The Marriage Book (33 page)

THE MOTION PICTURE PRODUCTION CODE, 1930

Starting in 1922, lawyer and former Republican National Committee chairman Will Hays (1879–1954) was given a yearly salary of $100,000—roughly a million in today’s dollars—to head the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America (later the Motion Picture Association of America), an organization formed by the movie industry to regulate itself and thus avoid government censorship. By 1930, the Hays Code, as it came to be known, included a list of “Don’ts and Be Carefuls” that forbade showing, among other things, miscegenation, drug trafficking, white slavery, ridicule of the clergy, and nudity “in fact or in silhouette.” It also included the following rules regarding adultery.

PLOT MATERIAL:

1) The triangle that is the love of a third party by one already married, needs careful handling, if marriage, the sanctity of the home, and sex morality are not to be imperiled.

2) Adultery as a subject should be avoided:

(a) [Adultery] is never a fit subject for comedy. Thru comedy of this sort, ridicule is thrown on the essential relationships of home and family and marriage, and illicit relationships are made to seem permissible, and either delightful or daring.

(b)
Sometimes adultery must be counted on as material occurring in serious drama. In this case:

1) It should not appear to be justified;

2) It should not be used to weaken respect for marriage;

3) It should not be presented as attractive or alluring.

JOHN LEVY AND RUTH MUNROE

THE HAPPY FAMILY
, 1938

The Happy Family
was a popular advice book that dealt with marriage and childrearing and went through ten printings in its first decade alone. One reason for the book’s success was the imprimatur of Dr. John Levy (1897–1938), an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University. Later editions, following Levy’s death, were updated by his coauthor and widow, Sarah Lawrence psychology professor Dr. Ruth Munroe (1903–1963).

A great many people in our hypocritical society attempt to reconcile monogamy with freedom by pretending to the former while actually enjoying the latter. In practice this solution appears to work as well and as badly as any other. It is based on the theory that what people don’t know won’t hurt them. . . . The extramarital adventure frequently seems to its chief actor quite irrelevant to his marriage. He knows that it is transitory and unimportant, or at least wholly distinct from his family responsibilities. He feels perfectly capable of handling the situation himself without harm to anyone. . . . The erring husband maintains the rules of monogamy for the rest of the world while he orders his own life as he thinks best. He protects his wife from unnecessary pain by concealing his own freedom.

The husband usually feels, moreover, that his sexual conduct is his own affair. As a mature man he does not have to give an account of himself to his wife or to anyone else. Reticence about his love life is a mark of independence and self-sufficiency.

Sometimes this procedure works very well. I suspect, however, that it works well only in those marriages which are fundamentally sound anyway. A man who is genuinely fond of his wife, thoroughly responsible as a husband, and well integrated as a personality can handle hidden deviations from monogamy adequately. If the marriage is already disturbed, however, or if the man is himself very much upset by his behavior, the results of concealment are often as unhappy as they are unexpected.

U.S. POSTCARD, CIRCA 1943

MIKE NICHOLS AND ELAINE MAY

“ADULTERY,” 1960

In addition to their extraordinary separate successes in film, theater, and television, Mike Nichols (1931–2014) and Elaine May (1932–) are still remembered more than half a century after their performing partnership ended as among the most sublime and influential comics in America. Their overnight Broadway hit,
An Evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May
, was based largely on sketches that they first improvised. The show album included the sketch “Adultery,” which presented the same scene—set in a hotel lobby—in America, England, and France, and which can be recited, verbatim, by at least one editor of this anthology.

YVES MONTAND

OUI
MAGAZINE INTERVIEW, 1973

Yves Montand (1921–1991) was famous for his appearances in both French and American films and was also the irresistibly sophisticated singer on several dozen record albums. He was married for thirty-four years, until the death of his wife, the actress Simone Signoret, and he had numerous mistresses, including Edith Piaf, Shirley MacLaine, and, most famously, Marilyn Monroe.

I think a man can have two, maybe three affairs while he is married. But three is the absolute maximum. After that, you’re cheating.

TOM STOPPARD

THE REAL THING
, 1982

One of the most celebrated and prolific of modern playwrights, Sir Tom Stoppard (1937–) was still in his late twenties when the success of one of his first plays,
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
, introduced audiences to what became a signature blend of intellectualism, humor, and occasional absurdity. Works including
Travesties, Jumpers
, and
Arcadia
followed, along with numerous projects for television, radio, and film. In
The Real Thing
, Stoppard created a protagonist (Henry) who is a famous playwright and whose extramarital affair with an actress (Annie) breaks up both their marriages. In the second act, which takes place two years after the first, Henry suspects Annie of infidelity and tears up their home, looking for proof.