Chapter 22
“I can’t believe you do this all day every day, by yourself,” Nolan commented from where he sat on the couch. Harper was on his lap, facing him. He was staring at her as if she were an alien life form.
“Do what?” I asked, plopping down next to him and reaching for my daughter. She pulled away, content with where she was.
“Take care of her. You never get tired of it?”
I laughed. “I get tired, but not tired
of
taking care of her,” I replied.
“Really? Because it’s okay if you do. I won’t judge you or anything. She’s just so much.”
“She had a good day today,” I pointed out. “She napped pretty much the entire time we were unpacking your stuff.”
“Yeah but you had to carry her with you every time you went up and down the elevator,” he laughed. “You should have just gotten Mason or someone to watch her.”
“Cynthia just went back yesterday. I figured he’d be depressed and I didn’t want to burden him. Besides, I like having Harper around, even when it means added work.”
“Why doesn’t Mason just move back to Delaware with his wife?” Nolan asked, looking confused. “I get that Nora isn’t around to help your dad anymore, but he could always just hire someone.”
“He’s not here for my dad,” I replied. “He’s here for me. I told him he doesn’t need to be but he won’t listen. He thinks Adam is going to break my heart and leave me stranded and he wants to be here when that happens.”
“Do you think it will?” Nolan asked, looking concerned.
“No, but Mason won’t hear my side of the story. I can’t get mad at him, though. He’s been such a help to me all summer with Harper and just everything. I know he means well.”
“You have a lot of faith in Adam, even when he acts like an ass,” Nolan commented.
“He’s the father of my baby. Of course I have to have faith in him. Harper deserves the family I never had.”
“You can have a family without Adam, though. You do realize that, right?”
I frowned. “Yeah, I know I can, but why would I want to? We made it through this much, the pregnancy and now the first six months of Harper’s life.”
“I know, I’m just saying.”
I sighed and stood up, heading into Nolan’s new kitchen and opening the cabinets. No food. The one thing Nolan had forgotten to buy.
“We should probably go grocery shopping later,” I commented. “You have literally nothing.”
“We?” Nolan asked and I could sense his grin without turning around.
“Yeah, we. If I send you into a grocery store alone, who knows what you’ll end up with.”
“Okay, point taken. We’ll go later. I kind of just want to relax right now. It’s been a hectic day.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling. Nolan hadn’t had all that much stuff to move into the apartment surprisingly, but it still seemed like too much of an effort to him. He would have been satisfied with just leaving his clothing in boxes until he needed them but I wasn’t standing for it. We’d gotten everything unpacked and the apartment was already starting to look something like an actual home.
“Can I have my daughter back now?” I asked, walking over to him and stretching my arms out. Harper was still facing him and smacking him on the leg with her stuffed octopus. Nolan didn’t seem to mind.
“Nope, she likes me better now,” he said.
“I doubt that. I’ve been her favorite since day one.”
“You’ve been hogging her since day one,” he corrected. “Adam told me.”
“I have not been hogging her. She just likes me best. The baby, please.”
“Nope,” Nolan shook his head and held Harper closer. “I’m practicing for when you realize Adam isn’t the right guy for you and come crawling to me. I’ll need to make sure my daddy skills are honed.”
“That will never happen,” I said, sitting next to him and smiling at Harper. She noticed me as if for the first time and smiled back, her violet eyes lighting up.
“Never say never,” Nolan warned. “I’ve been told I’m the charming type.”
“No, Adam was the charmer in high school. You were the complacent, quietly sexy type.”
“Wow, you’re right. We’ve completely switched roles,” he laughed. Harper laughed along with him. “Thanks for admitting I’m sexy, by the way.”
“Silly baby,” I said, pulling her from Nolan’s lap and cuddling her. She nuzzled against me and I stuck my tongue out at Nolan, choosing to ignore his attempt at getting me to confess he was sexy.
I glanced over him and realized I’d probably have a hard time lying about it, if it came to that. He was leaner than Adam, but had the perfect surfer’s body; more so than when he’d lived here full-time. Maybe California had been good for him after all.
I turned away from him, feeling the blush creep back. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about anyone, especially not my fiancé’s former best friend and my step sister’s ex-boyfriend. I had enough drama in my life as it was. I didn’t need to go around getting ideas to make it worse.
“Careful,” he warned. “I might get ideas.”
My blush deepened as though he had read my mind. “Oh, stop it.”
“I’ll try,” he agreed, and scooted closer to us, rubbing Harper’s back. “She is pretty great,” he admitted. “I can see why you want to hog her all the time. But still, it has to get stressful, doesn’t it? From what I’ve seen in the past week, you do everything.”
“It is stressful, but when you love someone enough you’re willing to do whatever you have to for them and it kind of stops mattering if you’re exhausted or if you wanted to do something else that particular day.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone that much,” he admitted. “But I’d like to, someday.”
“You will,” I said with a smile. “Even if it doesn’t happen until you have a baby of your own, you’ll love someone that much.”
“What if I’m not capable?” He asked, looking genuinely concerned. “My entire life it’s been all about Nolan. Ever since going to college… it’s been a wakeup call, you know? The world doesn’t actually revolve around me, and it’s been a little off-setting.”
“You’re capable,” I said. “Trust me. When I was pregnant with Harper, the idea of her terrified me more times than not. But now that she’s actually here, I can’t imagine ever not having her. It isn’t ideal, being seventeen with a baby but it’s my life and I’ve accepted it. I guess that’s why I make it look so easy. It’s my life and I’m going with it whether it’s traditional or right or wrong or whatever.”
“You’re braver than me,” Nolan said with a smile. “If Hannah or any of my other… girlfriends had gotten pregnant, I probably would have run in the opposite direction.”
“Well, I couldn’t very well run, considering I would have just brought her with me,” I laughed. I kissed Harper on the top of the head and checked the time, noticing it was already after when I usually put her down for a nap. “I’m going to lay her down in your bed for a little bit, okay? She needs a nap and I’m not leaving until after we’ve gone shopping.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Nolan said and I carried Harper away and into his bedroom.
I was jealous of his bedroom. It was about twice the size of the one Adam and I shared with a king sized bed in the middle, two dressers, and a flat screen TV mounted on the wall. But then again, when you were the only son of a multi-millionaire, even the currently disowned son, you could afford these luxuries. I wondered not for the first time, if Adam and I would ever find our way out of his parent’s guest house but pushed the thought aside. We’d figure it all out, sooner or later. One step at a time.
I changed Harper’s diaper and then put her in the spare pajamas I kept in the diaper bag before laying her in the middle of the bed, a pillow a few inches away from her on each side though I doubted she’d have the strength to completely roll off the bed anyway. I draped her blanket over her, kissed her forehead and left the room before she realized she wasn’t home and started to cry.
“Asleep?” Nolan asked as I reentered the living room. He was standing up now, leaning against the breakfast bar, which was his only dining table. I nodded.
“Yeah, she was getting close anyway. I left before she realized she wasn’t home.”
“Great,” he said. “I’m hungry, so I’m thinking about running down to that diner next door and grabbing something to eat before we go shopping. Want anything?”
I shook my head. We’d skipped lunch but I didn’t feel all that hungry. “I promised Adam we’d have dinner together tonight, since it’s the first night you won’t be there.”
“Celebration, huh?”
I smiled. “Not for me, even though it will be nice having my couch back.”
“I bet,” he said, pretending to give me a hurt look. I just smiled and leaned against the breakfast bar with him.
“You’d better visit me, at least once a week,” he warned. “You’re pretty much the only friend I’ve got here in Haven and I’m not letting you go that easily.”
“That’s not true,” I protested. “You’re Nolan Reeves. You practically ran high school.”
“Yeah, that was high school. When people say the real world is completely different, they aren’t lying. But I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”
“No, I guess not,” I agreed. “It doesn’t get more real than having a baby.”
“I’m serious, though,” he said, reaching for my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I like spending time with you. I don’t want it to stop.”
“It won’t,” I promised, smiling reassuringly at him. “I promise.”
If anyone would have told me last year that Nolan Reeves would end up becoming my best friend, I never would have believed them. But then again, I was starting to realize that was how this life thing works.
Chapter 23
“Rumor has it you’ve been spending a lot of time with a Mr. Nolan Reeves,” Mason commented. It was the following weekend and we were going Christmas shopping for the first time. Harper was with Adam, her first daddy-daughter day in a while.
“Rumor would be correct for once,” I said. “But I assure you, it’s a lot more innocent than what whoever told you that probably made it out to be.”
“It was Adam,” Mason admitted. “He actually called me and asked me if I could tell you to stop.”
“Seriously?”
Mason laughed. “Yeah, seriously. He’s worried about it, thinks Nolan is going to go back to his old ways and make a move on you. I told him I didn’t think Nolan seemed like the type to want to be a stepfather at nineteen, no offense, but Adam wasn’t buying into it.”
“He’s been acting like a jealous maniac ever since Nolan got here,” I admitted. “I don’t know what his problem is. He’s changed so much since Harper was born. Sometimes he seems like he’s getting better, and then… I don’t know, Mason. I think maybe he just needs a longer adjustment period than I did.”
“Maybe you two should go away for a weekend after Christmas,” Mason suggested. “Just the two of you. I can take care of Harper while you’re away.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I’d never be able to leave Harper for a night, let alone a weekend. And besides, since when are you pro Adam and Lainey?”
“You’ve never tried,” he pointed out. “I’m sure it would suck at first but you have to try it sometime. Don’t let your first night apart be her wedding night,” he laughed. “And besides, I’m pro anything that will ensure my niece gets the best life possible and unfortunately, you and Adam staying together is probably the best case scenario.”
“I’m not that bad,” I protested, even though the thought of Harper growing up and getting married did kind of terrify me a little. “I just love my baby. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No there isn’t,” he agreed. “But you need a life of your own, too. And it seems to me that things aren’t as great with Adam as you like to pretend they are, so a weekend away might just do the trip.”
“What about you, Mason? When are you going back to Delaware?”
His face turned serious. “Probably never.”
“What, why?”
“Cyn is applying to jobs down here. If she gets one she’ll be moving into the bed and breakfast with me at the beginning of summer.”
“Are you sure about all this?” I asked doubtfully. “I know you love Haven, but helping Dad with Bella Vista? That seems like a bit much. And what happens if he and Nora make up?”
“Lainey, there’s something I guess I should tell you.”
I stopped in my tracks, sensing that whatever came next probably wasn’t good news. “What?” I asked, dreading the words that would follow.
“Dad got papers the other day. Divorce papers. He already signed them and sent them back.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling light-headed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I didn’t know why this was having such an effect on me. They’d been separated for nearly four months now; divorce was more or less imminent. And even so, I didn’t live there anymore and I hadn’t spoken to Nora since before Harper was born.
“I wanted to wait for the right time, I guess.”
“Does Hannah know?”
He nodded. “Nora is threatening to get lawyers involved if she doesn’t move back to Raleigh with her so Hannah’s been talking to her dad about maybe moving down there sooner rather than later. That’s another reason I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to get you upset.”
“Wow,” I whispered, realizing just how out of touch I’d been with everyone since Nolan arrived. I knew I’d been spending a lot of time with him but I hadn’t realized how much it was affecting time I could have been spending with other people.
“Is she going to?”
“I don’t know,” Mason admitted. “Her dad seems really eager about it but she’s so torn. Either way, she loses.”
“Yeah,” I agreed softly. “Wow. I don’t want Hannah to move away.”
“I don’t think she wants to, either. At least, she doesn’t want to be away from you and Harper. But it might be best for her. You know as well as I do that Dad isn’t exactly great at this whole parenting thing, and legally he has no rights over Hannah. Nora is a witch, so moving back with her isn’t really an option.”
“I know,” I agreed. “She really should move in with her dad, not just for those reasons, either. But it will be so hard to say goodbye to her.”
“Yeah it will,” Mason agreed, smiling sadly at me. “She’s a pretty cool kid. At least, when she’s not flirting with me”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I figured she’d start that sooner or later, especially since the only thing making you step siblings is deteriorating. She’ll stop once she agrees to see Nolan again.”
We’d only spoken a few times since Hannah got back from her last trip to South Carolina and Nolan hadn’t really been a subject we’d broached yet, not since I told her he was back. I was waiting for her to be the one to bring him up.
“I wouldn’t count on that,” Mason said. “We haven’t talked about it much but she’s made it pretty clear she isn’t planning on pursuing that again. She told me in no uncertain terms that sometimes the past is better left in the past.”
“Oh,” I said, disappointed. I’d gotten the impression that maybe Nolan was interested in reconciliation.
“Do you really think it would be a good idea for the two of them to get back together?” Mason asked as we continued our walk throughout the store. “It seems like it ended on a pretty bad note, and didn’t you tell me before you’d never wanted them together in the first place?”
“Nolan’s different now,” I said. “He’s changed a lot. He’s more mature than he was in high school. And I think he really cares about Hannah.”
“I think he really cares about you,” Mason commented, nudging me in the side.
“Of course he does. We’ve gotten close over the past two weeks.”
“I think he cares about you as a bit more than a close friend, Lainey.”
“What is it with you and Adam, thinking a man and a woman can’t ever just be friends?” I demanded. “Nolan and I are getting close because we’re both lonely, that’s all. He got kicked out of his parent’s house because he didn’t want to finish college. I more or less got kicked out because I was pregnant. He still doesn’t understand why his relationship with Hannah didn’t work out and I have no idea what’s going on with Adam. We’re supporting each other through all of this, that’s all.”
“Supporting each other usually leads to a lot more,” Mason pointed out. “I’m just saying, Lainey, be careful. I know you like Nolan a lot and think of him as a good friend, but it’s not like him falling for you is impossible. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty likely.”
“I have a baby,” I pointed out, as if that should settle the entire situation. Mason looked at me with a smile.
“I know Lainey, but having a baby doesn’t mean no one else is ever going to fall in love with you.”
“It should make me pretty unattractive to them, at the very least. Especially Nolan.”
“Oh, you mean the guy who calls himself step-daddy Nolan and hugs Harper before you half the time he stops over? You’re right. There’s no way he’d be interested.” There was no denying the playful sarcasm in his voice.
I made a face at him, but felt myself blush. Mason might have a point. I knew Nolan started all that to mess with me but now it seemed more to mess with Adam, who had made no attempts at reconciling their friendship. But what if Mason were right? The idea of Nolan having feelings for me felt impossible, and yet… not so impossible all at the same time.
I’d been there for him when no one else was. I’d let him sleep on our couch for those few days even though Adam made it clear he didn’t want him there. I’d helped him move into his apartment and had spent at least a few hours a day with him every day since. Mason had seen us together a few times this week alone, so maybe he saw something I couldn’t.
I made a mental note to have Mason drop me off at Nolan’s apartment on the way home. I’d talk to him about it and make sure he knew where we stood. It was probably for nothing, but still. Better safe than sorry.
Mason and I continued our shopping, but our casual chit chat ceased. All I could think about now was Nolan and whether or not it was really possible for him to have developed feelings for me. And if so, what was I going to do about it? I felt completely torn suddenly. Did that mean ending our friendship? What did it mean for me and Adam, especially if I felt the same way?
It hit me, the thought that maybe it wasn’t Nolan with the feelings that shouldn’t exist. Maybe it had been me all along.
The reality of it shook me to my core. Was it possible? Could I have really begun developing feelings for Nolan, Adam’s former best friend? Hannah’s ex-boyfriend, at that?
I didn’t want to think about it anymore because the sinking feeling in my gut told me that maybe, just maybe, it was possible.