The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (4 page)

RECTUM

PC MUSCLE

ANAL SPHINCTER MUSCLE

MILLION DOLLAR POINT

PERINEUM TESTICLE ROOT

OF PENIS

Man’s Sexual Anatomy—the
PC
muscle, which is important for becoming multi-orgasmic, extends

from the pubic bone to the tailbone.

TESTICLE

ANUS

PC MUSCLE

Another view of the
PC
muscle (actually a group of muscles)

The most important part of the practice is simply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

STOPPING THE STREAM

The simplest way to find and strengthen your
PC
muscle is to squeeze these muscles in your pelvis the next time you are going to the bathroom. You can practice this while standing up or sitting down. If you have a relatively strong
PC
muscle, you should be able to stop and start the flow of urine midstream. If this is difficult, your
PC
muscle is weak. It may sting a little at first when you stop the flow of urine. This is completely normal and should stop within a few weeks. If it continues you may have an infection, in which case you should see a doctor and clear up the infection before continuing with this and other practices in the book. As with any other muscle that you begin to strengthen, the
PC
muscle may be a little sore at first. As with all exercises, begin gradually.

Exer cise 1

STOPPING THE STREAM

1. INHALE: As you get ready to urinate, inhale deeply.
   

2. EXHALE AND PUSH OUT: Exhale slowly and forcefully push out the urine. (Clenching your teeth will intensify the practice.)
   

3. INHALE AND CONTRACT YOUR PC: Inhale and contract your
   PC
   muscle to stop the
   fl
   ow of urine midstream.
   

4. EXHALE AND PUSH OUT AGAIN: Exhale and start urinating again.
   

5. REPEAT UNTIL FINISHED: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (urinating as you exhale and stopping the stream as you inhale) three to six times or until you have
   fi
   nished going to the bathroom.
   

To begin, push out your urine as if you are in a hurry and trying to finish as quickly as you can. Standing on your toes and clenching your teeth will also intensify your practice, but the most important part of the practice is sim-ply to start and stop urinating as many times as possible.

In
The Multi-Orgasmic Man,
we teach men other exercises for strengthening their
PC
muscle, which may be helpful. All
PC
exercises, however, are based on the simple practice of contracting and releasing your
PC
muscle. Unlike other kinds of weight lifting, these exercises can be done while you are driving, watching television, and even attending business meetings.

Finding the W ay

Emptying Your Bladder

You should always urinate before self-pleasuring or lovemaking whenever your bladder is full. A full bladder will make you feel like you need to ejaculate and can actually make it more difficult to keep from ejaculating.

DEVELOPING YOUR SEXUAL SENSITIVITY

Sexual strength is only half of the practice. Sexual sensitivity is equally if not more important. By sensitivity, we mean sensitivity not to your partner’s sexual arousal, which we will discuss in a later chapter, but to your own. Becoming multi-orgasmic, like becoming a skillful lover, requires that you discover and learn to master your own arousal.

Unlike the old clichéd techniques of trying to delay ejaculation by desen-sitizing yourself or distracting yourself with baseball trivia, becoming multi-orgasmic actually requires that you increase your sexual sensitivity and focus more directly on your sexual arousal.

SEXUAL AROUSAL AND SEXUAL ENERGY

Although sexual arousal is a frequent and significant part of our lives, most of us have little understanding of this process. We call this arousal “getting horny” and snicker as if it were some illicit or juvenile experience. In fact, this arousal is the expansion of our sexual energy, and it is essential to our life and health. According to the Tao, each of us needs to feel aroused—to feel our life-giving sexual energy—every day because when we become aroused, our body produces more sexual hormones.

For Taoism and recently for endocrinology, a branch of Western medicine, sexual hormones are important for our overall health; indeed, some might call them the very fountain of youth. (We discuss this in greater depth in chapter 5, “Sexual Healing.”) The reason sex sells is that we are drawn to images that stimulate our sexual energy and sexual hormones. It is extremely liberating for multi-orgasmic men to realize that they have access to this rejuvenating sexual energy all day every day.

Once we learn to circulate our sexual energy, as we explain in chapter 3, we no longer have to wait for sexual encounters to have access to it. In addition, we will discover that we can have far greater control over our arousal

Becoming multi-orgasmic, like becoming a skillful lover, requires that you discover and learn to master your own arousal.

According to the Tao, each of us needs to feel aroused
—
to feel our life-giving sexual energy
—
every day because when we become aroused, our bodies produce more sexual hormones.

Men discover a whole new sense of freedom to feel sexual energy only when and where they want.

and sexual energy. From adolescence or even earlier, most men feel that their sexual desire and arousal are beyond their control and that they are often led around by their penis. Once men learn to become multi-orgasmic and to circulate their sexual energy, they are able to cultivate and transform this sexual energy, giving them a whole new sense of freedom to feel sexual energy only when and where they want.

In chapter 3, you will learn how to circulate this sexual energy throughout your body. But first, you need to learn how to become aware of the subtleties of your expanding sexual energy (that is, your arousal rate) and how to control it. When you are able to control your arousal rate, you will easily be able to have multiple orgasms without cresting over into ejaculation. In the previous section, you learned how to apply the brakes using your
PC
muscle. Now you need to learn how to gauge the speed of your engine so you know when to put on the brakes.

THE STAGES OF AROUSAL

Most men assume that they are either aroused or not aroused. Either they have an erection or they don’t, but in fact there are several different stages of arousal and erection that are important to know. Just as you would want to know the gears of your car, it will help you to know the “gears” of your arousal. Your breathing and heart rate are important signs of your arousal— both will speed up as you get aroused—but the most obvious sign of your arousal is the sexual gauge between your legs: your erection.

The Taoists identified four different stages of erection, which they called the four
attainments:

1. Lengthening
   

2. Swelling
   

3. Hardening
   

4. Heat
   

In the first stage, the penis starts to elongate, but it has not begun to rise. In the second stage, it starts to widen and rise, but it is not yet hard. (At this stage, it is really not hard enough to enter your partner unless you use the Soft Entry technique we discuss in chapter 8.) In the third stage, the penis becomes erect and hard, but it is not yet hot. In the fourth and final stage, the penis is stiff and hot. It is at this stage that the testicles draw close to the body

and prepare to ejaculate. Relaxing your breathing and drawing your sexual energy up and away from your penis (see chapter 3) will help you to remain in the third stage and the beginning fourth stage without crossing the ejaculatory edge at the end of the fourth stage.

CONTROLLING YOUR AROUSAL RATE

The first step in controlling your arousal rate and learning to become multi-orgasmic is learning to control your breathing. Breathing is the basis for all martial arts and meditative practices, and Sexual Kung Fu is no exception. Your breathing is directly connected to your heart rate. If you are breathing quickly, as after exercising or when hyperventilating, your heart rate increases. When you breathe slowly and deeply, your heart rate decreases. As we discussed above, increased heart rate is one part of orgasm, and breathing quickly signals its approach. By learning to slow down and deepen your breathing, you will learn to control your arousal rate and to revel in orgasms without rushing over into ejaculation.

DEEP BREATHING

Deep breathing, or “belly” breathing, is essential to our overall health as well as to our sexual control. Breathing is how our body takes in life-giving oxygen and expels carbon dioxide, the body’s waste. Because of stress, however, most of us breathe shallowly, inhaling very little oxygen and exhaling very little carbon dioxide. Deep breathing, or belly breathing, is how you breathed when you were young, before stress started to cut your breath short. The Taoists knew that if one wants to stay young, one must imitate children, and breathing is no exception. In the following exercise you will learn to breathe deeply once again, but this time the benefit will be not only better health but also greater pleasure.

When you are close to ejaculating, the ability to breathe deeply and to slow down your heart rate will be essential. Even once you have learned to be multi-orgasmic, don’t forget to still breathe deeply. Deep breathing will help you to circulate your sexual energy throughout your body, which will expand your orgasms and reduce any pressure that you experience when you delay or avoid ejaculating.

By learning to slow down and deepen your breathing, you will learn to control your arousal rate and to revel in orgasms without rushing over into ejaculation.