Authors: Leigh Greenwood
“It's too dark to see. Besides, if they're gone, you won't find anything.”
“I have to know.” Josie didn't like the idea of wandering around a strange ranch in the dead of night. Even less did she like approaching dark woods at any time. The clatter of her shoes on the rocky ground sounded unnaturally loud in the silence. She approached the edge of the trees and peered into the darkness, but couldn't see anything.
“Zeke.”
She didn't dare call loudly. Rather than enter the darkness, she walked along the edge of the trees, calling softly as she went. The farther she went without getting a response, the more nervous she got. If the men were here, why didn't they answer? Suzette said Hawk would wake up if she breathed too loudly. Zeke didn't sleep soundly either. Why hadn't one of them heard her? Deciding she'd gone far enough from the comparative safety of the wagon, she stopped and tried to peer into the darkness, only to have the silence mock her fear. Feeling more uneasy than ever, she turned to find Zeke standing only inches away. She was barely able to stifle a scream.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded.
Josie's heart thumped so hard it was painful. It took her several moments to recover her breath. The shock of Zeke materializing out of nowhere when her nerves were already wound tight caused a sudden weakness in her limbs. She swayed and reached out to him for support.
“Are you okay? Are you sick?”
She forced herself to concentrate, to
will
her limbs to regain their strength. “I'm fine. You just surprised me.” And stunned her as well. It was stupid to believe she could walk away and forget Zeke any more than Suzette could forget Hawk. She wasn't in love with him, but she could be if she let herself. “Where are the mares?”
“We heard you approaching from the road. It sounded like your wagon, but we figured someone might be using it to lure us out into the open, so we hid the horses. Why are you here?”
No matter what happened, Zeke and Hawk always seemed to be a step ahead, but they couldn't know what the sheriff planned to do. “Gardner said the sheriff means to impound your mares until you can produce proof you own them. He said he didn't think you and Hawk could have earned the money to buy such quality animals.”
“We have the bills of sale.”
“From the way Gardner enjoyed telling us about it, I don't think that's going to be enough.”
“You mean he's going to say they're forged and take the mares anyway?”
“I don't know what he's going to do, but I think you ought to leave tonight.”
She'd been so caught up in her worries, the sound of
wheels on rocky ground hadn't registered until now. She turned to see Hawk and Suzette approaching with the wagon. Suzette held the reins, but her gaze kept returning to Hawk. One glance, and Josie knew Suzette had reached the point of no return. Heartbreak was inevitable.
Why hadn't Zeke and Hawk kept going after they fixed the wheel? Why hadn't Hawk refused to let Suzette spend the nights with him? Why did Zeke have to be so nice even when Josie did her best to drive him off? She and Suzette had their lives carefully planned. They knew what they wanted to do, how to do it, and how to keep from getting hurt in the process.
But Zeke and Hawk had ruined all that.
“Suzette's not going back.”
Suzette and Josie had already decided that, but Hawk said it as if something had changed.
“Neither am I,” Josie told him. “We're going to Tombstone.”
Zeke's expression hardened. “After this, you're going to work for Gardner?”
“There have to be other places where we can work.”
“Tombstone is too small to have more than one theater that can pay you the kind of money you got in Benson.”
Josie hadn't expected that, but she was certain they could find a well-paying job. Their act was too popular to believe otherwise. “We'll find something even if we have to go to Bisbee.”
“Gardner's going to know you helped us,” Hawk said to Suzette. “He might pursue you there.”
“Stop worrying about us!” Josie's patience was running out. She wanted the men to get started toward
their ranch so she and Suzette could head toward Tombstone. Or Bisbee. Anyplace but with Zeke and Hawk.
“We know this man who had a gambling hall in San Francisco,” Hawk said. “I think we could get him to give you a job.”
Josie didn't let herself think about San Francisco. After New York, that was the ultimate dream of every entertainer. “Who is he? How do you know him?”
“He's Zac Randolph. Jake served with his brother during the war. Zac used to own a place called the Little Corner of Heaven. His old partner runs it now.”
Josie had heard of the Little Corner of Heaven. She had no doubt Hawk had been there, but she considered it unlikely he knew Zac Randolph well enough to get jobs for two women he'd never seen. “Fine. Send him a telegram, but you've got to leave tonight. I don't trust Gardner not to do something underhanded.”
“I'm just waiting for you to get in the wagon,” Zeke said. “Hawk and I are ready to go.”
Though she'd never done it before, Josie let Zeke help her climb up on the wagon seat next to Suzette. Something about his touch, his mere presence, made her fears seem less pressing. As absurd as it sounded, she felt as if nothing really terrible could happen to her when Zeke was around. But that was stupid. The worst thing possible had already happened.
Zeke and Hawk led the mules into the woods, through the creek, and into the open area on the other side where the mares grazed hungrily on grass that grew with surprising abundance among the cactus and mesquite. The horses the men rode stood, saddled and
ready, under a sycamore. The two men walked toward their horses, but instead of mounting immediately, they stood talking for so long Josie started to get worried. “What are they talking about?” she asked Suzette.
“Hawk told me they had been talking about not following the river. Now that they know what the sheriff intends to do, I expect they're deciding what route to take.”
Josie looked to the south. About ten miles away the Whetstone Mountains reared up against the night sky. She was sure that going around them was certain to add at least two days to the trip, but she wouldn't have to worry about that. Once the men got under way, she and Suzette would head for Tombstone.
Why hadn't they left already?
She didn't know how it had happened, but she felt a deep personal connection with Zeke. She wasn't in love with him, but the connection was strong nonetheless. She liked and admired him. She enjoyed being with him. She had a feeling she'd only scratched the surface when it came to getting to know the
real
man, the one he kept hidden from everyone but Hawk and the members of his adopted family. Knowing she was left out of that charmed circle made her feel jealous and a little sad.
“What can they be talking about?” Suzette had clasped her hands in her lap so tightly her knuckles cracked.
“Us.” Anyone who'd been around the two men for as much as a day knew they thought virtually with a single mind. They were so used to working together,
they could probably defend themselves in their sleep. It was the presence of two women that had put a knot in their thinking.
“What will they make us do?”
Josie had never seen Suzette look so despondent. The moonlight gave her drawn face a bleached-out quality. She was so white she looked like a ghost.
“They won't make us do anything we don't want to do,” Josie said.
“That's not what I meant to ask. Do you think they'll let us go with them?”
The desperation in Suzette's voice cut through Josie's tangled thoughts like a hot knife. Suzette was in love with Hawk and wanted to be with him.
“What do you mean by
go with them?
Are you saying you love Hawk and want to live with him?”
Suzette stared at Hawk in the distance. “Yes.”
“What about your sister? What about our act?”
Suzette's gaze didn't waver from Hawk. “I don't know.”
“Does he know?”
“No.”
“Is he in love with you?”
“I don't know.”
Josie had been aware of pressure building inside her, but now it increased until she felt as if she'd swallowed a ball of fire that was threatening to consume her. Ever since those housewives in Globe started their crusade against loose women, her life had come apart faster than a rockslide down a mountainside. They'd lost good jobs in a prosperous town and had been forced to travel through the desert in the company of two of the most self-sufficient men in the world.
They'd gotten involved with a rich horse thief, and had to leave another good job. Now their unwanted attraction to these two men was threatening to destroy their act and the rest of their lives.
“Maybe we ought to turn around and go back to Benson. If we're lucky, nobody will know we left. Gardner can't prove we warned Zeke and Hawk.”
“I'm not going back.”
“We can head for Tombstone.”
Suzette turned to face Josie. There was no hesitation in her eyes. “I'm not going to Tombstone or Bisbee.”
“Ever?”
Suzette's gaze swung back to Hawk. “I don't know.”
Josie wanted to shout at Suzette for threatening their futures, but she didn't, because she knew her friend was suffering. It must be agonizing to love someone without knowing if he loved you in return.
“Have you ever known you had to do something even though it could ruin your whole life?” Suzette asked.
“Only when I ran away.”
Josie would never forget the fear that had encased her from head to foot, making it hard for her to move one foot in front of the other, but each step forward had made the next one easier. The whole time she'd believed she was protecting herself, that she could take care of herself. But falling in love meant losing control, something Josie could never do. Just the thought of it threw her into a panic.
“Running away would be easier,” Suzette said.
“You're not talking about running away from somebody else. You're talking about running away from yourself. That's impossible.”
“No, it's not. You've been doing it for years.”
An unnamed fear emerged from its hiding place and began circling just out of reach in the back of Josie's mind. The feeling of foreboding was so strong, she could barely resist the impulse to look over her shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“You're so afraid that some man will hurt you, you've closed down inside. You think you don't have any feelings for Zeke, but that's because you won't let yourself look.”
“That's not true,” Josie said, feeling unfairly maligned. “I like Zeke. I even told him so. I know he'd never hurt me.”
“If you gave yourself half a chance, you'd fall in love with him.” Suzette searched Josie's face. “You might be already.”
The circling fear leapt out of the darkness with a suddenness that caused Josie to start visibly. The dream she'd kept at bay for years burst its bonds and exploded in her mindâthe nightmare that she was in the power of a man who was about to rape her. Icy chills caused her to shake uncontrollably. Fear, an emotion she'd steadfastly denied, ran rampant. To be in love was to lose control. Loss of control meant danger. Danger meant she must run before she was lost.
It took a tremendous amount of willpower, but Josie refused to let herself panic. “I don't want to love any man,” she said as calmly as she could. “I don't want to be in any man's control, and I'm not in love with Zeke. I respect and admire him, I appreciate what he did for us, but that's all.” The sound of her own words made her feel stronger, more resolute, able to withstand Suzette's scrutiny without flinching.
Suzette studied her for a long time in silence. One of the mules stamped his foot and blew through his mouth, probably from impatience at being kept standing so long.
“You may be right,” Suzette said finally. “But if so, it's because you won't let yourself feel.”
“Why should I want to feel? Being in love with Hawk is making you miserable. You don't know whether he loves you. And if he does, you don't know whether he wants to marry you. That man has suffered from prejudice all his life. You know he's not going to marry anyone who can't be proud of him. And how would your sister feel if you married a half-breed? You know no man in Quebec society wants a half-breed for a brother-in-law.”
Suzette seemed to shrink into herself a little more with each word out of Josie's mouth. Josie hated to do this to her friend, but Suzette had to know what she was facing.
“I don't have the answer to any of your questions,” Suzette said. “I can only take things one step at a time.”
Suzette's dilemma wrung Josie's heart, but she wasn't about to let her get away with fooling herself. “It's not that simple. You'll have to choose between Hawk and what you want for your sister. You can't have both.”
A single tear welled up in Suzette's eye, spilled over her eyelid, and rolled slowly down her cheek leaving a narrow trail of moisture glistening in the moonlight. The second, which followed quickly after the first, just made Josie feel worse. She leaned forward and put her arms around Suzette. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”
“It's true.”
That just made it all the harder to hear. They sat with their arms around each other until the sound of footsteps on dry leaves warned them that Zeke and Hawk had finished talking.
“You cold?” Hawk asked.
“A little,” Suzette said, not showing her face.
“What have you decided to do?” Josie asked to deflect Hawk's attention until Suzette had a chance to get her emotions under control.
“We're going to head for the mountains. There are plenty of places to hold the mares until the sheriff and Gardner get tired of looking for us. Then we can head for the ranch.”