The Meridian Gamble (42 page)

I go to him, and cradle his head.
His hair is matted with dirt, blood and sweat.

“Adam? Adam?”

He looks to me with groggy eyes.

“Saga. You live.”

Marion comes in behind me. And I
can tell she is concerned, to see me so upset.

“I remember you now, Saga. I’ve
dreamt of it. You looked like a monster back then,” Adam says, with a weak
laugh.

“And what about now? Do I still
look like a monster?” I say.

But he can’t hear me anymore. He
rolls back his head, groaning in pain from his wounds. Marion comes to the cot,
and sits by my side.

“You knew him?” she says.

“In my first life. The one I barely
remember.”

“Here. This will help him,” she
says.

And she pops out her fangs. Marion
goes to bite Adam on the neck, injecting the venom into his system. And soon,
he is groaning with pleasure, even as he dies. And it never occurred to me that
the bite could be used to grant mercy.

I wonder if this is why Pharaoh
told me to be careful in handing out the transformation. Because now that I’ve
changed Lina, there is nothing I can do for Adam. My love will not let me do
this again. But there is something in the way the Queen watches me that makes
me wonder if there is another way.

“Can we save him?”

“You know how it works. You have
granted Lina our gift. We each get a chance, and if you transform him out of
turn, we will have to destroy him.”

“And who’s turn is it now?”

“It is mine,” Marion says. “Tell
me, do you love him?”

I turn away. And I cannot lie to
her, at least not completely. She is too smart for that.

“What I had for him was little more
than a young girl’s crush. But it’s enough that it hurts me to see him die.”

“I was going to save this gift for
a lover. And he is very handsome. But if he means something to you, I will
change him. You are more than a sister to me. You are a dear friend, Saga.”

She smiles at me.

“Besides, I’ve never been lucky in
love.”

“Take him, he’s yours to enjoy. I
promise I will never interfere. But Pharaoh must not know of this. I cannot
hurt him in that way.”

“He won’t know a thing,” she says,
with a smile. “Besides, it was his idea for us to convert the Luminos. And now
I will have one of my own.”

Marion bites her wrist, and holds
it to his mouth. He lies there like a corpse, as the first few drops touch his
lips, even though I can hear the slow thudding of his heart with my keen
vampire ears.

It’s several minutes before his
head begins to move about, and Marion patiently bites her wrist once more, as
the wound has begun to heal. But eventually, his eyes flutter open, and Adam
looks to us in panic when he realizes what’s going on. Marion holds her arm
against his mouth, forcing him to drink, and he finally succumbs to the power
that flows into him.

And I worry
about what I’ve done, how he’ll react to the mixed blessing I’ve given him.

Weeks later, and we have settled
into this new kingdom. We now live in the palace that Adam once dwelled in
during his human existence. And in the morning hours, just before sunrise,
Marion and I sneak away, and she tells me of their new life together.

She has known him too, apparently.
They have danced a dance of animosity over lifetimes. It seems she met Adam
over several of his existences, and the two have come to blows. She has even
made love with him before, and taken pity on Adam, if it can be called pity to
kill someone rather than torturing them for days.

And now they relish being on the
same side.

“This doesn’t hurt you to hear,
does it, Saga?”

“No, Marion. Of course, not,” I
say, lying.

But it is better this way. It seems
that theirs is the true love. And at least he is alive, and my guilt is
assuaged, to a degree.

Adam has adjusted well to his new
vampire life, as if he was meant to be one of the monsters. He requires
constant blood to survive, as I still do, but it is a time of war, and that’s
easy enough to find through the prisoners we’ve captured. And when he’s not
helping us to hunt down the remaining enemies in his land, he’s constantly
making love with Marion.

Yet, Adam won’t look at me. He
hates me, somehow. Which is fine. I would rather not talk to him, and stir up
old feelings. But I worry that Pharaoh suspects there is something between us.

Adam’s being with us has helped to
calm the people. They are convinced their old prince has joined forces with the
invaders, to bring peace. Which is true, in a sense, though the remaining
Luminos forces know better. And the people are confused that their royal son
can only come out at night.

After a few weeks in the new
palace, it is decided that Marion and Adam will stay here to rule this land,
while Pharaoh and I go back to our own kingdom. And I am happy at the thought
of leaving this place. I find it unnerving, to be in a land where so many of
our enemies could still be hidden.

I am excited on the day before we
are finally to leave, but while Pharaoh is out surveying the land, I hear
something in my mind, as I lounge in my room in the foreign palace.

“Saga …”

Adam is using his new mental gifts
to call out to me. I walk out into the corridor to find him, and am surprised,
as he pushes me up against a wall. And again, I see a look of hatred on his
face.

I’m afraid he’s going to kill me.

“You are a traitor to your own
kind,” he hisses.

“Hardly,” I say. “My own kind did
nothing for me, save send me off to die. It would seem that you are the one who
is the traitor.”

And he stares me down, with a cruel
expression.

“Perhaps I’ll learn all their
secrets and use my knowledge against them. Tell me, will you run and tell your
precious Pharaoh that?”

“No, because you won’t do any such
thing. You’re lying.”

And Adam looks away.

“I thought I might at first. But
the Luminos life is madness, to come back time and again, to struggle to
remember. To spend your every waking moment training to fight in a war you’ll
never win. This is what it means to be truly eternal. And the vampires will win
this war, not the Luminos.”

“Then you should be grateful for
the gift you’ve been given,” I say. Though I’m almost sad he’s accepted this
fate.

“No, I will never be truly happy. I
will never get over my guilt. You should have let me die. You should have
killed me, before the Queen could do this to me.”

“I could hardly stop her. The Queen
is far stronger than I. She does as she pleases.”

“Stop lying. I’m not stupid. I was
there, though barely. I heard you ask her to do this.”

“And what exactly did you hear?”

“Just that, you asking her to
change me. I remember little else.”

I look away, and it kills me to do
it, but I have to lie. Adam must never know the truth, for both our sakes. And
I look back to him, with a wicked smile.

“Well, I could hardly be the only
one. The Luminos will want to kill me, now that I’ve betrayed them. I need
someone who knows all their secrets to help us destroy them, to keep me alive.
And besides, you’re a dull boy. You’re sure to get yourself killed soon enough,
which will help me all the more. I’ll need to know if I can still come back,
after the change.”

Adam puts his face near mine and
hisses, full of disgust.

“You’ve done me a favor with your
stupid games, little girl. And now I owe you one in return.”

He backs away, but the shock of the
truth destroys me. Adam hates me. It takes a moment for it to sink in. This is
the last thing I wanted, and perhaps he’s right. I should have just let him
die. But maybe it’s better this way. It will be easier to push my feelings
aside, and go back with Pharaoh, to be happy.

Before I can ponder these thoughts
for too long, we hear a scream. Marion is alone in the throne room, and Adam
and I go running down the hall. We enter it, to find her fighting with several
assassins who’ve climbed through a window, protecting herself with a sword.
Thankfully, the sun is setting outside, and our strength returns. Adam rushes
to pull one off of her. And I take out the dagger that he gave me from beneath
my dress, the one I continue to carry. I throw it into the back of one of the
assassins.

We’re too much for them. I find a
polearm, and attack them from behind, and with my distraction, Marion quickly
downs her foes. Adam viciously beheads the other. But it all happens so fast.
Another one comes through the window, and leaps at Marion with raised sword. I
stand in the way, which somehow gives her the time to rush him and snap the
man’s neck.

And then I’m on the floor. I look
up, feeling the most intense pain imaginable through my heart. It takes me a
moment to realize he’s run me through. Adam and Marion are staring down at me,
looking at me with concern, and it’s all so strange.

I was strong, I was to be immortal
in my new vampire life. But it was a lie. And now, I feel so weak.

They’re saying something, telling
me to be strong, that I’ll survive. But over their shoulders, I see something
else. An image of a girl, dressed in white, with long brown hair. She floats
over them, like an angel. And she’s in a strange place that I’ve never seen
before, one that I know is in the future.

She has a strange name, Caroline.
It comes to me in a whisper.

And I look to Adam, not Marion.

“I’ll see you in another life,” I
say.

I was wrong. I realize it is I, not
Adam, who will find out first if the Luminos can come back after living a
vampire life. And I hope that it’s true, as everything around me begins to fade
away. Because I would like to see him again.

But for now, I’m gone, as I rush
down a tunnel of white light.

I wake up with a gasp and look
about my room, relieved that I’m still breathing, that I am still alive. It’s a
shock to feel yourself being stabbed through the heart, to say the least. And
I’m a bit confused, because a part of me still feels like I’m Saga, that I
should be in a sandy temple in Egypt, drinking blood to survive.

I can still taste her hunger for
it.

And I recall staring at the
unnerving image of myself, looking back at her as she died. I wonder if I will
see a future version of myself some day that will signal my own death, or if I
will live forever, because I allow Roland to change me.

There’s almost too much information
filling up my head, but what my mind keeps returning to is the knowledge that
Adam is the one I’m in love with, not Roland. And that he was one of the
Luminos. I almost feel he was the reason that Saga came back from wherever it
is that they go, to find him again. And I wonder if I’ve also returned for him
once more.

It feels like a betrayal, but I
want to see Adam even more than Roland, to better understand my feelings.

I hear a knock at the door of my
room, and Mother peeks her head in. It’s still daylight outside, and I wonder
how long I’ve been asleep.

“Caroline, may I come in?”

“Please.”

She approaches the side of my bed,
and sits, gently.

Mother looks beautiful, like an
angel, and I feel bad for a moment, to have invited monsters into her life.
Though technically, she is the one who invited them into my life by arranging
my marriage, but at least she had no knowledge of what they truly were. And I
shudder to imagine what she would think of Roland and Marion if she knew the
truth about them. But that is a secret I must keep from her forever.

She brushes my hair to the side
with her hand, and smiles at me, gently.

“You have been asleep for a very
long time.”

“For how long?” I say, in alarm.

“For almost a day.”

And my head spins. That I could
absorb it all in a such a short time, so much of Saga’s existence … it’s
mind-boggling.

“We were worried about you, we
could not rouse you. The doctor was called, but he said we should let you rest.
That perhaps it was exhaustion, from the excitement of your upcoming nuptials.”

“Whatever it is, I feel much better
now. Completely refreshed,” I say, trying to appease her worried mind. “Sleep
is exactly what I needed.”

“Roland has sent a card. He would
like to see you today. I was going to send him a reply, saying it might be best
to postpone his visit.”

“No, please don’t. I would most
like to see Roland again, as soon as possible.”

A pang of excitement rushes through
me which must be an effect of the venom he put in my system. I now know what
Mar Mar must have felt, to be under their irresistible spell. But resist it, I
will. I have to remind myself that I am not excited to see Roland, that I wish
to confront him.

My anger helps to push any romantic
feelings away.

“Are you sure that it’s wise that
he visits?”

“Yes, I am. In fact, as soon as
I’ve had a bowl of Cook’s wonderful oatmeal, I am certain I will be quite myself
again.”

“All right,” Mother says, with an
unsure smile.

I manage to dress myself, and go
downstairs to breakfast, which Cook brings to the table for me, despite the
fact that I have missed the early-morning meal with the rest of my family. And
she must feel sorry for me, because she barely scowls as she sets down my
plate, and spares me the wretched oatmeal that I, in fact, despise.

And shortly after I finish, Roland
sends a card with his response, saying he will visit us at noon.

After my meal, I go back upstairs
to rest, and better recover from my ordeal of the past night. I need as much
time as possible to gather my thoughts. And before the appointed midday hour, I
am in front of my dresser mirror, preparing to see my fiancée.