“Did you miss me?” he asked as he hopped down and looked around the room. August stepped back and felt a little uncomfortable that he was here in his home, his old room of which belonged to him and to his brother. Jami walked around the room and then hopped into the rocking chair and started to rock as August stepped towards him.
“That is old, it may break.”
Jami tapped his hands on the armchairs and then grinned.
“This? I weigh like 140 pounds, I doubt I can do anything to it. Chill out.” Jami said as he stood up and looked at everything in the room.
“Was this your nursery?” he asked and August watched him as he stepped up to the bookshelf and started to finger his way down the old books.
“Dragons huh?” he said as he pulled the book his Mother read to them most when they were children. He stepped up and took the book from him and closed it, placing it back onto the shelf. Jami raised an eyebrow but did not say anything as August looked different to him and he could feel the tension.
He reached up and touched Augusts face as August stared at Jami’s lips and for a second he wanted to kiss him but he held back and stepped away, walking to the door and closing it so no one could hear them in the room. He turned the lock and then leaned on the door as Jami watched him from the other side of the room.
“What happened?” Jami asked and August walked back to the window and stared out as Jami joined him.
“Zoey is pregnant,” he said as Jami turned to him and said nothing but the look on his face said it all.
“Well, it could be anyone, I mean anyone,” Jami said as he laughed and August turned to him.
“Are you fucking serious?” he said and Jami stopped laughing.
“So serious, she fucks everyone.” Jami said as August continued to stare at him. Jami smiled as he was only playing with him.
“It is serious.”
Jami stepped up to him and touched his hand, August tried to pull it back but Jami held on as he studied his face.
“Hey.”
August looked down and Jami leaned down to make him look at him.
“She can just flush that shit right out,” Jami said and August narrowed his eyes.
“An abortion?” he said and Jami nodded.
August pulled his hand back and stared him down.
“No.”
“Oh my God, you want it?” Jami said and August allowed that to delay his response. Jami laughed and clapped his hands together, pulling them to his mouth and shaking his head.
“What is it with your family exactly? Do you not know that anything can be fixed?” he said and August shook his head and then turned to stare back out the window.
“Listen, if this is some fucked up Karma thing then get over it. I mean I know that your brother lost his shit and fucking psyched the fuck out here and all, but
YOU
did not do that,
YOU
don’t have any debt to pay.”
August turned to him and crossed his arms on his chest.
“Cass did this because of me,” he said and Jami stepped back from him.
“What?”
“Zane. He was with Zane, he loved him and I knew that. In some way I was jealous and I wanted that too.”
“Well fuck,” Jami said as August stared at him and felt the pressure of allowing it out into the open liberate him.
“You know what you need?” Jami said and August shook his head.
“I am not fucking you…” he started to say and Jami laughed.
“You wish, no you need to see my psychic.”
“What?”
“My psychic, she is the shit. Does Tarot card readings, fire readings all that shit. She is amazing.”
August shook his head.
“You need to do this, she will tell you exactly what the fuck is up including whether Zoey has your baby and shit.”
August stared him down as Jami walked up slowly. He reached up and touched his face as August sighed. Jami reached down and found that August was already started to become hard. He grinned and rubbed his hand up and down as August relaxed his arms. Jami started to lower as August watched him and then he let his head fall back as Jami unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out.
“I can tell you your immediate future,” he said as he took the length of his cock to the back of his throat and August moaned and wished that he did not enjoy it as he did but he could not fight it, he never could just as truth cannot be poisoned to death.
Chapter Fourteen
Goodbye Sex
“Interesting,” Molly said as Jami sat in the chair with his leg hanging over the edge of it.
“That’s it?” Jami said and Molly looked at him.
“What?”
“I mean I tell you that Zoey is pregnant and I am fucking August and you say interesting?”
“Oh she can be fixed.”
“From what I understand she doesn’t want a fix.”
“What?” Molly said as she set her drink down and crossed her arms on her chest.
“August said she wants it, I mean he is going to be all honorable and shit,” he said as he waved his hand.
“That is ridiculous.”
“I agree,” Jami said as he watched her walk up to him. She slapped his leg off of the edge of the chair.
“We are not heathens here,” she said to him as he grinned at her.
“Could have fooled me,” he said under his breath as she sighed.
“I need you to make this go away.”
“I don’t know what…”
“You know, fuck him, fuck him like he has never been fucked before.”
“I am trying to, so far I have just…”
“No,” she said as she held her hand up to him.
“I don’t need your details, you just make him leave her, I will handle the rest.”
“Can I ask you why?” Jami said and Molly smiled at him.
“Misery,” she said and Jami shook his head and stared at the floor.
“You are as fucked up as the Bittermends.”
She lowered to her knee and grabbed his face, he struggled for a moment but her grip was tight on him.
“Listen to me, you are being paid to do this for me, not to ask fucking questions.”
“Okay,” Jami said as he looked a bit fearful. Molly could be extremely intimidating.
“You get him in a compromising situation and be sure to get Zoey to walk in on it.”
He hesitated and she screamed at him.
“Jami!”
He looked up at her and nodded.
“I mean, it’s that or back to detention halls. Whatever you prefer.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” he said as he stood up.
“Oh yes, that place robbed itself. The prisons are filled with innocent men!” Molly yelled as he walked out and slammed the door behind him.
****
I sat waiting for him, which was something I never did, ever. Waiting on Ryan was like waiting for nails to grow in a sense. I didn’t care anymore how he came and went. Sometimes it would be for days, but I had messaged him and told him that I needed to see him and it was an emergency so he rushed home from whatever pussy he had his dick buried in to find out what had me so upset. Funny how he pretends to care, or maybe he does care…who fucking knows.
He entered the house and I sat in the living room. I stared at the fire as it burned high in the elaborate fireplace my Father was so proud to add to this home when I was little. I remember the people who came to build it and how little respect my Father had for them. He yelled at them often and my Mother would roll her eyes and leave them all to their business, but I had watched as they carved it right here in the house, with the skill that little possess. They created a masterpiece, this magical place for me. It had two large trees on each side of it with winding branches and I would touch it often as a child and dream that it was a gateway to another place. I stood up and walked to it, placing my fingers to it just as I heard his voice behind me. I turned, allowing my maturity to return to me. Funny how memories can make you feel so free and young again.
“Are you okay Beth?” he asked me, sounding so close to when we were younger and I was foolish to believe it.
“Sit down Ryan,” I said to him as I turned back to the fireplace and stared at it. The fire was rising as my irritation as I thought about Molly Renew and her lies. There was no way Zane and Zoey had been my Fathers, I mean could it be real? I never thought of Molly as a woman who was in in control of her senses, I mean who could think that? She had been ruined so young with that abduction and I could hardly believe she was in her right mind, but if one thing rings true with me it is self-preservation and this is no different.
“I want you to tell me about Molly Renew,” I said to him as he adjusted on the couch and watched me walk back to my Fathers old chair; I sat down feeling more like royalty as I settled into it. This chair was also a source of fun for me as a child as you can imagine I had to be creative with no siblings. I then thought of Zane, dead in this home and of Zoey and my heart fluttered in my chest. Ryan looked nervous and I tilted my head. “Ryan?” I said and he cleared his throat.
“What?”
“Oh my God. Ryan?” I said and he leaned up and interlocked his fingers.
“Beth, listen.”
“Fucking hell, are you serious? Why would you fuck that?” I said and he shook his head at me.
“You are innocent I see?” Ryan said as he waved his hand and I leaned up and held my head in my hands. Here I was just wanting information, anything he may be able to tell me about her stability and instead he is fucking her, just fabulous.
“Unbelievable,” I said as I stood up and started to pace the floor.
“Are you actually upset?” he asked me and I stopped and looked at him.
“Why?” I asked him and he stood up and stared at me.
“You confuse me, I am sick of your fucking bullshit, Beth.”
“Oh! My bullshit? Are you fucking serious?” I asked him as I placed my hand to my chest and stared at him.
“I mean you flaunt your shit all over town, fucking him wherever…even in our old restaurant Beth…I mean are you fucking serious?”
“What is this?” I asked him as I tried to regain my composure.
“This is the truth Beth, feels weird huh?” he asked me and I shook my head at him.
“No, I mean this, us…here. What the fuck is this?” I asked him and he stepped towards me.
“This is who we are, who we will always be.”
“You make me so sad.” I said to him as he looked down and then back up at me.
“Well at least I fucking make you feel something.”
“Ryan.” I said as he stepped closer to me. I looked down as I realized he was right up on me.
“Bethany, there was a time when you loved me more than anything. I know, I remember it.”
“Ryan, that was so long ago, I can’t even…”
He then grabbed me and as I fought him his lips met mine and that old poisonous truth started to flow through my veins. Ryan Blackwood was a man who had always been my equal and for better or for worse he matched me. The sadistic nature of it still dumbfounded me but perhaps it is my fate, perhaps he is the hell I have to be redeemed in before this mortal coil will release me. As my arms relaxed and he felt me fall against him his kiss became less desperate in nature and more of an old memory, one I had felt so long ago when I thought he loved me and would change. I closed my eyes and allowed it to comfort me, pushing back the hatred and hurt he had caused me on countless days and years. He raised his hand and held my face as his lips searched mine, he pulled back and whispered my name as we lowered to the floor, not worried about where we were or who might wander in on us.
His hand slowly slipped up the bottom of my blouse and pulled it out of my black pencil skirt, his fingers rose along my stomach and he even paused before his hand cupped my right breast. His moan matched my own as I allowed him to continue to try to pleasure me. Was it a moment of weakness? Or perhaps a moment of truth we had held back forever. He pulled me up to my feet and then scooped me up like some newlywed and I laughed quietly as he stared at me, completely sober and understanding what he was doing as was I. I could have stopped it at any moment but something in me said no, I cannot tell you if it was want or need. I mean does it really fucking matter as to which? All I knew is that he wanted me and for some reason that was the only fact I needed to know.
He walked up the stairs and then down the hallway, kissing me periodically and trying to see the floor so he did not fall down. He reached his bedroom door and he kicked it open then stepped in, he laid me down on the bed and pushed forward, engulfing me with his own body as if to claim me after so many years of letting me rot away. I reached up and touched his face as one tear rolled from my eye and he watched me with traces of compassion on his face that I did not know he had in him. I then pushed from under him and he sighed as he felt I was pulling from him as I had done before. I then started to unbutton my blouse and I took it off with my back to him, I slipped my skirt off and undid my bra. I turned to him as I dropped my bra to the floor and he sat up to stare at my body. He had not seen me this way in so many years I was sure he would be shocked and by his look he was. I then walked to the door that led to the hallway between us and I opened it up, smiling as I realized he had unlocked it as I had my own so many times before. I stepped in and he followed me as I stopped halfway down and stared at the door that led to my room. I felt his hand on my side as I started to talk to him.
“I came in here so many times, so many, I cannot remember and listened to you as you had other women in your bed Ryan. It broke my heart every single time and now I don’t know how I feel. I am almost numb to everything. I have no idea if I can love you or anyone. Not fully, you took that from me.” I said as I turned to him and saw it, the tears on his face. I could not believe it; I mean to see him crying was not something I ever thought I would experience but here he was, standing in front of me and emotionally stripped of his armor. I touched his face and wiped a tear from his cheek.
“I want a divorce Ryan, I need to set you free, I need to set myself free.”
He nodded to me and leaned in, kissing me as we sank to the floor. His hands were not filled with need or aggression, he was tender as if something had changed him and I crawled on top of him as he leaned against the wall. I slipped his cock up into myself as he quietly moaned. He never said a word to me and I said nothing to him. I simply rotated my hips slowly as he held my face and kissed me so softly it felt foreign. If this was the gift we needed to give to each other then I accepted it. I accept who I am and what he is. I accept that I don’t have to be this, I don’t have to suffer any longer and with that we made love for the first time in our lives, never once causing pain or torment to each other. In fact it was almost as if we had surrendered and allowed ourselves to just be human again.