The Memory Jar (35 page)

T
he breeze had picked up and Sarah held the screen door so it wouldn’t slam as she closed it. The aroma of Esta’s coffee followed her out the door. Instead of pouring herself a cup and chatting with her aunt at the kitchen table, she escaped to the porch with her Bible in hand, sitting down on the top step.

The changes of autumn were evident in the world, especially around Roy J. and Esta’s farm. Crisp air stung Sarah’s cheeks, and the rustle of the drying leaves on the trees danced in her ears.

Sarah watched the orange and yellow leaves as they swayed in the breeze. She knew, with one strong gust, a number of them would blow from the trees like seeds blown off a dandelion.

She thought about her plans for her day, first of which was for Roy J. to bring up glass jars from the cellar so they could get to canning. And then she’d make cupcakes. Sarah smiled. She didn’t have a big customer base, but Helen and Jonah always came back for more, and they paid with the most delightful hugs.

As she thought about these things, something caught Sarah’s attention. It was a tall, Amish man striding around the side of
the house with confident steps. Jathan stood tall as he walked, and Sarah’s heart leaped in her chest. The pain and heartache of not seeing him vanished at one flash of his dimpled smile.

She wanted to run to him, to open her arms, but instead she continued sitting.

Jathan paused before her and then sat down. “Sarah, I’ve been a fool.”

“Are you trying to convince yerself or me?” She blinked as she looked at him, telling herself it was okay to cry this time, with happiness, with wonder. “I’m already convinced.”

“I have something to show you and it’s not very far. It’s jest a short walk.”

“In Charm?”

“
Ja
, Sarah. In Charm. Won’t you come with me?” It only took them ten minutes to walk to town. When they got there, they approached a row of shops. “Have you passed this place before?” Sarah nodded.

Jathan smiled. “Have you gone up the side street to see what’s up that stretch?”

Sarah bit her lower lip. “
ne
, I suppose I haven’t. Is that what you’ve come to show me?” she asked.

Light danced in Jathan’s gaze.
“Ja.”

He took her hand and led her forward, toward a walkway that curved around the side of the building.

He paused just before they rounded the corner.

Jathan swallowed hard. “You have to close yer eyes.”

“Really?” She laughed and placed her hand over them, leaving her fingers partly spread so she could peek through.

“Yer not fooling me.” He released her hand and crossed his arms over his chest.

She squeezed her eyes shut and then his hand reached out
and led her forward. When they’d taken ten steps, he paused and turned her shoulders so she faced … whatever he had to show her.

“Okay. Now open yer eyes.”

Sarah’s eyes sprang open. Aunt Lynette waved and smiled. “I’m first in line!” she called.

Dozens of others stood around. Bev Troyer and other former customers Sarah recognized though she did not know their names.

Next to Lynette, Jathan’s niece Catherine wore a yellow apron over her Amish dress. She waved and smiled. “The kitchen’s all ready fer you, Sarah!”

Sarah looked from the smiling faces to the building. It was a simple storefront with white curtains in the windows. There was some type of sign, but a sheet was draped over it.

“Why is that covered?” she asked.

Jathan led her up the porch steps. “That’s the best part. Everything will be revealed in time.” Then he led her through the door.

“It’s a bakery, Sarah. A cupcake bakery. And it’s all yers.”

“Mine?”

“Well, ours. My
Dat
and
brieder
gave their approval.
Dat
is doing better. He can talk some, and Yonnie is staying and running our workshop after all.”

“Ours?” She repeated the word as she stepped through the door. No one followed them inside. It’s as if they all understood this was Jathan’s gift to give without all their fuss.

Inside, colored tablecloths brightened the space. Above the windows, a fringe of branches was on display. Small trinkets hung from them. A pinecone. An old whistle. A wooden yo-yo. All things similar to what Sarah had in her memory jars. Emotion caught in her throat.

“Where did you get all these things?”

“Oh, I asked around. Friends shared their keepsakes. Attached to each one is a paper label and a name. In time they can each tell you the story behind each item.”

She looked at the decorations on the wall. More items. More names. “Patty would have loved it.”

“Just as long as you do too …”

“
Ja
. It’s perfect.”

“The kitchen isn’t modern. Not as much as I’d like, but we can improve things over time. The man in New York offered to put up the money fer all this. He believes in you, Sarah. I do too. And … I want to show you this too.”

Jathan took her hand and led her to a display case on a side wall. A counter had been set up with trays. Lining the counter were twenty glass jars. Each jar was filled with treats: gummy bears, cookie crumbles, colored sprinkles.

She clapped her hands. “What’s this for?”

“You should know.” Jathan bent down and kissed her forehead. “It’s a decorating station. It was yer idea. My
Mem
reminded me. She thought folks might enjoy decorating their own cupcakes … making them fancy.”

Sarah turned and scanned the faces looking through the window. Standing off to one side she saw
Mem
Schrock watching her through the glass.

“Danki,”
Sarah mouthed, and then she motioned her inside.

Mem
Schrock entered with open arms. “I’m so sorry, dear. I jest didn’t see yer vision. I see it now, and Jathan has done a lovely job.”

“
Ja
, he has. And I’m starting to understand. You didn’t see my vision because God gave us each our own.”

“Yer right, dear.” She leaned forward and kissed Sarah’s cheek.

Sarah placed a hand over her heart, not realizing how such a simple motion could mean so much.

“
Danki
… I love it.”

“
ne
, dear, thank you,”
Mem
Schrock said.

“Fer what?” Sarah asked.

“Fer helping us all understand that God made us all creative in special ways. Fer Will and Yonnie it was with wood. Fer Jathan it’s numbers, baking, and ideas. Jathan needed this … needs to get out of that workshop. He did it fer you, but in a way, it’s yer gift to him too.”

“So you won’t be mad if my cupcakes are fancy?” Sarah chuckled.

Mem
Schrock wagged her finger in the air. “Well, I’ll choose the plain ones myself, but if our God created the violets and the butterflies, I suppose he’d appreciate you honoring him by recreating those things fer people to enjoy.” Then she chuckled. “Of course, I still think it’s a shame that you put all the work in and someone jest gobbles it up.”

“Not to me.” Sarah smiled. “Because even after the last bite is eaten, the memory remains. And it’s those memories we’ll always carry with us. It’s the things we appreciate and treasure that stay on our minds and hearts even after they’re gone.”

Mem
Schrock gave her another hug and then hustled out to join the others.

Sarah turned and faced Jathan. “It’s
wunderbaar. Danki
.”

“It’s not only me you have to thank. We all did our part. Yonnie made the tables and chairs.
Mem
sewed the curtains and tablecloths. Some of yer customers came up to help too.”

Sarah let out a contented sigh, and as she looked around the room, she remembered that moment at Patty’s grave. She’d questioned if anyone would ever truly know her, truly understand. Jathan did.

She looked at Jathan and took two steps forward. “This is me.”

“
Ja
, Sarah, it’s fer you.”

“No, Jathan, you don’t understand. You know me. You’ve captured everything inside me within this place …” She let her voice trail off.

“If you believe that and can forgive my foolishness, I have something else to show you.”

Jathan took her hand. They walked through the kitchen and out the back door. There was a small patio, a walkway, and at the end of the walkway, a little house. On the door was a wooden sign that read
Schrock
.

“What is that? Is that cottage yers?”

He glanced down at her. “It is mine, but I hope someday it will be ours.”

“But what about yer parents’ house?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.” Jathan grinned. “Why do I jest have to accept things because that’s always the way they’ve been? I spoke to Yonnie. He and Leah were excited about living at the house. Not only do they have room fer all the children, but he’s right by the workshop, too, and Leah is there to help
Mem
with
Dat
.”

“So as fer us …”

“As fer us, Sarah, we can begin a life together. The life we want.”

“Danki …”

“I need to thank you too.” Jathan lowered his face toward hers. “You have given me permission to be myself, to pray fer and ask God to show me who he designed me to be. And the more I’ve gotten to know you, Sarah, the more I believe that he designed us not to work by ourselves, but together.

“And … there’s one last surprise.” Tears rimmed Jathan’s eyes as he led her back around to the front of the store. Her friends waited. No one spoke. They all just looked at her with eager eyes.

“We brought someone special in today.” He pointed to someone sitting in a rocking chair on the far corner of the porch.

Sarah watched as the tall Amish woman stood and strode toward her. She had Patty’s smile and Patty’s eyes. A longing for her friend welled up inside.

“Mrs. Litwiller.” Sarah rushed forward. “You came.”

“We live not many hours away. I have cousins here. Jathan found me. He’s a persistent young man.” She gave Sarah a hug and pulled back. “I couldn’t miss this, especially not when Jathan honored Patty so by using her name.”

Sarah placed her fingertips to her forehead, not understanding. “Her name?”

With a wave from Jathan, Yonnie pulled the sheet off the painted wood sign that hung above the door. Sarah read the name of the bakery and gasped.

“Patty-Cakes.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “She would be so proud of this. So happy we used her name.”

Then she stepped closer to Jathan and placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close.

“After Patty’s death, I wasn’t sure I’d have a full, happy heart again, but I do, Jathan … I do.”

“You also have someone who loves you completely, Sarah. It jest took me some time to figure it out myself.”

Sarah smiled and then shrugged. “I understand. All of us get lost and wander off the path fer a time. I’m jest glad you found yer way out.”

“God led me out.” Jathan kissed the tip of Sarah’s nose. “And he used my
Dat
’s words to do so. I’m jest glad the path led to you … always to you.”

“Me, too, Jathan.” She snuggled her cheek against his chest. “I’m also thankful fer Patty-Cakes, fer the memories past and the ones I still have to experience.”

Ten-year-old Sarah didn’t like to obey, but she hated disobeying worse. She always had this ache in the center of her chest that moved out in all directions every time she did something she knew she wasn’t supposed to do. The ache reminded her of the time she’d gotten into a fistfight with her brother Jonathan and he’d hit her square in the chest. He said later he was only playing, but she hadn’t thought so and Dat hadn’t either. Jonathan had had to do her chores, in addition to his, for a week. While that punishment couldn’t ease the pain of the punch, it did turn the memory from a bad one into one that had a bit of humor as she watched Jonathan try to knead bread and wash dishes
.

But now … Patty eyed the empty kitchen as if she were the queen and her mother’s workspace, full pantry, and cooking stove her domain
.

Patty sat on her knees on the kitchen chair and leaned forward, putting her elbows on the table
. “Mem
said we can bake cupcakes if we don’t make a mess.”

Sarah shook her head. “Did not.”

“Did too.”

“But we’re not old enough. I mean, nobody’s home.”

“Are you saying that yer
mem
doesn’t let you bake?” Patty gasped
.

“Well, when she’s home she does.”

“What are you, a
boppli?”
Patty stuck her thumb in her mouth and pretended to suck it
.

Sarah jutted out her chin
. “Ne.”

Patty tossed an apron in her direction. “Then why don’t ya put this on? I’m sure yer
mem
wouldn’t like it if you messed yer clothes up.”

The door opened and then slammed. Heavy footsteps sounded across the living room floor and then tromped up the stairs
.

Sarah jumped. “Who was that?”

“Ach,
my
bruder
Michael. Don’t mind him none. He jest forgot something in his room.”

“Does he always walk like that?”

“Like what?”