His mouth was so close to hers that with just a slight tilt of her head their lips would touch. Almost as if he’d read her mind, his hand cupped the back of her neck as his other arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her tight against him.
“I have no idea why ye came back, Patience,” he said hoarsely. “But ye are treading a dark and dangerous path, lass.”
No sooner had he uttered his warning than his mouth captured hers in a demanding kiss. A tremor shot through her as her lips parted beneath his. Every bit the arrogant, commanding Highlander, his tongue swept into her mouth to duel tempestuously with hers. She knew it was folly, but she responded eagerly to his hot caress. The tart taste of gooseberry lingered in his mouth and danced across her tongue as his swirled around hers.
Caught up in the raw, sensual maleness of him, the heat radiating off him engulfed her until her body trembled with need. Hard, steely muscles pressed into her body with a powerful, unyielding strength that tempted and aroused her. She ached to feel his skin against hers until she didn’t know where she ended or he began.
Hot and erotic, his kiss enticed and claimed her until a hedonistic rush of pleasure spiraled through her veins. It sent a pulse streaking downward to the center of her core. The moment it reached the sensitive spot between her legs, a low cry of need rolled out of her throat as her body ached for more than just his kiss. The exquisite need for fulfillment spiraled through her while her heart raced out of control.
She moaned softly as with each stroke of his tongue, she yielded to his silent seduction. The pounding of his heart vibrated against her fingertips as a desire so deep and strong made her blind to everything but his kiss. She forgot all that had brought them to this point and simply gave herself up to the sweet passion of the moment. The low growl rumbling in his chest sent a rush of delight streaking through her. In the next instant, he thrust her from him.
“Get out,” he said coldly.
Heart beating wildly in her breast, Patience stared up at Julian’s stony expression. There wasn’t the slightest trace of emotion on his face, and tears welled in her eyes. Was he truly lost to her? Had she come to Crianlarich Castle for nothing? The back of her hand pressed against her mouth, Patience silenced the cry of pain careening through her. She gulped back her tears and raced out of Julian’s bedroom.
The door closed behind her, she walked the few steps down the hall to the bedroom next to her husband’s. Although Patience had protested, Muireall had insisted that as the Crianlarich’s wife, the bedroom next to Julian’s belonged to her. Wiping the tears off her cheeks, Patience quietly entered her room lit by just one candle.
As she’d instructed, there was no fire in the fireplace. Muireall had objected expressing concern that Patience would be cold. She’d simply shook her head and requested more blankets. In the dim light, she looked around for her trunks. They were tucked away in the corner behind a screen with her things already in the wardrobe and chest of drawers.
Exhausted from her journey and her contentious interaction with Julian, she proceeded to undress. She was certain she would have no problem sleeping through the night. Her nightmares were now fewer and further between, but stressful days like today had a propensity to make her experience unexpected moments of panic.
With a heavy heart she proceeded to undress and pulled her nightgown from the wardrobe. She’d just dropped the silk gown over her head when she heard a crash in Julian’s room. Without thinking, she raced toward the connecting door between their rooms. Patience’s hand touched the cool metal doorknob for a fraction of a second before she jerked it back at the sound of Julian cursing his inability to see what he was doing.
A breath of relief whispered past her lips. He was all right. There was no need to antagonize him any further tonight. And she had no doubt the knowledge that she was sleeping in the room right next to his would definitely anger him. Slowly, she walked back to the bed and sank down onto the mattress.
Patience closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against her lips. She’d been woefully unprepared for Julian’s kiss. He’d been as masterful as always, but when he’d pushed her away, the expression on his face said he’d been completely unmoved by their kiss.
Had it been his way of demonstrating exactly how futile her efforts were in coming to Crianlarich Castle? But if he believed she’d come simply out of pity and her duty as a wife what purpose did kissing her serve? Confusion spread its wings to speed its way through her. Whatever Julian thought, he would not be easily convinced that she’d come to Crianlarich because she still loved him. Patience’s lips tightened with determination, and her cheek protested.
Extremely tired, Patience longed for nothing but to slide under the covers. She considered putting off for just one more day the stretching exercises she was supposed to do daily. But her marred flesh had been tight and itchy all day, and it had intensified over the last few hours. She muttered an unladylike curse for not having done her usual regimen of exercise and emollients for more than a week now. Now, when she was fatigued, she couldn’t put off her exercises any longer.
Harlan would not be happy with her at all. The thought of Dr. Branson made her mouth twist in a small smile. Immediately, the mottled skin on her cheek sent a signal of pain to her head. It was a vivid reminder that she needed to do her exercises. Harlan had been a regular visitor to Melton House ever since the fire. Although he was still her doctor, he’d become a friend as well. Like her family, there was no horror or pity in his eyes when he looked at her. Knowing he’d be disappointed at her lack of discipline, Patience went in search of her cosmetic case. As she did so, she tilted her head to deliberately pull and stretch the taut flesh of her cheek.
She continued to repeat the exercise as she retrieved the special cream Harlan had prepared for her. It was designed to ease, if not eliminate, the need to scratch at her skin for relief. Jar in hand, she sat down at the dressing table and avoided staring at her reflection. It still pained her immensely to see the creature she’d become. Closing her eyes, she applied the emollient to the tight, dry skin of her cheek.
The soft floral scent of lavender, sandalwood, and something Harlan called aloe wafted beneath her nose as she worked the cream into the scarred tissue. Harlan had said the aloe was a natural ointment to alleviate the pain caused by burns. Relief came quickly, and she sighed as the unpleasant tingling began to subside. Patience continued to do the facial exercises Harlan had taught her as she applied the soothing lotion to her forearm and lower leg. When she’d finished working the cream into her skin, she proceeded to move her arm and leg in the stretches that would help keep the skin from retracting.
The exercises brought tears to her eyes, and she angrily berated herself for allowing her packing to prevent her from following Dr. Branson’s orders. She would not forgo them in the future. After a long time the tight discomfort of her scars eased, and she stopped her exertions. The jar lid screwed back into place, she set it on the dressing table. As she did so her gaze settled upon the scarred woman in the mirror.
Although she hated the fact that Julian’s blindness had taken his independence, she was grateful he couldn’t see the horrid thing she’d become. Patience winced at the thought as she rested her elbows on the vanity and cradled her face in her hands. The journey to Crianlarich today had been long and had started out unpleasantly.
Victoria Station had been a discordant mix of train whistles, shouts, and the loud whoosh of steam engines. Everywhere there was chaos and her hand had gripped Percy’s arm as if it were a life preserver. Her brother knew exactly how difficult being in public was for her.
“You’re doing fine, Patience,” her brother said in a soothing voice. “Nothing to it. We’ll get you on the train, and you’ll be in Crianlarich before you know it.”
She didn’t have a chance to respond as a tall, burly man charged past her, his large shoulder knocking her away from Percy. In her effort to remain standing, her hat became caught in another passerby’s jacket, and it was tugged completely off her head, along with the veil that covered her face.
“
Oh, dear God
,” she exclaimed in panic. “Percy…where’s my hat?”
“Here you are, miss,” the cheerful voice of a boy echoed in her ear.
Not thinking she lifted her head to meet the boy’s gaze. Instantly, the child dropped her hat and recoiled from her with a small cry of horror. At his cry, other people turned their heads, and gasps of dismay and pity assaulted her ears.
Percy growled an oath and leapt forward to scoop up her hat. Deftly, his arm about her waist, he shielded her as she fumbled in her efforts to hide her face again. Terror spiraled through her, and she clung to her brother’s tall strength.
“I can’t do this, Percy,” she whispered hoarsely. “Take me back to Melton House.”
“Of course you can do this, sweetheart. You’re a Rockwood. Rockwoods never turn away from a challenge.”
“No, I just can’t,” she said with a small sob as she burrowed her face into his chest. Percy held her tight and quietly soothed her as she fought back tears.
“Patience, you’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known, but even better than that you’re my sister,” he said against her ear as he held her close. “Do you love Julian?”
“Yes,” she rasped.
“Then you don’t have much of a choice except to get on this train, do you?” At his matter-of-fact manner, Patience pulled away from him. She accepted the handkerchief Percy handed her and slipped her hand beneath the veil to dry her tears.
“This is the hardest part of the journey, Patience,” her brother said as he gently guided her along the platform toward the rear of the train. His manner one of solicitous purpose, Percy assisted her onto the train and guided her along the narrow aisle to the private compartment Sebastian had arranged for her.
The conductor was headed toward them as Patience quickly entered the cabin. She heard the low rumble of voices as Percy spoke with the man just outside her accommodations. The compartment was small, but comfortable, and she was grateful her oldest brother had arranged for her privacy. A porter had already placed her luggage in the car along with the hamper Mrs. Stoner had instructed Cook to prepare for Patience’s journey.
Seconds later, Percy joined her and drew the shade. Slowly, Patience removed her hat, grateful to be free of the veil that made her face itch. Percy sat down on the seat opposite her. His gaze reassuring, he smiled at her.
“You did it, Patience,” he said with brotherly pride. “The rest of your trip will be easy.”
She nodded, but remained silent as fear assaulted her. Aware of her trepidation, Percy caught her hands in his and squeezed them.
“There are only three stops between here and Crianlarich. I’ve instructed the conductor to see that you are not disturbed. Simply draw the shades as you’re pulling into each station. The conductor will arrange for a porter to offload your baggage at Crianlarich. Muireall said she’ll send someone to meet you at the train.”
“Thank you, Percy,” she said softly. “For everything.”
“I’m only doing what any brother should do.” Percy shrugged. “Just make sure that husband of yours understands you love him. Although I think you might have your work cut out for you. I don’t think you’ll be received with open arms. He was not happy when he left Melton House the last time, and for a man like Julian, to be struck blind, it will only make things more difficult.”
“I’m certain of that, but I’ll make him understand that I need to be at his side,” she said softly. Percy nodded and stood up. Bending over, he kissed Patience on her scarred cheek.
“Try to enjoy your trip, Patience,” he said quietly and then he was gone.
Enjoy your trip. Percy had been far more optimistic than her. But she had enjoyed the scenery. Though it was by choice, being limited to the garden at Melton House had made her appreciate the countryside she’d seen from the train window. Other than seeing Julian, there was another thing she had been looking forward to about her return to Crianlarich Castle.
Freedom. The freedom to go outside without the fear of meeting friends or strangers. She would even be able to go riding or walking without a hat or veil if she chose. At Crianlarich, the only looks of pity and horror would be from the staff, but that had turned out to be a needless worry.
That much had been true from the moment Drummond had met her at the Crianlarich station. He’d greeted her with the same quiet manner he’d displayed the first time she’d come to the castle. The man had not even flinched at the sight of her. Mrs. Drummond had acted as kind and cheerful as Patience remembered. The housekeeper had made over her like she would a lost lamb. She had no idea if Muireall had informed the staff of her burns, but she was increasingly grateful for their kindness.
Patience lifted her head and turned away from the mirror. She wasn’t sure what had prompted her to provoke Julian into riding in the morning. It would not be easy for him. Perhaps she should have gone alone, but she couldn’t deny she was pleased he was going. It would allow her the chance to begin healing the breach between them. Being at Crianlarich also gave her a chance to heal herself as well.
Her self-imposed seclusion had created a deep-seated need to feel the wind in her face and scent of heather beneath her nose. Unlike Hyde Park, Crianlarich was a safe haven. It would be unusual to meet people when she was riding on the moor, and as the family was in mourning, there would be no parties. It meant there would not be any pitying glances or looks of horror.
A yawn parted her lips, and she stood up and crossed the room to her bed. With a gentle puff of air, she blew out the candle beside her bed, pulled back the bedcovers, and slipped beneath the cold sheets. She shivered as she waited for the sheets to warm up around her. With a small tug, Patience turned on her side and pulled the bedding upward until she was snuggled deep under the blankets.
In the process, her fingers brushed across the skin on her left cheek. Despite the cream, the skin was still rough and rigid, and she shivered at the feel of the scarred flesh against her fingertips. How would Julian have reacted if his mouth had touched her marred skin? She shuddered again, not wanting to know what his response might be. It was something she would be forced to face when she finally convinced him that she’d returned to him because she loved him. With a sigh, her eyes fluttered shut.