The No-cry Sleep Solution (74 page)

Here’s an important point to bear in mind. Sometimes, people who have been sleep deprived for any length of time actually feel
more
tired when they first begin to make changes to improve their sleep rhythms. The good news is that this is short-lived, and as soon as you adjust to your improved sleep, you will feel better emotionally and physically.

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Review the following ideas, check off the ones that appeal to you, and create your
own
sleep plan. Soon, you’ll be sleeping—

like a baby (a baby who
doesn’t
wake up every two hours).

Stop Worrying About Sleep

It’s fantastic that your baby is sleeping better now. That was the goal when you bought this book and you’ve already had your success. It’s just a matter of time before you are sleeping better, as well—once you’re accustomed to your baby’s new routine and sure that he is, too. The cruel irony is that lying in bed worrying because you can’t fall or stay asleep will just keep you awake! So, relax. Follow these suggestions and sleep will come.

Turn your clock away from your bed, and don’t agonize over whether you are sleeping or not. You can’t force yourself to sleep by fretting about it. The best you can do is to establish good sleeping habits and follow them nightly.

As a busy parent, you may be compounding your problem by worrying that your sleep time is taking up productive time that could be spent doing other things. You either get yourself to bed much too late, or lie in bed and feel guilty about it, thinking about all those other things you “should” be doing. Give yourself permission to sleep. It’s necessary for your body, important for your health, and good for your soul. Remember that your baby will benefit if you are well rested, too, because you’ll be a happier Mommy (or Daddy). And if you’re breastfeeding or pregnant your improved sleep will be beneficial to both you and your baby.

Pay Off Your Sleep Debt

When we don’t get enough sleep, we create a sleep debt that mounts further with each additional sleepless night. If you are still feeling sleep-deprived, try to gather as many additional sleep

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minutes as you can. Set aside two weeks to squeeze in some extra sleep. Make it a priority. Go to bed early whenever possible, take a nap when you can, sleep a few minutes later. Even an extra hour of sleep will help you to pay off at least a portion of your sleep debt. You’ll feel much better and can move on to establishing a healthy sleep routine.

If you simply cannot find any time for extra sleep, then bypass this idea and work on developing a healthy sleep routine. You may find that it will take a month or so for your sleep debt to dis-sipate and your new sleep program to work, but it will. Once you’ve developed your own plan, you’ll find that sleep will no longer be on your list of things to think about. It will instead be just a simple, natural part of your life, the way it is for your baby.

Set Your Body Clock

Your body has what amounts to an internal alarm clock that can be set for sleep time and awake time. The consistency of your sleep schedule sets this clock and makes it work for you. If your bedtime and awake time are different every day, the effectiveness of this amazing gift of nature is undermined; your clock is out of sync. You’ll find yourself tired or alert at inappropriate times, sometimes feeling as if you could fall asleep standing up during the day, but then lying wide awake in bed at night.

This explains why many people have trouble waking up on Monday morning. If you have a specific wake and sleep time during the week, you probably find that by Friday morning you are waking up just before your alarm goes off, and on Friday night it’s an effort to stay awake during the late-night movie. Come Monday morning, you’re groggy and exhausted when your morning alarm goes off. What has happened is that by the end of the week your biological clock has taken control because of your consistent wake-sleep schedule during the week. But come the week-

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end, we push our bedtimes later, and, if we’re lucky enough to manage it, we sleep late in the morning as well. This effectively cancels the setting on our clocks, and by Monday we have to start all over again.

This imbalance is an easy one to fix—and a solid, consistent sleep plan is the handy tool that will do the trick. Choose a specific bedtime and time to wake up; stick to it as closely as possible, seven days a week. Obviously, your busy life will alter this routine sometimes. You can deviate from your plan once in a while without doing too much to upset things. But on the whole, if you adhere to your schedule as consistently as possible, your sleep will be more refreshing, and you’ll be more energetic and alert. Your body clock will function as it should, allowing you to tick through your day productively and wind down at night calmly.

Naturally, a few lucky people can function perfectly with a varying sleep schedule, but they’re the exception. Most people are helped immensely by this simple, effective suggestion.

Get Organized

When your days are hectic and disorganized, your stress level increases; the natural physiological and emotional responses to this stress hamper your ability to sleep. So we can attack this kind of sleeplessness by getting at the root of it—becoming more organized and purposeful during the day.

A formal daily to-do list or calendar can help you feel more in control of your days. With the myriad critical details of each day written down, you’ll be able to relax somewhat. Think of it as moving all the dates and times and tasks out of your head and onto paper, freeing up a little breathing room upstairs. And late at night you won’t wonder, “What do I need to do? What did I forget?” It’s all right there in your lists and on your calendar. Keep

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a pad and a pencil near your bed in case an important idea or task
does
pop into your mind as you’re trying to drift off. Write it down—then
let it go for now
.

Avoid Caffeine Late in the Day

Here’s an interesting tidbit. Caffeine stays in your bloodstream between six and fourteen hours! The caffeine in that after-dinner cup of coffee is still hanging around in your system at midnight and beyond. Caffeine contains a chemical that causes hyperactivity and wakefulness, which is why many people find their morning coffee so stimulating. Tolerance levels for caffeine vary; so you’ll need to experiment and find out how much you can drink and how late you can drink it without disrupting your sleep.

If you are a nursing mother, watch your baby carefully to see if she too is being affected by caffeine. While no study has proved the connection between caffeine and a baby’s sleeplessness, we do know that diet affects the quality, quantity, and palatability of breast milk, so a connection is not exactly farfetched. (Many a breastfeeding mother has reported a perceived effect of caffeine on her baby, so it’s worth taking a look at your own situation.) Keep in mind that caffeine is an ingredient in more than just coffee. Tea (green as well as black), cola, some other soft drinks (even root beer and orange; check the labels), chocolate, even some over-the-counter painkillers contain it, although in smaller amounts.

Better choices for prebed drinks are warm milk or herbal teas that will bring on the relaxed state needed for sleep.

Watch Out for the Effects of Drugs and Alcohol

If you are taking any medication, ask your doctor or pharmacist if it has any side effects. We often are aware of what medications

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make us drowsy, but we don’t realize that some have the opposite effect—acting as a stimulant.

Likewise, an evening glass or two of wine or beer usually won’t affect sleep and might bring it on. But more than that can have a rebound effect, causing an episode of insomnia a few hours later, in the middle of the night. Alcohol can also disturb the
quality
of your sleep, making it shallow and disrupting normal dream cycles.

Make Exercise a Part of Your Day

There are many benefits to fitting regular exercise into your day, and improved sleep is at the top of the list. Many studies (not to mention common, everyday experience) have shown that moderate, regular exercise reduces insomnia and improves the quality of sleep.

The key to using exercise to improve sleep is to maintain a regular pattern: thirty to forty-five minutes of moderate aerobic exercise, three to four times a week. For best results, make sure you complete your exercise at least three hours before bedtime; exercise leaves most people too energized for sleep right after.

(Once again, there are exceptions. Some people find that stren-uous exercise helps them fall asleep quickly soon afterward.

Experiment to learn if this applies to you.)

You might think your baby precludes your ability to get out and exercise. On the contrary! Your baby gives you the perfect excuse for a daily walk behind the stroller. If winter weather gets in your way, head for an indoor shopping mall with room to roam. This may not work for you every day, and you may have to leave your wallet at home, but many parents find it an effective way to squeeze in a walk. Plus, most babies love it and benefit from the stimulation (which may in fact help baby sleep, too).