“I have to tell Mother,” she said and he shook his head.
“That should be fun.”
“I don’t care if it is fun, this is happening and she needs to know.”
“You know they have pills for that.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Well when she is born I will not tell her you wanted to kill her.”
“Her huh?”
“Well, I don’t know. Not yet. I have an appointment today to find out and then I am meeting August.”
“Where?”
“The penthouse, he called me and left a message. He wants to meet. I have to call him back.”
She pulled her phone and he stood up.
“I can tell him, I mean I have to go downtown anyway.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I mean you want to talk to your Mom, I am sure that will take fucking forever after she stops breaking shit.”
Zoey laughed. “She will not.”
“But no, really. I can go tell him. What time will you be there?”
“Like 3 hours, tops.”
“Okay, I will get some junk food, I mean that is what you pregnant whores eat right? Junk food?”
“Shut up you dick,” she said as she laughed.
“Well. Good luck with your Mom.”
“Thanks Jami.” She said as he walked up and hugged her. He pulled back and smiled at her.
“No problem. See you in 3 hours.”
“Yeah, I mean I will call if I am running late.”
“Okay cool.” He said as he walked out and shut the door behind him. He turned and saw Molly standing there grinning at him.
“Go,” she said and Jami walked past her down the hall as she stared at her daughter’s door.
****
August stood in the penthouse and stared out across the city. He had left a message for Zoey to meet him here and he smiled as he pulled the ring out of his pocket and stared at it. He was nervous but he knew that asking her to marry him was the right thing to do and perhaps by doing it he would right his wrongs, as many as there seemed to be. He turned as the door opened up and his grin slowly faded as Jami stepped in. He pushed the door closed behind him and smiled at August. August stepped forward and shook his head.
“Where is Zoey?” he said and Jami rubbed his neck and then started to walk towards him.
“August, women are a pain in the ass.”
“What do you mean?”
“You may want to sit down.”
“Why?” he said as he stepped forward.
“She is fine, I mean yeah she is fine August but…”
“But what?”
“She sent me here, she got an abortion, August. I mean she talked to her Mom and she freaked out and it’s done.”
August dropped the ring to the floor as he stared at him in disbelief. He pulled his phone and Jami walked to him quickly taking the phone and shaking his head.
“Not a good idea.”
“Give me the fucking phone,” August said as he started to cry.
“Dude, crying?”
“Shut up, give me the phone.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you, she sent me here August to tell you that it’s not going to work.”
“I need to talk to her!” he screamed as Jami placed the phone in his pocket and held his hands up.
“You need to calm the fuck down.”
“I can’t, I mean…she said…”
“I know, it’s women, August, I fucking told you and we both know she is a crazy bitch, okay…no offense, but she is, she has always been that way.”
“I don’t know what I am supposed to do,” August said as he rubbed his hair with both hands. Jami stepped up to him and touched his face softly. August stopped and stared at him.
“How about you let me help you forget?” Jami whispered as he leaned in and his lips touched Augusts. He made a small noise and stepped back but Jami followed, pushing him against the large glass wall behind him and grabbing his hands. August struggled for a moment longer until Jami’s tongue parted his lips and eagerly searched his mouth. It was a passion August knew all too well and secretly longed to have again.
****
Ryan looked down as his phone went off and sighed.
“Son of a bitch,” he said as he pulled from the girl in the car.
“An hour, huh?” the man said on the other end of the phone.
“I am on my way now, I got sidetracked.”
“Right, listen. I think you need to fucking understand what is happening here.”
“I understand completely.”
“No, I think you misunderstand me. This is going to take more than money.”
“What?”
“Just fucking get here.” The man said as Ryan hung the phone up and stared at it.
“We have to go back to the city.”
“What?” the girl said and he glanced at her.
“Shut the fuck up, pull over,” he said as the driver looked into his rearview mirror. Ryan hit the button and the window lowered.
“Pull over,” he said as the driver stopped the car and the woman stared at him. He tossed her fur at her.
“Get out,” he said as she shook her head. He then looked at the waiter.
“Out, now…FUCK!” he screamed as she opened the door while cursing. The waiter followed him. Ryan took money out and tossed it on the ground.
“There.”
“I am not a fucking dog…” she started to say as he slammed the door shut.
“Winston,” he said and the driver nodded to him as they pulled away and the prostitute picked up the money and tossed it in the road after the car.
“Fuck you!” she yelled out as Ryan pulled a cigarette and muttered to himself.
****
I stood in the shower forever just letting the hot water roll over my skin. If it could be a baptism of sorts I guess this was it. I had never received one as a baby but as I stood here and felt myself releasing Ryan with every breath I took I knew that redemption was possible. I knew that to love and to be loved in return was not out of my reach. I closed my eyes and leaned against the black marble wall as I thought about Mani and his smile, his touch, the way his body moved against my own. Had he truly been sent to save me? Was he the light in the darkness? I smiled as I thought about these things and how silly I would have felt just years prior in being so philosophical. Do not get me wrong, I am educated, probably beyond repair in some aspects of my life. I do not believe in a world beyond this one, in fact I guess if I had to label myself it would be pagan in nature. I believe in pleasure and the flesh. Not in Satan and all of that nonsense, just that we may move on in some form but I doubt we know who we are, we just wander near the things that bind us. I turned and let my back rest against the wall as the water beat down on me and thought about that. I mean if I am able to set Ryan free, I mean truly set him free, then my binding to him will be severed forever and I cannot be sad about it. I would rather be tied to happiness, than to the sorrow. I then reached up and shut the water off and only one thing consumed me, Mani. I stepped out and he stood there, looking as if he was sent to be with me just as I needed him to be. The timing was perfection. He was perfection, which was something I never thought I would find.
He stepped up to me and wrapped me in a towel as I leaned into him. His arms wrapped around me and he just stood there allowing me to need him. It was a strange feeling but I accepted it as best as I could. He placed his one hand on my hair and then moved his fingers as I closed my eyes.
“Ryan is leaving,” I said quietly as he held me very still. His heart beat remained steady, but he did tense up slightly which made me happy. His body said more than his words ever could.
“Are you okay?” he asked me and I stepped back and studied his face.
“I am fine. I mean, I thought I would be upset about it, nothing personal, but Ryan and I…”
“I know, you have been together for a very long time.”
“Yes.” I said as I watched him closely.
He turned and walked to the window and stared out as I felt compelled to walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He placed his hands on mine and stared down at the ring he had given to me. His finger rubbed across it and I smiled.
“Once the divorce is final…” I started to say as he turned and placed his hands on my face, cupping it and making me grin. I reached up and placed my hands on his and he leaned in and kissed me. I melted into him as I had not allowed myself to do before. I mean this was it, I was allowing happiness to creep into the foundation of a home that had always been damaged. If my Mother was alive she would be smiling, I know that she would. His lips left mine as I opened my eyes and stared at him.
“Let’s go out, do something fun.” I said to him as he grinned back at me.
“Fun?”
“I mean something outside of the bedroom.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound too exciting.”
I hit him lightly as he joked with me.
“We can do other things.” I said to him as he smiled down at me.
“Of course we can. Anything you want, Beth,” he said as I stared up at him.
“Anything I want? Well, that is new.”
Chapter Eighteen
Payment Due
Zoey sat still in the doctor’s office as her mother sat in the chair next to hers.
“I still say this could be taken care of right here.”
“I need for you to stop,” Zoey said as the doctor walked in with her file and sat down behind the desk. He looked at Zoey and grinned as her Mother pulled out a cigarette and tapped it on her silver case.
“There is no smoking in here.”
“How nice,” Molly said as she put it away and stared him down.
“Zoey, well I know you want to know what it is.”
“The baby, not it,” she said and Molly rolled her eyes. The doctor tried to ignore it.
“Well, I have the answer right here.”
“Oh goody,” Molly said as Zoey glared at her.
“Great, we want to know,” she said as the doctor opened the file and grinned.
****
Zoey smiled as she sat in the car and touched her stomach, Molly watched her and waited. Molly lit up a cigarette.
“So it is August’s baby, right?” Molly asked her and Zoey looked over at her with disgust.
“Oh I don’t know, it could be anyone’s.”
Molly smiled and took a drag from her cigarette, blowing the smoke out as Zoey pressed the button to the window, it rolled past her and out the window as she felt aggravation for her Mother, it was not a new feeling but with her hormones changing she felt emotional.
“Well, how does he feel?” Molly said as if she could care less.
“Listen, I know you hate them, I get that and I am sorry but August is not Cas, he just isn’t.”
“How do you know that? How do you know that he won’t wake up one day and kill you, kill me? Just go on a fucking rampage and kill anyone who gets in his way.”
“He won’t, he would never.” Zoey said as she looked out the window.
“740 Park,” Zoey said as her Mother watched her closely.
“I am moving out, Mother, I am moving in with August.”
Molly sat there as they headed to 740 Park and did not say a word. Zoey did not know if that was a good thing or bad knowing how she was. They pulled up to the building and Molly reached out and touched Zoey’s arm as she started to exit the car.
“Zoey.” Molly said as Zoey looked at her with little to no love. Molly removed her hand from Zoey’s arm and waved a hand.
“Yes.” Zoey said and Molly said nothing as Zoey stood up and sighed. She turned as she grinned and headed to the penthouse that she hoped would soon be her own.
****
Ryan sat in the back of the car and stared at the run down building for 10 minutes before he finally decided to get out and get this over with. He had idea what his paid assassin wanted but knowing his history it would be best to just go in and pay him, and then to be done with him forever.
Ryan walked to the door and found a buzzer embedded in the side of the building. He pressed it and leaned forward to talk into the intercom.
“Hello?”
He let the buzzer go and heard nothing. He pressed it again and said “Hello” one more time, waiting as he glanced at his Rolex. He then shook his head and started to walk back to the car only to hear a buzzer go off behind him, clicking the door. He looked at his car and the driver and then turned back to the door and walked up to it, he pulled it open as it creaked and fought against him. He grunted as he slid inside and looked up a long staircase with lights flickering overhead.
“Well this looks nice.” He muttered to himself as he started to climb.
He reached the top, being careful to not touch the peeling paint. The whole place smelled like piss. He covered his mouth and reached the door and knocked on it. He waited until it jerked open and the man stood there looking sweaty. Ryan shook his head as the man stepped back and allowed him to come in. Ryan stopped and looked around at everything. It truly looked like decay.
“You fucking live here?” he asked and the man slammed the door closed behind him.
“I feel like I should have cleaned up.”
Ryan glanced at him as he walked to a long metal counter and pulled a bottle of liquor out. He placed two glasses on the table and poured the thick brown addiction into each. Ryan stood his ground but then the man waved him over.
“Have a drink with me.”
Ryan took a step and then decided to get this shit over with. He grabbed the drink and held it up as he stared into the glass.
“So what do you want?” Ryan asked him.
“Oh, well.” The man drank his drink and eyed Ryan’s as he held it in his hand to tightly.
“Drink?” The man said as Ryan decided to kick it back and appease him. He swallowed as the liquid burned his throat.
“I made a mistake.” The man said to him and Ryan lowered his glass.
“What?”
“Well.” He said as he pointed behind him. Ryan saw a large plastic sheet hanging up. It ran from ceiling to floor. He shook his head and looked back to the man.
“I don’t…” Ryan started to say. The man stepped out and walked up to Ryan, he stood there staring at him and Ryan shook his head.
The man hit him in the jaw and Ryan was rocked back. He grabbed his jaw and yelled out as he then spit some blood onto the floor. He stood up and started to laugh.
“You crazy fuck. What?” Ryan asked him and the man walked to him very quickly and grabbed his arm. He jerked him past the plastic and Ryan stumbled and looked back at him until he turned and saw the boy he had seen in the alley. His stomach cut open and everything lying on the floor around him.