Patience struggled with the idea of Fergus MacTavish and Caitriona as lovers. Her thoughts drifted back to the dinner party with the Bensmores. Although she’d been preoccupied with watching Una flirt incessantly with Julian, Patience had a vague memory of Caitriona flirting with the Crianlarich as well. At the time, she’d put Caitriona’s familiar behavior down to the family’s friendship. Now she saw it in an altogether different light.
“Why didn’t your father marry Caitriona if she was carrying his child?”
“She did no’ tell him. She told no one, not even Una. My father suspected Caitriona might be with child when she disappeared, which is why he asked me to search for her. I would no’ have—been in Scotland for so long.” Julian’s jaw shifted with a restrained emotion before his stance became even more rigid and prideful. The pause in his speech made her think he’d been about to express regret about lying to her.
“Why didn’t Una tell anyone why Caitriona had left?” Patience asked quietly as she contemplated Julian’s explanation.
“Una did no’ know until she came at Caitriona’s request, and Una sought my help,” Julian said with injured pride. His dark expression made her think he was remembering her accusations of Una being his mistress. “Caitriona swore me to secrecy and gave me guardianship of the child. She did no’ want her father to know the truth.”
“Then why are you breaking your word to Caitriona and telling me all of this now?”
“I am no’ breaking my word,” Julian snarled like an angry bear as he stared blindly at a point past her head. “No’ if I keep to the letter of my promise, I am no’. Caitriona asked me no’ to tell her father about the boy and to take care of Aiden. She did no’ ask anything else of me.”
Julian stood stiff and rigid like a tall oak. His voice and demeanor illustrated he believed he was stretching the boundaries of his promise to Caitriona. Patience was certain that in her husband’s mind Caitriona had entrusted her secret to him in the belief that Julian would tell no one, not even his wife, of her shame.
“And now, after
all
this time, you’ve suddenly decided to share Caitriona’s secret with me. How benevolent of you.” Patience didn’t bother to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“
Bloody hell
. I’d been up all night, woman, I was no’ thinking straight,” he roared. “I would no’ have kept anything from you that day if I’d no’ been so dead tired.
“Yet you’ve had nine months to realize your vow to Caitriona wasn’t completely binding,” she snapped. “You had nine months to tell me the truth.”
“If you’ll recall you refused to speak with me. You sent me away.”
“With good reason it seems, since you only seem compelled to share this sordid tale now is because you need an explanation as to why you lied and made everyone think I’m Aiden’s mother.”
“
I did no’ lie
,” he growled. His response was a dangerous rumble of anger. “My father is the one who chose to say Aiden was his grandchild. I did no’ discover the truth about what my father had done until after—until I returned to Crianlarich.”
Everything he’d said had the strong ring of truth to it. His voice had echoed with a fervent strength that encouraged her to believe him, yet he’d not asked her to do so. Despite her belief he was speaking the truth, he’d not explained why he’d helped to perpetuate his father’s lies.
“And yet you didn’t refute the lie when you returned home. You continued to let everyone believe your father’s lies.” This time it was impossible to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“Our marriage was over. I had no reason to believe you would ever return to Crianlarich.” Julian’s icy words skated across her skin to sink deep into her pores until she longed for the warmth of a blanket. “I had planned to tell the boy the truth when he was old enough. I thought it best no’ to have the lad branded a bastard simply because my father did no’ marry his lover.”
Over. The word echoed in her head like a death sentence. He’d actually said their marriage was over. A chunk of ice in her breast pumped cold blood through her veins. She’d lost everything. All because she’d refused to believe him—trust him. Patience winced and took a step toward him then immediately stopped.
She was certain he would reject any apology she offered. His demeanor was that of a proud Highlander from the distant past who’d been accused of a crime by a British tyrant. She flinched at the thought. She was no better. She was responsible for setting her marriage on the path to destruction, not Julian. And now she might have lost the chance to win his heart back. She was abruptly startled out of her thoughts as Julian released a low growl of something that bordered on the edge of disgust.
“My father wronged you with his lies, Patience, but I can no’ take them back,” he growled in a rough voice.
“And if I’d not come to Crianlarich, would you have told me what your father had done?”
A long pause followed her soft question as Julian fumbled in his efforts to retrieve the cane resting against the front of his bed. The tense silence of the room was broken by the tap of his stick against the floor as he moved toward her. Julian brushed past her, and despite her anger her senses drank in the warm, spice scent of him. Patience watched as his hand wrapped around the brass doorknob, and he jerked the door open.
“I’ve told you everything, Patience. Now pack your things and get out of my house.”
The low, icy command scraped across her senses like a razor. She stared at his harsh, unyielding features with a feeling of hopelessness. He said their marriage was over, and now he was emphasizing that statement by showing her the door. Patience’s heart sank before her Rockwood blood slid hot and fierce in her veins. Julian might say their marriage was over, but she wasn’t willing to walk away from him until she was certain she couldn’t reach his heart.
“I believe you, Julian.” The cold expression on his face didn’t change as he remained where he was. “Did you hear me, Julian?”
“I heard you,” he said in a cold, heartless voice.
“And you have nothing to say to me?” she asked as her body tensed at his inflexible expression.
“What you think, no longer matters to me, Patience. Now get out and do no’ come back.”
The indifference in his voice made her heart skip a beat. His voice was so detached and unfeeling. It was almost as if he were impervious to her. No, he couldn’t be. If he were, how could he have kissed her so passionately the day she’d arrived at Crianlarich? Then there was the quiet camaraderie they’d had at the falls and the way he’d kissed her in the glade.
No, she’d hurt his pride all those months ago, and after the fire, she’d cast him aside. There had to be a way to reach him. Frantically, she tried to think of something that would help break through the barriers between them. The solution came to her in one delicious breath of anticipation. Seduction.
She would seduce her proud, beautiful Highlander. Intimacy had a way of breaking through every emotional barrier there was. It was the most base of emotions, and she had to believe Julian would reveal his true feelings in the heat of passion. Patience pushed aside her fears as determination bloomed inside her. A Rockwood never went down without a fight, and she refused to be the first one in her family to walk away from a challenge.
Slowly, she approached the door and touched the strong fingers gripping the doorknob. Julian immediately jerked away from her and shuffled two steps backward. As she quietly closed the door, Julian turned away in the belief that she was gone. The soft rustle of her skirts made his back become ramrod straight with what she thought was surprise.
The moment he turned around she realized differently, and she trembled at the fury she saw on his face. She’d taken on a challenge that would have intimidated even Angus Stewart himself. Patience’s mouth went dry as she stepped backward until her back was against the door. She stared at him as he pinned his sightless eyes on her as if he could see her. Gathering her courage, she swallowed hard.
“I have no intention of going anywhere,” she said with unshakable resolve. “I’m still your wife, which makes this
my home
as well.”
“Do no’ make me say or do something I shall regret, Patience.” His voice was dark with an emotion she’d never heard before. It made her think of a wounded animal that had been cornered.
“There’s nothing you can do to me, Julian MacTavish, that hasn’t already been done.”
The dismissive note in her voice made him release a low, primitive sound that sent her heart skidding out of control in trepidation. Perhaps she’d made a mistake in taunting him. As if he could see her without any problem, he closed the small distance between them.
Instinct pushed her spine deeper into the door and away from him as she recognized the predatory nature of his stance. His heat pressing into hers, Julian bent his head until his mouth lightly touched the burnt flesh of her ear. Without thinking, she jerked her head away from his lips, and instantly regretted the move.
Cold amusement crossed his sharp, angular features as his body pinned her to the door. Despite her best intentions, a tremor shook through her at the suppressed violence pulsating off him and into her body. This wasn’t the man she’d married or made love to in the past. This was an untamed warrior Scotsman—a man unwilling to give any quarter. As she stared up at him, her heart skidded out of control. He was magnificent, and she was determined to make him hers again.
“Are you afraid, my lady?” he asked with a biting sarcasm that infuriated her.
“Of you?
Never
,” she said fiercely as she chose to fight fire with fire. Her hand cupped the back of his strong neck and she tugged his head down toward hers to kiss him hard. Julian stiffened against her for a brief moment before his body roughly pressed her deeper into the wood door behind her. It was a display of domination, and a small thrill raced through her. He immediately took control of the kiss, his mouth crushing hers beneath his.
The raw heat of him engulfed her like a hot summer day just before a thunderstorm. Inside her breast, her heart pounded a familiar rhythm of white-hot passion. He’d always had the ability to excite her, but the wild emotion heating her blood now was unlike anything she’d ever experienced between them. It was a wild, primitive throbbing that made her body ache to feel his skin against hers.
His tongue thrust its way into her mouth and tangled with hers in a fiery dance of passion. Mint teased her taste buds as her fingers scrunched up the warm wool of his work kilt to touch a rock hard thigh. A large hand tugged at her bodice and the soft pop of buttons being torn free of her gown echoed in her ears. As his hand roughly yanked her bodice open, she trembled with excitement. It was an undisciplined act that said he was out of control.
A sultry warmth swirled in the pit of her stomach. It spread its way through her veins until her entire body ached with a familiar need. Patience’s fingers brushed across his inner thigh to grasp his thick, hard length. The low growl echoing out of him sent her heart skidding out of control. Her hand tightened and slid upward to the tip of him where she found a small drop of male heat. She smeared it over the top of his erection. He was hard as steel, yet his skin was velvety smooth against the pads of her fingers.
Another note of dark desire rumbled in his chest as he tugged her gown down to her waist. The moment his mouth caressed the top of her breasts she drew in a sharp breath that became a small moan when she exhaled. Need swept through her with the ferocity of a wild wind that threatened to carry her over a cliff of mindless passion. Desperate to feel his skin against hers, she released her hold on him to push his jacket off his broad shoulders.
It fell to the floor, as his hands assisted hers in removing his vest and shirt. The tips of her fingers trailed a slow path across his skin then paused over the beat of his heart. Hard and rapid it pounded a fierce pace beneath his skin. The pulse of it reverberated through her fingertips and into her body. A strong, masculine hand wrapped around the nape of her neck as he forced her head back to capture her mouth with his in a hard kiss. It seared her lips with the sinfully hot taste of his desire.
Without hesitation she surrendered to the silent demand of his lips. As Julian branded her with his mouth, his hands pushed her gown off her hips until it fell to the floor. Every part of her burned with need, and in a quick movement she freed herself from his embrace to circle around him and pressed herself into his back.
A low, dark sound of protest erupted out of him, and she smiled as she pressed one kiss after another against the hard muscles of his back. He was the sharp edge of everything male against her lips. Spice and the soft scent of leather teased her senses as she savored the hot taste of him. She could happily spend the rest of her life caressing his body like this. Love and desire swept through her to heighten the raw passion streaking through her blood.
Her hands glided over his shoulders and moved downward until she reached the buckle of his kilt. Before she could undo the metal clasp, long masculine fingers pushed hers aside. In seconds, he’d made short work of the rest of his clothing until he was completely naked. The moment he turned to face her, she drew in a sharp breath. Had he always been this beautiful or was she simply appreciating him more because she’d not been in his arms for so long?
Julian’s sightless gaze was focused on a point above her head, and she reached out to clasp his hand in hers. She took a step backwards toward the bed, gently pulling him with her. A frown of frustration began to replace the desire darkening his features. Alarmed his affliction might stem the tide of his desire, she quickly stepped forward to pull his head down and kiss him hard. In response to the heated caress, his hands gripped her waist to pull her into his unyielding embrace once more.
The hard, thick length of him pressed against her thigh, and desire coiled in her stomach. It unfurled and spread through her until her body clung to his. The moment she deliberately shifted her hips so his erection was pressed into the apex of her thighs, he released a low growl of desire. Once more she escaped his grasp and pulled him with her the last few steps to the bed.