The Heart Series: Complete Boxed Set (70 page)

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong when a guy is that well hung shouting about it. Joel is freaking hot, I swear if he wasn’t straight I’d be all over him like a rash.”

“Have you got any pics, Iz?” Jodie asked innocently.

“I have.” Elijah grinned as I scowled at him.

Jodie’s eyes immediately widened. “Wow, this is your

fiancé? Can I say where can I find one? Does he have a brother?”

“Sadly, he is an only child, else I would be all over that.” Elijah sighed.

“Have you got any pics of his…”

“What?” I snapped, really not needing her to finish that sentence.

“A cock shot?” Elijah concluded.

“Yep, I would love to see that bad boy standing to attention.” Jodie licked her lips almost in anticipation.

Elijah pursed his. “Sadly not, Iz is stingy in the department, I have made several attempts trying to make that happen but she won’t.”

“Errr it’s my fiancé, no one sees it but me,” I bit out.

“Purrlease half of Camden has seen it, it’s not like he’s only ever slept with you. I bet he stopped counting once he hit the thousand mark.”

“Elijah,” I barked.

“Whoa, that many, huh? Sounds like he got himself around before he settled down with dear sweet Izzy.”

“Do you mind not discussing it? Thanks. I don’t need to have reminders of the past, but thanks for bringing it up, Elijah.” I gave him an icy glare of disgust.

“What? It’s not like it’s classified information, your fiancé was a man whore, sorry. Now he’s a reformed man whore that loves you with all his heart.”

Jodie sighed. “Damn, I wished I’d tapped that when he was still in his man whore period. I would ride him raw.”

“Right, that’s it!” I leapt up, feeling pissed as hell they would discuss Joel in that way right in front of me. Did they have no boundaries at all?

“Jeez, Izzy, it’s a joke,” Elijah remarked.

“Well, it isn’t to me, this is the man I’m engaged to, that I’ll go onto marry and have kids with. Stop talking about him like that, okay? I don’t need reminders of the past, but thanks for bringing that up, for opening old wounds. You call yourself a friend when for the last ten minutes you’ve talked shit in front of me, made me look like a joke. Fuck the lot of you.” I stormed out, not able to hear another word spoken. I could see the apologetic look Elijah shot me before I flounced off, but it was too late he had gone too far and I was pissed as hell.

I strode off down the road to sit in the park nearby. I had twenty minutes until I had to go back and right now, there was only one voice I wanted to hear.

“Hey Iz.”

I didn’t reply I just sighed, barely able to find the words without crying.

“What’s wrong, Iz? Iz, are you there?”

“Yes,” I finally choked out.

“What’s wrong? Oh god, are you hurt? Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” I could already hear the panic in his voice.

“I’m fine, just a little upset,” I said between sobs.

“Who’s upset you? I swear I will—”

“It was Elijah and Jodie, they both pissed me off,” I finally got out.

“About what?”

“You.”

“Me? What the hell do I have to do with it?” I could hear the anger growing in his voice.

“Elijah was regaling your man whore days and showed Jodie your pic, and she said she would have loved to ride you raw. Of course he had to mention the whole nine inches, and then she wanted to see a pic of your cock, and it was like I was a complete joke. This is my life not some fucking gossip magazine to laugh about.”

“Hey, I know that and you know that, but we can’t change the past. I wish I could go back in time and change it all, but I can’t,” he soothed.

“I’m not asking you to.”

“But I know how much this affects you, and it hurts me that my past behavior is causing you so much pain.”

“I’m just being stupid I should never have bothered you with it.” I had just made the situation worse crying and bringing Joel into it.

“Hey, your problem is my problem, and as I’m the cause of it, I want to know. I want to be there for you, Iz, good and bad. I’ll be there for you for the rest of our lives.”

“Promise?” I asked, hiccupping.

“I promise. You know that from here and now my heart is completely yours. The things I did way back when were because I was hurting so much because of my dad. Well, the drinking and the women, it was all a big escape. I never knew how much I missed out on until that moment you admitted you had feelings, and I allowed myself to finally believe that I could be worthy of you, that I was allowed to be loved. I just got caught up in my own personal hell back then and I’m so sorry that you are the one still paying for it.” I could hear the hurt in his voice. He was blaming himself as usual.

“I’ll be fine, they both got to me, that’s all, but hearing your voice, you make it all better,” I whispered.

“I will have words with Elijah later for upsetting you,” Joel warned, and I felt bad for dropping him in it.

“He was just joking around but then took it too far. I just hate when they discuss you like you’re a piece of meat. I don’t care that you have a nine-inch cock. I love you, I love your heart and everything that comes with it.”

“Wow, but I know for a fact you like my cock,” he teased, making me smile.

“Joel—”

“Baby, you vocally approve every time. I love to make you scream, it turns me on so bad to know I’m pushing you over the edge.”

“Oh, trust me, you do.”

Every single time.

“And when you get home, you will get all nine inches over and over,”

“Joel, I hardly doubt I’ll even be able to move when I get home.” Never mind have non-stop heart pounding sex.

“Oh I’ll be doing all the leg work, trust me. I will put a smile on that face, this day will end with a bang, that’s for sure,” he promised.

“I’m speechless.”  I literally was.

“You won’t be later.”

“Joel.” I giggled, blushing.

“Izzy,” he teased.

“How do you do it? How do you manage to change my mood so easily?” He was a born natural at making me forget my worries.

“Because I know what my girl wants and needs, and I’ll do anything to keep a smile on your face.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m smiling.”

Smiling hard.

“Well then, I’ve done my job.”

“I love you.” I sighed.

“I know and I love you back. We’re going to be happy together, you know. There are still people that like to put us down and think they know us, but they don’t. What we have is real, it’s something no one else can taint because our love is untouchable.”

“Wow, sometimes you blow me away.” His beautiful words stunned me into silence each time.

“I’m glad I still have that affect,” he breathed.

“You do every time, you never cease to amaze me.”

“I’m glad, baby. I’d love to keep on talking but my break is over, and I have to go.” He sighed like he didn’t want to leave just yet.

“That’s okay, I need to get back to rehearsals too.” I was not looking forward to seeing Elijah, as I knew he would be apologising after my little outburst. I was embarrassed enough I just wanted to forget it.

“Are you sure you’re fine? I need to know you are before I go.” Joel asked, hesitant to hang up.

“I am, your pep talk worked a treat.”

“Then I can go back to work a happy man, and I can’t wait for tonight.”

“Me either.” I had shivers just thinking about it.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be the ever professional you are to concentrate on the job in hand, but believe me when we get in that bedroom later, you’re mine.”

“I have to go before I combust.” My body was on fire.

“On that note, bye baby, I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hit the end button and sighed. How did he manage to weave this kind of magic to make me forget all my troubles? He had me bewitched from the start, and he’d continue to do so until I took my final breath.

“Iz.” Elijah approached me from behind as I turned to face him. His eyes scanned mine for any indication to my present mood. I was still annoyed by his actions earlier, he knew how much bringing up the past affected me. That was a real touchy subject, yet he still instigated it, despite the fact he knew it would hurt my feelings.

“Elijah, you really pissed me off.”

“I know, sorry, I just got carried away—”

“But you know how much it hurts me bringing up Joel’s past,” I snapped.

“I just didn’t think.” His eyes dropped down to the floor, looking embarrassed.

“Well, you need to start because I’m tired of the fact you always do it. He’s not some guy I’m randomly dating. He’s the guy I’m going to marry, please respect that, or else I’ll—”

He surged forward grabbing my hands. “I will, I’m sorry. I sometimes don’t engage my brain but I promise I’ll keep a lid on it, and I’ll tell Jodie to drop it too. But I think she knows that you’re not happy.”

“I’m not but Joel made me feel better.” He always did. He was the one I always turned to. He was my rock.

“See this is why he’s perfect for you. Sam is the same for me, they are our soul mates, the people we can’t live without, they are our happily ever afters. We are blessed to have found the one so young, but I know that not one moment will be taken for granted because we both know what it’s like to feel heart break and it’s something that we will treasure for the rest of our days.”

He was certainly right about that.

“Just try to refrain from that subject, you know it hurts me.”

“I’ll try.”

I gave him the look, pursing my lips. He had a selective memory at times and all that seemed to go out the window when he got into his stride, usually entertaining others.

“I will, Iz, I’ll try for you. I don’t mean to upset you, and I’m sorry I went too far today.”

“Fine, apology accepted but keep it zipped about Joel’s nine-inch cock, capisce?” I never wanted the subject to come up again.

“Okay, okay but it really is a shame to keep that kind of information under wraps, if it were me, I’d be shouting it from the rooftop.”

“Well, it’s not you.” I snorted.

“How do you know?” He winked smiling and I shook my head.

“We need to get back to the studio, if we’re late there will be trouble.”

“So am I forgiven?” He gave me the sad puppy dog eyes.

“Keep it zipped and I’ll consider it and don’t even think about making some innuendo about Joel,” I warned. Not in the mood to tolerate any more jokes on Joel’s behalf.

“Fine, but you make it so easy. You know you can’t stay mad at me for long. That’s why we’re best friends, because we accept each other the way we are. We’ll be friends even when we’re old and grey.”

“And I bet you’ll still be discussing Joel’s cock no doubt.” I rolled my eyes just at the thought of it.

“You know me well.” He winked, making me smile.

“Too well.”

“Oh, you love me really, Izzy, I know you do.”

“Hmmm, I suppose I do.”

“Then I’m back in the good books?” he asked looking hopeful.

“For now.”

“Then let’s get back to the studio, this afternoon is going to kick our bums, but we’ll still give it our all. What do you say?” He held out his arm, and I placed mine through the crook of his. Ready to take on what the afternoon had in store.

The day had finally arrived and I was sick with nerves. The college had arranged for media to be there to film the whole thing. They were going all out with the publicity. It was one of the most talked about things in the last week. I closed my eyes going over the steps in my head. I could do this, I just had to forget about the nerves that were creeping over me and let myself get lost in the music. After two weeks of a punishing routine, we were polished and ready to go. I just prayed we all came out of this unscathed, going on YouTube for millions of people to view as well as local camera crews and the BBC, we had to get this perfect or our mistakes would be out there forever. It was just the choreographed dance that was the big deal, we all had to be in sync. It would be obvious if anyone screwed up, whereas with the freestyle we could let ourselves go.

We were in bright and early to get into our outfits, Elijah had gone all out with ours, we certainly stood out in the crowd with the bright lycra clothing, but I guessed that was his point. The whole thing was kicking off at eleven a.m. and by nine a.m. people were already beginning to crowd. Joel had taken the morning off work to come down along with my mother. My dad was waiting for it to hit YouTube to watch the whole thing. News crews were beginning to pull up and set up their cameras, the whole thing was truly terrifying. Elijah had his mum here to support him, and Sam was going to be arriving closer to the time.

I’d barely managed to keep any breakfast down, but I knew in order to get through the strenuous twenty-minute routine, I needed something to keep my energy levels from dropping dramatically. I sat nibbling on a banana in between watching Elijah go through his routine. He had it down but he was making sure it was exactly right. He always was a perfectionist.

Tossing the banana skin in the bin, I heard my text alert go off and knew it would be Joel.

Hey, I’m outside, just want to wish you luck in person xx

I smiled and typed out directions and headed out the door to meet him ’round the back entrance where it was more private.

My smile grew even wider when he walked around the corner. He instantly broke out into a grin when he saw my tight little outfit.

“Fuck Iz, how can I concentrate watching you while you wear that? I am seriously in pain here.”

I didn’t need to ask, I felt it digging into my hip the moment he pressed up tight against me. I laughed into his neck at his ability to get a hard-on at the most inappropriate time.

“Joel, we can’t,” I hissed, when his hands started to wander down to the curve of my bum, giving each cheek a squeeze.

“Why not? I bet you have a cleaning cupboard we can squeeze into,” he cheekily suggested.

“No, we can’t.”

“Spoilsport.” He nuzzled into my neck and sighed. “I can’t wait to see you out there. You are going to look amazing.”

“Thanks, I’m so nervous. I can’t stop shaking.”

“You will be fine. Just forget everyone is there and dance your heart out, that’s all you can do,” he soothed.

“Easier said than done with all these film crews ready to catch your every mistake.”

Oh god, I wanted to be sick.

“You just have to concentrate on the steps, you know what you have to do, so just do that, the rest of the people are insignificant.”

I moved away slightly to look up into his face. “Will you be upfront to watch me?”

He smiled. “Of course, I’ll be your own personal cheerleader spurring you on.”

“Where are your pom poms?” I quipped.

“Ahh, they wouldn’t go with my outfit.” He shrugged shooting me a wink.

“What a shame, I’d have really liked to have seen you shake those. You would have looked so hot.”

He pulled me into him. “I can maybe give you a private performance later. Just me and the pom poms, shaking it off.”

“Now that I’ll definitely look forward to.”

“See I knew that would take your mind off it.”

“Oh it certainly did that.” It was now all I could think about.

“That’s what I wanted to do, leave my girl with a huge smile on her face. Of course, I had other ideas which involved me and you pressed tight up against the wall, but this will just have to do. Now go out there and perform your little heart out. I will be standing proud watching you give it your all.”

“Thank you, I love you.”

“I love you too.” He held me for a moment longer before breaking away, we kissed once more and then he headed back outside. I soon got a text from Elijah telling me to hurry up. They were having a group meeting to discuss the morning’s events. I quickly rushed back feeling far brighter after Joel’s pep talk.

* * *

The first few chords of The Black Eyed Peas’ I Gotta Feeling filled my ears. I took a deep breath patiently waiting for our cue. I completely blanked everything else out, my body just listened to the beat, and the dance moves came so effortlessly. The excitement that flowed through me was electric, the music was loud and exhilarating, giving me chills as I pounded the floor, moving with so much speed I barely had time to process a thought. I hoped I was doing good, that my timing was consistent, but I had timed this over and over again that I knew each beat of the song with such precision.

The song finally came to an end and I panted hard to catch back my breath. Loud whoops and shouts filled the air and Joel’s whistle I would know anywhere. I turned to see him grinning, he shot me a wink, mouthing that he loved me. I could barely get the words out in reply before the next song came on. I had to focus, to concentrate. I could do this, I could get through the next fifteen minutes.

My heart pounded deep, my lungs straining for breath, but I continued regardless. It was heaven and hell all in one but I felt alive, the music was my sole focus as I threw myself into the freestyle dance, giving it my all. This was what I loved, what I yearned for. This was my purpose in life to feel this exhilarated doing what I loved best. When the music came to an end, I stopped, taking in the moment as everyone around us roared with applause. The next moment I was swooped up into Elijah’s arms as he bounced around screaming. “We did it, we did it.”

I couldn’t take it all in. The moment was too much but with each breath I took that brought my lungs to slowly ease off, I knew that this would be a moment I would remember forever.

After showering and getting changed, we headed back into the crowds, Joel and my mother were waiting anxiously for me, and Sam just as eager to pounce on Elijah. I was soon smothered by them both as they whispered how proud they were. My mother started to fill up a little, which shocked me.

“You were amazing, Iz. I just couldn’t believe that was my daughter. How you managed to keep up that tempo, for that long, I will never know.”

“Trust me my lungs almost gave out near the end.”

“You were amazing, baby.” Joel leaned in for a quick kiss. I could tell he wanted to take it deeper, but with my mother barely inches away he had to restrain himself.

“Thanks.” I was hoping that it all looked good once it was uploaded, a part of me was dreading if it wasn’t. I could feel my heart rate pick up at the thought of it.

“You were amazing. Trust me, the video is going to blow everyone away, it will be viral to millions within hours.” Joel smiled reassuringly.

“Oh god don’t, I think I’m going to have a panic attack.” I could feel the nausea coming back just at the thought.

“Breathe, Izzy, seriously you were—”

“Izzy, I just wanted to come over to say how outstanding you were out there. Your freestyle in particular was just beautiful, how effortlessly you flowed each dance style together. Trust me when I say the camera was on you several times and that you certainly turned some heads today.”

My eyes flicked up in surprise. “Oh wow, Mrs Samson, I don’t know what to say.”

“Just enjoy this moment. You were remarkable, and I hope you get something from this, I truly do.” She walked off leaving me with a big smile on my face. She wasn’t one to give compliments so freely, so this was huge.

“See I told you, nothing to worry about.” Joel winked and I laughed pulling him into a kiss, I think I deserved it.

“O-M-G, what time did they say they were uploading it?” Elijah shrieked.

“They said about three p.m. They were editing and tweaking so that takes time,” I said reassuringly.

“But I want to see it now,” he all but snapped. Patience wasn’t a quality of his.

“Seriously how many red bulls has he had?” I asked turning to Sam.

He shrugged and laughed. “Just one but he’s like this without them.”

“I just want to see what it looks like. I hope I got plenty of camera time.” He pouted as we both rolled our eyes.

“Oh I’m sure you will have done, you were awesome out there,” Sam replied, kissing his cheek.

“Only awesome?” Elijah retorted looking pissed.

“Awesome is good.”

“No outstanding is good,” Elijah snorted.

Oh hell.

“You were outstanding then,” Sam added.

“Too late you already said awesome.” He jumped up looking more than annoyed.

“Elijah—”

He waved his hands in the air. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

I placed my hand on Sam’s arm to catch his attention. “Just ignore him, he’s nervous.”

Elijah spun around. “I am here you know, I can hear every word.”

“Elijah, stop being so touchy. I watched you practice earlier you were amazing, you know that, I know that, everybody that watched you knows that.”

He nodded before sitting back down. “Thanks, Iz, I’m just totally nervous.”

“Me too.” The nausea was well and truly back.

“What’s the time?” Elijah asked again much to our annoyance.

“It’s two minutes after you asked the first time. It’s two forty.”

“Oh god, this twenty minutes wait is going to kill me.” He pushed his head into his hands looking like he might combust at any moment.

“Rather dramatic,” Joel whispered.

“Does he do anything else?” I laughed at how serious Elijah was being right now. You could cut the air with the tension, he was normally the bright and bubbly one, but this time something had spooked him.

“I think I might have another red bull,” he suggested, jumping up.

“No way, no more red bulls for you, you’ll be on the ceiling next,” Sam barked, looking like he was on his last nerve.

“If I want a red bull—”

“Trust me you don’t.” For all our sakes, we had to keep him away from the red bull.

He snorted in anger. “Fine, I’m going for a walk.” He flounced out the door before anyone of us could stop him.

“He’s off to the corner shop,” I warned Sam and his eyes widened in alarm.

“I’m on it.” He flew out the door looking ready to rugby tackle him to the ground if need be. There was part of me that wanted to run after and watch, but Joel distracted me from my thoughts.

“Well, now we’re finally alone, I can give you the kiss I wanted to give you earlier, but couldn’t while your mother was stood there.”

“I’m not saying no, what are you waiting for?”

His lips met with mine and I moaned, feeling his tongue slowly entwine with my own, This was the first time today I had started to unwind, for the next twenty minutes all I needed was for Joel to keep my mind off everything else.

Of course he started to get carried away. His arms encircled me in and pulled me in tighter and his fingers began to work their way down to my breast. I pulled away when he tweaked my nipple ever so slightly.

“Let’s keep this PG, you know Elijah and Sam could burst through the door at any moment.” I did not need anyone seeing the floorshow.

“But I really want an 18 rating moment right now, I want to slide into you and take your mind off it even more,” he urged, trying to change my mind.

“Joel, we can’t.”

“Spoilsport.” He pouted, turning me on even more. I was just about to give in and let him take me on the sofa when I heard raised voices.

“I don’t care. You’re not having another one. I’m not going to spend the rest of the day dealing with your hyperactive ways. Have some water instead.”

“Fuck water, I want a Cosmo,” Elijah boomed, storming through the door.

“Elijah, it’s not even three.”

“I don’t care. I need something to take the edge of my nerves.” Oh god, he was going to drive us all crazy.

“We don’t have any of the ingredients,” Sam retorted, looking like a man on the edge.

“I’ll have a coffee then.”

“No more caffeine!” Sam growled.

“I swear will you all get off my back.”

“We aren’t, just sit down and shut up.” Sam steered him back to his seat.

“Sam.” Elijah looked wounded.

“Sorry, but you’re freaking out, and I don’t know what else to do.” He ran his hand through his hair looking clearly agitated.