The Light of the Blue Pearl (18 page)

“Okay,” she said. “And Scott,” she said,
almost in a whisper.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for the waffle maker,” she said,
before finally letting sleep overcome her and take her far away
from the happiness and confusion she found herself in. With her
pearl safely back in the box and sitting on her nightstand only an
arm stretch away, Ethne slept a dreamless sleep.

I
n the morning
Ethne was feeling almost herself again, she must have slept
forever. Stretching, she sat up feeling a little saddened that
Scott wasn’t lying next to her.

It was almost eleven o’clock; she
had
slept forever.

She could almost kick Scott for letting her
sleep so late. But after remembering their conversation from the
day before, she figured he had probably already been kicked
enough.

The house was pretty quiet, which for some
reason concerned her. She tried to recall how much she had actually
told him, but was having a difficult time with all of the
details.

She did vaguely remember him saying he loved
her, and she saying the same, so he wouldn’t have left, would
he?

Grabbing her favorite shirt she put it on
and went searching for him; there were no earthquakes going on in
her kitchen that day.

The living room and kitchen were empty;
there was no sign of Scott and no breakfast waiting for her. She
duly noted the disappointing feeling of that, and it scared her a
little.

“It was far too early for him to leave for
work, where could he be?” she thought, before collapsing on her
couch feeling slightly annoyed that the day was starting out this
way.

She could think of a million other ways it
could have started. After telling someone you love them this was
not one of the ways.

Finding herself staring at her ceiling again
she started thinking about her pearl and her new found awareness of
the blue light. She was suddenly curious as to what it could mean,
if perhaps other people saw and felt such things during a
seizure.

Getting off the couch she went back to her
room to do a little research, hoping in the back of her mind that
Scott would come back soon.

While she waited for her slow computer to
wake up she took the pearl out of the box and stared at it. She
couldn’t believe how good it felt to have it back. It was like a
piece of her had been missing after she had lost it, as stupid as
that sounded.

As she went looking for information about
the mysterious light that she recalled seeing after her seizure,
she found that indeed she was not alone.

The information she found was quite shocking
really, and it kept her reading other people’s accounts for at
least an hour.

While no stories she read mentioned anything
about seizures and seeing the light, plenty of others had seen what
they referred to as the Blue Pearl. Even though it did have other
names, that particular name made the hairs on the back of her neck
stand up – considering the peculiar find that was now in her hand,
as well as the fact that the Blue Pearl was defined as the physical
manifestation of the soul.

The information she had uncovered, in her
mind, was basically saying that she was seeing her soul, or perhaps
the soul of another. Considering how she felt about death that
little bit of knowledge freaked her out.

One of the references even stated that death
was just the name that was given to the departure of the Blue Pearl
from the body.

Knowing this now, she wondered why she had
felt comforted by the Blue Hole and even with this pearl in her
hand. If when she saw the light it may have meant for a time her
soul had left her body…that she had died…why would she feel comfort
in seeing the light?

She supposed that could be because she was
seeing it, which meant she hadn’t died. But still…seizures were
scary enough; she knew that they were dangerous, dangerous enough
that they had taken her parents from her. But she had never
considered the idea that she may actually be dying while having
one.

The other possibility was that when you see
the light, as one person stated, that it was a symbol of the door
into the kingdom of God. Many felt comfort in this connection.

Ethne was not a very religious person,
however, so this concept was foreign to her and not really one that
brought her any comfort.

Working in a hospital she knew that these
claims would be considered ludicrous by a doctor, so she tried to
take them with a grain; but the thought still nagged.

The commonality of everyone’s accounts was
that experiencing this light was a “divine” experience, one that
some people actually sought out in meditation.

If this were true, then maybe seeing the
light wasn’t as dire as she thought. If seeing the Blue Pearl was a
normal occurrence for some people who weren’t having seizures, and
that they actually wanted to see it, maybe it was a good thing she
saw it; and that is why it had comforted her.

She had felt a sense of love and warmth when
she recalled having seen it. It was the same feeling she had felt
when she was swimming in the Blue Hole, and the same feeling she
felt while she held the pearl.

While she did fear death, fear was not
something she felt when she saw the Blue Pearl. Although, she
didn’t really care to see it again if it meant another seizure; she
truly hoped she’d never have to have one of those again.

When she turned off her computer she
realized she was starving. It was after 1 p.m. and Scott was still
not back; she was starting to get a little worried.

She put the pearl back in the box and
decided to take a shower, hoping he would be back by the time she
was out.

It really wasn’t like him to leave like
this, with no note, no nothing.

Just as she was about to get in the shower
she heard the front door open. Standing there naked she truly hoped
it was Scott. Deciding it couldn’t really be anyone else she
grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her before running out to
see him.

When he saw her running down the hall in
just her towel he laughed loudly and caught her as she jumped into
his arms.

“Where were you?!” she said, giving him a
kiss before he put her down.

“I went out for a run,” he said. “Didn’t you
get my note?”

“No, what note?”

“It was in the fridge, next to the waffle
batter. I told you to make me some,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Are you saying you didn’t make me any waffles? That is very rude,
Ethne,” he said, with a playful grin on his face. “You must be
starving! Don’t tell me you just got up, you lazy thing.”

“No! Of course not,” she said.

“Well, then what have you been up to, if
eating wasn’t on your agenda?” he asked.

The knowledge of seeing the Blue Pearl was
new to her. She was still letting it sink in and wasn’t ready to
share anything with him yet. She wasn’t sure how she felt about all
of it – knowing what she may or may not be seeing had affected her.
She didn’t know just yet what the effect meant for her future.

“Nothing really,” she said, choosing for now
to omit her research session. “Just waiting for you, you had me a
little worried.”

“Did I now?” he said. “Well, we will have to
stop doing that to each other now won’t we – and if you weren’t so
lazy and had gotten food for yourself like a normal human being,
you would have known that I was fine.”

He grabbed her towel and pulled it free from
her before racing down the hall with it, leaving her standing naked
and freezing in her living room.

“Hey!” she said, running after him with a
huge smile on her face.

She found him in the bathroom preparing the
shower. “Care to join me?” he asked, holding her towel as ransom
for her answer.

Walking up to him, she took her towel back
and threw it on the floor, answering him with a kiss.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby,” he
said, holding her close to him before letting her get into the hot
water first.

After their shower Ethne was standing in
front of the mirror brushing her hair when Scott came up from
behind and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back into him
and smiled at him in the mirror.

“So…,” he said. “I suppose you’re going to
make me break in your new waffle maker?”

She giggled. “Well, it does seem rather
complicated, so much harder than just popping one in the toaster –
but I think I can handle it.”

“Here,” he said, handing her her apron.
“Don’t forget this…no need to get dressed first.”

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” she said, hitting
him on the arm.

He laughed back at her before heading out to
the kitchen. She joined him after getting dressed, but left the
apron in the bedroom; it really was hideous.

Making the waffles had been easy, especially
since he had been sweet and had made the batter already. They both
ate them quickly since they hadn’t eaten anything all day.

Soon they would both be going to work. While
being ill was not at the top of her list, she hadn’t minded getting
the days off.

While he sipped his coffee he looked at her,
obviously with something on his mind.

“So?” he asked, in a way that implied she
knew what it was he was wanting.

“Yes?” she said.

“Do you want to tell me more about the
pearl?” he asked. “About Ian?”

She had just had so much fun and had been so
happy to see him; this discussion was the farthest thing from what
she wanted to do. But she supposed he deserved to know more.

“What do you want to know exactly?” she
asked, taking a sip of her coffee and slightly dreading what his
questions would be.

“Well…I guess for one, I’d like to know why
you didn’t tell me about either of them? Meeting Ian, I can
understand I suppose. But why didn’t you tell me about finding the
pearl?”

She thought about that for a moment. Having
found out more about the feelings it invoked she understood a
little more why she had left it out, but she wasn’t ready to talk
about that.

“I guess, because I was so sad about having
lost it,” she said. “I had planned on telling you about it after
Ian returned it to me.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “Can I ask you one
more thing?”

“I suppose,” she said, feeling suddenly
uncomfortable about where this was going.

“Did you kiss Ian?”

She had not expected that question. Her
heart started pounding at the idea of telling him about her moments
with Ian. They were personal, and frankly she didn’t see them
relevant to their current relationship. It had happened before they
were dating – albeit while on the trip that Scott had planned,
unbeknownst to her.

Ultimately though, she supposed there was no
need for detail, honesty sure, but detail…no.

“Yes…I did,” she said.

“Did you like it?” he asked.

“What kind of question is that?!” she said,
hitting his arm.

He laughed. “Well, I need to know if I
should be jealous.”

“Ha ha – well, I don’t think it’s any of
your business, Mr. Nosy.”

“Okay, okay,” he said. “But honestly, it
looked to me like you really like the guy.”

His tone was more serious now; she didn’t
know what she could say to him to put his mind at ease. While it
was true she did have feelings for him, she had made no attempts to
keep the relationship with him going.

“Well…I do,” she said, shocked by her own
honesty. “But, I have no plans to ever see him again, Scott. I
don’t even know anything about him, really, except that he lives in
Miami.”

He thought for a minute about her
confession, she didn’t think he had expected her honesty
either.

“Do you like him better than me?” he asked,
a question she
really
hadn’t expected. He certainly wasn’t
holding back today.

“Scott,” she said, taking a deep breath that
she released slowly to let out a little of the anger she was
feeling by this inquisition. “I don’t think that’s very fair to ask
me, or that I could honestly answer you – I’m a bit confused by all
of this, if I’m truly being honest with you. Don’t forget about
what just happened two days ago, I’m not even sure I should be
dating…you or anyone for that matter.”

“Oh, so we’re back to that?” he asked,
leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

“Back to it?” she asked. “Had we ever left
it?”

“Well I thought we had, after all I did buy
you a waffle maker,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah…you did,” she said, feeling her anger
subside a little. “Although, he brought me back my pearl,” she
said, with an obvious jab at his insinuation of debt over a waffle
maker.

He laughed. “Honestly, Ethne, I don’t see
how you possibly think you’re going to get away with living alone
at this point – when you have two guys who have other ideas.”

She rolled her eyes. He obviously still did
not understand her seriousness on the matter, or she supposed he
just didn’t want to.

“So…you really like this guy, huh?” he said,
turning the subject back to things less dire than the subject of
seizures.

“I did,” she said, hoping the past tense
would make him drop the subject. “Why?”

“Just curious – guess I’m going to need to
up my game,” he said, finishing his coffee with a little smirk.

“More mysterious notes?” she asked.

“We’ll see,” he said, grinning before
getting up to clear the table.

T
he next few months
went by uneventfully, though she was constantly paranoid that the
calm was going to be interrupted by a storm. The paranoia made
things less enjoyable and she and Scott often found themselves
arguing over the stupidest things.