. He refused to stop moving, refused to stop looking, terror at the thought of not succeeding spurring him on. He had to find Simon, had to protect him, had to stop the pain he heard in his love’s voice.

Jimmy’s eyes flew open and he stared into the nearly pitch-black of his bedroom. His heart pounded, and he tried to drag himself out of the dream, his breath coming in gasps. The remnants of the dream, his fear, Simon’s cries echoed in his head. He sat up, trying to force himself to take slow, deep breaths and calm down.

That was when he heard the moans next to him. He turned to see Simon on the other side of the bed, a ridiculous amount of space between them.
Space you put there
, his brain reminded him. Jimmy felt the guilt spear through him. He reached out and laid a hand on Simon’s shoulder.

Simon shuddered, and the moans got louder, disjointed words leaking through them. “Please… sorry… no….”

Jimmy didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to put them together.

“Simon, baby,” he murmured, shaking Simon’s shoulder. “Baby, wake up.” But Simon was obviously too deep in the nightmare. He shook his head, hand out to ward off what Jimmy was sure was The Bastard. Jimmy tried again, shaking Simon a little harder. “Simon, baby, it’s Jimmy. Come on, baby, wake up.” He spoke a little louder, still being careful not to be too loud and bring his parents in.

Simon rolled his head back and forth on the pillow. “Please! No, don’t… I’m sorry!”

Jimmy’s heart broke. He leaned down and kissed Simon’s forehead. “Simon, baby, it’s okay. I’m here. Wake up,” he said a little desperately. The last bits of the fear from his own dream still clung to him, and it must have gotten through.

Simon’s eyes opened and he shrank back from Jimmy. “No!”

Jimmy swallowed around the lump in his throat, forcing himself to see Simon wasn’t completely out of the nightmare yet—and the “no” wasn’t for him. “Simon, it’s only me, only Jimmy.” He kept himself back enough to hopefully not scare Simon any more.

Simon blinked, and finally his eyes focused on Jimmy. “J-Jimmy?”

Jimmy smiled. “That’s right, baby. It’s me.”

Simon hesitated for another half-second, then flung himself into Jimmy’s arms. “Oh God, baby.” Simon’s breath shuddered out of him in a sob, and his arms wrapped tightly around Jimmy’s middle.

Jimmy held him as close as he could in the odd position. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmured. “I’ve got you now.”

Silence sat between them for several moments as Simon breathed, struggling out of the dream. Jimmy held him, kissing the top of his head and running both hands over his back as much as possible.

Simon didn’t seem to be able to calm down, and he burrowed into Jimmy a little more, whimpering. “Please,” he murmured, shifting again. “Need you.”

Jimmy raised his eyebrows, doing what he could to bring Simon a little closer. But with the broken leg, he was afraid to move Simon too much. Simon looked up, and in the half-light, Jimmy could see the tears still falling from those deep green eyes. He leaned in and kissed Simon softly.

It seemed to unlock something in Simon because, broken leg or not, he tried to crawl into Jimmy, like he was trying to get inside Jimmy’s being. Jimmy broke the kiss and turned, hauling Simon onto his lap, across his legs. He caught Simon’s lips again as his boyfriend’s arms came around him. That amazing mouth opened to him, tongue touching his lips, and Jimmy moaned, welcoming Simon in, running his own tongue along Simon’s.

Simon ran one hand up over Jimmy’s shoulder to his head, cupped it, and pulled him in. Jimmy had no idea how they could get any closer. He didn’t think a single molecule of air could fit between them.

And Jimmy, despite his best efforts, felt himself reacting to the closeness and the kiss. He didn’t want to, didn’t think Simon would appreciate feeling his cock harden under Simon’s ass. Simon needed comfort, not lust, but Jimmy’s body didn’t seem to be listening to his head.

They broke the kiss, both panting hard in an attempt to chase oxygen. Simon looked up into Jimmy’s eyes, and Jimmy was surprised to see a complete lack of fear. In its place, he found need, want—heat—and the look went straight to Jimmy’s cock.

“Simon,” he whispered, awe tingeing his voice.

“Need you, Jimmy,” he replied. “Need to… feel you. You’re the only one that makes me forget, makes me feel safe. Help me forget now, please….”

Jimmy’s eyes widened, his heart stopping.
Only one
. God, he didn’t feel like he deserved this man after the way he’d behaved earlier. He was sure he’d caused the nightmare—or at least let it happen—with the distance he’d put between them. He’d talk about it later, but right then, all he wanted to do was give Simon what he wanted.

Jimmy laid Simon back onto the bed and moved over him, catching Simon’s lips in another thorough kiss. He tried not to be nervous, reminding himself Simon had no more experience than he did and, conceivably, even less knowledge. Jimmy at least had access to porn.

He pushed the thoughts away and focused on making love to Simon’s mouth. He slid his tongue along Simon’s, thrilling in the moan he got in reaction. Simon kept both hands busy, moving over Jimmy’s back, into his hair, then back to his ass. Jimmy had to work hard to focus on just kissing Simon because his body did
not
want to take things even
remotely
slow.

But he wouldn’t rush this, no matter how much they did or how far they’d go. Simon had simply asked Jimmy to help him forget. He held himself carefully above Simon, not wanting to hurt Simon’s leg.

It seemed that wasn’t enough for Simon, and he pulled at Jimmy’s ass until Jimmy was pushing him into the mattress.

Jimmy’s hard cock met Simon’s, and the groan that escaped was
way
too loud. His hips rolled involuntarily, and it took everything Jimmy had to gather his control. “God, you feel so good,” he whispered, pulling back to kiss his way over Simon’s chin and jaw to the tender spot behind Simon’s ear. He kissed and nibbled at it, bringing more soft sounds from Simon. He focused on that spot so long, Simon bucked up into him.

“Please, Jimmy….” he whispered. “More, God, more….”

Jimmy pulled back and sat up, carefully straddling Simon’s good leg. He eased Simon’s shirt up, kissing a path along the skin as he followed the cotton. He paused at a nipple, kissing it softly, then running his tongue over it, fascinated when it hardened. He took it between his lips and sucked softly. Simon gasped and Jimmy pulled off, grinning up at him. “Like that, do you?”

Simon nodded. “Fuck yes!”

Jimmy turned to the other, sucking and licking on it like he had its twin, savoring the subsequent moan. But Simon wasn’t interested in being tormented quite like that, and he bucked again, tugging at Jimmy.

Jimmy took the hint and leaned up enough to pull Simon’s shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He tossed his in the same place before taking Simon’s lips in another thorough kiss. While he once more did everything he could to make love to Simon with his mouth, he slid a hand over Simon’s chest to cup the bulge in the pajama pants.

His own body reacted to the feel of it, and he broke the kiss, moving to make another trail of kisses, this time the other direction. He made no secret of his destination, but before he could get far, Simon stopped him.

“Baby?”

Jimmy looked up, eyebrows raised. He was having a very difficult time focusing on anything but pleasuring Simon, as turned on as he was. He already had a plan forming, involving his mouth and Simon moaning his name.

But apparently Simon had other ideas.

“What, baby? Is something wrong?”

Simon shook his head quickly. “Oh no. I… I was hoping you’d…. Um….” Even in the dark room, Jimmy could tell Simon’s cheeks were turning red.

“What is it? What do you want?”

Simon swallowed, then, in a voice so soft Jimmy had to strain to hear it, said, “I want to feel you. I… In… Inside me.”

The image that hit Jimmy from those words caused all the blood to flow straight into his groin. He couldn’t say he hadn’t wanted it, hadn’t hoped that Simon would be open to it—they had bought the lube—but he didn’t expect Simon to be interested until after the leg healed. He’d thought about it, even gone so far as to research whether it was even possible with a broken leg—it was—and how it worked. He’d found
plenty
of advice on that.

“Are you sure?”

“If… I mean, if you’re not… if you don’t—” Simon stuttered to a halt, and Jimmy moved back up to kiss him.

“I do. I very much do. I didn’t want to rush
you
,” Jimmy whispered.

“Really?” The look on Simon’s face—an interesting combination of lust and excitement with a slight undercurrent of fear—made Jimmy pause.

“Simon, I want nothing more than to feel you—in
every
possible way. I want to make love to you so thoroughly that you couldn’t possibly question how I feel about you.” He paused to kiss Simon hard. “So, yeah, really. God, I want to be inside you, badly.”

“Then… please….” The words came out part plea, and Jimmy sat back again. This time, he dragged his hand down Simon’s chest—doing his best to ignore the bruises—and stopped at the top of Simon’s pajama pants. He brushed his fingers over the lump, gaze fixed on Simon’s face. Simon rocked his hips, seeking more contact, and Jimmy reached out and slowly peeled Simon’s pants down.