The Marry-Me Wish (10 page)

Such a contrast to the focused energy he'd always associated with her. The sort that was intrinsic to her work and was showing again now in the absorption
with the project of restoring his house. The capable, impressive side of Anne Bennett. He'd known her history of raising her sister but had he ever really considered the effect it might have had? Had she really been in the same space that Julia and Mac currently inhabited?

‘But you were just a kid,' he said aloud. ‘What, six or seven years old?'

‘I became a mother.' Anne sat down on the rocks. Her knees were bent and her arms went around them as though she was curling up to comfort herself. And she still stared into the rock pool.

‘I was holding her when Mum died,' she said softly. ‘Did I ever tell you that?'

‘No, I don't think so.'

Anne sighed. ‘It was terrifying. But kind of wonderful in a weird way. Taking responsibility for that little baby and looking after her was what got me through the grief. And Dad understood that. He helped but it was always him helping me, not the other way round.'

‘And you were still a teenager when you lost your dad, weren't you? That must have been very hard.'

Anne gave a slow nod. ‘I was seventeen. Just finishing school and ready to go to uni. Old enough to be able to keep us together without Social Services stepping in and putting Jules in a foster-home, thank goodness.'

The disruption of paternity leave was nothing compared to what Anne had done for her family. It touched him now, as it always had. Maybe it had been her stunning looks and what he'd seen of her skills as a doctor that had attracted him in the first place but
knowing her unusual history had certainly contributed to him falling in love with this woman.

She was so capable. So independent. And, at the same time so incredibly giving.

She was still that same person. Even if she couldn't give him what
he
wanted.

Maybe he had been wrong. It was quite possible that he and Anne could be together again. All he had to do was tell her that he'd changed his mind. That being with her was all that mattered. In the wake of that visit to the twins, he could probably sound convincing in admitting he hadn't really thought it through. That maybe he wasn't ready for that kind of disruption to his life. Maybe he would never be ready.

They could both continue their high-powered careers unchecked. They would understand the pressure the other was under and be able to support and nurture success. They would be wealthy enough to have the best of everything. A dream home. Luxurious holidays anywhere they chose. Freedom to choose any hobby they fancied—if they ever found the time.

And perhaps that was the crux. Maybe they wouldn't need or want to find the time for anything as frivolous as a hobby. Life would be two-dimensional. Each other…and work. Quite apart from watching the joy of children growing up, having a family made finding time a priority. It would give life new dimensions. New meaning. Make it bigger, somehow and more worthwhile.

Was it being selfish, wanting it all? Everything that life had to offer that was good and meaningful?

He had the possibility of a choice here. To be with the woman he loved or to have the family he dreamed of. He was the one who would have to make the sacrifice, though, and he wasn't ready to do that. Despite this overwhelming awareness of the person he knew Anne to be. She wasn't the only one who'd worked hard to get where she was. Who knew what she wanted the future to hold? Whether or not she would be part of that future, however, she deserved to know how special she was.

‘You are amazing, you know,' he said quietly. ‘What you've done for Julia has been truly extraordinary.'

‘You mean the surrogacy thing?'

‘That, too.' He had to touch her. To try and release what was tying him into a knot inside. He held out his hand. ‘You had enough fresh air? Don't want you to overdo things.'

Anne took his hand and let him help her to her feet. The rocky surface was uneven, though, and she stumbled. Fell into his arms.

The opportunity was irresistible. David held her and let her get her balance. He waited until she looked up at him, with a mixture of relief and…surprise in her face. Her eyes shone and her lips were parted a little. And her hands were clinging to his shoulders. David didn't wait for common sense to override his response. He bent his head and kissed her.

 

It was a gentle kiss.

A brief, soft touch of David's lips to her own. Anne didn't have time to close her eyes, even, so she was still looking up at him, stunned, when he pulled back.

For a heartbeat, they simply looked at each other, saying nothing.

Anne could feel her heart hammering but it had nothing to do with the fright of her near fall seconds ago. She could still feel David's hands cradling her back as well, steadying her. And she could feel the strength in the muscles beneath her hands because she was still clutching his upper arms.

She could hear the roll of gentle waves on rocks below and the jagged edge to the breath David was drawing in.

She could smell something more potent than the salt water in the surrounding rock pools or the piles of kelp further away. The same smell she remembered from being carried in David's arms when she'd been barely conscious. The alluring scent of safety.

Her lips were still tingling from that brief touch of his. A sensation that was opening new memories. Awakening desire. She could
taste
it.

Oh…
help
!

She should move, Anne decided in that split second of being aware of little other than what her senses were telling her. She could actually feel the message being sent to her body. An order for action. It complied, sort of. It just seemed to move in the wrong direction.

Closer to David.

An infinitesimal amount, maybe, but it was enough for David to notice. For him to respond by drawing her even closer. Enough to prompt him to bend his head again, and this time it was a real kiss.

His lips moved over hers with the subtle changes of
position and pressure that were a familiar form of communication. It was impossible not to slip straight back into a response that begged for more. For what she knew he was capable of giving her.

Such intense pleasure. Sensations that made her forget she had bones in her body. That made things sparkle and curl deep inside. Tiny lights she hadn't felt for a very long time. A brightness she knew could be turned up until it exploded.

God, she had missed this.

The kiss went on. And on. For too long. For not nearly long enough.

Anne wasn't sure who pulled away first. The one whose common sense had called loudly enough to be heard, perhaps. Those lights began to dim and flicker, leaving her feeling curiously bereft. And shocked at how bright they had been. Was it her own reaction she could see in David's eyes when she met them this time? Or was he feeling the same way?

Who would have thought that the time apart from each other could have magnified physical attraction to that degree? That they were not only still fluent in that very private language but that it seemed to be on an entirely new level.

A dangerous level.

One that made Anne think crazy thoughts.

Like the fact that having those babies for Julia had shown her she was quite capable of being a mother again. That the tape had been peeled away from a maternal switch she had been sure would not be turned on again. That giving birth and nurturing her
own child could be fulfilling in a way her career might never be.

That she could have David's baby.

And David.

But part of her mind was fighting back. Pushing opposing thoughts into her head. The kind she had been convinced were the truth when she had given those babies to their real mother. That she had already sacrificed enough. That this was
her
time. The only time she might have in her entire life when she could reach out and achieve her own dreams.

Amazing how fast thoughts could flash. How what was happening in your head could be so at war with what was happening in your heart. And body. No wonder it created a kind of meltdown. A feeling of utter confusion.

Could David see all that happening in the tiny space of time he continued to hold her, with both his hands and his gaze? Was that why she could see what looked like a reflection of her own confusion?

Anne could only be grateful that David took charge of what could have become an awkward moment.

His lips curved in a smile. ‘Oops,' he said. ‘Where did that come from?'

She could have said something that might have revealed the effect that kiss had had on her. She was tempted to say that she didn't care where it had come from as long as they could find their way back again.

But that would lead to talking about it. She might confess her confusion and even suggest that she'd been wrong about what she wanted in her future.

And what if David didn't want what he had once
wanted? He was selling his beloved property. He had a new job lined up to go to very soon. He'd moved on.

This last year hadn't been a picnic for either of them. Was it fair to start something that might simply be a rerun of the past? A relationship that promised everything but disintegrated into the pain of two people pulling in different directions and ripping little pieces off the other as they did so.

Anne couldn't face that. Especially not now when she knew very well that she was more emotionally fragile than she had ever been in her life before. The prospect of adding that kind of pain was terrifying.

So she simply smiled back at David as she began easing herself away from his touch.

‘Sea air,' she said lightly. ‘It's known for its freshness.'

She took a shaky breath and discovered she could move properly now. She turned to start the short trek back to her car. ‘I think you were right,' she added. ‘I shouldn't overdo things.'

‘Had enough, then?' David's voice was right behind her. His words very quiet.

She chose to ignore the ambiguity in his query.

Or maybe she didn't.

‘Yes,' was all she said.

‘Fine.'

She couldn't see David's face so she had to guess at what the tone of that word revealed. The best she could come up with was, what…resignation?

‘Let's go home,' he added.

No. Not resignation. It was more like relief.

A
WEEK
went by and some shape began to emerge from the chaos of restoration work on David's house and garden.

Basic repairs had been completed. New plumbing and wiring was in place. Old paintwork was spruced up and faded wallpaper stripped from many rooms. In the garden, new leaves and buds were already appearing to fill in the raw patches where shrubs and roses had been pruned, and the borders had fresh, newly turned soil in places that had only been a tangle of weeds recently.

The weather was glorious and every day Anne could open windows all over the house to let sunshine and fresh air reach every corner and counteract the dust and dirt from the ongoing work. She was making final choices for new wallpaper and curtain fabrics. She had discovered garden centres and filled trolleys with boxes of bedding plants or chosen rose bushes from the glossy pictures on the nursery walls.

The promise of what the finished picture would be like hung in the air, taking shape and urging her to become a little more involved with every passing day. David seemed to be enjoying the process as much as
Anne was. He opened accounts at plant nurseries and fabric stores.

‘Are you sure you don't want to put a limit on what you're spending?' Anne had to check one day during the following week, having had a wonderful afternoon choosing baby trees.

He shook his head. ‘Go for it,' he told her. ‘You're doing an amazing job. I think you missed your vocation.'

‘I am loving it,' she admitted. ‘I never even knew I was interested in this kind of thing.'

‘You should be resting, not scraping paint and lugging stuff around. For heaven's sake, Annie, you were holding a
spade
when I got home today and you'd obviously been using it.'

‘I needed some exercise. I'm feeling fine. Never better, in fact.' And it was true but her smile had more to do with the way David had said her name than her physical well-being. They were in this project together and it was drawing them a little closer every day. ‘You know what they say,' she added.

‘What?'

‘A change is as good as a holiday.'

‘Some holiday.'

‘Works for me. This is the longest I've ever had away from work and I'm not remotely bored.'

‘Really?' David's glance was curious. ‘Aren't you missing work at all?'

‘Not yet.' Surprisingly, this was also true. There was something vaguely disturbing about that but Anne wasn't going to try and analyse what that might be. ‘I'm sure I will once this project is finished.'

‘Mmm.' David suddenly seemed absorbed in sorting the handful of mail he'd brought inside with him. ‘I'm sure you will.'

The moment had been loaded with…something. Again, Anne didn't want to try and figure out what it was because there was something else hanging in the air these days.

That kiss on the beach.

It hadn't been mentioned. It certainly hadn't been repeated but it was there. A different kind of promise, maybe.

But of what?

Anne was trying to ignore it. Trying not to ignite any spark of hope that it was a doorway back to a relationship that might be more than friendship. The kind of spark she'd experienced when David had suggested she come home with him. She wasn't even sure she wanted a repeat of that kiss, despite the messages her body gave her when she lay alone in her bed at night but even if she did, the first move would have to come from David.

He was the one who'd pulled a plug on the relationship in the first place. He hadn't been prepared to compromise on his dreams for his future and he'd made decisive moves to get on with his life. He still was making those moves with his plans to sell his property. If the kiss had changed anything, Anne was sure she would pick up on it and that would be the time to start seriously thinking about where they were headed.

And maybe that was why that particular moment had seemed so loaded. She'd been unable to stop herself looking for clues. David had seemed astonished she
wasn't missing work and that she was enjoying the domestic kind of challenge she had taken on with the house and garden. Was he thinking she might be happy to give up work for a longer time and be content to nurture children as well as a garden? Had she been encouraging that line of thought with her accounts of happy visits to see Julia and Mac and the twins over the last couple of weeks? There was no mistaking the way David had lost interest in the conversation when she'd said she would start missing work in due course.

Let it go, she ordered herself. This kind of mental circuit was useless. Damaging. Something had changed for the better in the wake of that kiss because they were more comfortable with each other and Anne was more than happy not to rock the boat. Despite the rapidly increasing level of her physical activity, she
was
still resting emotionally. Content to sidestep both the kind of fierce mental effort her job involved and also the emotional roller-coaster that came with the territory of an intimate relationship.

It was a joy to have a distraction that was both compelling and deeply satisfying. And maybe the promise hanging in the air was the same for both aspects of her life right now—the restoration project and her relationship with David. Basic repairs had been done. The finished picture was unknown but was drawing them both forward because it had to be better than it had been before.

Toward the end of that week, Anne was spending the last of the daylight to empty some of the numerous boxes of plants she had purchased. This was the best time of day for this task. Hot sun would not stress the
baby plants. She could give them a good drink and they would have the whole night to settle into their new environment. This was one of the bigger borders, in view of the main living area.

‘Part of the vista,' she reminded herself with a giggle.

Her plan had been simple. She wanted to create a colourful mass of blooms. The kind that David's mother had probably taken pride in. After consulting books and experts in the garden centres, she was planting old-fashioned flowers en masse.

Plants like delphiniums and hollyhocks for height at the back, nigella and aquilegia amongst the rose bushes in the middle and a border of gorgeous blue violas along the front.

 

The house was empty.

So quiet.

Disappointment at not finding Anne in the kitchen where she normally was at this time of day morphed into something even less pleasant as a horrible notion occurred to David.

Maybe she'd packed her bags and gone home. She might have had a phone call today to tell her that the repairs on her cottage were complete and it was ready for habitation again. She might have tried to call him to tell him she was moving home but he'd been so busy he hadn't even glanced at his cellphone for too many hours to count and then the idea of checking for messages had been the last thing on his mind when all he'd wanted had been to get home and unwind after a frantic day.

It had been one major case after another in the emer
gency department today. A child had been knocked from his bicycle by a careless motorist and the head injury had looked serious enough to have panic-stricken parents and other relatives haunting the department until the little boy had been stabilised and taken to the intensive care unit. A man of only thirty-five had been the victim of a major heart attack and had arrested twice before he could be stabilised enough to be transferred into the care of cardiologists and taken to the catheter laboratory where several stents had been put in to repair blocked arteries.

Another adult had presented with terrifying shortness of breath that turned out to be a pulmonary embolus complicating the recovery from recent surgery. And amidst all the major drama had been the relentless stream of less life-threatening but still serious cases. People who had been in pain and sick and needed medical assistance.

Yes, it had been an exceptionally long day but David had been completely in his element. It might have been stressful and tiring but even in its most chaotic moments he'd been aware of an undercurrent that had added to his job satisfaction. One that he hadn't really been aware of missing for rather a long time.

That undercurrent was the knowledge that at the end of his day he would be going home to someone who would be genuinely interested in hearing all about it.

Funny how that extra dimension could make such a difference. Enough to make it no chore to spend even longer at work. Long enough to make a visit to the intensive care unit and the coronary care unit to follow up
on some of those patients so that he could add to their stories when telling them to Anne.

But she wasn't here.

David dropped his briefcase beside the kitchen table, shrugged off his jacket to throw it over the back of a chair and loosened the tie that was starting to feel like a noose around his neck. He wrenched open the door of the fridge and extracted a bottle of icy-cold lager, flipping off the lid and not bothering to pick it up when it skated across the bench to land in the sink.

Moodily, he wandered out of the kitchen. The door to the guest suite was open but he could sense the emptiness beyond. When he'd finished his beer, he'd better unearth his phone and find out where the hell Anne had gone. With a sigh that was more like a low-grade rumble, he skirted the heap of drop sheets and big buckets that were obviously awaiting the return of the decorators in the morning. Their presence prompted him to walk into the main living area in the hope that some visible progress might spark an interest that seemed to have utterly faded since noticing he was alone in the house.

Wallpapering had begun. The huge room looked ghostly in the fading daylight thanks to the pale drop sheets covering all the furniture and the lack of any curtains at the windows. Ghostly and…lonely. He could brighten things up by turning on some lights but why bother? Taking another long swig of his drink, David stepped towards the remaining natural light instead. More out of a sense of duty than interest he looked
through the latticed windows to see if he could spot anything new in the garden redevelopment.

And there, right in front of him, he saw Anne crouched on the edge of the biggest border.

Thank God, was his first thought.
She's still here
.

The wash of relief was powerful enough to render him motionless, his drink poised in mid-air. He felt his lips curl into a smile that was entirely unconscious and then both his hand and his eyelids lowered as something much darker than relief took over.

Dismay.

Why did it have to be
this
woman who provoked such overwhelmingly strong feelings in him?

Would he ever be able to get over her?

Did he want to?

Opening his eyes again, David found it was still bright enough outside to make him blink. It would be light for maybe another hour but the sun was low enough to be casting a rosy tinge of sunset on everything, making it look warmer. Softer. Very, very inviting. And Anne was central to that scene.

She was totally intent on her task. She wouldn't have been able to see him standing here, staring at her, anyway, with the sun reflecting off the windows so there was no reason for her to have been distracted. Or for David to move. He could indulge himself for a minute or two and watch her easing tiny plants from a container, cradling each one in her hands before setting it into a hole she had already made in the freshly turned soil. He could see the care she took in positioning them and then pressing earth gently around each new plant.

She'd obviously been out there for some time. The whole border was dotted with small, fragile-looking green clumps. Her arms and face were streaked with dirt and he saw why when she pushed wayward tendrils of hair back from her face before reaching for another plant.

Maybe she was so absorbed with what she was doing that she had simply lost track of the time. She needed to stop. To eat and rest. Unaware of his decisive nod, David headed for the door.

 

The ache in her back intensified as Anne finally stood up to drop the last, empty punnet into the wheelbarrow. She arched backwards, her hands on her hips to dig her fingers into the spot that hurt, and then she straightened, letting her breath out slowly.

A contented sigh.

She was tired, yes, and her back was a bit sore, but apart from that she was feeling great. Fantastic, even. The satisfaction she was getting out of the creative enterprise of the last few weeks was something new and extraordinary. She couldn't wait to show David what she'd accomplished today and share the vision of what it was going to look like in a season or two.

Not that either of them would see the finished picture.

Anne pushed the negative thought aside. How stupid would it be to spoil how good she was feeling right now? Walking towards the nearby tap that had the hose coiled over it was enough to flip the direction of her mood. She dragged in a lungful of the fresh air and noted the spring in her step. She was, possibly, more physically fit than she'd ever been thanks to all the fresh
air and exercise in the garden. Hard to believe it was only coming up to a month since she'd given birth to the twins. She'd never expected to recover this quickly, although her back was reminding her that her abdominal muscles still needed a bit more time.

Excess weight was dropping off fast too and that thought made Anne realise how hungry she was. As soon as she'd watered in the new plants she would go inside and start dinner. Having left her watch off, she could only guess at the time but daylight was definitely fading now.

Why wasn't David home yet?

The niggle of concern increased as Anne uncoiled the hose and turned the tap on. It made her turn her head as she pulled the hose towards the garden and it was then she saw him emerge from the house. He had unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and was rolling up his sleeves. His tie was gone and the collar was also unbuttoned. His long legs covered the lawn in easy strides and as he got closer Anne could see he was smiling. It was a picture of a man happy to be where he was and doing what he doing.