The Hysterics (16 page)

“I can’t imagine it was easy, opening up your home to another teenaged boy.”

“It was a challenge, but Dane was always part of the family, even before everything that happened. Leilani too.”

“I kind of got that feeling from how fondly your daughter and Sheila speak about Leilani. It’s really touching.”

“Promise me something?” She looked right into my eyes, her hand on my knee.

“Sure?”

“If you can’t love him completely, then don’t love him at all.”

“I’m sorry?”

“If you can’t love the baggage and scars and messed up bullshit along with his kind heart, then don’t drag his heart through the mud.”

Her words sank in.

Festered.

Burned.

We just sat there in silence staring at each other for a few seconds until Dane walked up with both of our coats in hand. “Ready to head out?”

I blinked a few times before looking up at him. “Ye-Yeah. It was very nice to meet you, Gina. Thank you for having me.” My words sounded rehearsed, almost robotic, but it was the best I could do.

“It was a pleasure, dear.” She hugged me lightly.

Dane led the way into the backyard where we said our goodbyes to the group then headed to his apartment.

My world was flipped around and I couldn’t ground myself. Gina was right; I was scared of commitment and it wasn’t fair to drag Dane into my fucked up life. It was better to not get too attached—it would only hurt more later.

“Dane, we need to talk.”

“Ok.” He slouched onto his couch, patting the seat next to him.

I took it, but didn’t lean into his shoulder like usual.

“Is everything ok?”

I shook my head.

“Fuck.”

His knee started bouncing.

My voice shook. “I just don’t know what to make of all this.”

“What do you mean?”

“This.” I motioned back and forth between us. “It’s all happening so fast, and I don’t do
this.
Like, ever. This isn’t me.”

“Well, who are you then?”

His words were rough; I didn’t know anymore.

I shrugged.

“Fallon.” He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, then continued, “I don’t know what’s happening either. But I know I want it. Do you?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t sure.

“Ok, look. Here’s how I see it.” He shifted off the couch and got on his knees in front of me, making me look into his steel gray eyes while he laced his fingers with mine. “You’re a damaged, erratic, closed-off mess and I love every bit of you for it.”

“You love me?”

It was strange to hear that someone loved me and know they really meant it. I hadn’t felt that since my dad died.

He nodded.

“I love you, too.” The words barely made a sound as they leapt from my throat, like a fleeting wind. I was scared to more than whisper them, afraid they might run away.

We sat wrapped in silence. There are times when more is understood in silence than words can ever say. I wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he. Baggage—fucked up commitment issues, weird identity crises, deep family tragedy—all of it. We were supposed to be together. We were soulmates. Until that moment I had thought that a soulmate was a mythical creature, not something that happened in real life. I was wrong; mine was staring right at me, into me, loving me for who I was deep down.

Chapter nineteen

eavesdropping

DANE

Monday morning came way too soon, especially since another meeting was just finishing and the clock barely read nine. Our latest publication had increased our subscribers by over thirty percent. Payton was, of course, beyond thrilled, and this morning meeting was how he decided to reward us. Once it was over, Fallon waved me over. Her eyes sparkled through her fake glasses. 

“What’s up?” I questioned, getting close enough to smell her perfume.
Fuck.
She smelled good enough to lick, right on the spot, in the middle of this damn boardroom full of nosy journalists.

“I need to see you in my office.” She bit one of her lip rings, trailing her fingertips slowly over my tie. “Now,” she growled.

I nodded. “S-sure.” I swallowed while willing my half chub to cool his jets before I could get safely behind the closed door of Fallon’s office. 

Payton stopped Fallon right as we were about to walk through the door. “Fae? Have a second?”

She nodded. I damned her under my breath for it, but what else was she supposed to do?

“Dane, I’ll be right in. Pull up that article you wanted me to look at.”

I took the hint from the slight wink she gave me and hurried into her office. Sliding into one of the plush red chairs in front of Fallon’s desk, I sighed and waited. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for Fallon to return and shut her office door, concealing us from the rest of our coworkers.

“Is everything ok?”

Fallon nodded as she slowly walked over to me, taking off her jacket and throwing it onto her chair across the desk. “He knows about us.”

The flatness in her voice was troubling. “Isn’t that a bad thing?”

She shook her head. “Payton is on my side.”

“Ok…?”

“We have to make this quick. I have a meeting in a few minutes.”

Fallon crawled into my lap and straddled me, slowly planting small kisses on my neck right below my ear. The worry of the boss knowing or caring about our relationship completely dissipated as I started to unbutton Fallon’s light pink blouse. Hastily, she unclasped my belt and yanked my boxers and pants down. My erection sprang to attention as she hiked her skirt up.

“Wait.” I stopped her as she started to pull up her skirt.

“What?”

“Do you have a condom?”

“I’m on birth control. You are clean, aren’t you?”

I had never been with someone without a condom, ever, but I got checked regularly, so I nodded. Fallon hastily pushed her tiny thong to the side and took in my length. Every nerve in my body buzzed. The sheer pleasure of truly feeling her was incredible.

A low growl escaped the back of my throat as I clasped one hand tightly over Fallon’s mouth and the other reached under the thin lace of her bra to cup her supple breast. She lightly bit down on my palm as she rode my dick faster and faster while the corners of her eyes watered. Her climax built up in the back of her eyes as our lips locked. Her hand ran through my hair, gripping tightly as her pussy tightened around my shaft. I felt her release; her low groans and whimpers quickly sent me over the edge as I thrust into her as hard as I could. My dick throbbed as I released inside of her, my entire body shuddering while a thin layer of sweat formed on my brow.

Fallon started to pant as I released her mouth and her head fell to my chest. I leaned back into the plush chair, eyes fixating on the dark blue quill etched beautifully around Fallon’s collarbone and shoulder.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” I breathed, taking in how amazingly sexy Fallon was: straddling me with her blouse open, exposing her gorgeous boobs propped up in her black lace bra, her hard nipples poking through the thin fabric.

A light tap came from the door.

Fuck
.

We both jumped up.

Fallon hurriedly buttoned her blouse while I finished straightening my tie and fixed my belt.

The doorknob turned a little too early—to say the least. The wide eyes of the last person I wanted to see stared right at me.

“Whitney,” Fallon choked. “You’re a little…early.” Fallon stared at me while I smoothed out the wrinkles in my shirt.

“Early bird gets the worm, right?” There was no mistaking the hiss in her voice.

“Dane, will you excuse us?” Fallon sat behind her desk with pleading eyes.

I wanted to say ‘fuck no’. Instead, I just mumbled, “Sure.”

“I think he’d like to stay for this.” Whitney patted the chair next to hers. I walked around Fallon’s desk and stood behind her, my hand resting on her tensed shoulder.

“What is it?” Fallon’s voice was strained and low as we both stared at the pages clutched in Whitney’s hand.

“Here.” Whitney’s face twisted into a deviously maniacal smile as her eyes narrowed. A satisfied smirk spread across her face as she watched our mouths fall open.

The headline read ‘The Ghost Among Us: Fallon Dunbar’.

Nervously, I busted out laughing. Fallon’s gaze shot up to me, terror running across her face as tears started to well. Whitney shot me a death stare.

“Do you really think you can threaten me like this?” Fallon snarled.

“Yes.” Whitney folded her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side. “I will personally hand this to Payton and destroy you, sweetie.”

Now it was Fallon’s turn to laugh. “Let’s tell Payton ourselves.” Fallon’s voice cooed into the speaker on her desk, “Missy, ask Payton to come to my office, please?”

Payton’s sweet assistant chirped into the line, “Right away, Ms. Dunham.”

Within a few minutes Payton was striding into the small office, wide-eyed as he glanced at each person in the room.

“Fae? You needed me?”

“Yes, sir. Whitney has an interesting little tidbit to share.”

Payton took the seat next to Whitney, angling himself to be able to look directly at her. “Is that so, Ms. Quints?”

Whitney cleared her throat, her hands shaking. “Ya-Yes, sir.”

“Well, out with it. I don’t have all day.”

“You see, the other night I went to Dane’s apartment to ask him to look over an article I wrote.” She paused and my mind screamed
Bullshit!

“A woman ran out of his apartment crying before I could get to the door and said that he was with a young woman by the name of Fallon. It all clicked, sir.” Her gaze was locked on the dark burgundy carpet as we all stared at her, our eyes boring holes in her.

Fallon chimed in, “Yes, that woman would be Dane’s mother, who he had just had a fight with.”

Payton chuckled a few times. “Ms. Quints, I want to advise you to not poke your nose in others’ affairs.”

“Sir?” Whitney was shocked as Payton pointed to her article on the desk.

“You see, everyone in this business has a past. What kind of boss would I be if I allowed rumors to fly from the mouth of a druggie all the way to ruining a valued member of my staff’s reputation? Has Fae been anything but kind to you?”

Whitney shook her head.

“Has Fae demonstrated anything other than a professional attitude while behind these walls?”

She shook her head again.

“Explain.” Payton was starting to lose his patience with her and she knew it.

“They were in here fooling around before my meeting.”

“Do you have proof?”

She just sat there.

“Would it really matter if Fae were to end up being Fallon Dunbar?”

She shook her head.

“Very good then. You may leave, unless Fae has anything else to add?”

Fallon nodded. “Please leave this article. I think it could very well be the best piece you’ve written.”

Whitney smiled sheepishly and hurriedly scurried out the door, tail between her legs.

Once the door was shut, Payton cleared his throat. “Fallon? Are you ok?”

She nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “That was a close one.”

“Are you still sure this is the right choice?”

She nodded slowly. I was still a freaking statue, trying to make sense of all of the bull that had just flown through the office.

“Alright then. Next time the two of you need some alone time, do it when people aren’t snooping around like alley cats.”

“Sorry.”

Payton winked and for the first time since he’d walked into the office, his gaze shifted to mine. “You better take care of her.”

I exhaled, finally relaxing. “I will.”

Paton left us and I fell into the chair he had just vacated. “Payton knew all along?”

Fallon’s face said it all.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It didn’t seem important.”

“I’ve been walking on eggshells trying to watch myself around here and you didn’t think I’d like to know that the only other person that knew about your secret was someone I talked to every day, let alone my boss?”

“Can we just drop this for now?”

I sighed. “Yeah, sure. Do you want to come over tonight before my practice?”

“That sounds really nice.”

Finally, a smile started forming at the corners of Fallon’s pierced lips.

“Good.” I got up, made my way over to Fallon, and grabbed her shoulders. “I love you.” It was a statement that I needed to voice more often even though I didn’t always have the courage.

“I love you, too.” Relief settled into Fallon’s eyes and I went back to work with very little productivity, way too preoccupied by what I was going to do during lunch.

I typed up a text to Maverick.

Me: Are we still on for one?

Maverick: Sure thing, brother.

Me: Perfect, I only have an hour for lunch.

Maverick: No worries, my guy knows we’re coming. It’ll be quick.

Me: Awesome

Maverick: You sure you’re ready?

Me: I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

Maverick: Good enough for me.

FALLON

We didn’t make it more than two steps into Dane’s apartment before we got into the conversation I had been dreading since the episode in my office earlier that day.

Dane and I sat on the couch and he grabbed my shoulders, concern and curiosity swimming in his gaze. “What does it matter, Fallon? Who will it really hurt if you come out and say who you really are?”

“You just don’t fucking get it, do you? Any of it!” I barked. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was over. I was Fae. It was the bed I’d made and I needed to lie in it.

He shook his head, defeated, letting his hands fall from my shoulders. “No,” he muttered, diverting his gaze to my trembling hands.

“It’s me. It will hurt me.”

He stared at me, mouth open, silent.

I took a few short breaths, cleared my throat, and decided to be honest for the first time since this whole Fae Dunham shitstorm had started. I wanted to be honest—not just with Dane, but with myself as well. “I’m scared of the person I became. Fallon is dead and I need her to be. What she was, what she did, what she was capable of—it all died that night in the bathroom of that cheap ass motel. When I woke up in that hospital bed, Sam yelling at me for being a selfish prick and my mom crying so hard it looked like she was convulsing, I knew I needed to make huge changes. I hated Fallon, but I couldn’t live with hating myself anymore. I thought that being Fae would fix it.”

I paused and grabbed Dane’s hands in mine. “It didn’t fix it,” I whispered.

“Then what do we do?”

“Don’t you see?”

He shook his head.

“I’m too far down this rabbit hole to climb out. There’s no saving Fallon and Fae. I have to choose one and be done with the other.”

Dane wrapped me in his arms as his husky voice softly whispered, “I don’t care what your name is, who you pretend to be, or if you come clean. None of that matters. I am in love with who you are behind closed doors, when we’re alone. Deep down, you are the girl of my dreams. I love you. Marry me.”

With that, he pulled a small box out of his pocket, shifted off the couch, and knelt in front of me. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. You won’t have to hide behind a name that you don’t want or one you made up. Take mine. Take me.”

All I could do was nod with tears streaming and mouth a yes as he slipped the beautiful white gold band with a haloed square stone onto my left ring finger.

“I love you.” My shaky voice cracked and I gripped Dane’s shirt, pulling his lips to mine. “Of course I’ll marry you! Yes!”

“I love you, too.”

I glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Dane, you have to get to practice.” He was already supposed to be at Colt’s house.

“Come with me.” He got up from the floor, extending his hand to me.

“Ok.” I got up, staring at the sparkling diamonds glimmering brilliantly on my hand. It didn’t feel real. I didn’t feel like I deserved any of this, but here it was, here he was, and holy crap—it was perfect.