The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (3 page)

Obviously, orgasm is much more than these rather mechanical physiological changes. It is the peak experience of sex for most people, and it is one of the most intense and pleasurable parts of being human. If you have ever had an orgasm, and almost all men have, you know exactly what we are describing. Ejaculation, however, is simply a reflex that occurs at the base of the spine and results in the ejection of semen. It is, in short, simply an involuntary

muscle spasm.

Granted, it is a pleasurable muscle spasm, but it is a muscle spasm nonetheless. Since so many men have learned to connect all the pleasure of orgasm with ejaculation, it is important to understand that most of the light-ning and thunder that you associate with ejaculation is really what occurs with orgasm—with or without ejaculation.

*In this chapter, we briefly summarize the information presented in our first book. For a longer and more detailed discussion of male multiple orgasms, please see the first three chapters of
The Multi-Orgasmic Man.

In a moment we will review the scientific evidence that shows that men can have multiple orgasms, but it may be easier to begin with your own experience. In fact, you may have experienced multiple orgasms at some time in your life. Many men experience them before they enter adolescence and begin to ejaculate.

As you may remember, boys only start to produce sperm (and therefore the ability to ejaculate) once they enter adolescence, usually around the age of thirteen. However, most boys masturbate before they reach this age. During this time, they experience orgasm without ejaculating.

Many boys continue to masturbate after one orgasm, and since they do not ejaculate they maintain their erection. Alfred Kinsey, the pioneering sex researcher, in his famous book
Sexual Behavior in the Human Male
reported that half of all preadolescent boys (around twelve or younger) were able to experience two orgasms in a row, and almost a third were able to experience five or more one after the other. He concluded that “climax is clearly possible without ejaculation.”
2

Multiple orgasms, however, are not simply child’s play or one of the lost pleasures of youth. Kinsey studied older men as well and concluded, “Orgasm may occur without the emission of semen. ... These males experience real orgasm which they have no difficulty in recognizing, even if it is without ejaculation.”
3
Dr. Herant Katchadourian, professor of human sexuality at Stanford University and the author of the standard textbook
Fundamentals of Human Sexuality,
explains, “Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen [avoid ejaculating] while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words they have non-ejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period [loss of erection], thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women.”
4

There have long been anecdotal studies of men who claim to have multiple orgasms, but the first laboratory study of male multiple orgasms was conducted by sex researchers William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian. They tested thirty-three multi-orgasmic men—men who could have two or more orgasms without losing their erection.

While the men had sex with their partners, Hartman and Fithian monitored their heart rate, which rises from around 70 beats per minute during rest to 120 beats per minute during orgasm (
see chart on p. 6
). They also measured their pelvic contractions (which could be monitored through the involuntary squeezing of the anus that accompanies orgasm). They found that the arousal charts for multi-orgasmic men were exactly the same as for multi-orgasmic women.

Half of all preadolescent boys were able to experience two orgasms in a row, and almost a third were able to experience five or more one after the other.

Arousal chart for multi-orgasmic man

HEARTBEATS PER MINUTE

180

120

1 MINUTE

1 MINUTE 1 MINUTE 1 MINUTE

! ! !

60

! = PEAK OF ORGASM

In one study, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was four. Some had the minimum of two, and one had sixteen.

In Hartman and Fithian’s study, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was four. Some had the minimum of two, and one had sixteen. In another study, by sex researchers Marion Dunn and Jan Trost, most men reported having between two and nine orgasms before losing their erection.
5

In their famous book,
The G-Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality,
Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry argued that male and female sexuality were much more similar than we tend to think. In addition to their discovery of the G spot, they also reported that men could have multiple orgasms like women. We tend to think that male sexuality is simple and identical from one man to the next, while female sexuality is complex and differs dramatically from one woman to the next. The truth is that ejaculation is simple, as are all bodily reflexes (think of hitting your funny bone), but orgasm, which involves our most sophisticated sexual organ, the brain, is quite complex and variable depending on the person, the sexual experience, and even the individual orgasm.

So, if men can have multiple orgasms like women and half of all boys experience multiple orgasms before adolescence, what happens that makes them lose this ability?

Apparently, most men lose the ability to have multiple orgasms when they start ejaculating in adolescence. Orgasm and ejaculation take place within seconds of each other and for most men become one and the same. In the next section, you will learn (or possibly relearn) how to separate the two once again. This will allow you to experience the crescendo of orgasm many times before or even without the crash of ejaculation.

Understanding Your Orgasm

Now that you understand the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, it is important to understand the nature of male orgasms and how multiple (non-ejaculatory) orgasms differ from the old-fashioned (ejaculatory) ones.

Multiple orgasms begin like any others: you start by getting aroused until you feel close to the point of ejaculating. As you learn in the following sections to increase your awareness of your arousal, you will be able to stop the stimulation just before the “point of no return,” after which you would ejaculate. Just before this point, you will experience a series of contractions in your genitals lasting three to five seconds. These pleasurable pelvic orgasms at first may feel like a fluttering or a rather mild release of pressure. These are called “contractile-phase” orgasms, and in time as you learn to play with the edge they can be just as intense as the ejaculatory orgasms you are accustomed to. Don’t get discouraged if they are rather tame at first. Once you are able to identify and separate these orgasmic contractions from ejaculation, you will be able to multiply and intensify them.

This contractile-phase orgasm is the moment of truth: instead of continuing on to ejaculation, you will stop or decrease your stimulation long enough to regain control of your arousal rate. You can also squeeze your
PC
muscle, which we will describe below, which will help you maintain some control if you feel like you are about to ejaculate.

With multiple orgasms, instead of cresting over into ejaculation, you will then decrease your arousal slightly and prepare for another orgasm. With multiple orgasms, your arousal is like a wave that instead of cresting is swept up by a larger wave that takes it even higher. Some multi-orgasmic men describe falling back into their orgasm rather than falling forward into ejaculation. These are simply metaphors that may help you as you discover your own orgasmic process.

It is important to remember not to strive too hard to experience these contractile-phase orgasms. Most men find they must stop themselves just before ejaculating and
relax
into orgasm. It is not easy for many men to switch their focus from the goal of getting off, but multiple orgasms allow you to experience an orgasmic process that is far more satisfying for you and your partner.

In the following section, we will show you how to strengthen your
PC
muscle and how to develop your sexual sensitivity so you can multiply and intensify your own unique orgasmic potential.

Multiplying Your Orgasm

In this book we discuss two ways to intensify your sexual pleasure. The first is by
multiplying
your orgasms (having two, three, four, or more without los-ing your erection), and the second is by
expanding
your orgasm throughout your body, which we will discuss in chapter 3. In learning to multiply your orgasms, you need to develop both your
sexual strength
and your
sexual sensitivity.
Let’s look at sexual strength first.

You will use your
PC
muscle to literally put on the brakes when you feel that you are getting too close to ejaculating.

DEVELOPING YOUR SEXUAL STRENGTH

Many men spend years strengthening their biceps and quads and other muscles to look strong, but there is one unseen muscle that will help them far more in bed than any other. This “sex muscle” is actually the pubococcygeus, or
PC
, muscle. This group of muscles runs from your pubic bone (“pubo”) in the front of your body to the tailbone, or coccyx (“coccygeus”), in the back (
see illustration on p. 9
).

These muscles are essential for your sexual health. Two or three inches of your penis are rooted in this
PC
muscle, and strengthening this muscle leads to stronger erections, stronger orgasms, and better ejaculatory control. This last benefit is why the
PC
muscle is essential to becoming multi-orgasmic. In short, you will use the
PC
muscle to literally put on the brakes when you feel that you are getting close to ejaculating.

The easiest place to feel your
PC
muscle is behind your testicles and in front of your anus at your perineum. You are already well acquainted with your
PC
muscle, although you may not know its name. The
PC
muscle is the same muscle that you use to stop yourself from urinating or to push out the last few drops of urine.

Most important for multiple orgasms, the
PC
muscle is also what causes the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm. These pelvic contractions, the Taoists discovered, involved a man’s prostate gland. By learning to contract your
PC
muscle around your prostate, you can learn to stop yourself from ejaculating and can deepen your orgasmic contractions. When you contract on the prostate, you feel a shaking or chill through your body. In the next section you are going to learn a simple exercise that will allow you to stop the stream of urine and strengthen your
PC
muscle.

BLADDER

PROSTATE GLAND

SACRUM

PUBIC BONE