The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) (23 page)

Vance walked toward the kitchen, but stayed on the edge in order to give her plenty of distance. “Apologize for what?”

Her eyes stayed focused on the sauce pan. “For dumping all of that on you when all you wanted to do was crash here for a few days to clear your head.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Vance ran a hand through his hair, trying to put his thoughts into words that didn’t sound idiotic. “What you said about me being worried about you and not ready to go home, that was true, but…I also didn’t want to leave because…I feel better around you too.”

Natalie’s head turned just enough so she could see Vance out of the corner of her eye. “Really?” she whispered.

He smiled. “Really.” Taking a few steps, he moved into the kitchen without crowding her. “I was thinking…you don’t have to go back to work until Monday, right?”

She looked over at him, breath held as she nodded.

“Would you be okay with me staying until then?” He waited, hoping she wouldn’t turn him away. It was fairly obvious that her boss had given her the time off in order to take care of him, so he felt justified in asking it, but he also wanted the time to sort out a few things away from the influence and memory of Stephanie so close and oppressive.

Breathing out slowly, Natalie’s whole body seemed to exhale. “Monday’s fine,” she said quietly.

“Thank you.” Vance attempted to lighten the mood by asking if she needed any help with dinner, but she politely kicked him out of the kitchen. Not long after, she brought two dinner plates to the living room and set them on the coffee table. Vance raised an eye at the plate next to his. Natalie still stood, twisting her hands together as she stared at the empty spot on the couch.

“We can eat at the dining table if that’s easier on you,” Vance offered.

“No, no,” she said nervously. “Watching TV will help. I’ll be fine.”

Vance wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t argue. It took her a few minutes to work up the courage to sit down next to him. Her body remained stiff as she took her first few bites. Trying to ease her tension, Vance picked up the remote and found a sitcom he enjoyed watching. He wasn’t sure if Natalie would like it, but all she cared about was distraction, and he thought the show would fit the bill. He wasn’t sure if it was the show or inoculation to his presence, but after about half an hour, she finally started to relax.

“What do you usually do in the evenings?” Vance asked when they had both finished eating.

For some reason, Natalie blushed. “You’ll think it’s silly.”

“Promise I won’t.”

Natalie’s mouth twisted to one side as she considered his sincerity. She must have come to some sort of decision because she eventually stood and walked over to the TV cabinet. Without giving him any hints, she touched a section of a sleek black box and opened a cabinet door to remove two gaming controllers. She looked embarrassed, but Vance just grinned.

“Video games? That’s what you do in your free time?”

“It relieves a lot of stress.” She shrugged. Vance reached for a controller, which made her smile. “Do you play?”

“I used to,” Vance admitted. “Medical school and all that didn’t leave me much time to play and then work kept me busy, but I used to love playing. I wouldn’t even know what kind of games are out there now.”

His eagerness and excitement helped to dissipate her nerves and she made her way back to the couch. “I was never allowed to play video games growing up, but I’ve heard the newer ones are pretty different from what you used to have.”

Brushing off her warning, Vance said, “Come on, let’s play something. It can’t be that different.”

Natalie laughed, actually laughed, and used her controller to click on the first game in her tray. Vance had to admit the graphics had improved greatly since his days of video game playing, but what really threw him for a loop were all the controls, weapons, need for planning and tactics to survive a fight, and how badly he got trashed by Natalie.

She offered more than once to switch to something a little more his speed, but he was determined and brushed her off every time she offered. It was a hit to his masculinity to be beaten by her so many times, but listening to her laugh and seeing her relax was worth the humiliation. Vance didn’t know how long they played, and since neither of them had to get up early the next morning, they didn’t bother to keep track of the time. It wasn’t until Natalie started yawning that Vance finally admitted to her superior skills and accepted defeat.

“You really didn’t do that bad for a first timer,” she said with the most genuine smile he had ever seen on her face. It struck him again how beautiful she was and he struggled to stay focused.

“I’ve spent way too many years watching the fashion channel in the evenings. This was actually a lot of fun, even if I died a million times.” It was true too. You had to be competitive and slightly obsessive to make it through all the training he had been through, but it felt really good to just cut loose and do something completely for fun.

Natalie smiled. “I’ll get you whipped into shape before you go home. Maybe I’ll even convince you to get your own console and then we could play together in the evenings online.”

The thought of going home still put him on edge, but he knew he’d have to eventually, and spending his evenings with Natalie online, if not in real life, didn’t sound so bad. “Sounds like a trip to an electronics store is in order.”

After shutting down the console, Natalie yawned again. “I didn’t mean to keep you up so late,” she said apologetically.

He brushed off her concern and was about to say he didn’t have anywhere to be in the morning, but that’s when he realized the games being over meant it was time to go to bed. A cold sweat seemed to break out over his entire body. “I really should sleep on the couch,” he said, almost pleading.

Natalie didn’t say anything. Instead, she stood and walked down the hall to her bedroom. The light spilling out of the room welcomed him. She said she wanted him in the same room with her. Maybe hearing even small noises from another room really would keep her up all night. What if that wasn’t the only reason? Vance’s heart started racing. Her reasoning couldn’t have anything to do with a mutual attraction. She’d never given him any signs of that at all. They were just friends.

He told himself that repeatedly as he stood slowly and began walking down the hall. He passed by her bedroom and went to the guest bathroom where he’d left his toothbrush and toothpaste. The entire time he was brushing his teeth, his mind raced. He felt like a teenager asking himself over and over again if Natalie felt anything for him other than friendship. With her fears, it shouldn’t have mattered to him one way or another, but it did. It mattered because if he knew for sure that she felt something for him, not touching her would become about a million times more difficult.

When he finally made it to the bedroom, Natalie was waiting for him. Standing at the end of the bed with a pillow clutched to her chest, she was biting her lip again. Her eyes darted between him and the bed, and part of Vance hoped she’d changed her mind and was just trying to find a nice way to tell him. “Is there a side you prefer?” Natalie asked. “I’ve never…uh, had to worry about that before.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Vance choked out.

Natalie nodded and went to the side closest to the door. She was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, but she had taken her hair down from her ponytail, which she rarely did, and the casual look was killing Vance. Stephanie was always made up, and she was beautiful to him no matter what, but he’d always loved it when she went for a more casual look. The effect was just as distracting from Natalie.

“I don’t think I can do this.” It burst out of Vance’s mouth when he simply couldn’t contain it anymore.

Natalie looked over at him in surprise halfway through turning down the blankets. She straightened and let her arms fall to her sides. “You don’t have to,” she said quietly.

“But you want me to?”

She nodded.

He wanted to as well, but he didn’t know if he could keep his promises to her. “Stephanie, she…she liked to cuddle. I, uh, it’s what I’m used to. I mean, I might…in my sleep, I might touch you.”

Natalie frowned, but it was faint. “I usually have nightmares at night,” she said. “Every night, actually. Not just at night. Any time I go to sleep.” She stopped looking down and met his eyes. “Earlier today, when we fell asleep, I didn’t have nightmares and I didn’t wake up scared.”

“I…” Vance had no idea what to say to that, or even what it meant. His original concerns were still chewing at him.

“If you touch me while we’re asleep…I think I’ll be okay,” she said thoughtfully. “If I wake up like that, I may push you away and be a little freaked out, but I won’t be mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Vance shook his head. “I don’t care if you’re mad at me. I’m worried about hurting you…like last time.”

“It wouldn’t be like last time,” Natalie promised.

The firmness in her voice put the argument to rest. Vance still didn’t believe her and was terrified of waking up with her in his arms only to have her wake up and panic. She was determined to try, though, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell her no. Rather than argue, he grabbed his pajamas out of the bag and disappeared back to the bathroom to change.

He had been hoping she’d be asleep by the time he came back, but Natalie was still wide awake. She was turned away from him as he lay down on the bed. That was good. Lying flat on his back, he stared at the ceiling and willed himself to fall into a deep sleep and not move a single inch.

Despite his own reservations about the arrangement, his presence didn’t seem to affect Natalie’s ability to fall asleep. Or Gypsy’s, who was snoring softly next to the bed. Within ten minutes, Natalie’s breathing had deepened and evened out as she slept. Vance thought perhaps he could fall asleep then, but it wasn’t that easy. Not even close.

Shortly after falling asleep, Natalie rolled, putting her face to face with him, though she never woke up. He froze. A few minutes later, she shifted again and one arm stretched out with her hand landing on his chest. He nearly jumped out of the bed in fright, thinking she’d wake up and have a meltdown, but nothing happened. Natalie continued to sleep, shifting and moving every once in a while.

More than once she ended up in direct contact with him, but she never woke up. After a good hour or so, Vance calmed down and stopped expecting her to freak out on him. That helped inch his adrenaline down to where he might actually be able to sleep, but then he realized Natalie’s constant moving was going to keep him up all night. He considered just slipping out of bed and heading to the couch for his own sake.

Natalie shifted again, her face landing on his shoulder. One side was squished, making her lips pout. He almost laughed as he moved her just enough that her face wasn’t squashed. The second he took his hand away from her face, her mouth pulled down in a frown and she leaned closer. That alone brought all of Vance’s anxiety racing back. The solution to his problem that jumped into his mind dumped so much adrenaline into his bloodstream that he feared he’d never get to sleep.

The only way to stop her from moving around all night was to do exactly what he had been trying to avoid. It was either that, or sleep on the couch. Vance knew the couch was the safer option, but leaving Natalie was harder than he expected. He knew it was a stupid thing to do, but he slid one arm beneath Natalie’s head and wrapped his other arm around her middle before pulling her against his chest.

Immediately, she stopped trying to move and pulled against him, drawing a strangled gasp from Vance. As relaxed as she had seemed before, it was only then that she truly let go and released all her fears and anxiety. Her body melted against his as utter peace settled over her. Vance could barely breathe, he was so shocked by her reaction to him.

Almost as startling was how good it felt to have her pressed against him. He’d been wanting to hold her since the moment she got the letter from her father, maybe even since the diner. He had wanted to protect her from the moment they first met at the date shark dinner meeting. Guilt that he shouldn’t be so close to Natalie after Stephanie’s death was buried beneath the calming sense of rightness he experienced with her in his arms.

In a million different ways, the plan to help and protect Natalie had just gotten so much more difficult.

Chapter 25

The First Time

Mondays were always hard, but Natalie had never felt like one had been quite as brutal as the Monday Vance went home. It had only been earlier that morning when he’d packed everything back into his duffle bag and said goodbye. They’d left at the same time, and it had physically hurt to know she’d go home to an empty apartment. Gypsy would still be there, but it wasn’t quite the same after spending so many days cooped up with Vance playing video games and cooking meals for each other. It had been this strange bubble outside of reality where threats didn’t exist and happiness was attainable.

In the back of her mind, Natalie knew the threats from her father were still all too real. Updates from Detective Morrow letting her know there had been no sign of him around her building or office were reassuring, but having to venture outside and face the day without Vance had her on pins and needles all day. Normally she was the last one to leave, but that day she watched the clock tick down, intending to bolt as soon as she could.

Fifteen minutes left.

A knock on her door made her jump, but that was par for the course with Natalie. Even more than usual, she was disturbed by the interruption, but she got up and unlocked the door all the same. She opened it just a few inches and peered out. Her boss was one of the few who made the effort to track her down in person every so often—probably to make sure she hadn’t disappeared—so it wasn’t surprising to find Donald standing in the hall. Natalie couldn’t imagine what he wanted since she didn’t owe him an update until the end of the week.

“Natalie, I’m glad I caught you. I just wanted to see how you were doing and if your friend was all right. I wasn’t sure you’d take the time off like I’d asked, so I was a little concerned things were worse with Vance than you’d let on when you actually used your vacation time,” Donald said.

More than a little surprised Donald had taken the time to ask about Vance, she struggled to come up with an answer as she forced herself to open the door a little wider. “Um, thank you. He’s good. Much better, actually. He just needed a friend to keep him distracted for a while. You know, until he could clear his head.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said happily. Maybe a little too happily. “Really great to hear, actually, because I was hoping I’d be able to talk you into something, and I thought Vance being your wingman might make it a little more palatable.”

Natalie’s stomach sank to her shoes and she almost slammed the door closed in his face. “What…what kind of…” She couldn’t even force herself to finish. No matter what dinner or party or seminar it was, the thought of attending a public event like that made her feel like she was going to vomit.

“Remember the project you green-lighted, oh, about eight months ago? The new pension plan program for that airline company?”

Natalie nodded. Speaking would probably have bad results. It had been one of the few meetings she’d been asked to attend in person, at the airline owner’s insistence.

“Anyway, it’s just gotten off the ground and everyone is thrilled with it. We’ve been invited to attend their annual gala, and the owner Michael Moniteau specifically requested you attend after all the hard work you did on the analysis for the project. He was quite impressed.” Donald beamed, clearly proud of her, but Natalie just wanted to disappear into the floor. “I know this isn’t your normal sort of thing, but I thought perhaps if Vance came as your plus one, sort of a buffer, it’d make it a little easier for you to handle the crowd.” He stared at her hopefully. “This was a really big client for us.”

Clutching the doorknob as tightly as she could, she really, really hoped she didn’t pass out in front of him. “When is it?” she heard herself ask. It was like someone else was speaking, because Natalie knew she’d never actually agree to show up for something like that.

Donald’s mouth split into a grin. “Friday night, seven o’clock at the Langham. Dress is black tie.” He was so giddy Natalie wanted to slap him, but that would require letting go of the door. “This is going to be great for your career, Natalie. I’m so glad you’ve agreed to come. I’ll have Caitlin email you the details in the morning.” He disappeared immediately after saying that. On purpose, Natalie was sure.

Agreed to? When exactly had she agreed to go to this thing? All she’d asked was when the gala was being held. Now she was somehow a confirmed guest? One of
hundreds
of guests. Panic rose swiftly. She stumbled back to her desk and barely managed to make her shaky fingers dial Vance. She was struggling to suck in enough air to talk when he answered, which of course sent him into panic mode.

“Natalie? What’s wrong?” he demanded. She heard the jingle of keys and knew instinctively that he was about to take off to come find her.

“Gala. Please. Help,” she gasped, unable to calm herself down enough to make any sense.

“What?” More sounds indicated Vance was still on the move. “Natalie, do me a favor. Put the phone down, cup your hands, and get your breathing under control. I have no idea what’s going on and you’re really freaking me out. I’m on my way to your apartment right now.”

“At…work,” she managed to squeeze out between breaths.

“Okay, I’m on my way to your office,” he said. “Now put the phone down.”

Her fingers were going numb, so dropping the phone was a relief. She struggled to get her cramping fingers to form into the right shape, but she got them over her mouth and nose and focused everything she had on slowing her breathing back down. By the time there was a knock on the door, seconds before it swung open but an eternity later, she was almost back to normal, though the tips of her fingers were still cold and tingly.

Vance rushed over to her as soon as he entered, and if she hadn’t already been so freaked out, she might have been worried he was going to clobber her judging by the expression on his face. He pulled up short of touching her, but looked nearly as panicked as she felt.

“Are you all right?” he demanded.

She nodded frantically and kept breathing. It looked like it was killing Vance to just sit there staring at her, and that was the push she needed to finally gain control and stem the last vestiges of her meltdown. “I’m sorry,” she said, gripping the chair’s armrests as her head swam a bit. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Epic fail on your part,” Vance said with a forced laugh. “What on earth got you so worked up?”

Natalie swallowed several times and breathed in as slow as she possibly could. “I have to go…to a gala. On Friday.”

Normally so understanding of her issues, she was shocked when Vance burst out laughing. It took down her anxiety considerably to see him laughing like that, but she didn’t understand at all. When Vance finally got control of himself he was still straining not to laugh. “I’m sorry,” he wheezed. “I’m not making light, but I thought something terrible had happened, like your father found you or that creep who grabbed you had done something again. I know this gala thing freaks you out, but wow, I’m so relieved you’re not in danger I just couldn’t help it.”

Natalie had to admit, it did sound a little crazy, freaking out over the gala when she had real threats to her safety. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Maybe we should have a code word for panic attacks and one for when someone’s about to kill me.”

Vance shook his head with another laugh. “Nobody’s trying to kill you, but a code word might be a good idea. You have no idea how scared I was.”

Feeling horrible, Natalie cringed. “Vance, I…”

He shook his head. “I’m not blaming you. You reacted to a scary situation, and I’m glad you called me right away. I’m even more glad this is something we can manage together and not another reason to get the police involved.”

Natalie gnawed on her lip for several seconds before saying, “Speaking of
us
handling this together, I kind of have a favor to ask.” Her hands twisted together as she looked at Vance. “Would you…go with me?”

“To the gala?” Vance smiled. “Of course. I’d be happy to.”

“Are you sure?”

Vance pushed away from where he’d been sitting on the edge of her desk during his laughing fit and came right up next to her. “I’m sure. I know this will be a challenge for you and I’m happy to help. Besides…I like spending time with you.”

Natalie’s heart rate rose again, but not in panic. “I’ve missed you today,” she said without thinking. Her body immediately tensed in fear of his reaction, but he only smiled.

“I missed you too.” He stepped closer. “In fact, I was hoping you’d have dinner with me. Being back in my apartment today has been…difficult. I think I’d feel better if you were there with me for a while, just so I can get used to it again.”

“I need to feed Gypsy first and let her out,” Natalie said, surprising herself with how easily she had agreed.

Vance nodded. “We’ll stop there first.” He glanced around the office before turning back to her. “Are you ready to leave now, or did you need to finish what you were working on?”

More than ready to get out of the office, Natalie said, “No, I’m ready,” and shut down her computer. As she locked her office door, Vance standing next to her, the thought hit her that they were going to the gala together. The simple fact that she had agreed to go was enough to send her into cardiac arrest. Now she had the added stress of it being a…date…of sorts. She hadn’t asked him to come as her date, but she’d be expected to introduce him. What was she supposed to say?

They had somehow covered the distance from her office to the elevator as her brain had been otherwise occupied. She balked at the elevator as soon as she saw it. “I’m sorry,” Vance said immediately. “I wasn’t thinking. Where are the stairs?”

She didn’t answer right away. Vance had helped her conquer more than she’d ever expected. Sure, she might not be able spend time in an enclosed space or share a bed with anyone else but him, but if she could do those things, she could surely manage a ride down in the elevator, right? As exhausted as she felt after the long day and the panic attack, the stairs were not appealing in the least.

“It’s okay,” she forced herself to say.

“It’s not a big deal to take the stairs,” he argued.

She shook her head. “I can do this.”

Natalie reached forward and pressed the call button before she thought about it for too long. The doors slid open much sooner than she would have expected. Vance made no move to push her forward. This was her choice and she needed to own it. The three steps it took to place herself inside the elevator were torturous, but she made it. Vance was stoic as he stepped in after her. Getting on was the easy part. Not having a panic attack before they hit the bottom would be the real accomplishment.

They made it down several floors before an unexpected slowing made Natalie do something completely out of character. Vance’s eyes bulged as he stared down at her hand wrapped around his. He barely even seemed to notice the two people who stepped onto the elevator with them, but Natalie was all too aware of their presence.

Given that it was the end of the work day, they were forced to stand together in the little box all the way down to the parking garage. Vance’s poor fingers were completely white by the time they reached the bottom. He almost had to drag her off the elevator once the other two people exited. She half expected him to drag her to her car and shove her in just to get his hand back, but he surprised her by leading her to the wall and pinning her against it.

Really, he was just standing in front of her, but the closeness made it feel claustrophobic. Natalie stared down at their hands. “I can’t let go,” she whispered, somewhat scared that she couldn’t seem to make her hand do what she was telling it to do.

Instead of helping her out, prying her fingers off his hand or something, Vance leaned closer to her. “Do you want to?”

Did she? She knew she probably
should
let go of his hand, but just like that first accidental touch, his warmth was calming. Logically, she knew his skin wasn’t any warmer than any other person’s, but it felt that way. “No,” she finally said.

Vance’s mouth was suddenly right next to her ear. “Then don’t.”

Turning to meet his gaze, she found herself practically nose to nose with him. An entirely new kind of panic gripped her. A good one. She had never wanted to be physically close to someone so badly in her entire life. It wasn’t the same with Vance as it had been with Thomas. Maybe if it had been the first time she’d found herself calmed by Vance’s touch, it would have seemed strange, but it wasn’t, and she wasn’t just talking about one little accident.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve been this close,” she whispered.

Vance’s eyebrows rose, but he didn’t say anything.

“I know you hold me while I sleep,” she said, feeling suddenly brave. “I usually wake up before you.”

“And it doesn’t scare you?” The question was honest and searching, but there was excitement in his eyes too.

“The first time,” she admitted, “but it felt so…good. And I didn’t have bad dreams, and I didn’t wake up in a panic.”