The No-cry Sleep Solution (78 page)

Baseball Babies

My three older children all play baseball, so Coleton and I spend much of our springtime at the ballpark. His first baseball season he was five months old. Since I was a coach on my daughter’s team, Coleton spent his time in the dugout and on the field nestled in his sling, watching the action and listening to the cheers, chants, and noise of the play. Between swings at bat the girls would often pass him around from one to the other, entertaining him and trying to make him giggle. That same season I met another mother with a baby boy the same age as Coleton. She always arrived with her little son belted into his car seat–stroller travel system. There he would remain, parked at the edge of the bleachers. His reclining position in the seat gave him a view of the sky and trees. When he fussed, his mother would prop a bot-

Final Thoughts: Mom-to-Mom

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tle in his seat, and he would drink until he fell asleep. As I chatted with this other mother, as baseball moms do, I discovered the difference extended beyond the field. While Coleton’s nights were spent sleeping with his Mommy by his side, nursing whenever he felt the need for comfort, the other mother was practic-ing sleep training—putting her baby in his crib at bedtime and ignoring his cries until the appropriate morning hour, “teaching”

him to “self soothe” himself to sleep.

Both Coleton and this other baby were quiet babies. Rarely would you hear either one of them cry. But, as I contemplated the lives of these children, I wondered how their early experiences would color their futures. Coleton’s early life was filled with people—their warm arms, happy faces, cuddles, and touches. He was always in the middle of life, not only enjoying his own experiences but also observing the experiences of others. His nights were no different than his days: someone was always there to heed his call. This other baby’s early months were spent strapped in his stroller, hearing people, but from an uninvolved distance except for the occasional visitor who leaned over his seat. His nights were vast hours of loneliness, his cries ignored.

Coleton’s early life was filled with the golden communication of humanity, where he will most likely search to be as he grows.

The other baby was shown independence and aloneness during the first part of his life. Yes, they both may have been content babies, but content with entirely different worlds—one that was people-centered and one revolving around separateness from people. I find myself wondering: how will these early experiences color the men these babies will become? As you move through these early months with
your
baby, take the time to consider how today’s actions will affect your child in the long run. This process will help you toss off unhelpful advice as you work through your own sleep solutions.

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Patience, Patience, and Just a Little

More Patience

Take a deep breath and repeat after me, “This too shall pass.”

You’re in the middle of it all right now, and it’s hard. But in no time at all, your baby will be sleeping, and so will you. And your concerns will turn to the next phase in this magnificent, challenging, and ultimately rewarding experience we call parenthood.

I wish you and your family a lifetime of happiness and love.

For More Information

You can read interviews with many of the original test mommies at the author’s website: www.pantley.com.

To obtain a free catalog of parenting books, videos, audiotapes, and newsletters; or information about lecture services available by Elizabeth Pantley; or to contact the author:

Write to the author at:

5720 127th Avenue NE

Kirkland, WA 98033-8741

E-mail the author at:

[email protected]

Call the toll-free order line:

800-422-5820

Fax your request:

425-828-4833

Visit the website:

pantley.com

Search the Internet for articles by “Elizabeth Pantley”

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Copyright 2002 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click Here for Terms of Use.

Index

Adult comfort during nighttime,

Biology of sleep, newborns, 67–69

85–87

Blankets, 33

Alcohol, effects of, on sleep,

Body clock, mothers, 229–30

231–32

Bottle-feeding

Allergies, 201–2

newborn baby solutions, 86

American Academy of

sleep association, 125

Pediatrics, 29

Breast engorgement, 236–38

AskDrSears.com, xiv

Breastfeeding, 35, 199

Association of SIDS and Infant

daytime, older babies, 98–99

Mortality Programs, 29

newborn baby solutions, 76–78

Asthma, 201–2

sleep association, 124–25

Attachment Parenting
(Granju),

The Breastfeeding Book
(Sears),

6, 131

213

Brief awakenings, 45

Babies

Bumper pads, 36

best bedtime, 105–6

nighttime comfort, 99

Caffeine, 231

readiness for sleep, 96–99

Car seats, 31

sleep cycle, 44–45

Child-care settings, back sleeping

sleeping through night, 180–81

at, 32–33

The Baby Book
(Sears), 44

Cigarette smoke, 199

Baby books for older babies, 151–54

Circadian rhythm, 42

Back sleeping, 29–33

Clothes for sleeping, 33–34

Bed as positive, older babies,

Co-sleeping, 37–40

114–15

newborn baby solutions, 76–78

Bedtime posters, older babies,

Colds, 192

154–57

Colic, 193–96

Bedtime routines

Comforters, 33

changing, older babies, 129–30

Commitment to sleep plan, 184–85

mothers, 234–35

The Continuum Concept

older babies, 100–103

(Liedloff), 10

Biological clock

CPR training, 35

older babies, 101

Cradles, 84

sleep, 42

safety, 35–37

249

Copyright 2002 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click Here for Terms of Use.

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Index