The Incorporated Knight (27 page)

Read The Incorporated Knight Online

Authors: L. Sprague de Camp,Catherine Crook de Camp

Tags: #Fantasy, #General, #Fantastic Fiction, #Fiction

 

             
"A difference of opinion with King Gwennon's minister, the jester-magician Corentin," said Eudoric.

 

             
"Meanst thou this King doth employ his fool as an officer of state?"

 

             
"Aye, sir; I mean just that."

 

             
"A strange conceit. What manner of man is this minister in motley?"

 

             
"From what I have seen, I hold him an able officer, if a low-minded princox and a belike a trifle mad."

 

             
"What of the King?"

 

             
"A doddering dotard, far gone in drink and gluttony and, methinks, not long for this world."

 

             
"Ha!" said the voice. "We are not surprised. Armoria hath had no monarch of truly royal quality since our own reign. Now relate the history of the nations since our demise, above four hundred years agone."

 

             
Eudoric told what he knew of the history of the Empire and its neighboring nations. Yolanda amplified his account of the Franconian past.

 

             
"So!" said the ghost. "Thou art sib to Franconia's reigning monarch, eh? How fare your royal brother and his kingdom?"

 

             
"Well enough," said Yolanda. "We have recovered from the revolt of the Jacks and have had no great wars for a generation."

 

             
"Be this Clothar a man of kinglier qualities than most of the royal ninnies whereof ye twain have told us? We wish the plain, unprettified truth, not the usual flattering panegyric wherewith kings are wont to stupefy their subjects. Speak, Madam!"

 

             
Yolanda hesitated, sighed, and then said: "I have tried to bring up my brother and to infuse him with a sense of royal responsibility, but, wellaway! to little avail. He is neither a monster of cruelty like Gundevec, nor a sot like Evatrix, nor a halfwit like Merovic the Fourth. He is amiable and not unintelligent; but he lives not up to his mind's potential. Poring over treasury statements doth bore him; so off he goes to revel in some light-minded game or sport, leaving the drudgery of's office to Minister Brulard. Hence the insolent rabble call my brother 'Clothar the Frivolous'—not, of course, to his face."

 

             
"A disease whereto monarchs oft are subject," said the voice. "Now tell me of yourselves."

 

             
"Let Eudoric speak," said Yolanda. "He has traveled the most and has had the most adventures."

 

             
Eudoric launched into the tale of his journey to Panthenia in search of two square yards of dragon hide, and of the adventures that befell him there. When the first candle burned down to a stub, Forthred lit a second.

 

             
"Four-wheeled wagons, with seats for wayfarers and canopies to keep off the rain, running hither and yon and bearing any who can pay?" said the ghost in marveling tones. "An ingenious notion; but 'twould never do in Armoria, because of the straitness of the roads. Go on, Sir Eudoric."

 

             
Eudoric suppressed a yawn. "Night has fallen, Your ghostly Majesty—"

 

             
"And ye are fatigued. Well and well, ye are welcome to pass the night in this our small domain," said the voice, "if ye do promise to tell more tales upon the morrow."

 

             
"Gladly," said Eudoric. "If you will excuse us whilst we fetch our blankets from the horses—"

 

             
"Ah, nay!" said the voice. "Thinkest thou that we will suffer you to depart our tomb, leaving poor King Balan with no company except a brace of" spiders? We do assure thee, spiders make dull company. Ye shall remain here till my craving for companionship be sated."

 

             
"How long would that be?" asked Eudoric. "Mayhap a year or two."

 

             
"I beg to differ with Your Ghostliness," said Eudoric, rising, "but we have our own business to attend. So, thanking you for your hospitality—"

 

             
"Ha! Nay, do but essay to depart, and thou shalt see!"

 

             
Yolanda and Forthred had also risen, and now Forthred cried out in astonishment. Turning towards the entranceway, Eudoric saw that the passage had vanished. They were in a completely circular chamber without a visible exit.

 

             
" 'Tis but an illusion," said Yolanda. "Feel along the walls until you come upon the opening."

 

             
"So?" said the voice, adding a ghostly chuckle. The encircling wall, with its mortuary recesses, began to rotate. Faster and faster it went, until the recesses blurred into a pattern of black bars encircling the entire chamber between wider bars of buff-gray stone.

 

             
"Still an illusion," said Yolanda. "Go on, touch it, one of you!"

 

             
Forthred put out a cautious finger to the speeding stony surface.
"Autch!"
he cried, snatching back his hand. " 'Tis real to the touch at any rate."

 

             
Eudoric picked up a leg bone of the half-eaten fowl and tried the wall with it in several places. Each time, the bone met resistance and made a loud scraping sound.

 

             
"The entrance passage should be here," mused Eudoric. "The bone should penetrate this illusory wall with ease; but it does not."

 

             
"Well, my hero," said Yolanda nastily, "what now?

 

             
Sit here telling tales until we starve? Will our crumbling bones be found some day by another foolhardy snooper?"

 

             
"I'm thinking," said Eudoric.

 

             
"What with?" she responded.

 

             
Mustering his self-control, Eudoric ignored the gibe. "Hast no magical counterspell to neutralize our captor's?"

 

             
"Nay. My magical paraphernalia lies packed in the smaller chest, and that is still lashed to your mule."

 

             
"Have you no familiar spirit, such as the jester Corentin commands?"

 

             
"Nay. I had one, which on this plane took the form of a badger. But upon my arrest, Corentin pronounced a spell that manumitted the creature. It vanished, and I've been unable to summon it ever since."

 

             
"Master," said Forthred, "why not tell our ghost about—"

 

             
A quick glare and a shake of the head by Eudoric silenced the apprentice. After a long hiatus, Eudoric spoke: "Very well, Your Majesty, I'll tell of my adventure in Pathenia—"

 

             
"Meseems thou hast already spoke thereof," grumbled the voice.

 

             
"Oh, did I forsooth? Then of a surety I shall recall more details on the second narration. When my old teacher, the retired wizard Baldonius, needed two yards of dragon hide for his alchemcal experiments
...
"

 

             
Eudoric awoke, stiff and sore, in total darkness. The second candle had guttered out. He felt around and located the bodies of his companions. Both moved and muttered at his touch but did not awaken. He found the pack containing their food and drink; but lighting a candle with flint, steel, and tinder in utter blackness baffled him. He raised his voice:

 

             
"Your Majesty!
"

 

             
"
Aye, Sir Eudoric?"

 

             
"Could you, pray, permit us a little light?"

 

             
"If thou regale us with more tales of thy life."

 

             
A faint gray glow, as of an overcast dawn, suffused the chamber, as if early morning light were filtered through an illusory wall of rock, or a pane of heavily clouded glass. Yolanda and Forthred stirred. Eudoric got the third candle going while his squire set out more food. Forthred muttered:

 

             
"Sir, I fear me this beer won't last the day. What shall we then do for drink?"

 

             
"Perhaps King Balan would suffer you to fetch water whilst holding the princess and me hostage," began Eudoric.

 

             
"Never!" boomed the ghostly voice. "An we opened the way for thy servant, ye twain might dash for freedom ere we could reestablish the spell. Thou motest bethink thyself of something better."

 

             
"But, Your Majesty! If you keep us here, we shall die."

 

             
"Then your ghosts shall keep ours company."

 

             
"I am no theologian, and those gentry disagree amongst themselves as to what befalls our spirits after death. But I am sure we shan't be immured here like your royal self."

 

             
"Some day," said the voice, "we will tell thee of the curious curse that caused us to be clapped up here. Meanwhile, how shall we make certain that, if we permit the departure of the one, the others will not likewise show a fair pair of heels, leaving old Balan to his inarticulate spiders? Surely so clever a wight as thou art can devise a solution."

 

             
After a long silence, Eudoric said: "Your Majesty!"

 

             
"Aye?"

 

             
"How were it if one of us securely tied the wrists and ankles of the others? Then he who tied the knots could go out and return without danger of the bound ones' flight. After all, we must go forth betimes or pollute your tomb."

 

             
"We will give thy proposal a trial. What wilt thou use for cord?"

 

             
"Strips cut from the hem of my wife's gown."

 

             
"Indeed?" said Yolanda. "What makes you think, husband—"

 

             
"Enough!" roared Eudoric. "Your dress is nought but a mass of mud at best."

 

             
"Then you shall buy me another as good, once we are back in civilization."

 

             
"Eh?" said the ghost. "What is this about regaining civilization? If yon female imply that Armoria be not civilized, we will hold her imprisoned here forever and ay—"

 

             
"Please, Your Majesty!" said Eudoric hastily. "In the tongue of Franconia, 'civilized' means only one who speaks Franconian, regardless of his learning and manners. My wife meant no slight to Your Majesty's fertile realm."

 

             
Yolanda seemed about to speak again, but a murderous glare from Eudoric stopped her. The ghost said:

 

             
"Humph! That is as may be. Think not to bind one another with bastard knots, which fall apart at a tug! We know somewhat of knots, for in our youth we commanded a ship of our sire's navy. Oh, and one thing more: We heard the lady mention wizardry gear in her chest. Think not to fetch it into our demesne, to cancel our spells!"

 

             
"What would you do if we did?" flared Yolanda.

 

             
The ghost chuckled. "Thinkest thou we'll shoot off every shaft in our quiver in practice, leaving none for the battle? Do but try it, and we warrant on the word of a king that thou shalt not enjoy the results."

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