The Grown-Up's Guide to Running Away from Home, Second Edition: Making a New Life Abroad (5 page)

If you plan to live in a country where English is not the primary language, then make an effort to learn that country’s language, if only enough to be polite and survive on a daily basis. Start studying while still in the planning stages in the United States.

The same is true of a country’s culture. Your knowledge of another country (notice I don’t
say foreign country
; they aren’t the foreignere
when you’re there!) doesn’t stop with knowing the language. Culture is part of the fabric of everyday life. To use an example from France, people say “
Bonjour
” on entering the small shops and “
Au revoir
” on leaving. It’s polite; these are mom-and-pop stores, and often the shops are considered almost an extension of the owners’ homes. An expat who understands this would follow local custom and be more readily welcomed.

A practical matter, but vital, is access to good doctors, dentists, and hospital care. If you don’t speak the local language, you’ll want to choose a facility where the staff speaks English. This will be especially relevant if you have a medical condition that requires monitoring on a regular basis.

In a post-9/11 world, Americans have to wonder where they will be safe. Terrorism has happened even in the States, so that’s not a reason to stay home. That said, review safety and State Department travel warnings to discover whether any areas that you intend to visit present extraordinary dangers. If you live overseas, your neighbors will realize you’re American, but many people separate politics from individuals, especially if the individuals are polite and respect their new country. Don’t brag about your money, and when traveling in strange areas, dress to fit in and avoid broadcasting your nationality.

Being on the go constantly is an independent way of seeing the world. This may be for you if you want to see many areas in short spurts and don’t need to put down roots.

The alternative is to have a home base overseas, which allows you to settle in and become part of the community. You’ll meet the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker—not to mention other expats and the lady next door. You can take language classes, cooking classes, or art lessons.

Consider whether you want to experience an extremely different culture in which you are one of the few Americans. Or would you be happier in an area with several other English-speaking expatriates for companionship?

When you first start out you think you want to see and do everything. But being on the road constantly can be exhausting. Imagine trying to cram four museums into a day. You can’t enjoy them all.

Most people discover, sooner or later, that they want a familiar place to which they can return. It’s a nesting instinct, stronger in some than in others. Only you know how strong this instinct is in yourself. But be prepared. Some people think they want complete and utter freedom, then find that it’s a bit too much of a good thing. Don’t worry if you suddenly want to settle down somewhere.

How in heaven’s name do you know in advance what it’s like on the Greek coast or in an Irish country cottage? You don’t. But careful research will provide enough input to narrow your choices. Then you visit the locations before you move there permanently.

Review your choices and base your final decision on careful consideration of the most important factors. Here are a few ways to uncover the information you need and get an understanding for the destinations you’re considering.

The U.S. Department of State provides information for locations abroad at
www.state.gov/travelandbusiness
. Click on “Background Notes” to check out information on any country in the world with which the United States has political relations. You can get an overview of the land, people, history, government, and economy. You can also click on “Travel Warnings” for lists of countries where dangers may exist. The site offers a host of other interesting information to explore for those going abroad.

Your local library, bookstores, and friends’ bookshelves are the first stop. Gather together all the books you can and read up on the areas you’re considering.

Read a range of materials, some for general overviews of the culture to see how you’d fit in and like it, others for specifics that will help you plan expenses or arrange living accommodations.

Be careful to pick out the most current books. A word of warning: some guidebooks are originally written in England and are often good if you’re planning a hiatus in Europe—because, after all, the Brits are closer to the Continent than Americans and are frequently much more knowledgeable about it. However, by the time these books are purchased by a publisher in the United States and find their way to the stores, they may be several years older than some of the American books. This may not matter if you’re reading for general impressions. But if you’re relying on prices for apartments or transportation, be sure you have the most up-to-date materials.

Check the library and video rental store for travel videos and watch the public TV channels for specials on areas of the world in which you’re interested. You can also explore the culture of your chosen country via popular movies and music from that country.

The World Wide Web lets you connect to virtually any place you want to go on the Internet. The research potential is unlimited.

For the most current information on a specific location, check for city, regional, and tourist board sites online. If you want “hard copy” information, request it from the appropriate tourist board and enclose an International Reply Coupon (found at your local post office), which will provide return postage for your information.

You’ll find some recommended books in the bibliography at the back of this book, which will start you off on the right foot.

You can find individuals to provide information about those locations even before you move there. You say you don’t know anyone in Italy or Greece or any other destination you’re interested in visiting? Various expatriate websites allow you to narrow a search to a country, city, or general location where you want to live. You can also find members of chat rooms and online forums who discuss issues relating to living abroad in general or that area in particular.

For more specifics on how to use the Web to research or keep in touch overseas, see
chapter 17
, “The Internet Advantage.”

Talk to anyone you know about your plans. You’ll pick up tidbits of information in the strangest places. The friend you play bridge with has a cousin whose son just got back from an exchange program in Italy. Your hairdresser’s best friend’s parents are now spending the winter in Mexico. The lady sending a package to France in the Pak ’n’ Mail is actually moving there next month. (The latter situation happened to me—and she was moving just an hour away from us in the Loire Valley, where we later exchanged visits.)

Before you sell the family homestead to set out for parts unknown, know the parts you’re heading toward. Visit the area at least once—or more—before you chuck everything. You may decide that you don’t like that particular location, but you would like to try another area. You may even decide that a vacation was all you really needed or that you just aren’t cut out for living
overseas. You may find out you like American-style showers and driving your car from store to store and central heating. You’ve at least learned something. You may even appreciate that old life you wanted to run away from before.

Have you always wanted to study opera in Italy? Paint in Provence? Your destination is a highly personal decision, but with study and some introspection you’ll arrive at a favorite. You may want to travel to several areas. Our own choice was to rent a house in France as a base for five months in Europe, intending to move to lower-cost Mexico later. Instead, we discovered that we could afford to live in the French countryside, and we bought a small home nearby when that nesting instinct took hold.

American expatriates can be found from Albania to Zimbabwe. The following are a few of the destinations and the number of Americans living there based on the most recent Bureau of Consular Affairs estimate, published in 1999.

These figures do not include U.S. government military or nonmilitary employees or their dependents. Also, many of these figures only represent counts from the consulate in the major cities. Civilians living outside them or even those who live in the cities but have not bothered to report their presence are not reflected in the numbers. The official count is approximately 6.6 million, but the actual numbers of Americans abroad are much higher.

Each country offers its own unique set of characteristics and related benefits, whether it’s sunny weather, delicious cuisine, tropical beaches, scenic mountains, or fascinating culture. Though a complete listing can’t be included, here are some popular destinations.

France
. The world’s top tourist destination is also a prime place to live for those who love good food, culture, and a central location for travel to other areas of Europe. France can be expensive, but—provided you’re willing to find the small village that’s off the tourist track—it can also be affordable. Consider Paris or the Côte d’Azur only if you’ve just won the lottery.