“You know good and well I had to earn every one of those games,” her brother said with a small smile. From across the room, Sebastian’s wife, Helen, laughed.
“Patience, if you’re able to convince Caleb to play cards, I insist on playing as well. It’s been too long since I’ve enjoyed a good round of Euchre.”
“I’m in as well,” exclaimed Percy, the second oldest of the Rockwood clan. He pressed his fingers to his temple and closed his eyes as if thinking hard. Eyes opening, he grinned. “And I predict I shall win.”
For the first time since leaving London, Patience laughed. Beside her, Caleb chuckled as well. He looked down at her, and the sorrow in his hazel eyes made her heart break. She had a small inkling of what he was feeling. Patience forced a smile to her lips.
“Well, are you going to play or are you afraid I shall beat you,” she asked as she arched her eyebrows. Caleb’s eyes narrowed as he met her gaze then nodded.
“You know bloody well I wouldn’t be a Rockwood if I let that challenge go unanswered,” he said with a quiet resolve and slight smile.
At his agreement to participate, Helen clapped her hands and Louisa went in search of cards, while Caleb pulled away from Patience to pour himself another drink. She knew better than to protest his doing so. The fact that she’d convinced him to play cards was an achievement itself. To push for another change so quickly could easily undo the little she’d already accomplished.
With cards in hand, Helen joined Caleb, Percy, and Patience at the card table. Sebastian and Devin were deeply involved in their game of chess and waved them away. Despite her protests, Louisa convinced Aunt Matilda to join her, Constance, and Lucien at another table. For the next hour, laughter filled the air as everyone merrily taunted one another when a hand or game was won.
Despite his brooding demeanor, Caleb seemed to be enjoying the game. But to Patience’s dismay, he continued to drink more and more wine as the evening wore on. Patience had just taken a trick when Louisa’s butler appeared at her side.
“There is a messenger for you, my lady,” Hughes bent over to discreetly whisper in her ear. “They say it’s urgent. I’ve shown them into his lordship’s study.”
“Thank you,” she said with a nod as she took another trick. Had someone come to tell her Julian had been hurt? Her heart slammed into her chest before she tried to dismiss her fear. She wished she could feel nothing, but she did.
“Are you all right, Patience?” Caleb laid his hand over hers as an odd frown darkened his handsome features.
“I’m fine.” She smiled with a cheerfulness she didn’t feel. “It’s just a message for me.”
“Isn’t it rather late for someone to be delivering messages?” Helen murmured. The worried expression on her sister-in-law’s face made Patience’s heart lurch, but she shook her head. “I’m sure it’s nothing. I’ll be back in a moment. Sebastian, Devin, will one of you take my place until I return?”
Her eldest brother looked up from his chess game with a scowl as Devin announced checkmate with a jubilant cry of victory. With a grimace of self-disgust at his loss, Sebastian grunted his agreement to Patience. As he stood up, he warned Devin a rematch would be expected at a later date as he moved toward Patience’s seat at the table. Her brother bent to kiss his wife’s cheek then straightened to smile at her.
“Are you and Helen winning?”
“Yes,” she said with satisfaction as she arched her eyebrows at Caleb. Percy simply groaned with amused disgust that he and his brother were losing the match. Caleb shook his head.
“Your winning streak is about to end, Patience. We both know Sebastian is not a very good player,” Caleb taunted, his slurred speech indicating he was well on his way to being completely drunk. Sebastian frowned at his youngest brother’s condition, but didn’t say a word, despite his obvious desire to chastise Caleb.
“Then I’ll return as quickly as I can to prevent any real damage.” Patience went up on her toes to kiss Sebastian’s cheek. “Please do your best not to muck up what I’ve achieved, Sebastian.”
“I shall rely on Helen to keep me in line,” he said with an arched look at Patience.
“Something I do every day, my love,” Sebastian’s wife said with a teasing laugh.
Satisfied her winning streak was fairly safe, Patience left the drawing room and hurried to the study. God help her if something had happened to Julian. His betrayal was devastating, but she still loved him no matter what he’d done to cause her pain. The study was softly lit by the blaze in the fireplace, while a small gas lamp spread its light over one of the reading tables. Patience looked around the empty room with a frown of puzzlement. She was certain Hughes had said the messenger was waiting for her in the study. Behind her the soft thud of the door closing made her whirl around in surprise. One hand pressed to her stomach, she froze at the sight of Julian. For a moment, she thought he was a hallucination. Patience blinked as if that would erase the image in front of her. When he didn’t disappear, she drew in a breath of relief. He was all right. Nothing had happened to him.
“Why are you here?” The tremor in her voice angered her. She didn’t want him to know she’d been worried about his safety or how he could still make her heart flutter when they were in the same room together. She drank in the sight of him. He looked tired. Tired and dusty. Dressed in breeches and his riding jacket, it was apparent he’d ridden to Westbrook Farms rather than taking the train. The realization made her think he’d been eager to reach her—unwilling to wait on the train.
“Your sister sent word for me to come.”
“Louisa should not have done that,” she said hoarsely.
“I would have come with or without her invitation.” The resolute note in his words made her heart skip a beat. God, how she wanted to run to him, but the fear of being hurt again held her back. He’d lied to her, and she couldn’t forget that.
“I said I needed time to think, Julian,” she said warily.
“Aye, that you did.” His lips were thinned in a grim line as he nodded. “I’ve had time to think as well, and I think we need to talk about why you’re willing to think the worst of me.”
“Isn’t that obvious,” she snapped.
“I do no’ dispute the fact that I deceived you Patience, but it was with good intentions. I also know the evidence against me is damning. But none of it is true, and I can prove it.”
Startled by his observation, Patience stared at him for a moment before she shook her head.
“I don’t know how you think you could possibly do that.” At her brittle reply Julian eyed her carefully.
“Let us consider the gossip column first,” he said quietly as he clasped his hands behind his back. “Gossip requires a source, and I’ve learned that a woman with red hair supplied the newspaper with the lies they printed in the column.”
“How do you know that?” she scoffed with a disbelieving frown.
“Because I threatened to thrash the man who wrote the article until he told me where the story came from.” The fierce expression on his face made Patience certain Julian had terrified the newspaper reporter into believing he would make good on his threat.
“Even if what you say is true, there’s still the brooch and Una’s visit,” she said scornfully.
“Aye, the brooch,” he said softly. “The estate agent who showed us several houses, said he found the brooch and Una claimed it as hers,” Julian said tersely, his expression dark with a dangerous emotion that unsettled her. If she didn’t know better, she would think him capable of hurting the woman. “Naturally, she did no’ return it to me, but delivered it to you instead.”
Patience stared at him in silence as she contemplated everything he’d told her so far. When she didn’t say anything Julian frowned.
“Do you no’ have something to say?”
“What would you have me say?” she asked with an aching heart. “You’ve explained two things, but you’ve failed to explain why you were house hunting with her or how Una knew about your birthmark, which is the most damming of all the evidence.”
“Christ Jesus, Patience,” he snarled. “I can no’ explain how Una knows about my birthmark, but I have no’ been with her or any woman since we met. Whatever lies Una told you are nothing more than that—they’re lies.”
“The
an dara sealladh
showed me a baby. The woman was holding a child, Julian,” she choked out in a hoarse voice. At the accusation, Julian stiffened, but did not look away from her.
“Tis no’ my child,
mo ghràdh
,” he said firmly, but it was the endearment he used that made her flinch.
“
Don’t call me that
,” she exclaimed fiercely. “I am
not
your love. You don’t know the meaning of the word.”
“And you do no’ know the meaning of trust,” he snarled viciously. Her heart skipped a beat. She’d never heard him speak so harshly to her before. A savage anger hardened Julian’s face, and she was certain dark angels could not have looked more fierce. As she met his furious gaze, bitterness welled up inside her.
“You’re not asking for trust, Julian,” she said through clenched teeth. “You’re asking me to believe
she’s
the liar, not you.”
“She
is
lying,” he ground out with restrained fury
“But she’s not lying about the birthmark,” she said softly, and her words made Julian jerk.
“No,” he said in a flat voice.
“I asked you once before, but you didn’t answer me,” she rasped. “Put yourself in my place and answer me honestly, would you believe me if our positions were reversed?”
“I hope I would choose to believe you,” he said in a voice devoid of emotion.
“But you’re not certain that you would.”
“
No
,” he bit out in a harsh voice and with obvious reluctance.
“I need more time, Julian,” she whispered. “Whether your lies were well-intentioned or not, you still deceived me. You’re asking for blind faith, and that doesn’t come easily to me, any more than it would for you.”
With a shake of her head, she started toward the door. The moment she tried to pass him, his hand snaked outward to wrap around her arm. With a swift tug, he pulled her into his arms. Instantly, her body was on fire, and the air left her lungs as a longing deep inside her wished this nightmare wasn’t happening. The scent of the outdoors flooded her senses as he pulled her tight. He always smelled good. Tonight he smelled of horse, leather, and the crisp night air. She trembled at the way his scent assaulted her senses.
“How many times have I showed you how much I love you?”
His warm silky brogue wrapped its tendrils around her in a way that had always been her undoing. Julian bent his head to brush his lips across her cheek until his teeth grazed her earlobe. The shudder rippling through her had to have told him the effect he was having on her. And it was a potent effect. Her mouth was dry, and she was on the verge of losing herself in him.
“What reason would I have to bed another woman, when the only woman I want is the one I’m holding in my arms?” The softness of his voice mesmerized her. The sincerity in his words made her want to believe him.
“Let me go, Julian,” she whispered. It frightened her how easily he was seducing her into forgiving him. Or was it exactly what she wanted?
The dark growl rumbling in his chest should have warned her, but she wasn’t thinking clearly. As much as she hated to admit it, her body was betraying her as easily as he’d lied to her. A tremor swept through her as his lips grazed across the edge of her jaw downward until his mouth lightly touched hers.
“Answer me,
mo leannan
. Why would I bed another woman, when you’re the only woman I want? The only woman I’ll ever want.”
“Please don’t do this, Julian.”
“Do no’ do what,
mo ghràdh
? Love you? That would be like asking me to stop breathing,” he whispered as his mouth brushed over hers again. His words hypnotized her. Deep inside, she didn’t question his sincerity, only her own inability to believe him.
Sweetly, tenderly, he kissed her. The light touch of his mouth on hers was that of a lover unwilling to do anything that might frighten her. In the back of her mind a voice warned her not to give way, but she did. Just as she always had where his touch was concerned, she melted into him. He murmured something just before his mouth hardened on hers. The moment his tongue slipped into her mouth, she knew she was lost.
As her tongue mated with his, her body hummed a familiar rhythm. Her hands spiked in his silky, dark hair as she pressed her body into his. The warmth of him seeped its way into her until she was aware of nothing else but him. He was all male, and for this particular moment in time, he was hers. The pain in her heart eased at the tender kisses he planted on her face.
He whispered words of love. Words that sank their way into her subconscious and told her to forgive his transgressions. His hands slid across her shoulder in a loving caress as his mouth blazed a path across her cheek then down her neck.
“I love you
mo leannan
. Forgive me. Come home to me.”
Sanity returned to her the moment he asked for her forgiveness. With a hard shove against his chest, Patience broke free of his embrace.
“No, Julian. You cannot seduce me into forgiving you or believing what you say. I need something more than sweet words whispered in my ear,” she said quietly.
“Something more than my
sweet words
?” Julian’s voice was tight with anger. “What is it you really want Patience? Do you expect me to grovel? That I will no’ do. Not even for you
mo leannan
.”
“No, I don’t want that,” she said with a shake of her head. The thought of his pride being stripped from him appalled her.
“Then what do you want?” he bit out as he stared at her with eyes that could have been dark mahogany ingots.
“What I want is to trust you again, and I don’t know how to do that.” Sorrow swept through her. It was as if a part of her was dying, and she didn’t know how to revive it.
“Nor do I, Patience,” he ground out with a viciousness that made her flinch. The heel of her palm pressed to her forehead, she closed her eyes for a moment. When she looked at Julian again, his features were chiseled stone.