The Heartwood Box: A Fairy Tale (41 page)

He needed to get through to Derek
.
“For once, Derek!
For once!  Can’t you at least say that you were wrong!  Is that too much for you!  How could you hurt her like that?”

“You know the answer to this
.
She already blames herself
.
Must she endure your blame as well?”  The savagery of Derek’s anger caught Damian up short
.
It was more than anger; it was almost disgust
.
Damian wanted to roar that he blamed Derek, not Genevieve—never Genevieve—but it suddenly occurred to him that for her it might well amount to the same thing.

For the first time he began to wonder what had really happened between the two of them in that cave
.
He realized he knew that this was not a simple case of a man taking advantage of an inexperienced girl
.

He collapsed against a tree, covering his face with his hands
.
How on earth had his life fallen apart so
?
Genevieve had looked so vulnerable, so wretched
.
What if she tried to injure herself
?
He hated himself for feeling even a moment’s jealousy of Donal
.
Pray Titania Donal did everything in his power to comfort her even if she fell in love with him
.

“We quarreled,” he said before he could stop himself
.
“Just before you arrived.”

“You feel guilty about that quarrel!” Derek said indignantly
.
“You were completely in the right!  She’s your wife—she may leave the house when it pleases you to allow it
.
If she were mine, that would be once a year!”

Damian laughed at that
.
What else could he do
?
Was there another man in existence equal to his brother for sheer gall
?
“I’m sure that pleased her.”

“It should have!
 
She was fortunate you only tied her to the bed!”

“Is that why you punished her?” he grated
.

Derek appeared surprised
.
“Of course not
.
She’s not my wife.”

“Well, I’m glad we have that clear!”  Damian snapped out
.
“Since you went ahead and slept with her, I’d wondered if you’d forgotten that fact.” 

Derek had ever refused to acknowledge sarcasm and only glowered in response
.
Damian was forced to pull back from his anger, unwilling to walk away now that they were finally talking
.
“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand the distinction you’re making, Derek,” he said with patently insincere patience.

“You’re her husband—you’ll discipline her as you see fit
.
I would never undermine your authority with her.”  Derek sounded annoyed, as if he were being asked to explain that the sun rises in the east
.

Damian wanted to yell, “You just fucked her instead,” but he forced himself to suppress his rage
.
Derek was incapable of even minor prevarication
.
He meant what he said
.
He would never deliberately undermine what he saw as Damian’s authority as husband.

Damian realized he must try to speak to Derek in an idiom he would understand
.
“I’m glad to hear that, Derek
.
And now as husband, I would like to know why you saw fit to discipline my wife.”  Damian didn’t bother erasing the irony from his tone
.

“Of course,” Derek said with no irony whatsoever
.
For the first time that Damian could recall, Derek looked uncertain
.
“From the moment we met, she has not stopped pushing me
.
She must have sensed how I would react to her defiance
.
I gave her many warnings, but she only pushed harder
.
I do not mean to suggest that she consciously sought to provoke me
.
I know she couldn’t help it
.
But I knew that she wouldn’t stop until I gave her what she sought from me
.
In the end her need was too great—I couldn’t resist it.” 

Genevieve’s needs
.
Damian thought of the heartwood box
.
When he brought out the crop, she’d almost fainted
.
She needed something he couldn’t give her
.
The thought was agonizing
.
Was that why Derek was so angry
?
“You think she would ha
ve been better off with you?”

“What the devil are you thinking?” Derek barked
.

“I don’t know!” Damian almost wailed, wondering how the conversation had ended up going in such a perverse direction
.
“I gave her no choice
.
At the Bridal Picnic, I pushed until I was sure her box had changed and then rushed the marriage before she could back out
.
She understood nothing of what it meant to marry me!  She said as much when we quarreled—she accused me outright of deceiving her.”

Derek spat in disgust
.
“Listen to yourself!  A few angry words spoken during an argument, and you question yourself!  She is the bride of a Black!  You are her husband—her
master
.
You did what you must to secure her to you
.
Had I been in your place, the moment I knew her box had changed, I would have dragged her from the pic
nic and tied her to my horse!”

His brother was completely sincere
.
Damian chuckled humorlessly
.
What would it have done to the poor Mirans if they’d had Derek for a son-in-law
?
“If you’d married her, you would not have shared.” 

“No,” Derek said without a hint of apology
.
“I would honor our traditions in any way I can, but I could never share what is mine.” 

“And yet you expect me to?” 

Derek shrugged
.
“It’s best for our family that she married you and not me.”  There was his brother’s thinking in a nutshell
.
From Derek’s own perspective, his logic was irrefutable.

“So the rules are nothing to you—my rights nothing?” 

“I didn’t say that, but the bride’s needs come before any rule.” 

“And so you must beat her black and blue and then sleep with her?”

“What would you have me say, Damian
?
She craves punishment—I wish now I’d understood the extent her craving went beyond a desire for pain
.
I fear she suffers from some sort of morbid guilt
.
But I don’t think I would have acted differently even if I had known, and once I’d begun, I couldn’t turn away from her without far more grievous cruelty
.
My only regret is that she believed herself guilty of infidelity
.
If there had been time, I would have tried to explain our ways, though I doubt I could have done it in a way she could understand
.
I think Donal can explain i
t better—or if not, Declan.”

Damian could not have believed there was anything Derek could say that would lessen his guilt in this, or that he could even contemplate forgiving his brother without a contrite apology—which was as likely as a demon turning healer
.

But hearing him, Damian found he understood Derek’s perspective and could even accept it, though it irritated him to no end that he must be the one to back down from his anger
.
Derek’s one regret was that Genevieve blamed herself
.
He felt none towards the brother he had injured
.
Somehow things had twisted around so much that if Damian pointed this fact out, the complaint would sound like childish carping
.
One would think Derek was a master of casuistry, when in actual
ity he was the polar opposite.

Arguably he even owed Derek a debt
.
Derek could have thrown it in his face that Damian had allowed anger at his brother to come before Genevieve’s needs
.
Must he credit
Derek
with delicacy now
?
Were pigs flying as well
?
He recalled what Derek said about how he would have “courted” Genevieve at the Bridal Picnic and decided that there would be no shortage of bacon for the foreseeable future
.

So there it was
.
He could accept his brother’s actions in what had been a very fraught situation, but that did not mean that Derek could simply discard centuries of family rules
.
“I am husband,” he said firmly
.
“You and Donal will abide by our traditions, which means that you do not touch my wife or discipline her without my permission
.
Don’t ask me to overlook such a transgression again.” 

“I won’t,” Derek said
.
There was no challenge, no resentment in his tone at all
.

They sat staring at the dying flames as the stars appeared in the sky
.
Suddenly, he heard Derek’s voice from the darkness
.
“I… regret… I am sorry if my actions caused estrangement between you
.
I believe now that I was guilty of jealousy—or perhaps covetousness
.
I did not seek to usurp your place or divide you—I swear it on my honor, Damian
.
But I was caught off guard by how much I desired her
.
At the picnic, I tried to provoke her
.
I thought she would refuse to allow me to share the house
.
I know it was wrong—my duty is to protect her
.
Then she agreed anyway…
.
It was only when she spoke to me afterwards that I realized I’d been guilty of cowardice
.
I’d never before felt disgust in my own actions, but I’d never even imagined a nature like Genevieve’s.” 

Talk about pigs flying: Damian could not have been more astounded if Derek had sprouted wings and lifted off the ground
.
He felt he owed his brother to answer in kind
.
“Genevieve sensed there was jealousy between us—or at least the potential for it
.
Would that I had taken warning and examined myself more closely.”

“Why on earth would you
?
I always took for granted that if either of you found a bride, she would feel nothing but aversion for me
.
The very idea that
you
could be jealous of me was too improbable to believe without proof.”

In anyone else the words would be ironic or accusatory, but Derek was making a simple statement of fact
.
There was no s
elf-pity in his manner at all
.
Until now, Damian had never dreamt that Derek might realize how difficult he was and wish he could be different.

Damian felt something shift within himself, almost like a door opening
.
His brother’s words had made something clear to him: Derek was in love with Genevieve
.
Was it possible that Genevieve loved Derek, his impossible brother
?
He knew his wife—she must
.
She would never have let things go so far if she didn’t.

Though he’d never breathed a word of it to anyone, for the last twenty years, Damian had yearned to somehow create a home where his brothers could be safe and happy
.
He adored Declan, who’d been the best of fathers to them, but of the three, only Damian remembered their mother and could measure what the Reavers had stolen from them
.
But as they’d grown older
, he’d begun to fear for his dream
.
Damian had no idea how much
of
Derek’s off-putting behavior was due to the tragedy and how much was simply his natural temperament
.
Not that it mattered really, but
Damian had
grown increasingly worried that when the time came,
his bride would
refuse to allow Derek to
share the house with them
.
And every surly word or
unsocial action of Derek’s just reinforced that she would be
entirely
justified
.